Author's Note: I would like to just take a moment to marvel at how many of you got who is three friends are... There. Done. To those who got it right, you are in the minority.


Calvin's first real journey in an alien spaceship did not disappoint.

The view from over the planet amazed him. It wasn't the view he had been expecting, as he had always imagined seeing the Earth in its natural form. Seeing it made over into some bizarre colorful monster-infested hellhole made it all the more fascinating for him.

"This is incredible," Calvin breathed, pressing his face against the plexiglass viewscreen. "All of this came out of my head! I created the whole world!"

"Just don't suffer from any delusions of grandeur," Hobbes sighed, rolling his eyes. "What's happened to all the people on the planet?"

"We're still registering the same amount of life forms as before," Galaxoid said from his pilot controls "However, certain details about them have been changed. Anyone caught up in the power of the Imaginator device seems to have been altered by it."

"Why weren't we affected?"

"You and Calvin were at the eye of the storm," Nebular replied. "We ourselves were in orbit at the time and out of its reach."

"Have you found the life sign yet?" Calvin asked.

"Not yet, but we're searching the entire planet's surface."

Calvin sighed and continued to press his nose against the window he was looking through. "I wonder if my parents are down there…," he said quietly. "I wonder what the Imaginator turned them into."

Hobbes rubbed his back reassuringly. "I'm sure they'll be fine," he said. "Once we've reversed this, your mom will be complaining about some mess you've made, and your dad will be dragging us all off on a camping trip, telling us that camping in the Arctic 'builds character'."

Calvin sneered. "I hope that's not genetic…"

A playful smirk traipsed across Hobbes' lips. "Are you worried about Susie?"

Calvin's eye twitched. "Excuse me?"

"You remember? Susie Derkins? Your one true love?"

"Hobbes…"

"You are! You're worried sick about her! You're wondering if you'll ever get a chance to tell her how you really feel about her!"

"She knows how I feel about her. I once threw a water balloon with maple syrup on her when she went outside in her new clothes. That's how I feel about her."

"Big talker. You like to act all tough and masculine to mask your real feelings! Have you ever imagined what it would feel like to have Susie's warm lips pressed against yours?"

"What?! Ewww! No! Ick!"

"If you have, I'll bet they're down there! An imagined version of you is in a lip-lock with Susie down there somewhere!"

"Oooh, if you weren't an endangered species, I'd…"

"Calvin, we've found it!" Galaxoid interrupted.

The two friends snapped out of their routine and hurried over to the computers.

Galaxoid punched up an image of Africa, which now took on the form of a giant lima bean, and they could already see several giant monsters running across it.

"The signal is coming from this continent," Nebular explained. "He must be down there somewhere."

"Then let's go get him," Calvin replied.

The ship dipped down low and headed for the strange continent.


A little red spacecraft zoomed through the trees, swaying left and right, zigzagging quickly to avoid crashing into anything. It did an impressive corkscrew spin around the thick jungle it was in, dodging the various tree branches as it went.

The pilot was short, had spiky blonde hair and a blue jumpsuit, as well as a black mask. He looked at his radar and saw that his pursuers were still following him.

Grunting to himself, Spaceman Spiff pressed a button on his control panel.

"Pilot's log," he announced. "I have arrived on some strange insane topsy-turvy world full of evil creatures that are trying to destroy me and rip me apart. In other words, business as usual. I need assistance if I'm going to escape. If any of the other spacemen out there find this message, it means I'm already dead, and it's too late to help me. I guess I'm just recording this to distract myself from my long overdue date with death."

The strange creature had a scaly body, a long neck and huge wings that propelled it after the craft. It had three rows of sharp teeth that looked poised to rip a small red spaceship apart if it need to, and it seemed to believe that it needed to.

Spiff thought to himself. "I need to find a way to get around this guy. If I can just get behind him, I can fire a laser at his weak spot and take him out. Unfortunately, all these trees are keeping me from getting all the way around him and doing this. I just need…"

He trailed off when his radar picked up something. Taking a moment to steer with his feet, he took a closer look at it.

It was another ship.

