Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom so go form a lawsuit on someone else.
oOoOoOo
"Hello?" the voice of Vlad was heard from Skulker's phone.
"Where are you?" Skulker growled.
"Skulker? Is that you? How did you get my number?"
"I found your secretary and she gave it to me."
"Darnit! I hired her specifically so that she wouldn't give away my number to just anyone!"
" . . . She had some persuasion."
A sigh came from the other end, "I suppose you want me back?"
"No, actually, the child and I have become great friends and I'm going take him in as my own."
"Really?!"
"No! I am sick and tired of the child! He's driving me crazy! I've hardly gotten any sleep and he's trapped frogs in my pants twice this week, not to mention all the times he's dumped water over my head to 'save me from the fire'! I can't take it anymore! If you don't come over here right now then I'll leave this instant!" Skulker yelled over the phone. He had a really bad headache and although yelling didn't help the headache at all, it felt good to find an outlet for his anger.
"Wait, wait!" Vlad said hastily, "You can't leave him there by himself!"
"So far, he's managed to handle himself pretty well. I don't even see the point of me being here."
"He's a danger to himself! He gets into everything! If you leave, he'd probably accidentally kill himself!"
Skulker recalled earlier that week when Danny almost chopped off his fingers when playing with the kitchen blender. Not to mention when the kid nearly stuck the end of a paper clip in an electrical socket. What was it with kids and sticking objects into dangerous things? "I think he'd be fine on his own," Skulker replied casually.
There was silence on the other end for a moment, then, "So, has he been causing that much trouble?"
In a dark tone, Skulker answered, "It's unbelievable that such a small thing can cause so much chaos. If such ability could be harnessed, then I could rule both worlds with it."
" . . . Well, I suppose you throwing a tantrum would be quite a sight to see."
"The kid keeps crying for his mom and dad too. It's grating my nerves," the ghost said ferally.
There was a pause of silence on the other end, " . . . Ha-has he been missing anyone else?"
Skulker smirked at the hopeful tone. Just to spite the man, he said "No, I don't think so."
"Oh . . ," was said in an almost despondant voice. Skulker wasn't usually this cruel, but he'd had a particularly bad day filled with sliding on mayonaise coated floors and it was true that miserary did love company.
"I don't see why you insist on keeping the child," said Skulker, "After this event, I'm never going to have kids."
"Ghosts can have kids?!"
"Anyway," Skulker changed the subject, "where have you been this entire time?"
"Caribbean. It's a bit too sunny and hot for my liking, but the palm trees are nice. It's strange to think that scientists have yet to discover a way to allow them to grow in cold climates."
"Having alot of fun?"
"Oh yes. I went scuba diving yesterday and it was beautiful!"
"Well, I'm glad that your having the time of your life. It's unfortunate that some people are stuck babysitting kids that like to torment them at every waking moment, causing the babysitters to be on the verge of homicide!"
" . . . Fine. I'll be there before the day is out," Vlad said resignatedly over the phone and they both hung up.
Putting down the phone, Skulker sighed and figured that he'd better locate the child before Vlad came back, just as soon as he could remember where he tied up the kid at last.
oOoOoOo
Vlad quickly packed his things and left his hotel, grumbling to himself about lousy subordinates. It was to his surprise when he met up with a familiar, but unwelcome, face while walking to his limo.
"Vlad Masters!" the annoying voice shouted.
The words 'oh, crap' and 'pest' floated through Vlad's mind as he tried to pretend he didn't notice the idiot of a man dressed in the usual tourist apparel(sp?).
"Hey Vlady! How's it going?!" Jack Fenton stood barely a foot away in front of him, making it impossible for him to pretend that they didn't know each other.
"What on earth are you doing here? Wait, is Maddie here?" he asked hopefully.
The giant man pouted briefly, "Nah, she's already on her way home. See, our daughter convinced us to take a vacation down here. We were supposed to stay another week, but we missed the kids so much that we decided to end it early and go back home."
As much as he hated to ask, he did nonetheless, "Why aren't you with her?"
"We got booked on different flights. I'm on my way to the airport right now. So, what are you doing here?"
"I'm just here on business," Vlad stated icily. Sure he could say that he'd been here on vacation like Jack was, but frankly, he didn't want to have anything in common with the man.
"Oh, I see!" Jack said jovially, "Always the busy one, aren't you? Are you going back home to Wisconsin?" Jack asked after noticing Vlad's luggage.
"Yes, I have urgent business there as well," he replied drily.
"Hey, do you think that I could hitch a ride? I planned on taking the bus, but I think I missed it. Besides, it's been a while since we last seen each other. We could use the time to catch up!" Jack said excitedly.
