Chapter 9

The next morning found Strong Mad, Tapioca, Strong Bad and The Cheat in what looked like the same place they had left the night before. Then again, all fairgrounds tend to look the same, no matter where they are, and different trees and buildings far away in the distance were the only clue that they actually were someplace else. Strong Mad and Tapioca winced as the tarp was pulled off their cage and the bright sunlight hit their eyes, and Strong Bad and The Cheat stumbled out of the trailer looking worse for wear (hard to blame them, who could sleep with all those clowns?). The latter two went off to find some breakfast so they wouldn't have to think of a plan on an empty stomach (and also to avoid too much suspicion) while Strong Mad and Tapioca awaited their own breakfast with not too much anticipation. (Seeing as a sign was being painted right near their cage, the fumes took away any appetite they might have mustered up for the substandard food anyway.) Strong Mad overheard the pair's show names mentioned by Madame X in a conversation with one of the carnival workers and urged Tapioca to listen.

"Oui. Zey have been bringing in less-zan-acceptable eencome. I plan to eemortalize zem…"

Just then she was interrupted by Homsar scuttling up to her, dressed in a Renaissance outfit.

"Daaaah, tuba or not tuba, that is the Quentin Tarantino!" he loudly non-sequitured.

"Go away, you stoopid seeng! For zee last time, zees ees zee wrong fair!"

"One, two, one, two! And through and through the vorpal blade went snicker-snack!" Homsar proclaimed to no one as he left. Tapioca threw a pebble at him as he went by.

"Forgeeve zee strange interruption. I have poisoned zeir breakfast, and we shall stuff zem and sell zem to zee Smithsonian."

Strong Mad and Tapioca looked at each other. Neither one needed to say a thing.

Madame X disappeared into a tent and returned with a bowl of slop with little bits of Lord-knows-what in it. "Now go," she urged, handing the worker the bowl and smiling a savage smile of satisfaction as he walked towards their cage, thrust the bowl through a small sliding door and slammed it shut immediately after. Madame X spun around and left, considering the act complete.

Noticing their breakfast was bubbling, Tapioca took a wild venture and splashed a small portion of it on the bars.

That was all she needed.

The poison ate through the bars almost instantly. Strong Mad cheered loudly but was quickly hushed by Tapioca. They escaped without any regard for who might be looking and Tapioca grabbed the paintbrush from the nearby paint. Together the two painted the poisoned breakfast onto the bars of all the freaks' cages, and all sorts of people and creatures darted out and ran off in all directions. Once they had finished the last one, Strong Mad took off running, swerving dangerously as he went, for the joy of being free coupled with the paint fumes had made him more than a little loopy. The fumes had only given Tapioca a massive headache and so it was all she could do to keep up with him. Strong Mad ran behind a stage, dashed up the stairs, burst out through the curtains, and threw the hapless amateur comic offstage. The audience laughed and cheered, thinking it was part of the act, and Strong Mad launched into a stand-up routine of his own.

"TOILETS! FAT PEOPLE! GEORGE W. BUSH!" Of course, the entire audience cracked up at this, and Strong Mad was just eating it up. He yelled at the house band to "PLAY SOMETHING!" and they did, because what Strong Mad says goes. He grabbed Tapioca, who was standing at the front of the stage, hoisted her up into his arms, and began to serenade her.

"POTATOOOOO!

PORTUGUESE WATER DOOOOOG!

FORD MOTORS AND FHQWHGADS

AND TAPPY TOOOOO!"

Tapioca was extremely flattered, and sang the second verse in reply.

"Tomatooooo!

Arrow-dart poison frooooog!

Poor voters and stewed okra pods

And Strong Mad tooooo!"

The two gazed into each others' eyes, and sang as one.

"La la la, blah blah blah,

A song sung from the heart!

If we weren't together,

We would be apart!"

They then turned to the audience for the big finish.

"Chicagooooo!

Lexus convertible!

Fried chicken and alpaca wool

And I love yooooou!"

This was met with jeers and much food being flung onstage. Strong Mad and Tapioca bolted towards the food and gobbled it up, seeing as they hadn't had a decent meal in quite some time now. With that they raced off the stage to find Strong Bad and The Cheat and get out of there (while first stopping to take a shower and get into their normal clothes again). Almost immediately their escape was hindered by a seething Madame X, her white face now as red as her dress.

"HOW COULD YOU – HOW COULD YOU – ZEY HAVE ALL ESCAPED!" she sputtered, foaming at the mouth and practically unable to speak. Tapioca kicked some dirt into her eye and the two ran off as she shrieked in blind rage (so to speak). Finally they caught up with Strong Bad and The Cheat, and Tapioca asked if Strong Bad had any means to get away, which he didn't. Just then Madame X rounded a corner and came tearing at them, apparently not having her tranquilizer gun on her. Strong Mad and Tapioca ducked into a trailer, while Strong Bad and the Cheat tagged along, Strong Bad rolling the camera. Tapioca decided that the two needed some disguises until they were absolutely sure that they had lost Madame X. Ravaging through the clowns' costume trunk, she donned a large red cape, a blue straw hat, and some gigantic yellow sunglasses. Strong Mad made eyeholes in a paper plate, drew his own face on it, and held it in place with a single piece of masking tape at the top. All four were heading through the carnival's exit when a security guard stopped Strong Mad and Tapioca.

"Um, sorry about this, but Madame X has alerted us to look for certain people who are leaving the carnival, for reasons she wouldn't disclose. Names, please?"

"I'm…Edith Frumgarbage," Tapioca stated, as a breeze blew Strong Mad's paper plate straight up in the air, revealing his face, and then let the plate fall again. "And this is…"

"BOZO THE MITTEN!" Strong Mad interrupted.

"Okay, you guys are good to go," the security guard dismissed them.

The four hightailed it on foot for awhile, then Strong Bad turned off the camera and everyone stopped at a gas station for lunch.

"We're a couple on the lam, just like Bonnie and Clyde!" Tapioca whispered excitedly to Strong Mad.

"I know! This is gonna make such the greatest show," Strong Bad declared.

"Can't you think of anything besides your stupid network?" Tapioca demanded. "You didn't do anything to help us out!"

"What? It's not like you needed any help," Strong Bad retorted. Just then their food came and everyone dug in. Afterward they spent the afternoon trying to get home and occasionally one of four would get sidetracked and they'd spend time sightseeing and visiting various tourist traps (it turns out they were in some cliffside New England town). Dusk finally set in, and Strong Mad, Tapioca and The Cheat were chasing fireflies (Strong Bad wasn't, he was too cool for that sort of thing).

"I love this place, it reminds me of Crescent Hollow," Tapioca told Strong Mad, who was holding her at eye level.

"I LOVE YOU!" Strong Mad answered, staring at some ensnared fireflies winking in Tapioca's hair.

"Sweet, if not a terribly clever transition," Tappy answered. "Love you too."

The two shared a big smooch under the full moon, waves crashing in the distance. All was right in the world.

For now.