Chapter Eight

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to be looking for." Alice complained later that night. We were in the Cullen library on the third floor. I'd taken advantage of the free time while Edward and Carlisle hunted together.

"Anything about coma victims and out of body experiences." I told her as I ran my fingers over the spines of the shelf I was looking at. I'd come to the conclusion that the car accident had knocked me into a coma and I was having a Life on Mars moment. Of course I'd never actually watched the show but I knew the premise.

"And why are we searching for that particular topic?" Alice enquired turning her head to look at me.

Because that's what has happened to me.

"It's a school project." I said airily not looking her in the eyes as I moved onto the next shelf.

But eight hours later we still hadn't found anything and I was beginning to lose focus. The sun was starting to rise in the window, filling the room with soft light and it was only when Alice spoke did I realise the truth of her words.

"Weren't you supposed to sleep?" She asked flipping through a book on brain disease.

The truth was I didn't feel at all tired, maybe because I was so focused and at the same time, terrified. What if I could never get back to the real world?

We both heard movement downstairs, three floors below and hurriedly put the books away.

"You think you're in a coma don't you." Alice said suddenly. It wasn't a question. She knew.

"Alice, I-" I began but the truth was I had no clue what to say. Thankfully I didn't have to since Alice smiled but not in a happy way.

"It's alright, I've known for a while, ever since you showed up actually, that you're not from around here. I am psychic you know," She smiled more brightly now, "Your future is all fuzzy and uneven, like you're here but you're not here. Now it makes more sense."

"Alice, you won't tell anyone will you? That I lied to them I mean because I didn't mean to but the lies just kept coming out and I couldn't stop."

Alice grabbed my arms to stop me completely freaking out. Her grip was tight but not uncomfortable,

"It'll be our secret. One psychic to another." She winked and suddenly I'd thrown my arms around her and was hugging her tightly sobbing into her shoulder.

Well you try being in a fictional world and see how sane you are!

"It's a good thing you don't smell." Alice said weakly as I pulled back wiping my eyes embarrassedly with my fists, "Or I might have not been able to not kill you for what you did to my blouse." I chuckled weakly as Alice fished a clean handkerchief out of Carlisle's desk and handed it to me and I dried my cheeks before moping Alice's shoulder.

"Alice what am I going to do?" I asked managing to get a lid on the hysteria that was threatening to spill over.

Alice wrapped an arm around my shoulders and crushed me against her,

"We'll think of something. We just need to…oh!" Alice's eyes went unseeing and instead of her steadying me I was steadying her as she swayed uneasily on her feet.

"I need to talk to Edward." Her words almost flowed together she was speaking so fast and without waiting for a reply from me she left hurrying down the stairs.

While Alice went to talk to Edward about her vision I showered and dressed. I was still staying in Edward's room but the bed they'd bought hadn't been slept in thanks to my all night study session with Alice. After I dressed I wandered over to the window and leaned against it, the cold calming my skin. I felt like I had the beginnings of a headache and so I pressed my forehead against the glass closing my eyes. I could hear the river in the distance but I could also hear many more things coming from the house. The sound of Esme in the kitchen preparing my breakfast, Jasper and Emmett discussing their plans for a rematch if it snowed again, Carlisle's footsteps on a piece of creaking floorboard as he got ready for work.

I could hear it all and yet I didn't feel part of it. I felt like Alice had said, that I was half in half out of the world, exactly like I'd felt back home. I ran a hand through my still damp hair and sighed, opening my eyes as my breath fogged up the window in front of me. Absentmindedly my fingers played with the silver feather hanging around my neck.

After checking my reflection in the mirror I headed downstairs to the kitchen with my school bag, dumping it beside the foot of the stairs before I entered the kitchen and sat down at the counter.

"Morning," Esme said cheerfully her usual self though there was something off about her smile, perhaps she sensed the changes in the house, the changes that would take Edward away, "Sleep well?"

I made a noncommittal sound before I pulled the bowl of cereal towards me not really hungry. I only managed a few bites but it didn't matter since Emmett called out that it was time to leave and while Esme was distracted saying goodbye to Carlisle I scrapped the almost untouched food into the bin.

The journey to school was tense. Jasper was worried about Alice, Edward was questioning himself and I was anxious about myself. Only Emmett and Rosalie were unaffected by the atmosphere too busy with each other to notice the rest of us.

