Chapter 8: All is Not What is Seen
"That," Hermione said, sliding her finger down the page of a particularly thick tome until she reached the correct passage, "Is definitely a Nargle."
"Is it...dead?" House asked, scrunching his eyebrows and looking at it apprehensively.
"No idea, "Hermione replied, shrugging.
"I think that what the good doctor means," Snape said, bending slightly over from behind Hermione's right shoulder to look at the passage she had indicated, "Is that it may be a good idea to...contain the creature."
"Oh! Yes! Absolutely!" Hermione blustered, jumping to the side with a flustered look, summoning a jar from one of the cabinets with her wand and indicating for House to drop the small, fuzzy thing inside, "I'll put air holes in the top just in case. Wouldn't want to be cruel."
"Oh great, another bleeding heart. Though apparently, this sentiment does not apply to human beings," House replied pointedly, "Not that I want you bleeding all over me, figuratively or literally."
"One might call into question your status as a human being, then," Snape replied dryly as Hermione stared daggers at House and set the jar on the work table to her left with a small thunk.
"You I'm not talking to unless I have to, Doctor House," Hermione huffed irritably, "If you have enough time to act like a menace, you might consider instead spending it looking for your sense of tact as it seems to have gone missing."
"That's what she said!" House quipped sarcastically, "No really, that's pretty much what my team says every day and at least one of them is a woman, well she has cute breasts at least. But it's what makes me great. So, no, I will not be reigning myself in just because you get uncomfortable when people start talking about sex, drugs and rock'n'roll."
"You do know that she's a witch in training to get her Mastery in Potions so that she can be promoted within the Office of Magical Law Enforcement, correct?" Snape said humorlessly, "She's not some kind of muggle groupie."
"Potions groupie, band groupie! Same difference!" House snapped, before he seemed to catch himself and lowered his voice to a wry muttering growl, "Sorry, I get annoyed easily when I don't have my white board. You wouldn't happen to have one, do you?"
"A...what?" Hermione asked, despite the sour look on her face when she realized that she had indeed gone back on her word not to speak to the infuriating man.
"A white-oh never mind!" House said exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I saw a chalk board earlier. In the room, you know, where everyone was eating. I wouldn't suppose one of you could use magic for something actually useful for once and put one in here?"
Snape crossed his arms and shot House a warning look from behind Hermione, who was still looking mostly confused, her nose wrinkling slightly in what seemed to House an unfairly endearing fashion.
House grumbled and huffed for a moment rolling his eyes theatrically before he finally turned back to Hermione and stuck out his lip in a mock pout.
"Pretty, pretty please may I have my blackboard? I promise to write on it so I can do my diagnosis and everything!" he whined.
"Fine," Hermione said shortly, narrowing her eyes as she raised her wand, "But no more trying to get a rise out of me, ok? What has been given can just as easily be taken away again."
Snape made a noise that sounded a little like clearing his throat and a lot like a snort of laughter.
"Oh stop laughing at me, Lurch!" House snapped, his face falling when he was faced with two blank stares, "Oh god, none of you have ever seen The Addams Family. You probably don't even know what television is!"
"I do too know about the telly," Hermione said primly, "I just don't make a point of watching American television."
"You really should," House replied with a wicked grin, "It's amazing. Especially the bikini mud wrestling."
"Not interested," Hermione said, turning up her nose and waving her wand silently.
House watched her with interest as the air shimmered and her wand produced a glittering golden light.
Interesting. Sometimes there are magic words. Sometimes there aren't. And yet...
A small blackboard on a wooden tripod appeared in the corner of the room, making a small tapping noise as they touched down softly on the stone floor and House pulled one of the floating globes of light with one hand so that it shone dully on the black surface. A long piece of chalk sat on the inner frame of the board and House picked it up, turning to the other two.
"So," he said, "Isn't anyone the least bit afraid that I'm going to scratch my fingernails down this baby?"
Snape graced him with a bemused smirk.
"Only if you would like to make your own eardrums bleed," he said darkly, "Both of us know exactly how to block out...undesirable noises…"
"You two are no fun," House said abruptly, and turned to the blackboard to write.
"Now that Minerva's clothing has been sorted out, I'm going to head to the Owlery and send an owl to Luna. I," Hermione said, turning to look up at Snape with a searching look, "Do you need me...for anything else?"
His dark eyes seemed to linger on hers a moment longer than was comfortable before uttering a soft, "No."
"Well then, I'm off," she turned on her heel and nodded curtly in House's direction.
"Oh, come on!" House said sharply to the somber professor, gesturing towards Hermione's retreating emerald robes emphatically and scoffing as the other man turned toward the shadowy wall as though pointedly ignoring him.
"Wait," Snape said through gritted teeth, and Hermione paused in the doorway.
It was as though time stood still for a moment as everyone stayed in their respective places, Hermione with her head turned slightly as though listening for more, Snape in profile with his eyes in shadow and House looking at both of them as though they were the largest morons he had ever seen.
Finally, when it seemed that the moment would stretch on forever, House dropped the thick leather bound book he'd been holding and it made such a heavy thud as it hit the floor that Hermione jumped almost a foot in the air in surprise.
"I...shall accompany you," Snape said quietly, shooting a blood curdling look at House before turning back to Hermione and adding, "If that is agreeable to you."
Hermione nodded vigorously in reply.
"Very well," Snape replied evenly, switching to a deadpan voice as he addressed House, "Do not leave this room. I will set a ward at the door to dissuade you from...wandering… The castle is no place for a wandless muggle. You could become...damaged."
"Hurry back soon!" House said sardonically, "Or not! Just take the kissy faces elsewhere. It's distracting."
Hermione huffed and clenched her fists before she strode out of sight with Snape following her like a tall, silent and intimidating shadow.
"Now then," House said, turning back to the two still forms behind him and rubbing the chalk between both of his palms, "Where were we?"
