A/N: Sorry this took so long! I had another round of law school exams. They just kill all of your brain cells. Really, I had problems forming simple sentences. Y'alls' reviews really helped me through these hellish days. BUT… you guys have got to stop being so smart! One of you guessed what was happening in this chapter with frightening accuracy. And another (I'm not saying who/when they guessed this) got a MAJOR plot point of future chapters. I will definitely give props to that person later. (Seriously, I have it noted in my outline – "Give kudos to ".) Haha. Anyway, I hope you like the chapter! I hope I still have a few surprises in store for you.

The Once and Future Taiyoukai

Chapter 9: On a Son's Behalf

She woke up slowly, dragged from her dreams of jewel shards, blue silk and silver furs. The room was light with morning sun and she stretched languidly before realizing that this was her room. Her heart skipped a beat. When did she come to her room? The last thing she could remember was lying beside Sesshoumaru and the way her presence seemed to calm his feverish mutterings. She had been pretty comfortable herself.

Someone must have found her, she realized, and carried her back to her own bed. She was still dressed in the kimono she had worn to dinner, and now it was creased and wrinkled where she had lain on it. It was probably Toga himself who had carried her back, or maybe one of the guards on his lord's command. How embarrassing.

Getting up, Kagome shed the lovely but crumpled kimono and draped it across the foot of her bed. The maids would not be pleased, but some of the more serious folds were relaxing already. To be fairer to them, she selected a spring green cotton kimono from the wardrobe, which would not crease so easily as silk. She would have preferred something more casual, but she was aware that she was in a lord's castle and she must dress as a proper guest.

She tried to make herself presentable before she left the room barefooted and crossed to Sesshoumaru's door, which was open. Inside, the healer and her staff were fussing over their patient, trying to make him drink some soup that, in all truth, looked and smelled ghastly. "You're awake," she exclaimed happily, making everyone look at her.

"Good morning," greeted the young taiyoukai with a nod. His voice was raw and his eyes were red, but at least he was awake.

"Good morning. Are you feeling better? Has your fever gone down?"

"I am and it has." He gestured at the soup in front of him. "Unless they keep forcing this down my throat. I will be sick again if they insist upon it."

Kagome smiled as the healer scowled at her patient. "I'm sure there's lots of good stuff in there to make a demon lord feel good."

"It tastes like piss."

"Sesshoumaru!" Her eyes widened and she turned away as the healer shot her a nasty glare for the amusement in her voice. "That's so rude!"

"I simply tell the truth." He shoved the bowl away from him, making one of the servants dive for it before it splattered everywhere on the floor.

Kagome shook her head. "You're being a petulant child," she admonished, still laughing. She was vaguely aware that the other demons in the room had turned to stare at her, but Sesshoumaru did not seem to mind her scolding.

"I ask for edible food. That's all." He leaned back into his pillows as the servants cleared up and left the room. Their conversation would be repeated word for word throughout the entire castle before lunch, but Sesshoumaru hardly cared. Kagome was going to be the source of constant wonder, especially considering their colorful arrival. "I must get out of this room. Do you wish to keep me company?"

"Hmm. Alright. How about a walk in the gardens?" she asked. "It's a little cold though."

"The gardens bore me, but it is outside. Since I do not feel well enough for training quite yet, I suppose that is all the fresh air I will have today. So, we will go to the gardens."

"The healer said it was okay?"

Sesshoumaru frowned slightly. "I will not remain here when I feel perfectly fine."

"Sesshoumaru, I won't contribute to your delinquency," she said, shaking her head. "How about just walking around the castle a bit instead?"

"I need air," he insisted. He gave her an even look. "I could go without you."

"No," replied Kagome quickly. "I'll go. Just to make sure you behave yourself. I guess a walk can't do too much harm. Just don't let the healer hear about it. I don't want to hear any stories about how the little human girl got the demon lord sick again."

