Gibbs felt conflicting emotions speed through him as he sat and stared at his second in command. Hearing the kid's version of the conversation that he and Stan had had shone an explanatory light on his strange behaviour. The attitude, the sniping. It was jealousy. And it was understandable, even to someone who suffered from chronic emotional constipation. Tony devilled with insecurity as it was due to his…father, and what he thought he had overheard was like a red rag to a bull. But at the same time, he had walked out on active duty. Something he knew to be a top of the line no-no. Something he knew was an insult to the job and a slap in the face to the team. He was already calm about the lying and the attitude, but that was something he could not let go. Sighing, he scrubbed a hand across his eyes and thought rapidly.

"Do you know what I'm angriest about?"

Sitting back in the couch and away from the belt involuntarily, Tony worried his lower lip. He knew the answer because it sat like a pouch of guilt in his gut. He had walked out on an active investigation. He, as the second in command, was utterly AWOL because he had hurt feelings. The more and more he thought about that very series of action and reaction, the more and more ashamed he felt. He stared down at the ground as he ran a harried hand through his hair. "I walked off the job," he mumbled sluggishly, "I was AWOL."

Gibbs shook his head. Not good enough.

"Eyes up and look at me when I'm speaking to you and speak properly."

Swallowing thickly, Tony did as he was bid. He should have known such a flat answer wasn't going to suffice. The look that Gibbs was giving him wasn't helping the situation either. It was an understanding look, a much too understanding look. They considered each other for a moment in silence as the younger of the duo thought quickly. "I was jealous," he admitted softly. Really, what was the point in denying it? "I got caught up in my head and thought things that weren't there, were there. So I took off. I'm not proud of it. But I couldn't look at you when you'd found out about Ray and the investigation. I thought you'd think I was…."

Gibbs stared much too gently at him. It was downright disconcerting.

"You thought I'd think you were what, Tony? C'mon, spit it out. It's just you and me here."

A fiery flush coloured the second in command's cheeks but he parted his lips slowly.

"A whackadoo."

Gibbs stared for the longest moment before letting out a snort that sent his deepest nasal hairs dancing in the wind. Staring at the incredulous looking Tony, he couldn't suppress the chuckle that pushed through his teeth. It was just so DiNozzo. Shaking his head as he sobered up, he smartly reached out and rapped the unsuspecting kid upside the head. Over the squawk, he cleared his throat. "I'm never gonna think you're a whackadoo Tony. For Christ's sakes, if I were to come that opinion I would have done so a long, long time ago. I get it, alright? I'm not as robotic as you all think. You were threatened by Stan and maybe I should have seen that and acted on it. But I just didn't. I didn't even think to look for it."

Something in his gut sensed that Tony needed to hear the words.

To actually hear the goddamned words that he thought were so obvious, but were clearly not.

Embarrassment clung to him with intensity but he did his very best to push and claw through it.

"There's no choice between you and Stan. There never will be. It's always gonna be you son."

The air froze in Tony's lungs as the words he was sure he'd heard trundled down his eardrums. Gibbs. Gibbs had just issued an emotional statement, designed to reassure. He discreetly pinched himself. It hurt, he wasn't dreaming. He didn't see the blue eyes toss up to heaven at his secretive nipping, he was far too consumed. Gibbs had said it, straight up. That he would pick him over Stan. An almost disgustingly happy dance began to rear in his gut. He wasn't hallucinating. This was real. All his worries, anxieties seemed suddenly so very foolish. Gibbs didn't mince his words. If he told him that he'd choose him, then he'd choose him. Slowly lifting a sheepish gaze to meet his boss', he grinned lopsidedly.

"Should we paint each other's toes now? Braid our hair?"

The smack cracked through the room.

Tony rubbed furiously at his head.

"I'll take that as a no then."

Gibbs snorted, secretly glad the kid's sense of humour had served to rescue him from those terrifying…feelings. Suddenly, now that he had said what needed to be said, the belt resting in his hands seemed to weigh an ominous weight. He saw Tony's eyes flicker to it and flinch and felt sadness in his soul. Given everything…should he go ahead and do what he had partially came here to do? Tony's behaviour was abysmal, sure. He'd lied, skirted and downright flouted his authority. Not to mention disgracing his badge. But he was operating under false assumptions and even falser information. Could he write one off against the other? Would it be right? Or would it just be easy. An unusual battle warred within him. He always hated, despised and downright loathed bringing any of the four back in line. But he always knew in his heart that it was the right thing to do. This time…this time, he just wasn't sure.

"Boss?"

The confused voice broke through the much longer than known reverie.

"Tony?"

The younger man blinked and threw his eyes down to the silently pressing belt. "Uhh…aren't you gonna use that now? It's just…I know I can't complain or anything…but the whole waiting part is pretty torturous. I'd rather just…get it out of the way. Not that I'm telling you what to do or anything," he added hastily, "Cos I'm not. Just…wondering, is all."