"How very timely," he remarked with a sly grin.

The ship came in from behind and stayed above the trees, following the case like a police chopper. It lined up with the creature until it was right behind its skull. There was a pause as it planned out its next move.

Then it fired a hot red laser at the back of the creature's neck.

It let out an otherworldly howl of pain as smoke billowed from the wound, and it spiraled straight into the trees, where it crashed to the ground in a heap, finally dead.

The two ships managed to locate a clearing, where they touched down.

Spiff turned the key, and the ship's engine stopped, and steam was released as the glass dome around him rose and allowed him to get out.

He walked over to the other ship, which was much larger, and so he had to wait for the embarkation ramp to lower and allow its occupants out.

As it did, he saw four figures descending, and he went straight into hero mode.

"Ahhh, my friends! I am Spaceman Spiff – space explorer! Thanks for saving my butt back there. With all the trees, I couldn't get a decent shot at its head. Thanks for…"

He began to trail off as he realized who was coming towards him: a tiger, two small aliens, and someone who looked exactly like him.

"You…," he whispered, almost reverential.

"Me," Calvin replied, looking at his space-faring alter ego in amazement. "And you. This is amazing."

Spiff held out a hand, and Calvin shook it. They looked each other up and down, as if measuring each other.

For Hobbes, Galaxoid and Nebular, the experience was twice as weird – mainly because there seemed to be twice as many Calvins. They looked almost exactly the same, except that maybe Spiff's voice was a little deeper than Calvin's – perhaps indicating what Calvin would sound like when he got older.

"I have to admit," Spiff was saying, "I've seen some weird stuff in my time, but seeing my own handsome face as it must've looked when I was a kid…"

Calvin smirked. "Yeah, well, we don't really have time to reminisce," he said, crossing his arms. "Retro has completely rebuilt the Earth in my image, and as cool as that is, it needs to be rectified."

"Right," Spiff agreed. "So! I'll take my ship and follow you guys."


The moon hung in the sky over the metropolitan city. Everyone had gone to bed a long time ago, as it was well after midnight by now and everyone had to work the next day.

They all must've been heavy sleepers because no one was coming to investigate the ruckus going on outside.

A superhero wearing a dark red cape and mask and wearing a comfortably-stretchy jumpsuit went flying through the air and crashed into a pair of trashcans in an alley, spilling their contents all over the pavement. He took a brief moment to regain his senses before he staggered upright again and cleaned himself off, staring up at the people who'd thrown him.

"Give it up, Stupendous Man!" one of the masked menaces said angrily. "We've finally got you right where we want you! Now we can make you clean your roompermanently!"

"You'll never defeat me, Evil Mom Lady!" Stupendous Man snapped in retaliation. "I am STUPENDOUS MAN! Champion of Justice and Defeater of Evil! I'll see you and your cohorts beaten and thrown in jail if it's the last thing I ever do!"

The second figure stepped into the glow of the streetlight above him. "Have it your way, you irresponsible cretin," he growled through his spandex costume, squinting through his purple mask. "We're going to make sure your destruction is done in a way so painful and horrific, you'll have no choice but to build character and a learn from the experience!"

"Do your worst, Dastardly Dad! I won't let you crush me!"

The two villains immediately took out two heavy-looking guns that were painted bright yellow and aimed directly at him.

"Feel the wrath of our Chore Guns!" Evil Mom Lady shouted.

They squeezed the triggers, and twin blasts of yellow energy shot across the distance between them and struck Stupendous Man right in the chest, sending him flying backwards and onto the ground.

When he stood up, he realized that he had a load of laundry in a laundry basket that materialized in his arms. He staggered under the absolute weight of it.

"No!" he gasped, struggling to hold it up. "Not laundry! I'm Stupendous Man! Men don't do laundry!"

"Better wake up, Stupendous Man," Evil Mom Lady cackled. "The twenty-first century's coming! Men will do laundry and wash dishes and make their own beds!"

"No! Stop! Let me rewind time by spinning the Earth backwards! I can make it the 1950's again!"

"That would never work!" Dastardly Dad felt the need to point out. "Spinning the Earth backwards would only cause massive atmospheric disruption! You'd only destroy the planet!"