Sesshoumaru smirked. He knew she would not refuse him. "They forget what being a true youkai is like. I do not have the frailties of humans." He lifted an eyebrow. "You would have died from this illness and it does not faze me."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Now I know you're feeling better. You're being insulting."

He shrugged. "I am neither unconscious nor exhausted beyond the point of collapse. And I am not even delirious."

The girl cracked a smile. "Lord Toga said you were delirious when you got here and you said all sorts of things. Did you really ask him to save me? That's very sweet."

Sesshoumaru considered her for a moment, frowning. "I am pleased that you are alive, Kagome. If I did not care, I would not have carried you so far."

"It's nice to feel wanted," she replied with a shy grin. Color began to creep up her neck as he looked at her.

They stared at one another for a second, inexplicably uneasy all of a sudden. "If you expect me to dress, I would wait outside if I were you," murmured Sesshoumaru finally, breaking the silence.

Kagome blinked. "Oh. Right. Sorry." She stepped out, leaning against one of the support beams and pressing the heels of hands into her cheeks. Her skin was hot and she wasn't entirely sure why. Although it was nice to hear that he was happy that she lived. Yes, that was very nice to hear.

She heard rustling and the creak of wood. She pressed her ear against the door when Sesshoumaru sighed. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," came the labored reply, followed by a bump and soft swear.

Kagome frowned. "Do you need help? I mean… I could call someone," she suggested.

"No," he replied shortly.

He must take hours to dress with only one arm, she thought dryly. Stubborn jerk.

Sesshoumaru emerged a few minutes later, slightly breathless but wrapped in enough clothes to keep him warm until February. "You become painfully aware of how many layers you have to put on when you're sick," he said, when Kagome arched an eyebrow.

"I don't know about this," she replied. She lifted a hand to his head. "You're clammy already. You'll make yourself sick again."

"I simply need air."

Kagome sighed. "Why don't I believe you?" she muttered.

He looked down the corridor. "Do you know where my father is?"

Kagome shook her head. "No idea. Haven't seen him this morning. And you're trying to change the subject. What about your health?"

"I should find him. I need to speak with him."

The girl sighed and gave up. Sesshoumaru would just go without her anyway if she refused. "He'll find you. I'm sure the servants told him you were awake. He'll come when he's not busy. He put off a lot of work yesterday because of us."

Sesshoumaru frowned slightly. "I suppose. Very well then. Let us go to the dreadful bore that is the garden."

She smiled. "You're supposed to be in a good mood if you're really not sick."

"Who said that I was not in a good mood?"

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Of course. Well, I'm glad you're feeling better. Your father said you wouldn't have been so sick if you hadn't fought that dragon though. Are you always so messy when killing a dragon?"

He scoffed lightly. "I was saving your life," he said, but then paused. "I was trying to."

Her light-hearted smile faded. "You did save my life. You were wonderful."

"That was the moment you died," he said flatly. His expression was almost completely blank, except for the slight downward turn of his mouth.

Kagome spun around, planting herself in front of him and forcing him to stop. She slid her arms around his waist and rested her head upon his chest. She could feel the warmth of his body through the layers of cloth. "I know," she murmured. "I remember sort of. Not a lot. Just patches of memories here and there. But I remember you fighting that dragon. I remember the feeling of the life being squeezed out of me. But you did save me. I died for a little while, true, but only you could have made sure that that wasn't permanent." She pulled away and smiled up at him. "I owe you one."

She released him, but took his hand as he nodded. "I hope that we are never in a situation where you must pay me back," he said.

"Oh, but this is me, we're talking about. I kind of attract trouble," she laughed, starting on their walk again, her hand still entwined with his. For some reason, she did not want to be far from him and touching was even better. His deadly claws brushed against her skin.

"Kind of?" he repeated.

"Shut up," she laughed. They came to the door and she slid it open, shivering at the draft that whipped in. "Brrr. Winter's definitely coming."

