And Then There Were Two

Chapter Nine

Hope, by definition, is a 'desire accompanied by belief in fulfillment'. Hope is the stuff that keeps you hanging on, that convinces you good things are to come. Essentially, hope is the very thing that can get you out of bed in the morning or put a smile on your face even when every other day has turned out to be something other than what you expected. We, as people, we hope. We hope that the dreams we have will come true and that the sadness we fear won't. We hope that we're going to have it all. We hope that the people we love will be here to see it. Hope is one of those things that can pop up any time. It doesn't need an invitation, or a specific circumstance. We create hope, within us. That's why it's so easy to kill, and also why it's so easy to grow. Hope is the thing that living is made of.

"I'm nervous," Meredith shifted a bit on the exam table, turning her head so she could look over at Derek as she held onto his hand.

"Everything's going to be perfect, Mer."

"What if it isn't? What if we find out that something..."

Derek shook his head, "We're not going to. I don't want you worrying about that, okay? This is going to be good news."

"Okay."

After three weeks of bedrest, Meredith needed some good news. It had been pretty easy, at first, to avoid getting up. As time went on though, she found it completely frustrating that she wasn't allowed to do anything. There were only so many television shows and movies you could watch before you felt like you were going insane. It had helped to have Derek there taking care of her, but she knew that would end soon. At some point he had to get back to his job. He needed to start running his surgery department again. It did pose a problem there, as far as figuring out how she was going to take care of herself and stay in bed all day, but it was one that Derek insisted she not worry about.

"You look a lot better than the last time I saw you," Addison had a cheerful smile on her face when she walked into the room, putting down the stack of papers in her arms.

"Could have something to do with the fact that I'm not drugged up and scared out of my mind," Meredith smiled a bit. She was scared, really scared, but she tried not to think about it.

"I think that probably helps," Addison pulled a chair over, positioning herself so that she was next to the bed and the ultrasound machine. "How have you been feeling?"

"Pretty good, for the most part. I haven't been getting sick as often, so that's a plus."

Addison nodded, "This is usually the time that most women notice their morning sickness sort of just disappears. There's always a chance you could still deal with some of it, but I hope not." She glanced over to Derek, surprised at how quiet he was being. "Are you back at work, or are you still able to stay home and help her out some?"

"My plan is to go back to work tomorrow." Derek hated the thought of leaving Meredith home all day, but he knew at this point he didn't have a choice. It was time for him to get back in the hospital, and he hoped to hear that she could follow soon.

"Do you have anyone that can stay at the house and help you out?" Addison wasn't surprised that he was going back to work, but she wanted to be sure that her patient was going to be taken care of.

"I think we were hoping that maybe I wouldn't have to be home much longer," Meredith glanced over to Derek for clarification.

Derek nodded, "If you want her to stay on bedrest, though," He squeezed Meredith's hand a bit then turned his attention to Addison, "I was thinking of having my mom come down and stay for a while."

Addison nodded, happy that they had at least discussed what their plan was going to be. "I can't really say for sure what my recommendation will be until after we do this ultrasound and I examine you. My guess would be, though, that you may end up in bed until you deliver."

Meredith said nothing. The shock of Addison's words left her unable to even sort through her thoughts. Did she have any idea how long that was? Her due date was another 25 weeks away. She wasn't sure she could do that. It just seemed like too much, way too much.

Derek sighed. He knew better than to say anything, though. There was no use arguing with Addison, especially considering that she knew best. If she thought Meredith needed to be in bed in order to keep their baby healthy, he wasn't going to object. Still, he knew it upset his wife, and he gently brushed his thumb across her hand.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, though, okay?" Addison noticed the look on Meredith's face, and tried to give her a bit of reassurance. "Right now I want to take a look at your baby." She smiled.

Meredith managed to force a small smile to her face as she slid her shirt up, sort of tucking it underneath her bra so it wasn't in the way.

"If you can unbutton your pants and sort of wiggle them down just a tad, that would be great too," Addison picked up the wand of the ultrasound machine.

"Okay," Meredith did as she asked, scrunching up her face a bit at how cold the gel was on her bare stomach. Her expression instantly changed though, when she saw the image of her baby on the screen.

There was only a split second for Meredith and Derek to stare at the screen in awe, though, because Addison almost instantly turned it a bit so it was facing her. Then there was silence, silence that seemed like it lasted years as the red-headed doctor studied the screen carefully.

"Addison?" Derek frowned, glancing at Meredith. He noticed right away the look of fear in her eyes. She was scared. He didn't want her to be scared. This was supposed to be a happy time.

"Is something wrong? Meredith found her voice after a moment.

"Mer." He tried to soothe her, and himself.

Addison glanced over to them both, suddenly realizing just how easily freaked out they both were. It was understandable, though, after all they had been through. "Sorry. I was just trying to get a better look at what's going on," She smiled, quickly easing their fear. "Here, I'll let you have a look." In an instant, she had the screen turned back toward them. "Nothing's wrong. I was just having trouble seeing from this angle."