Vlad considered it for a moment. He wasn't the most charitable person in the world, but if Jack was by himself, then it'd be the perfect chance to rip on him and rub it in his face that he had Jack's son without anyone jumping onto him. Of course, he wouldn't let Jack know he had the man's child (he doubted that Jack even realized it yet), but it would be amusing for him to insult Jack when the man was too thick to realize it.
"Sure!" Vlad said in mock chumminess, "I couldn't leave a good friend in need!"
"Thanks Vlad, your the best!"
The two of them climbed into the vehicle and began their drive to the airport. It was a good thing it was a limo since Vlad wasn't sure if Jack would be able to fit in any normal sized chair.
"Wow!" Jack said in awe, "This sure is roomy!"
"I'm sure that's a pleasant surprise for someone like you," Vlad said with a silent snicker to himself.
Just as Vlad thought, the comment flew right over Jack's head, "Whoah! Is that a cooler? Oh look! You even have a game system in here! This is awesome! You sure are living the high life!" The moron kept turning in the seat to make sure that every little feature didn't go unseen.
Vlad resisted rolling his eyes at Jack's over-enthusiam, "So how are the kids?" he asked.
Ripping his gaze from the HD-TV, Jack replied, "Well, I think Jazz is learning another language right now. I think it was French. No, wait, maybe it was Spanish?"
"Perhaps she's been speaking English the entire time, but you just can't understand her," Vlad said, implying upon how bad Jack's vocabulary could be at times. For a moment, he worried that he may have gone too far. Of course, he wouldn't mind if Jack became insulted, but it would take all the fun out of it.
"Yeah, your probably right. She might be studying some sort of British or Australian English," Jack said thoughtfully.
Vlad snorted, but covered it up as a cough. Only Jack would figure that there were vast differences in the other forms of English. "And how might Daniel be doing?" Vlad asked with fake curiousity laced in his voice.
"He's been doing well!" Jack said proudly at first, but then gave a sad sigh, "I haven't seen him recently though. He keeps staying over at his friends without telling us about it first. Jazz said that it was just a phase, but Maddie and I feel as though he's distanced himself from us," Jack sniffed.
"Errr . . ," Vlad wasn't sure on how to comment on that one. Normally, he would be amused at the irony, but for some reason, it just wasn't that enjoyable. Thankfully his cell phone rang to interrupt the uneasy silence.
Flipping open the phone, Vlad answered the call with a "What is it?"
"Uh, this is Steevie . . ," an unfamiliar voice came from the other line that sounded marginally slurred.
"Who is Steevie and how did you get this number?" Vlad asked irritably. Okay, he could understand how Skulker got his number, but was his secretary so incompetent that she couldn't tell the difference between who should have his number and who shouldn't?
"Uh, I'm Steevie and I, uhhh, asked your secretary for your number."
Dear God, did this guy have any brains at all or did he fry them with drugs? "It doesn't take a genius to figure out what your name is! What I'm asking is, 'Why are you calling me?'"
"Uh, your private jet is sorta' busted."
The hell? Was he being stalked by some creepy guy on marijuana? "What do you mean it's busted? How would you know the condition of my plane?!" Vlad asked, slightly paranoid.
"It's got something wrong with, uh, something in it and it's, uhhh, getting repairs. I'm, uh, the pilot for your jet so I-"
"-Your fired," Vlad interrupted Steevie and hung up. Really, how did he manage to have so many idiots for employees? He should personally look over the resumes for any position of importance.
Vlad almost screamed when he saw noticed Jack sitting opposite of him. He had momentarily forgotten that the other man was there. How strange it was for him to not notice the man when he was so large.
Jack had fixed him with a funny look that he wasn't sure of what it was supposed to mean.
Puzzled, Vlad asked, "What?".
Jack opened his mouth to answer, but the chauffer(sp?) informed them that they had arrived at their destination before Jack could say a word.
Jack seemed to reconsider something before saying, "Well, we're here. Since your plane's busted, will you be using the ones here?"
"I suppose," he said slowly. He didn't have to fly by plane to Wisconsin, but flying in his ghost form over large distances was rather draining and something told him he would need all the energy he could gather if he was to be faced with Daniel again.
"Hey, maybe you and I will get seats next to each other!" Jack said with renewed excitement.
"I highly doubt that," Vlad and Jack got out of the limo and made their way into the airport.
"Oh well. I guess I should get going. I want to get on the plane early just to make sure that no one steals my seat!" Jack swatted Vlad on the back and said, "Seeya' later V-man!"