"It is not cold," Sesshoumaru murmured, pushing past her and releasing her hand. He missed its warmth immediately, but he simply could not touch her for long. He did not see her faint frown.

"Jerk. Is too." She closed the door and jogged after him. "You shouldn't go so fast. Take it easy. Your father won't be happy if you get sick again."

She was right, but Sesshoumaru just shrugged. "My father finds fault with many things that I do, regardless of the consequences," he said.

Oh boy, Kagome thought. There it was again – that odd love-hate relationship that both of the sons of the Inutaisho seemed to have with their father. What exactly was with them? "I think your father is perfectly charming," she said casually.

Sesshoumaru suddenly felt the pain he had experienced upon waking up alone in bed. Kagome had been there, he knew. Her sweet scent was wrapped up in his sheets. But his father's scent had been there too and a flare of irritation burned in the young taiyoukai's chest. "Most of your kind do."

Her eyes widened. "What do you mean? What's 'my kind'?"

"You are female. And human. Those are both things that my father is very fond of."

Kagome blinked. That wasn't exactly a revelation. Inuyasha's mother had been human, so she had figured that Toga at least had a passing tolerance for the race in general. But the coldness in Sesshoumaru's voice had startled her. "He's a nice guy, Sesshoumaru. And your mother isn't around, so what's the harm in him, um, trying to find another mate?"

"I sincerely doubt that he is trying to find a new mate," replied the young dog demon. "He enjoys the attention he receives from your kind. As I'm sure you noticed."

"Hey, you know, I'm just his guest here. I'm not going to judge who he, um… passes time with."

"You misunderstand. I want to protect you." He frowned slightly. "As you said, he is charming."

Her eyes widened again. "Hold on. You think that I would actually sleep with your father? Sesshoumaru!" She smacked him on the arm, none too lightly. "That's disgusting. I'm your friend and he must be… what? Six hundred years old?"

"Over a thousand."

"That's a bit too old, even if he doesn't look a day over four hundred. What is wrong with you?" Sesshoumaru turned, but she caught him by the arm. He was still too sick to resist much. "Um, no, you don't get to leave like that. Tell me what in hell possessed you to think those things."

"You were in my bed last night," he said softly.

Her hand dropped away from him. "Oh. I didn't… I didn't think you were awake." She bit her lip and looked at his rather miserable expression. "But I don't see what being in your bed – fully clothed, I might add – has to do with your father."

"He came shortly after you did." He lifted a hand to his head. "I don't remember all of it. I had a fever. But he wanted to take you away. I fell asleep and in the morning, you were gone."

"That doesn't mean anything happened. I think he just carried me to bed. Still fully clothed. I don't think you would want me caught in your bed. I'm sure that's all he was thinking of."

He nodded. "Yes. Of course." He let out a rattling breath.

"Sesshoumaru, are you feeling okay?" She moved close to him and pressed a hand to his forehead. "You're warm again. You shouldn't have gotten so worked up. You have to go back inside and get to bed."

"I'm fine."

Kagome clucked her tongue. "You're baring your soul to me, here. This definitely falls under 'unusual Sesshoumaru behavior'. You're going back to bed." She took him by the arm and felt how his weight sat heavily on her shoulder.

"I must apologize."

She shook her head. "You've told me several times not to apologize to you. You don't have to apologize to me. Come on."

He pushed back from her support. "No, I simply need to sit down."

Kagome sighed, but led him over to a small stone bench, barely big enough for the two of them. "Alright, only because I definitely can't carry you. But if my toes start to freeze or if you start to cough or anything else takes a turn for the worse, we're going right back inside. I've been dead enough for a lifetime."

The taiyoukai put his elbows on his knees and hung his head. His hair was so long that it nearly touched the ground. He hadn't tied it into his customary braid, she realized. It almost looked strange to her now. The unbound silver locks spilled over his shoulders and around his face, hiding it from view for a moment. He impatiently pushed it back behind his ears.

"I'll braid it for you, if you want," she suggested.