"Curse you, physics! Fine! I'll use my STUPENDOUS strength to dispose of my chores! Here, Dastardly Dad – build yourself some character!"

And with a stupendous grunt, Stupendous Man managed to fling the mountain of dirty laundry through the air, and it landed on top of the two villains, losing them in its depths.

"Ha! Take that, you evil fiends!"

Evil Mom Lady managed to crawl out of the filthy clothes and get a good glare going. "You leave us with no choice, do-gooder! We're calling in the big guns!" And she stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled around her bright red rubber gloves.

There was a flash of light from behind him, and Stupendous Man whirled around and stared at the figure that now loomed over him. He gasped at who it was.

It was a teenage girl wearing a mask and a jet black spandex figure-hugging outfit which revealed how little that there was on her to reveal. Nevertheless, she looked rather confident, which anyone could tell from the smug smirk smeared across her face.

"Great Moons of Neptune!" Stupendous Man exclaimed. "It's my arch-nemesis – Babysitter Girl!"

"Hello, Stupendous Man," she sneered. "I'm going to count to three, and then I expect you to get into bed."

The superhero blinked, momentarily thrown by the strange threat. "I… Er… Can you clarify…?"

"Without dessert!" she snapped.

"Oh, that's better. MONSTROUS FIEND!"

She bent over and glared at him. "One…"

"Zounds! She's using her hypnotic babysitter vision! I… I must resist! She's… so strong!"

"Two…"

"I must use my STUPENDOUS powers of resistence! I must fight… I must fight!"

"THREE!"

"And like a bullet, I am off!"

And Stupendous Man took to the sky as fast as he could.

"THAT DOES IT!" Babysitter Girl roared. "BED TIME FOR BONZO!"

She pressed a button on her wristwatch, and two small jet engines sprouted from her back. They ignited and took to the sky as well, giving chase to the red-clad superhero.

Stupendous Man flew over the city, looking back over his shoulder to see how fast she was coming. He felt a moment of panic when he realized how quickly she was closing the gap between them. He leveled out and looked around, trying to find something he could use to defeat her.

Finally, his stupendous vision picked out a blue mailbox on the street. Acting quickly, he went into a nosedive, heading straight downwards.

Babysitter Girl followed in suit. "It's time for you to go to bed! No dessert! No TV! NO TOMORROW!"

Unfazed by her threats, Stupendous Man slowed and came to a stop, standing on top of the mailbox.

Babysitter Girl held her arms, ready to grab him.

At the last second, Stupendous Man made an unannounced stupendous leap into the air, and Babysitter Girl collided with the mailbox, sending letters all over the street. Her jets were broken, and they shut down instantly.

Stupendous Man landed on the sidewalk. "Take that," he announced triumphantly. "It's against the law to destroy a mailbox!"

But Babysitter Girl suddenly whipped out a gun and aimed it at the hero, pulling the trigger before he had a chance to react.

There was a blinding flash, and before he knew it, Stupendous Man was trapped inside a baby's crib that was made of stainless steel and lined with barbed wire, and he wrapped up in a blanket so tightly that he couldn't get his arms free.

Getting to her feet shakily, Babysitter Girl chuckled to herself. "Hush, little baby, don't say a word," she whispered. "Time for you to hush-a-bye permanently."

"You evil fiend!" Stupendous Man yelled pointlessly.

Babysitter Girl responded by taking out a bomb and pressing a button on it, and it started ticking. She put it in the crib with him and proceeded to kick the death-crib down the sidewalk, along which it picked up speed and zoomed downhill.

Stupendous Man ignored her evil laughter and focused on getting one of his arms free, but he was wrapped up so lovingly and snugly that, despite being toasty warm, he couldn't budge an inch. He managed to roll over, however, and he got a glimpse at the bomb's timer, and he found he only had one minute before it blew up.

"Hmmmm…," he murmured. "This is a real job for Stupendous Man!"

However, his adventure was interrupted when he saw the spaceships suddenly zoom in overhead. He could only stare in wonderment as it flew in over him, slowing enough that it could follow him.