Derek felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest, though he half glared at his ex-wife. "Next time you should warn us."

Meredith quickly wiped away a tear that had managed to slide down her cheek despite her desperate attempt to hold them back. "So it's okay then? The baby is okay?"

"The baby is great," Addison smiled at her sympathetically, glancing at Derek. She knew there was no use apologizing. He was already upset. He was protective, overprotective, of his wife and that baby.

"Don't cry, Mer." Derek reached over and wiped another tear away for her before running his hand gently over her hair. "It's okay. Everything's okay." He sighed, wishing more than anything that he could strangle Addison Montgomery, even if it was just for a second. Didn't she realize what she'd done?

"I know. I'm just..." Meredith glanced over at him for a second before looking back to the screen. "You're sure that the baby is okay?"

"The baby looks perfect, Meredith." Addison assured her again, turning up the volume on the machine. A quick little woosh, woosh sound could instantly be heard.

"Is that the heartbeat?" Meredith's eyes lit up a bit, and a genuine smile spread across her face.

Addison couldn't help but smile right along with both of them, "That's it. 145 beats, which is perfect for the gestational age." She listened to it for a moment, more from a clinical viewpoint than anything else. The last thing she wanted was to miss something important. "Looks like your baby has a strong heart, which is the best we can ask for at this stage in your pregnancy, especially considering all that has gone on." She finally turned the sound off so she could focus a bit more on the rest of the scan.

"145 beats per minute." Meredith was still in awe, and she looked over to Derek who had a goofy little grin on his face. He was happy, and it caused her own heart to skip a beat. She wanted to hold onto that moment forever.

Derek leaned over and kissed her softly, keeping it brief so he could avoid any comments from Addison. "145." He repeated, whispering against Meredith's face. "This baby is going to be perfect." As far as he was concerned, there was no going back after this. They had both seen their baby, they had heard their baby's heartbeat. If something happened now, the devastation would be enough to kill him, and he knew Meredith would be shattered.

Addison took a few minutes to point out all of the cute little structures of the baby, from its head down to its feet. Her lengthy ultrasound served two purposes. It allowed her to check for any abnormalities with the baby and the pregnancy, and also allowed her to show two proud parents just how perfect their little 15-week fetus was. "Do you want to know the gender? The baby's in a perfect position for me to see." She glanced over to them as she was just about to finish up.

"We do. Right?" Meredith looked to Derek just to make sure he hadn't changed his mind.

Derek smiled and nodded, "We do."

"Oh!" Meredith quickly interrupted just as Addison was about to say something. "Lets up the wager, though." She grinned and looked back at her husband again. "If it's a boy, you do both. The dishes and the cooking. If it's a girl, I'll do both, assuming I'm allowed to."

"That hardly seems fair," Derek laughed, but agreed with her anyway. "You have yourself a deal, because you're going to lose anyway."

"Don't be so sure." Meredith turned her attention back to Addison who was simply looking at them both with an amused smile.

"Such pressure. I hate to be the one that bears the bad news of dishes and cooking," She laughed a bit, shifting the ultrasound wand just a bit before she pointed to the screen. "Luckily your baby is cooperating. A lot of them like to scrunch up into a little ball and then there's no hope. And lucky for you, this machine is awesome, and I happen to be quite good at what I do. Because you're still a little early." She paused. "But that right there, is proof that you're having a little boy."

"You're sure?" Meredith was too caught up staring at the little speck on the screen to notice that Derek was quickly wiping away tears that were falling down his cheeks.

The intense happiness that had suddenly come over him was unmistakable as a huge smile spread to his face. A boy. It was a boy. He was going to have a son. He hadn't imagined before, how it would feel. It was something beyond anything else he had ever felt before. He started to say something but instead worked on getting rid of the tears that were still falling. They were having a boy, a healthy baby boy.

"I'm positive," Addison put the wand down, wiping away what was left of the gel on Meredith's stomach. It was then that she saw Derek out of the corner of her eye. Seeing him so happy, seeing him cry like that was almost enough to bring tears to her own eyes.

"We're having a boy." Meredith smiled and looked over at Derek, actually laughing a bit when she saw that he was crying. "Don't do that. You're going to make me cry. And then my make-up will be all over the place." She reached a hand up and wiped a few tears away. It was an incredible thing, to see her husband so happy over the news of having a son.

"Sorry," Derek leaned down and kissed her, looking into her eyes for a moment as he took it all in. After all that they had been through, after all the fear that they were going to lose this baby, there was finally some good news. "Looks like we have a Grayson." He smiled.

Meredith laughed, "Looks like."

"Is that the name you picked out?" Addison got up from where she'd been sitting. "Grayson?"

"It was Derek's idea."

"I read it out of some name book she bought."

"It's a cute name." Addison smiled, handing Derek some pictures she'd printed out during the ultrasound. She spent the next few minutes asking Meredith a couple more questions and finally doing a thorough exam just to make sure things were as good as they looked.

"So, what's the verdict?" Meredith had just finished getting dressed and was pulling her shirt on when Addison came back in the room after leaving to allow her some privacy to change out of the gown.