"I never tie up my hair when I'm home," he replied. His breathing was not as labored but his voice still shook.

Kagome frowned for a moment. "Why?"

"It causes confusion."

"Because your father braids his hair?"

Sesshoumaru sighed softly. "Yes."

Ah, she thought. That's why he would stop braiding his hair completely in the future. She was willing to bet money that he was often confused for Toga, even years after his death. It must have been irritating, to be constantly compared with the great demon lord. He so obviously tried to imitate his father's power, but to have everyone judge any failure in that imitation? How soul-shattering.

"Alright. I'll leave it," she said. But she gave into her desire to thread the silver hair through her fingers anyway and reached for him, pulling through the strands as easily as silk. It seemed to calm him and so she continued for a while before speaking again. "Why does the thought of your father with a human bother you so much?" she asked softly.

"It does not bother me personally. But it would bother many of our subjects," he murmured as his eyes slid shut. He forgot his earlier decision to not let her touch him. Her little fingers worked through his hair, brushing against his neck and over the points of his ears. He had to suppress a shudder. "Any child of a human and a demon would be a hanyou."

"So?"

He turned slightly. "Even I realize the weaknesses of a hanyou child."

Her fingers paused. "My best friend is a hanyou. He's not weak."

"I did not mean a weakness in physical or mental capacity. I simply…" He paused and shook his head. Kagome's still fingers scratched against his scalp as he moved. "I do not know what I meant."

"You're prejudiced," she whispered. "Even now, you're prejudiced."

He frowned at her words. "I do not see why it should matter that I am prejudiced or not." He looked down. "I will never have a hanyou."

Her hand dropped away. "What if… what if you fall in love with a human woman? Would you deny her children? Take a concubine?"

Sesshoumaru remembered the comforting warmth of Kagome's body against his. He remembered the words he whispered to her and how she curled towards him. He remembered his father offering to give consent for him to mate with Kagome. And how he turned it down. But he would have given her children, hanyou or not. "It does not matter. My father is arranging my mating as we speak."

Kagome's skin turned ashen. "I didn't know that." She looked at him and his vacant, down-turned eyes. "What are you going to do?"

He didn't answer her for a few moments. "I will abide by my father's choice," he muttered.

"But don't you have any say in it? Isn't it your choice too?"

And suddenly, he felt the burn of anger in his body. Angry at his father. Angry at his life. Angry at her. How could she not see? Of course he didn't have a choice! This was what a good leader did – he accepted what was best for his subjects, even if it was painful for him. Even if the only thing he wanted was to kiss her and tell her that she was his choice, he wouldn't. There was no choice. The West would fall if its lord's son took a human mate. He truly believed that. And he was still so close to taking her anyway.

But it wouldn't have been a problem, he reasoned furiously, if she hadn't ensnared him into her journey. Why hadn't she just left him alone? Why couldn't she have left his life as fast as she had come into it? He hated the fact that her simple presence had turned this simple matter into one rife with doubt and pain. He almost hated her.

"What does it matter?" he asked sharply, turning his golden eyes onto her. His sudden movement made his vision swim, but he ignored it.

Kagome drew back at his tone. "It matters," she said, recovering quickly, "because this female will be your mate for life. I don't believe that you don't care."

"Why should I care? This is not for love. It is for power alone," he snapped.

"It doesn't have to be. You shouldn't rush. You should take your time and make your own decisions," she insisted.

Make his own decisions! He almost gave a cold laugh, but instead narrowed his eyes. "Do you think that I would decide upon you?" he snarled.

The air escaped from her lungs and for the longest time, she couldn't breathe in again. When she did, it was greedy, harsh breath. "No," she said. "No."

Sesshoumaru felt a sharp pain in his heart. "Good, because I have no intention of fathering a hanyou bastard that will only poison my opportunities in this territory," he growled, pouring all the viciousness he could into his words.

"I thought you said that it didn't matter to you," she said, her eyes growing large.