Edward pulled over the Volvo a little way from school as always and I got out, thanking him. Our relationship was strange. We didn't speak often but I got the feeling he was reserving judgement of me for now. He wasn't sure about me. I didn't blame him. He couldn't verify who I was the way he usually did so he was cautious.

When I arrived at the parking lot a few minutes later I saw Alice and Edward who were waiting for Bella to arrive. Sneaking around the students I kept close to the forest managing to remain hidden from Mike, Jessica or Sam since I had yet to come with a reason for why I'd suddenly left school in the middle of the day. I was going the right way about being expelled.

All too soon I heard the high pitched squeaking of Tyler's van take the corner way too fast. I watched as Bella turned and Edward ran across the ground to save her. As the van hurtled towards them I felt a pain shoot through the back of my head and I clapped my hand against it as my vision went dark.

"Sadie…Sadie."

"Sadie!"

There was suddenly so much pain. I could feel it everywhere. I was screaming out. Why didn't anybody stop the pain? Another sharp rip across my stomach and I pressed my hands to it wishing it was all over. But as soon as it had started, it stopped and I opened my eyes to see everyone crowded around the van, crying and hugging each other.

My hands were still pressed against my stomach and I gently eased them open yelping in surprise when I saw the grey blouse Esme had bought me was stained red under my arms. Carefully I lifted the shirt to reveal my stomach and the two long shallow cuts parallel to each other straight across my middle. It was about that time when I passed out.

"Sadie? Sadie."

"Sadie!" The last call of my name woke me up and I opened my eyes to see Alice staring back at me, the three other Cullens towering over me.

"Ow!" I moaned as I tried to sit up and I felt pain again, this time however it was all over my body not just focusing on one area.

"What happened?" Alice asked and I tried to refocus my eyes on her face but she was so close it made my head hurt. I leaned back a little so I could see her properly and noticed for the first time I was still sitting on the cold, icy ground.

"I don't remember," I said looking pointedly at Alice who blinked letting me know she understood, "I think I passed out." Jasper and Emmett both helped me up and as I straightened my hands immediately went to my stomach and my new stained bloody blouse except…except it wasn't bloody and neither was my stomach when I lifted the shirt out of the way to see, my skin was pale and perfectly unblemished.

"I thought I…never mind," I muttered shaking my head, stopping when it was too painful but that made me remember, "Bella? Is Bella alright?"

The change on Rosalie's face was instantaneous. She immediately looked away, the rage plain on beautiful features. I could see it in Jasper's face too though he knew how to handle himself better.

"Bella's fine," Alice said soothingly stroking back my hair on my forehead to check for bumps and bruises, "A little sore maybe but she'll be fine."

"No thanks to Edward." Rosalie said under her breath and Alice threw her a dark look which she saw but turned away from.

"She's really alright?" I asked pulling my coat around my shoulder tighter; laying on top of ice is never the greatest plan.

Alice nodded and I let out a long breath of relief,

"Good," I said sighing, "That's good."

"Is it?" Rosalie suddenly snapped, "It doesn't look that way to me."

"Easy, Rose." Emmett muttered quietly laying a hand on her arm but she shook it off.

"It is a good thing she's okay Rosalie." I straightened up. I was shorter than her but I would hold my own if that's what it took. So long friendship with Rosalie.

"Not from where I'm standing, first Edward can't read her mind and now he saves her in a way a normal person couldn't," Rosalie was in my face towering over me, well not towering but I had shrunk down as she raised her voice, "You haven't been at this as long as us. If the girl talks…" Rosalie trailed off as Emmett touched her arm again and this time she responded. She backed up several paces breathing heavily.

"She won't say anything." I insisted. I was speaking Edward's words which felt fitting since he wasn't here to speak them himself.

"We'll see." Rosalie said turning on a heel and striding away. Emmett gave me one last look before he followed after her.

I turned to Jasper, grabbing his arm with my hands before he too could escape.

"I know you're worried about what this means for Alice," I said watching as his eyebrows rose at my words, "But I'm right, she won't say anything I promise. Please, just don't do anything right now Jasper. Alice is safe. Please just wait." I begged looking into his golden eyes as he stared back into my grey ones. I wondered what he was seeing. I could see my reflection in his.