Vlad didn't bother to wave goodbye. He was too busy dealing with being winded from Jack's good natured hit.
After catching his breath, Vlad walked up to a nearby ticket clerk and asked when the next flight to Wisconsin would be.
"Sorry, sir," the clerk started, "We don't have any flights that go that far north. However, you could fly one of our planes here to a northern airport, then board another plane to Wisconsin."
"I'll do that then," Vlad said, "I want a first-class ticket for the soonest flight north."
"Uh," the ticket clerk typed a bit on her keyboard and bit her lip, "I'm sorry sir, but the soonest we can book you for is two weeks from now and one week if you switch to third class."
"That won't do! Can't you just cancel someone else's flight?" Vlad then lowered his voice, "I'll pay you double."
"I'm sorry sir, but we can't give someone another person's seat unless they cancel on their own."
"Let me rephrase that," Vlad said, leaning slightly over the counter, "I'll pay you for the ticket, then give you one-thousand American dollars under the table."
The woman stared at him with an unreadable face.
"Do we have a deal?"
Turning her nose up slightly at him, "I'm sorry, sir, but it's company policy and I'm not that way."
"Two-thousand dollars and that's my last offer!" Vlad said loudly, drawing some unwanted attention.
"I'm sorry si-"
"Four-thousand dollars!"
"Sir, we can't gi-"
"Please! My son is dying with cancer and I must see him before he leaves this world and me forever!" the clerk gazed at him disbelievably. Vlad raised his head dramatically and shouted, "WHY IS THE WORLD SO CRUEL?!"
Several people were staring now. Vlad lowered his head into his hands and sobbed, "It's bad enough that the world is taking away the only thing that's precious to me! If you don't help me, then I'll never get a chance to see him again!" The people staring had frowns evident on their faces.
With a frightful glare, the woman said, "Sir, I can't ge-"
"-I'll never get to tell him how much I love him!"
"Sir-"
"-Please! I'm desperate!"
"No-"
"-How many tears will it take before the world is satisfied!?"
"Alright!" the woman nearly shrieked, "I may be able to find a third class ticket available for today, but you have to shut up."
"Thank you so much!" Vlad sniffed as he paid for his ticket and left the booth.
Vlad smiled at his victory as he made his way to his plane. Those acting classes really did pay off. He may have laid it on a bit too thick and it was slightly embaressing, but he got what he wanted. Ever since that incident with the ghost portal, he made sure that he always got what he wanted. Perhaps he had grown somewhat spoiled after his big success, but he was intent on never being disappointed again.
When Vlad boarded the plane, he realized how different first and third class were. He never really imagined it to be so different. He merely figured that only poor people got third class and didn't think beyond that. Now he understood why so many people complained about it. It was cramped. Really cramped. There were people practically sitting on top of each other and the level of noise was nearly unbearable. People shouting at flight attendants and the cries of children filled his ears.
Frowning, Vlad glanced at his ticket and tried to find his seat. Third class wasn't pleasant, but like hell if he was going to back out now after he had tried so hard to get the ticket.
Vlad found his seat near the back in the middle column. He didn't get a window seat, but at least he got one that was next to the aisle. Vlad took his seat and gazed around idly. There was a middle aged woman sitting opposite of the aisle holding a young child that briefly reminded him of Daniel, on his right sat some tourist looking in the other direction, far down the aisle was an flight attendant having a nervous breakdown, and some idiot in front of him was picking his nose.
"Charming," Vlad said. The man next to Vlad turned in his seat and gasped. Figuring that the man had seen something particularly interesting, Vlad looked to the left to find that there was nothing of real interest about the middle-aged woman, aside from the fact that she was scolding the child for something.
"V-man!"
Vlad jumped in his seat at the voice. He slowly turned his head to find Jack next to him with a smile plastered onto his face.
Oh God, the irony was practically choking him.
oOoOoOo
A/N: Okay . . . here's five and a half hours worth of non-stop typing after having to redo it twice. I'm hoping that the chapter is large enough to make up for my absence. If there's any spelling or grammar mistakes, I apologize. I plan to fix all the little problems in the fic (especially the boomerang) eventually. I don't know when I'll do it, but I'll do it. I'm hoping that I will add another chapter since making Vlad uncomfortable is really funny. Vlad and Skulker may seem a bit snarky, but I want to try to keep them in character and besides, they're having bad days. For any of those who ask (and I know there will be!), I do not hate Jack. I love Jack, but Vlad hates Jack so this sort of stuff is what you'll find often. I know that there wasn't much Danny in this chapter, but I'll make up for it. Okay, I'm about ready to drop, so hopefully you'll hear from me soon. .