He gave her a scathing look. "I lied."

"You… you never lie."

"Obviously, you do not know me as well as you think you do," he said.

She stood up, her fists clenched. "Why are you being so mean? Sesshoumaru… I didn't… I never expected…" She fell silent.

"And in the future," he continued, unhearing of her protests, "I trust that you will find your own bed and stay away from mine."

She started to cry. "You're sick," she said. "You're saying things you don't mean."

"I have never felt so clear-headed in my life," he said, standing up as well. Again, his head protested and sent a wave of vertigo through his body. He was sick. He should stop. What in hell was he doing? But he couldn't cease the words tumbling out of his mouth. "I will mate with Ryukotsusei's daughter, as my father commands, and the Western Lands will be better for it."

"Ryu…" Kagome lifted her head. "Ryukotsusei? Sesshoumaru, you can't…"

"I can and will. I will not have you trying to influence the future of this territory with your soft-hearted ideas. Only pure demons will rule this land." There was a finality in his voice that stung both of them. And as Sesshoumaru watched her, he realized that she would never truly forgive him for his words.

She suddenly straightened, a fierceness shining in her eye. "Fine. Just fine with me," she spat. "Take Ryukotsusei's daughter. If you can. May the fate that comes to you be on your shoulders alone."

Kagome spun on her heel and walked away, back to the castle. Sesshoumaru sat down again, feeling light-headed. A chill racked his body that had little to do with his illness.

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"I know that I am early, my lord, but Lord Ryukotsusei hopes that you will have an answer."

Toga stood at the window of his office. Kagome and Sesshoumaru had just emerged from the castle and were walking along the path. Interesting, the way she walked so close. "Yes," he said, turning his head back to the dragon lord's messenger, who was a green-skinned lizard youkai. "I have a proposal. Let's see if we can reach an agreement, shall we? It's right there." He pointed to a scroll of parchment in the center of his desk.

The messenger reached forward and read down the list. "Lord Toga, my lord does not raise livestock," he murmured.

"Do you only hunt?" asked the taiyoukai.

"Yes, my lord."

Toga sighed. "Very well. What does your lord propose?"

"We could provide many fine pelts. Our hunters are the best in the lands," answered the messenger.

"Oh, are they?"

"Some of the best, my lord," the messenger corrected himself. "Of course, my lord recognizes the hunting and battle prowess of the Western…"

"Save it," interrupted Toga. "I'll take the pelts. It's hardly the most important item."

The messenger scribbled the change onto both scrolls. "Most wise, my lord." His eyes skimmed the list again. "Ah, these jewels, my lord…"

"Don't tell me you can't provide those either," said Toga, looking out the window again. Kagome was looking a bit peeved and he wondered what his son had said. Of course, his son looked rather irritated too. That pair certainly had spirit. "Your clan comes from the mountains. Certainly, you are not thieves instead of miners."

The lizard youkai was clearly affronted, but knew better than to say anything. "We have the jewels, my lord, but pearls? We are not close to an ocean."

Toga glowered at him for a moment before looking back out the window. Kagome was leading his son to a bench. Of course, Sesshoumaru would overexert himself in no time flat. Although, come to think of it, he could have sworn that the healer had ordered his son to at least three days of bed rest. "Don't lie to me. I know that Ryukotsusei has a large province on the coast. I know that he receives shipments of pearls on a regular basis. Now, put down the pearls or I'll rip your fingers out of their sockets."

"Yes, my lord," murmured the messenger, his skin paling to a sicklier green.

He watched as the pair sat together, with Kagome stroking his son's hair. As the lizard youkai scratched out the changes to the dowry, Kagome drew back. Toga sighed in exasperation.

"Anything else you require from my lord's coastal lands?" asked the messenger hesitantly. He'd obviously been instructed to keep that province a secret if at all possible. Toga tried to feel some sympathy for the youkai, but only managed half-hearted pity.

"No. That's enough."