"Alice," Jasper's eyes shifted to hers, "What do you see?"

I turned my head as Alice closed her eyes, her brow furrowing as she concentrated.

"I can't see what will happen if we just ignore this," She said her mouth turning down into a frown, "You're still too undecided."

Jasper began to frown too,

"I'll wait until I speak to Edward, then I will decide."

It was as much as I could hope for,

"Thank you." I whispered squeezing his arm under my grip. Behind us the bell rang and gathering our bags we headed out from the safety of the forest and towards the school all of us lost in our own thoughts.

*

I waited outside the house while the Cullens talked later that afternoon. Not because I didn't want to hear, I did more that anything but I felt like it would be eavesdropping. This was family business and no matter how much I wanted to be, I was not part of theirs. I wasn't even part of their world.

But just because I couldn't see didn't mean I couldn't hear. I could and I did. I heard everything. I heard Rosalie's plan and Edward's snide comment in regards to the murder of her former fiancé and his friends. And then Carlisle's calm speech about how they could not murder an innocent effectively ending her furious outburst. And then Jasper, his desperate desire to keep Alice safe and then Alice's own secret vision made public when Edward saw through her defences. I jumped when his chair hit the ground.

Then I heard his groan when Alice kept pushing. I yearned to go and comfort him, if only to let him know that there would be a time when everything would be perfect for him. But I didn't move a muscle instead I closed my eyes as his voice came to me, perfectly clear as a bell.

"Love her, too?"

I pushed up from the porch a sudden pain in my chest and strode into the forest. Nobody would notice that I'd gone, same as back home. My mother never noticed if I took off suddenly and my father wasn't around to notice.

The afternoon light was fading into dusk and all around me the forest was alive with sound and movement. It was raining heavily. I hadn't noticed when I was sitting on the steps covered by the porch's roof but now I could hear it falling, slapping onto the leaves as if the drops were as big as rocks. Within mere minutes I was soaked to the bone, the blouse and jeans drenched and stuck tightly to my frame.

I should have turned around and returned to the house, I could have but I didn't. Instead I ran, I ran through the forest getting even wetter but it felt pleasant like it was washing away all my fears and self doubt. I stopped when I reached the river, my hands clenching into fists. Could I do it? I seemed to have the vampire speed so could I jump across the river. Making my decision I backed up a little, lunging forward onto each leg before I straightened up and started to run keeping my eyes on the opposite river bank. As I reached the edge I leapt forwards and landed in the middle of the river. It was absolutely freezing. Laughing to myself I swam across to the other side and pulled myself out onto the bank, panting, my breath fogging out above me as I lay on my back, my clothes now definitely soaking.

Me a vampire? Yeah right and the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy are real Sadie.

I don't know how long I lay there but I didn't get cold. I mean I felt it but it felt like I was watching someone else be cold but not myself. It was the strangest feeling. Then I felt like someone was watching me.

My eyes snapped open and I was on my feet, dripping water onto the already sodden grass.

"Oh it's you." I relaxed my body as I leaned to one side and wrung out my hair.

Edward looked surprised to see me here, dripping wet but still laughing. I think I jolted him out of his own funk, momentarily anyway.

"Did you fall in the river?" He asked water droplets dripping from his own hair. He had no idea just how wonderful he looked right now. I turned my head away and looked out across the river, the surface of which was uneven as the rain poured down onto it, making ripple and ripple.

"Uh-huh." I said trying to hold back the hysterical giggles that were threatening to come out if I let them.

"Oh." Was all he said. He looked at the river too and I wondered what it would be like to have all the thoughts he had running around his head right now. Hearing everyone else's thoughts must make it hard to separate your own. It must make your mind a very lonely place to be.

"I know you want to be alone now so I'll leave you alone." I said giving up on trying to ring out my hair, it was raining so hard there was really no point at all.

Edward turned to leave but I grabbed his elbow letting go the instant he turned like he had shocked me. He had but because he was there, solid and real and well wet due to the rain. How could this all be in my head when I could feel so much?

"I meant what I said before, things will get better," When Edward turned his head away I took his arm again and again letting go the moment he looked back at me, "I know it doesn't seem like it now but trust me, or trust Alice, she knows what's she talking about."