Gibbs smiled despite himself about the completely nonsensical sensible gibberish.

"I don't know, Tony," he answered with a soft honestly. "I don't know if I'm going to use it or not."

Nonplussed silence ensued.

"Huh?"

"I don't know," Gibbs repeated quietly. "Usually, you walk off the job in a huff and I'll skin you alive. But this is different. You thought you heard something you didn't, but that didn't make it any less real to you in that moment. Yeah, you lied to me. Yeah, you didn't show respect to the badge…but you're human. Sometimes I forget that. So…I don't know. I don't know if I should deal with this in the way I thought I was going to." He looked at the shocked kid. "What do you think? Be honest with me. And be honest with yourself."

Tony's brow contracted in confused concentration.

Did he walk of the job? Yes. Did he feel guilty? Yes. But…he had been in a pretty dark place. He felt as though his part in the only word he knew was being taken from him. He thought, wrongly, that Gibbs not only knew that but was an active participant in it. His head had been all over the place. Did that excuse what he'd done? No. But did he feel guilty in the same way he usually did when he messed up? No. His eyes screwed shut in concentration as a conflicting chasm of emotion jabbed at him. He didn't know the answer, he didn't even know if there was an answer. He looked at Gibbs with that confusion in his eyes and implored the man to sense what he was feeling, because there was no way he could verbalise it.

Gibbs raised a brow.

"Yeah. It's a tough one ain't it?"

Tony nodded mutely.

Silence lapped the two of them for a moment more, but then it was broken as Gibbs suddenly stood. Tony watched, mouth agape, as he easily threaded his belt back through his pant loops. Looking down at his second in command, the older man's face was unreadable. "Stand," he instructed quietly. Swallowing nervously, Tony did as he was told and got slowly to his feet so that he was nose to nose with his boss. Gibbs studied him quietly for a moment. "Are you ever going to do something like this again? Let me be clear about that. Are you ever… going to lie through your teeth to me, not trust me and run off in the middle of an active investigation again?"

Tony shook his head furiously.

"No, Boss…I won't."

Two grey brows were raised.

"I have your word?"

"My word."

Gibbs considered that carefully. He saw the truth in the kid's eyes and he also saw the regret. The regret that would be enough to prevent any repeat performances of what landed him in his apartment in the first place. Reaching out, he rapped Tony upside the head and grasped his shoulder none too gently. "Alright then. I'll hold you to that. But make no mistake…you go back on your word, you pull any shit even remotely like this again…and you and I are going to have serious problems. And I mean that Tony, I really do. Are you understanding me here?"

The younger man gulped.

"I'm understanding you."

Gibbs chewed on that for a moment before nodding jerkily.

"Then you owe me three weekends of unpaid overtime to make up and make good on the time you missed today and then we move on forget about this mess. Is that clear?"

Tony gaped.

"Seriously?"

The disbelief of his own good luck was incredibly endearing in that moment and Gibbs smiled slightly. It was impossible to resist Tony at times. It was all part of his infuriating charm.

"Seriously."

The bright grin was reward enough and even though he rolled his eyes at it, Gibbs was secretly relieved as all hell to see it. Despite himself, he reached out and uncharacteristically pulled the kid into a quick one armed hug. Releasing him, he schooled his face into a stern mask once more. "Next time, you come to me. You come to me and avoid all this mess. Alright?"

Tony seemed almost sleepy with relief and peacefulness as he nodded.

"Alright."

Nodding simply, Gibbs' message of goodnight was clear. As Tony threw himself back on the sofa, marvelling on how the day had panned out, the elder man made it to and paused at the door. Pulling it open with that squeak that always drove him mad, he loitered in the hallway for a moment. Maybe he was getting old, and stupid. Maybe he was tired, and vulnerable. Or maybe he just wasn't as emotionally stoic as he liked to think he was. Whatever it was, it made him need to reiterate a point he shouldn't be so secretive about. He cleared his throat and spoke to the hallway at large.

"Remember what I said. About you and Stan. It's not a choice, it's never been a choice. Never will be."

With that, he was gone, shutting the door softly behind him.

Tony slumped back on the sofa cushion with an impossibly wide smile plastered across his face.

It's not a choice….it's never been a choice….never will be

The smile grew even bigger. He was sitting pretty on a reassurance he had so desperately craved. And he was sitting comfortably. When he wasn't expecting to retain the ability to sit comfortably. For a long time.

He shook his head in amazement.

It was a good god damn night.

Little did he know, that across town, his downfall was being meticulously crafted. Phase one being under serious, concentrated consideration.

It wasn't a good god damn night.

It wasn't a good damn night at all.

A/N: TBC