"Very good, my lord."

Now Kagome was standing up again. It looked like she was yelling at him. Or crying. He couldn't tell. What had Sesshoumaru said to her? "What about the female's own necessities?" asked Toga distractedly. "I don't want to be outfitting my daughter-in-law with an entirely new wardrobe. She has one, doesn't she?"

"She spends most of her time in her dragon form," said the lizard. "But she does own enough finery, to start off with."

Toga sighed. Sesshoumaru was standing up too. He didn't look so sick now. But then, when did he ever show any weakness when he was angry? Toga briefly considered calling the guards down to the garden, before dismissing the idea. Sesshoumaru would never hurt the girl. "Fine. What else does she require?"

"Her own rooms. She will bring her own attendants and they will need rooms as well. She expects your staff to clean and cook for her, however."

"And what does her staff do all day? Make a mess and eat?" Toga muttered.

"Um… Anyway, she also requires a personal fight trainer. Her father will not allow her to take his general." He ran his finger down the rest of the list. "And she would like to know how Lord Sesshoumaru feels about pets."

Toga watched as Kagome stalked away from his son. Sesshoumaru sank back to his seat and placed his head in his hands. That was one hell of a fight, he decided, as he turned back to the lizard youkai. "You know what? I believe I've changed my mind about all of this."

The messenger blinked. "I do not understand, my lord. She… she doesn't have to bring a pet," he stammered.

"No, I've changed my mind about the entire thing. My son will not be mating with your lord's daughter." He smiled darkly. "You may leave now."

It took a few moments for the other youkai to process Toga's words. "This is… shocking, my lord. I must go back with a reason for this!"

"Ah, yes. You can tell Ryukotsusei that I have found another mate for my son," said Toga, advancing on the lizard demon.

The messenger got to his feet. "May I ask who, my lord?"

"Charming girl. Goes by the name of Kagome. I doubt you'd know her. She's human and from a family that I have never even heard of." His smile widened. "But my son is deeply in love with her and I'm afraid I cannot disappoint him."

"Lord Toga… I am speechless."

"That will help as you make your speedy exit," Toga replied.

"But my lady!" The lizard demon was backing up as fast as possible from the approaching taiyoukai.

Toga reached forward and slid the door open, ushering the lizard youkai out none too delicately. "I'm sure she's a lovely girl too. And I'm sure she will have no trouble finding a mate."

"My lord, have you seen her?" asked the messenger, just as the door was closed in his face.

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He found her easily enough. She was sitting in one of the unused rooms, sitting on the tatami mats and staring at the blank wall. She had wiped away the tears, but he could still smell the salt in the air.

"You should dress for dinner," he murmured, gesturing to the casual kimono she wore. "I have another guest. Unexpected this time, but much more welcome than the last. He's one of my subjects and a good friend of mine. He and his family would like to meet you, I'm sure."

"No thank you. I'm not hungry," she replied.

Toga rocked back and forth on his heels. "Sesshoumaru is not coming to dinner." He paused as her body shuddered. "He's sick again. Somehow, he managed to get all worked up and now his fever is back. I've had to post guards to make sure he doesn't get out of bed again."

"Will he be alright?" Kagome asked softly.

"Yes, he'll be fine. He needs a couple of days of rest though. Then he will accompany you on your journey once again."

She finally moved and turned to look at him. "If it's possible, I would like to leave tomorrow."

"He will not be well enough tomorrow," replied Toga.

Kagome nodded. "I know."

It was worse than he thought. "I cannot allow you to wander my lands alone, Kagome. There are many demons out there, many of them my own subjects, who would easily overcome you. You would be dead within hours."

"I can defend myself," she replied dully.

"Yes. You told me about the wolf, but forgive me, you don't seem to have quite a handle on this power of yours." Toga straightened his spine and frowned. "And with that power that you carry, I will not trust any of my guards with you. I am the only other one that could manage to take you, but I cannot leave my home. Not now. Your best bet is Sesshoumaru."