An instant later, a green beam came down from the bigger spaceship and landed in his crib. There was a flash, and Stupendous Man found himself with a passenger: a tiger.

Hobbes took a moment reorient himself, and then he extended his claws and released a single swipe over Stupendous Man's blanket, tearing it to shreds and freeing the superhero.

With no time left to say "thank you", Stupendous Man snatched up the bomb and flew away from the crib and the spaceships, and he flew through over the city and threw the bomb as hard as he could, glancing at the time again and finding he still had five seconds to spare.

Five… Four… Three… Two… One…

The loudest "kaboom" anyone had ever heard erupted over the city, shaking the town, but otherwise harming nothing and no one.

Meanwhile, the crib continued on its way until it veered off course and struck a fire hydrant, causing the back end to shoot upwards and send Hobbes flying through the air. Fortunately for him, Stupendous Man was not one to be distract by loud noises and pretty colors, and he had already turned back to rescue him, and he caught him in his arms.

"Gee, thanks, Stupendous Man," Hobbes said flatly.

"Thank you, citizen!" the superhero replied.

"I'm not a citizen. I'm a tiger."

"I know, Hobbes. It's just the sort of thing superheroes say."

They touched down on the pavement just in time for Evil Mom Lady, Dastardly Dad and Babysitter Girl to come running up, all pointing their guns at them.

"All right, Stupendous Man!" Evil Mom Lady shouted. "You think you've won, but you're about to clean your room!"

"And then we'll have a long talk about responsibility!" Dastardly Dad added menacingly.

"And then, you are so sleeping in the garage tonight!" Babysitter Girl finished.

But just as they were about to fire, another green beam came down on them, and they were stuck where they were.

"Hey!" Evil Mom Lady shrieked. "What's this?"

"Our weapons don't work in here!" Dastardly Dad snarled.

There was a flash, and Calvin and Spiff materialized next to Hobbes and Stupendous Man.

"That's Galaxoid and Nebular," Calvin supplied. "They've nullified your weapons with their beam. Not to worry – they'll work again as soon as we leave."

Stupendous Man turned to look at his two doppelgangers in appreciation. "Thanks for the backup, guys," he said gratefully. "Even a superhero needs backup."

"Pleased to meet me again," Calvin said, shaking his hand.

"Red spandex?" Spiff asked doubtfully.

"Blue spandex?" Stupendous Man replied.

"Touché."

"You have no idea how alarming this is," Hobbes murmured, taking in the sight of a third Calvin.

"How is this possible?" Babysitter Girl murmured. "There are three Stupendous Men."

"And one of them very closely resembles millionaire jet-setting playboy, Calvin!" Evil Mom Lady added incredulously.

"Say…," Dastardly Dad said slowly, "you don't think that…?"

"Oh, knock it off!" Stupendous Man snapped.

Calvin looked at the three villains with a twinge of regret. "Mom? Dad?" he asked, walking up to them.

"What are you looking at?" Evil Mom Lady snapped irritably.

"Look, I know you don't remember, but before this whole thing started, you guys were my biological parents," Calvin continued, not sure why he was saying this, but he felt compelled to anyway. "It's my fault you've been turned into evil super villains, and you don't remember me, but I'm going to fix it. I know the real you two are in there somewhere, and I'm telling you, I'm going to fix it. Trust me."

The two super villains stared at him, looking strangely affected by his words.

"Calvin, we need to go," Spiff said quietly. "We still have one more to pick up."

Calvin nodded. "I'll see you guys later," he said to his imaginated parents. "I promise."

And with that, he turned back to his friends, and they all disappeared in a flash.

The green beam was dropped, and the two spaceships flew away into the night.

The three villains just stared at the sky.

Finally, Evil Mom Lady spoke up. "… He's a good kid," she murmured.

After another moment, Dastardly Dad nodded. "… Yeah, he is."


Author's Note: This is literally the very beginning, so Andy, Sherman, Socrates, the MTM, Dr Brainstorm, Jack, etc haven't happened yet. Are we clear on that? Yes? Good. Moving on...