"It looks like you've decided to behave, for now." Addison took a seat again. She'd taken a few minutes to go over all of the information she had and even to talked to another doctor before coming to a conclusion over her recommendation to Meredith.

"Does that mean I'm still stuck at home?"

"Actually, it means that I'm going to take a chance here and take you off of bedrest."

"By doing that, what are the chances that she's going to start contracting again?" Derek's question came quickly. No matter how much he wanted Meredith to be able to live her life again, he didn't want that at the expense of losing their son.

"I wouldn't take her off of bedrest if I thought it would cause her to start having contractions. Her cervix is still the same as it was when I saw her a month ago. If it had changed any, we'd be having a different conversation."

"I just don't want her to start doing things again and then end up having a miscarriage." He was still hesitant to agree that this was the best option, scared that it was going to leave them picking up the pieces of a tragic loss. For him, it was just too soon. It seemed like too much too fast, to go from having her in bed every day to having her doing what she wanted.

"Well, there are some..."

"I'm just not sure this is the best decision," Derek interrupted her again.

"Derek." Meredith frowned and looked over at him, taking his hand. "Let her finish." She knew he was worried about her, but she at least wanted a chance to hear what Addison had to say.

"I'm not one to take risks with pregnant women, Derek. You know that." Addison spoke in a bit more of a firm tone. "I'm doing what I think is in the best interest of both your wife and your son. There are some stipulations as to what she is and is not allowed to do." She assured him. "You may go back to work in a month, if I'm satisfied that you haven't had any changes to your cervix and that you aren't having any contractions. Maybe this was all just caused by the UTI and won't be an issue again, but maybe not."

Meredith made a face. It wasn't the news she wanted to hear, but it was better than being where she was up until that point, so she didn't argue.

"I want you being seen in two weeks by Dr. Hayes. He's an excellent high-risk OB-GYN, and I've filled him in on your situation. His schedule is very busy and usually he does not accept new patients except by referral, which is why you should be happy I put in a good word for you and Grayson."

She couldn't help but smile, "Thank you."

"Addison." Derek sighed. The last thing he wanted was to have Meredith's care turned over to a man he'd never met before. The shooting had changed him. Derek was a bit more cautious now, a bit more overprotective of the people he loved, and he couldn't help but have a hard time trusting.

"He's an excellent doctor." Addison assured Derek before turning her attention back to Meredith. "Two weeks, and then again in another two weeks. I'll try to make it down here when you get to twenty-three weeks, just to make sure I'm satisfied with everything." She felt a little bit of responsibility, to make sure that Meredith and this baby made it. "I want you to sort of gradually work up the amount of activity in your day. Don't start going crazy right away. Baby steps. And Dr. Hayes can make a final decision on this, but my recommendation would be that you work only about three-four days a week and make sure your hours are reasonable when you do go back."

Meredith nodded, taking in everything she said. "Thank you, for being willing to come down here and help us out. Derek and I both really appreciate it. I know you're busy, and..."

Addison cut her off, shaking her head. "We're sort of like family, I guess you should say. So you're welcome. Lets leave it at that. I know Derek would be there for me if I needed him." She stood. "And you can always call me if you need me. If you notice any problems though, call Dr. Hayes first. He's here, so he'll be able to help you out a little more than I can."

Derek followed Addison into the hallway, "Do you really think she's going to be okay off of bedrest?"

Addison put her hands on his shoulders, looking him in the eyes. "I think that you have got to stop worrying so much. You're going to send yourself into some sort of nervous breakdown. Enjoy your wife, Derek. Enjoy her being pregnant. I know she scared the crap out of you four weeks ago. She scared us all. But she's okay now, and you have to stop this. You have to take a deep breath and allow yourself to believe that you might actually get a happy ending out of this. Have a little hope."

"Thank you, for coming." He couldn't argue with what she was saying. Derek knew his ex-wife was right, even if he hated that she had to be the one to tell him something he should have known himself.

"Family. Remember?" Addison smiled and hugged him. "Take care of Meredith, and Grayson. I'll be back in a couple of months." With that, she walked away.

Derek couldn't help but have a small smile on his face when he walked back into the room where Meredith was grabbing her purse. "How about lunch? You and I? In my office. Like the good ole' days."

Meredith couldn't help but laugh a little. She was worried about him, worried about his lack of ability to calm down and believe that things were going to be alright, but she figured now wasn't the time to bring it up. He was smiling, and she didn't want to ruin that. "Lunch sounds good. But we should eat somewhere other than your office. I've been stuck in bed for forever now, and I'm going a little stir-crazy."

"We could go across the street to that little cafe next to Joes." He suggested, knowing she was right. She did need to get out some.

"That sounds perfect." Meredith took his hand, walking out of the room with him. Things were finally falling into place. It was finally looking like the dark cloud that had been hovering over them was gone. She had a smile on her face as they walked together to the car, blissfully unaware that there would come a day when their world would be turned upside down, when the strength of their love would be tested by an unimaginable tragedy.

* Revised 6/2017