Kagome curled up her knees under her chin. "I don't think he'll be very happy about going with me either."

Toga sat down beside her, facing the same wall, and waited.

"Why are you forcing him to mate with someone he doesn't love?" she asked a few moments later.

"I'm not forcing anything on him. My own father did that and I will not pass on that tradition." He turned his head to look at her. "I told Sesshoumaru that he must take a mate soon. He was the one that asked me to find him one. He has never cared about finding a mate that he loves, despite my best efforts to convince him otherwise."

"He said that you'd chosen," she murmured.

"And I have. I hope that Sesshoumaru will have a mate within week or so."

Kagome's eyes widened. "So soon?"

"He needs an heir. With only one child of my own, my line and leadership is constantly in danger. There are lords that have lost as many as six sons. I have been fortunate so far, but I don't wish to press my luck."

"Why Ryukotsusei's daughter?"

Toga raised an eyebrow. "I see that Sesshoumaru told you. Well, Kaida would provide my son with strong children and the alliance would be beneficial. Why?"

"It's just… Ryukotsusei is known to be… violent," she stuttered.

"Most dragons are," said Toga softly.

Kagome wanted to tell him. She wanted to confess everything so that he would know the danger he was in by dealing with Ryukotsusei. She wanted to warn him, so that he would never go near the dragon, so that he would never die and so that he would be there for Inuyasha. And for Sesshoumaru. She knew that both of his sons felt Toga's absence.

But she couldn't say anything. It could change everything, but who could guarantee that the change would be for the better? If she said something, she could even prevent Inuyasha's birth and change her own history.

"Just… be careful," she murmured finally.

"I always am, my girl."

Kagome smiled sadly. "Of course you are." She sighed. "I hope that Sesshoumaru is happy with his new mate. I hope Kaida gives you many grandchildren."

"Oh, she won't do that."

The girl blinked. "What do you mean?"

Toga shrugged. "She would have provided me with strong grandchildren. The alliance would have been beneficial. But somehow, I think it would be more trouble than it's worth. I rejected Ryukotsusei's offer and sent his messenger away." He leaned closer to the shocked girl. "To tell the truth, I think we all managed to dodge an arrow with that decision. She sounded hideous. In more ways than one."

For the first time in hours, Kagome truly smiled. "So Sesshoumaru doesn't have a mate?" she asked, trying and failing to keep her voice neutral.

"Oh, he does. He still needs one after all."

The smile faltered. "Touran?"

"No." He smiled, showing off his fangs. "Someone he loves."

"He doesn't love anyone," Kagome said, the smile having faded entirely.

Toga shrugged. "Well, not that I would ever, in a million years, eavesdrop on my sick son as a woman graced his bed. But assuming I did, I might have heard Sesshoumaru tell a certain human girl that he was the most precious creature in the world to him." He noted the surprise on her face and grinned. "I think those were the words anyway. You might have to ask him."

Kagome shook her head. "No, he didn't say that."

"I assure you that he did."

"He couldn't have. You must have heard wrong."

Toga frowned slightly. He had expected a lot more smiling and laughing than this. "These aren't just for aesthetics," he said, pointing to his ears. "A dog demon has the best hearing of any youkai race. I heard what he said to you."

"Then he was delirious. Because he told me that he would only have pure-blooded children. He would never anger his subjects by taking a human woman. He would never have me." Tears welled up in her eyes once again, distressing the taiyoukai beside her.

"Ah, that's what he said, was it?" He shrugged as she looked at him. "So I might spy on my sick son from my office window as well. Only when I have his best interests at heart and I'm trying to get him a mate."

Kagome began to cry, the tears running down her cheeks thickly, staining her skin with salt. When the droplets began to drip off her chin, Toga pulled the girl into a one-armed hug, patting her on the shoulder. "Forgive me, Kagome," he murmured. "I want my son to be happy, despite what he might think. I'm sure that whatever he said was simply a foolish attempt to push aside his feelings for you. He thought he would be mated to another female. Last night I told him that he should take you, but he refused for the sake of our lands."

