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Chapter 9
The two ended up crashing on the couch that night and, surprisingly, it was uneventful. Emma was too exhausted to have nightmares and Olivia thought that as a hidden blessing. Not that she was happy for what had happened, but she knew she couldn't handle much more so soon.
Olivia woke up to her phone ringing and carefully removed herself from under Emma, tucking her back in under the blanket. She went to the kitchen and answered as she started making coffee.
"Benson."
"Olivia? This is Carol Martin. I'm Emma's newly assigned social worker."
"Oh. Good morning. How can I help you."
"Good morning. We got a request for your adoption. To be honest, I'm new here in this district and when I was assigned this case, I can't tell you how frustrated it made me. I'm so happy she has found someone who cares for her and will give her a safe home. I've already checked your references and background and, if it's okay with you, I'd like to move this along as fast as possible. Emma deserves it."
Olivia let out a relieved sigh. She knew these things could take months, even years, and she wanted to be able to start her life with Emma as soon as she could. "I really appreciate that. I would stay her foster placement anyway, but I really think that this adoption is what Emma needs to show her she has a home for good. To assure her she is not going anywhere."
"I can imagine. I'm sure she's scared to be taken away. If it's okay with you, I'd like to do a home visit today. Boss wants us to get at least three in and we have to space them out by 7 days each. I'd like to start today so that in three weeks, I can give my okay for this to go through. Please understand, it's not that I don't want to have Emma as my client, it's really that I want her to have a home. The girl has been through...well more than I've ever seen before."
As much as Olivia agreed and wanted this done, she did sort of wonder how Emma would be today. "I'd like that too. I think you should know, though, we had a bit of a rough day yesterday." She explained to Carol what had happened as she poured her coffee.
"I see. Olivia, we don't expect things to be perfect. Especially with kids like Emma. Kids who will have a harder time adjusting. Today will mostly just be to meet you and Emma and just a little observation. However, if you think it's best we wait, I understand."
Olivia bit her lip. "No...no it's okay. She's still sleeping though. Can you give me a couple hours?"
"Yes, of course. I'll be by around 11."
"Thank you."
Olivia hung up the phone and went to the bathroom to freshen up. She then started breakfast and not too much later, Emma came into the kitchen, rubbing her eye.
"Morning, mama." She said sleepily as she sat at the table.
"Morning, Princess. Eggs or pancakes today?"
"Mmm pancakes please. And apple juice."
Olivia made some pancakes and added the bacon she already made and gave Emma her plate and juice. She made herself some eggs and sat down. "Baby? I talked to your new social worker this morning."
Emma stopped eating and put her fork down with a sigh. "I knew it. It's my own fault for being naughty yesterday. I'll go start packing."
Olivia was confused and shook her head. "Packing? What for?"
Emma shrugged as if it was obvious. "You're sending me back."
"What? No. No of course I'm not sending you back, honey." Olivia put her hand over Emma's. "Remember when I said I wanted to adopt you and I said I filled out the papers?"
"Yeah."
"Well do you remember what I said had to happen before I could adopt you?"
Emma thought a bit and shook her head.
"Your social worker has to come out and visit. She has to make sure that this is what you want and that you are happy here. She's just going to come and say hi and just make sure I'm being good to you."
Emma's body relaxed as she realized she wasn't going away. She smiled and ate more of her breakfast. "Oh. Well good. Because I am happy here."
Olivia tried to smile, but she hated how Emma not only assumed she was being sent away, but blamed herself for it. Time. They both had to remember that all this would take time.
After they ate, Olivia had Emma get dressed as she cleaned up the kitchen and living room. Emma put on her favorite shirt and jeans and asked Olivia to do her hair. As she did, she noticed the scratches on Emma's arms from the day before. "Honey, we need to put some of that cream on your arms."
Emma sighed but went and got the cream and let Olivia put it on. Olivia was gentle as she rubbed it in. She wanted to talk to her about self harm, but didn't want to start any deep conversations only to be interrupted by the social worker. Olivia got out some art stuff that she had bought the day before and Emma sat at the table and finger painted.
There was a knock on the door and Olivia answered. "You must be Carol. Come in."
"Hello. It's nice to meet you." The woman was young, but very kind looking. A bit shorter than Olivia with long light brown hair. "You must be Emma. Oh my, I didn't know you were an artist."
Emma giggled a little. "I'm no artist. I just like getting messy."
Carol smiled and sat at the table. The two talked a bit about things Emma liked to do and Emma really seemed to be comfortable with her. After a bit, Olivia showed her around the apartment as Carol took notes. Carol then said her goodbyes to Emma and Olivia walked her to the door.
"The place is perfect. Her room is fantastic and everything is up to code. She seems happy. More relaxed than I expected. That's a good sign for you. I don't want to get personal but...how are you doing? I mean no offense, but you look exhausted. You have to remember to take care of yourself too."
Olivia let out a sigh. "Honestly, yesterday was rough. I felt like things were doing so well and then that happened. I try my hardest, Carol, but I don't know how to handle a five year old self harming. Banging her head on the desk, scratching herself. It breaks my heart."
"What did you do?"
"I pulled her from under the desk and just held her. I didn't let her go. I didn't want to let her go."
Carol put her hand on Olivia's arm. "That was exactly the right thing to do. It's hard, Olivia. It's not just hard for the child, but it's hard for the parents. Especailly so when there's only one. I'm not saying you're not up for it, but you don't have someone to take over when you need a breather. Is there anyone we can put on the list of approved friends or family for if you need a night off? Of course you have Ms. Tracy for daycare, that's all been approved and you have the option of respite, but if you have someone who may watch her from time to time, we should get them on the list. That way, if you need a break, you don't have to wait for us to find someone."
