- Chapter nine -
Not the same

John had never traveled the distance between the apartment and the Tyler mansion as fast as he did after Jackie's call. With mixed feeling, he drove up until he reached the house, and practically jumped out of the car.

The doors flung open as he bursted into the room. At the bottom of the stairs, it stood. The TARDIS. For a second, the blue box was all he could see. It didn't matter that he only was half time lord and not the Doctor, because he had all the memories of traveling with her. His wonderful ship. His wonderful, amazing, brilliant ship that always had been with him. He couldn't even begin to describe the feeling, it was all stars and fireworks.

Then he saw the man standing in front of it. He was tall, almost as tall as John himself, but he sort of crumbled. He had a strong chin, blue-green eyes but the thing that made him rememberable was the bow-tie.

It only took John a moment to figure out who it was. Partly, because of the sonic screwdriver he was fiddling nervously with, but mostly because of the look in his eyes. John had seen that very same look multiple times; it was his own eyes, both after and while being the Doctor.

He had regenerated. Of course he had. He looked so much younger – and the girl. A cute, young girl was standing behind him, biting her lip. He had replaced Rose? Again?

His already burning rage grew – if possible – even stronger.

"Where the hell have you been?" He roared and took a menacing step forward.

The Doctor frowned at him. "Parallel universe, remember?" He straightened his bow-tie nervously. "I got the message, but I–"

"That", John spat. "was a month ago. A whole month! I know you have the hearts to leave her all miserable and in tears on a beach, but at least I thought you cared enough to want her alive. Another month she's been gone – she's probably dead and it's you fault!"

Smack!

His head was thrown at side when the hand slapped him. Not the Doctor's hand; Jackie's hand.

"Don't you dare say that about my daughter!" She cried through her tears. "She can take care of herself, you've seen it! Both of you! She's strong, and she'll always fight her way back to me. She's not dead."

John stared at her, taken by his own stupidity. Not because he didn't think Rose couldn't fight – he knew she could, but what use would her bravery be against, let's say, a weeping angel? – but because of the words that had left his mouth.

She's probably dead.

How could he ever had said something like that? How for the love of Gallifrey could he have said something like that about his Rose? Horrified, he looked back at the Doctor, who seemed to have the same thoughts.

"I got the message less than two days ago", he then answered with a low voice and just stared into John's eyes. His calmness made John mad. If someone had ever said something like that about Rose to John, then he would have attacked with rage, but the Doctor just looked at him with a calm and steady look in his eyes.

"Yeah", the girl said and was suddenly by his side. "We came as soon as we could."

John glared at her before he returned his gaze to the Doctor, now feeling the shock fade away and the anger burst up again.

"Who is she, then? A new little girl you picked up to keep you company? To have fun with?"

"Hey", the girl snapped. "I've got a voice of my own, you know, and a name."

"This is Clara", the Doctor said and laid a arm around the girls shoulders. "And yes, she is my companion." His eyes turned darker. "Now, what happened to Rose?"

John stared at him, refusing to talk, so Jackie took a step forward again.

"I told you, Doctor", she said in a low voice. "She was happy, had a good life and lived like that for five years after that we came back. Then one day, six months ago, she just disappeared. Not a word, not a trace – just gone."

"And where did you last see her?"

Jackie opened her mouth to answer, but tears welled in her eyes and she covered her face with her hands.

"The hospital", John answered for her. "And then we think she ran to the Torchwood Tower."

"Ran?"

"She was upset."

"Upset?" the Doctor asked and looked even more concerned. "Why?"

A knife twisted in John's stomach. He wasn't going to tell him. Never.

"Never mind why", he snapped. "That's not important. She was at the hospital, where anyone last saw her, and then at Torchwood."

He could see the mistrust in the Doctor's eyes. They had once been the same man and both knew how the other felt for her, which made them both know that the reason to Rose being upset was, in fact, of great importance. But John wasn't going to tell him anything more than what was necessary.

"What have they done to find her?" the Doctor asked, even though John could see other questions wanting to burst out of the man.

"The police?" he snorted. "Nothing. Some searches and shout outs, but they think she left voluntarily."

"Why would they think that?"

"Because of reasons", John said dryly. "I know she didn't leave voluntarily."

"And how do you know that?"

John glared at him but didn't answer. He knew as well as him that Rose never would leave her mother like that. Sure, she'd ran away with him in the TARDIS but that was different. She'd never leave now, during the.. circumstances.

"What have you done, then?" the Doctor asked, sounding slightly irritated.

"Everything!" John cried. "Who do you think I am?"

The other man looked like if he was about to say something, but then turned to the TARDIS.

"If the last place she went to was the Torchwood Tower, then let's go there!" He opened the door and entered. The girl came running after him.

"What are you going to do?" John snorted. "Search for traces of some sort of extra-terrestrial technology or energy? She disappeared six months ago. There aren't going to be anything there."

The girl stopped just outside the door and looked back at John.

"Well, it's a time machine", she said. "Can't we just go back six months?"

"We can't cross our own time-stream", the Doctor's voice shouted from inside the machine.

Every inch of John's body told him to go inside the ship and feel the amazing feeling he always got. The feeling of being home. But his clear mind refused and he stayed where he was.

"Well, it isn't ours", the girl answered.

"Now it is." The Doctor tuck his head out the doors, making her take a surprised step backwards. "Are you coming or not?"

"Go with them", Jackie answered for him. "Find her and bring her back to me, alright?"

John nodded slowly but didn't move.

"Aren't you coming?" the Doctor asked surprised and looked at Jackie.

"Tobias is sick", she answered quietly. "He's just seven. I can't leave him."

"Oh", the Doctor smiled, then turned his gaze to John once more. "Come one then." He ran back inside the ship with the girl just behind him.

John walked slowly against the door, let his hand touch the blue painted wood and then took the step in. It didn't feel the same. Of course, it felt like the last time, but the times he remembered – back when he still had been the Doctor – was much different.

To feel the TARDIS like a half human was like only eating the frosting of a cake. It was good, but not nearly as good as the whole experience. It didn't even look the same. Wait. It actually didn't look the same.

"You made her change the desktop theme!" he cried out as the doors behind him closed.

The Doctor gave him an irritated look as he started to flip some levels and push some buttons at the console. John stared around in the room. Like always, the idea was the same but the decoration different. He actually liked it, it looked very beautiful and whole.

Although, "I don't like it", he said out loud.


A/N: Not really the best chapter, I know, but as compensation for that I'm gonna try to post a new chapter later today. Soon, thing's will actually start to happen, haha.