"Then… he doesn't want me. Just as he said," she choked out.

Toga sighed. "There are several that would be angry, I admit, but he gave up too easily. He fears for you, not for himself, Kagome. I gave in for a while, because I thought he might be right. But when I saw you two in the garden, I realized my mistake. His mistake too. You are actually too strong, even for a youkai mate. He will realize that." He listened to her sobs as they began to subside. "Kagome, would you take my son as your mate?"

She sniffed. "I…" She stopped and pulled away from the taiyoukai, rubbing at her eyes and wrapping an arm around her knees. "I don't even know if I love him," she murmured.

"You don't?" asked Toga gently.

Kagome took a deep breath. She remembered dying, with Midoriko bending over her and Sesshoumaru coming towards her prone body. He had concern in his eyes. He had knelt down beside her and tried to comfort her. And although she knew that she could not possibly remember anything from his journey to save her life, she seemed to remember feeling warm and safe and beloved. He had been the only one she wanted to see. And he had come for her.

But she also remembered what she said to him as she died, her words of apology for something that wouldn't happen for another three hundred years. She had almost revealed an important part of Sesshoumaru's future, just because she was dying. If she loved him, she would tell him everything.

"I can't love him," she answered.

Toga frowned. "I do not understand. You were fighting about him not taking you as his mate and now you are telling me that you would refuse him anyway?"

"Yes," Kagome replied, defeated.

"Why? Is it because you are uncomfortable with the fact that I am asking on his behalf?" He paused. "I admit I am not familiar with the courtship rituals of humans, but it seems that they frequently help their children find their mates."

"It's not that. It's not even the fact that he said such cruel things to me. I know that he's sick and he's just trying to protect himself and this kingdom." She sighed and rubbed away the tears again. "He didn't say anything that I didn't expect. I was just trying to give myself an excuse to hate him."

Toga raised an eyebrow. "You are the first that needs an excuse."

Kagome smiled softly and rested her chin on her folded arms. "I've only known him, really known him, for a few days. It's so strange that I would consider giving up my life to stay here with him."

"So you would take him as your mate," replied Toga.

"Yes," she said immediately. She pressed a hand over her chest, over the vial that held the shards underneath her kimono. "But I can't. I have other duties. When he helps me get home, I will never come back. I can't come back and I can't stay."

"And so this rejection is for the protection of my son's heart?"

"My heart too," murmured Kagome.

He sighed heavily. "So you will both refuse the other for the sake of duty."

"It's not such a surprise," said the girl. "Priestesses often die alone. This is why. Please, understand that everything would be different if I was anyone else."

"If you were anyone else, Sesshoumaru would not want you so badly," replied Toga with a grim smile. He took a breath as she lowered her eyes. "Very well. I understand, although I am not sure that I agree. But what do I know? I am only one demon."

"Thank you," she replied, as the taiyoukai got to his feet.

Toga smiled. "I have done nothing but meddled in my son's romantic affairs for the past day and a half, and you're thanking me. I feel less like a demon lord and more like the town gossip."

"You love your son. That is worthy of thanks," Kagome said. She sighed and stared at the blank wall again.

Turning serious again, the taiyoukai stretched out his hand, offering it to the girl. "Come, my dear girl. Have dinner with my guests and me. It will take your mind off of these things. It's not healthy to mourn like this."

Kagome paused for a moment and then took his hand.

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A/N: I know that a lot of you will want to kill me after Kagome refused Toga's proposal on Sesshoumaru's behalf, but did you really think it'd be that easy? Poor Toga though – he tries so hard and those darn kids just won't cooperate! Some of you obviously wanted to know how both Sesshoumaru and Kagome were getting along in their whole processing of their feelings. I hope this chapter illuminated everything a bit. Please review!