He made a guttural sound but I stood my ground. He couldn't scare me no matter how hard he tried. He looked too good for me to be frightened.

"Have faith." I whispered and very slowly I reached out a dripping snowy white hand and placed in on his shoulder having to stretch up on my tiptoes. He looked surprised and as well he should be. I'd kept my distance from him when we were both at the Cullen house, not wanting to get under his feet. I hadn't sought him out for conversation either no matter how much I wanted too.

He was staring at my hand on his shoulder and I pulled it back, afraid I'd gone too far.

"You'll make the right choice." I said trying not to let the hurt show in my face.

"How do you know?" Edward said his words tight.

Because I know you. Because you love her and no matter how much you try to run you'll be drawn back to her. Because you're perfect. Because it's already been written that way.

"Because I just do." I smiled hesitantly at him and without waiting for his reply I dove into the dark river feeling the icy cold water as no more than room temperature water and swam to the other side of the bank. When I'd managed to pull myself out of the water the opposite bank it was empty.

No-one was around when I got in and I went straight up to Edward's room to shower. Swimming in river water is not exactly the cleanliest of things to do. The warm water felt nice and it gave me time not to think and instead just feel the heat chase the chills away.

It was only later when I was wrapped up in a fluffy dressing gown finishing my Spanish paper at the dining table with help from Alice and Jasper that I realised why I was shivering.

My eyes slid to Alice and Jasper who were finishing their own or at least Alice was Jasper seemed to be finding it hard to keep his eyes from her face.

I turned my head to where Carlisle and Esme were watching television, their hands joined together in an age old tradition. Closing my eyes I focused my hearing on the garage where I could hear Rosalie and Emmett talking. Rosalie was speaking to me now but she was still a little angry I'd turned on her so quickly so I was keeping my distance for a while.

In that moment I felt like Edward, living with three sets of perfectly matched couples, soon (though they didn't know it yet) to be joined by a forth. Although I didn't begrudge them at all it was hard not to feel lonely even though they were friendly. Love was something I'd never experienced or at least not to the degree that the Cullens felt it; soul mates.

I'd had crushes sure but I'd never felt that over powering instant when you just have to be with someone no matter how they feel or what they say. I played with the chain of my necklace as I looked out past Alice and Jasper to the dark glass wall and the sight beyond. I could even pick out the dark silhouette of the mountains where somewhere beyond Edward was making the decision to stay away from Bella.

It hit me then as I sitting there in stripy pyjamas and a fluffy white dressing gown. It was all about Edward. He was the perfect guy and everyone else was always second best to him. I'd been sabotaging my own love life because none of the guys ever measure up to him. I was rating them against a fictional character.

Well things would have to change the minute I got back home. No more comparing. I was done with all that. Edward was Bella's and he would never be mine. I knew that. I didn't want him to be mine, I wanted him to be with Bella. No guy could be perfect all the time, not for me. But did that mean I just had to settle?

Alice suddenly looked up from the table pulling my eyes straight back to hers at her abrupt movement.

"What?" I asked, "What is it?"

Alice's eyes stared unfocused on my face before she blinked coming out of her trace like state,

"You," She said her brow puckering in confusion at her own sight, "Something's is shifting. Your future's gone all lucid."

"Is that good or bad?" I asked as Jasper looked up from finishing my Spanish verbs.

Alice shrugged her tiny shoulders,

"I don't know but whatever it is its big. Your future is changing in a vast way. It's becoming…clearer." Alice's eyes widened as she spoke.

I stared at Alice and it took me a moment to realise that not only was Jasper staring at Alice and me but so were Carlisle and Esme.

"Alice?" I breathed sharply, jerking to my feet as pain shot through stomach again and I pressed a hand against my stomach. My own eyes widened as I took my hand away and it was red. And this time it didn't seem to be going away no matter how many times I blinked.

"Alice?" I questioned again before the pain hit me again this time in the back of the head and for the second time that day I blacked out.

Author's Notes:

Just wanted to say I've decided to go in a bit of a different direction. I'm still keeping my main idea but I thought that nobody wants to read Twilight again as a fan fic so it's more like a Sadie story that laps over with the events. If that makes sense.

Hope you guys liked this chapter.

~RJ