Olivia nodded. "Yes. I've added Amanda Rollins to the list and Nick Amaro. Most likely, it will be Amanda or Ms. Tracy watching her, but in an emergency, Nick will be here too."
Carol looked in her file. "Right. I'm sorry, yes. I see they were approved just this morning. Use them. Olivia, you're amazing, but you're human. You need breaks too, in order to be here for Emma."
"I will. Just hearing you say that I did the right thing though, that helps a lot. Thank you."
Carol smiled and handed Olivia her card. "I'll call next week and set up the next visit. It may be longer as there are notes I have to take."
"Of course. That's not a problem. Have a good day."
"You too."
Carol left and Olivia closed the door. She cleaned Emma up and made some sandwiches. As they were eating, she smiled at Emma. "I think we're going to have fun today. Have you ever been to an arcade?"
Emma shook her head. "No. What is it?"
"It's a big room filled with games. There's a big one just outside the city and it has games and go-karts and bumper cars. Let's see if Amanda can join us, hmm?"
Emma's whole face lit up. "Yes! If she can't though, it's okay."
Olivia called Amanda and even though the blonde had work, she decided to take the afternoon off. The three of them were in the car and heading out in less than an hour. Emma was so excited, the day before was all but forgotten.
Once there, Emma was in awe over all the lights and sounds. Olivia bought some cards that gave them unlimited play and Emma was having the time of her life. She played so many games and won so many tickets. Amanda was a pro at skiball and added her tickets to Emma's. Then Olivia took Emma to the go-karts. She'd have to ride as she was too small to drive and with Amanda's condition, she was perfectly happy to watch.
Olivia hadn't let herself have so much fun in a long time and was enjoying it as much as the girl was. Emma waived to Amanda as they came around the corner and was all smiles as they won the race.
"There's the winners!" Amanda greeted the two with cotton candy. "I had no idea Olivia was a racer!"
Emma giggled and took some cotton candy. "Olivia...I mean mommy is so cool! Amanda, why didn't you come too?"
Amanda looked at Olivia who nodded and they walked to a table. "Well, because you see, I have a baby in my tummy. I don't wan't to hurt it."
Emma was confused at this. "Why in the world did you eat a baby?!"
Both women laughed, which made Emma more confused. "No honey, I didn't eat one. It's growing in my tummy."
"Oh. Okay." She still didn't fully understand, but she accepted. "I'm really glad you came with us. This was the best day of my life!"
Olivia smiled and kissed Emma's forehead. "I'm really glad. It was the best day of my life too. Now, lets go get some food and then see what prize we can get with your tickets."
Hot dogs and french fries were enjoyed by all before they cashed in all the tickets for a giant teddy bear, a princess crown, and a sucker, and then they headed back to the car. They weren't driving for five minutes before Emma was out in the back seat.
Amanda smiled at Olivia. "Thank you for inviting me. It was so great to see both of you so happy. Especially after yesterday."
"I'm really glad you came. I know you probably had work to do, but I'm still glad you came."
"It's okay. Oh. I wanted to tell you, but I wanted to make sure Emma didn't hear." She looked back to make sure the girl was still sleeping. "Alex had me look into Jane. Turns out, Emma's not the first she hurt. Jane shouldn't have even had Emma, but the foster system apparently forgot to update their records. She's hurt others and even did time in jail for it."
Olivia shook her head. "Why do they think it's okay to make mistakes like that? It's not okay. It's not okay to just play with kids's lives."
"No, it's not and it's turning into a pretty big investigation. Emma may have lead us to quite a break through in the way the system works. That being said, Alex has no reason to think Emma will have to be in court. Of course, she can't say for certain, but it seems pretty cut and dry."
"Good. I hope this helps her start to move on. Thank you for all the work you're doing with this."
Olivia pulled into the station to drop Amanda off and looked around. It was dark and she felt safe so she leaned over and gave Amanda a soft kiss. Amanda smiled and kissed her back before biting her lip. "I should go. Call me...you know, if you want."
"Okay. Have a good night."
Olivia carried Emma and her prizes up to the apartment and locked the door. The girl didn't even wake up. She got her pajamas out and made sure to put cream on Emma's legs, arm and back. Her scars were healing quite well, and Olivia was happy to see that. She then dressed her and tucked her in, kissing her cheek. Through all that, Emma stayed asleep. "I love you, Princess."
Olivia then went and showered before getting into her own bed. Her phone rang and she smiled thinking it was Amanda. However, it wasn't. It was Nick.
"Hey Liv. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for yesterday. We thought you had left, or I swear, she woudn't have been out there."
Olivia sighed. "I know. It's okay. She seems to be getting over it."
"Yeah, Rollins told me you guys had quite the evening. Sounds like fun was had by all."
"It was. It was a good day. I hope to have many more like it."
"Good. Hey, I know this may not be my place, but I was wondering if I could come over Sunday and see if I can get her to open up to me? Maybe we can go to the park. It's just...I'm kind of jealous that you and Amanda get to have so much fun and I'm missing out."
Olivia smiled. She knew Nick was missing his own daughter, and quite honestly, it was probably good for Emma to have a positive male figure in her life. Show her that not all men are bad. "Sure. That sounds like fun. Say about noon in Central Park?"
"Perfect. Meet you by the entrance."
"Sounds great. Thanks for calling, Nick. Good night."
"Night, Liv."
With that, Olivia turned her light off and fell asleep. She was joined a few hours later by a little girl, but she didn't care. She just cuddled her and the two had another peaceful night.
