Note: well. Hopefully this chapter clears up some things.

IMPORTANT!: No matter what please just read until the end! Everything is kinda crazy but everything will sort itself out as long as you keep reading and don't give up on this story! I beg you! Don't give up on me! Things will happen in this chapter but I'm telling you to hold on until you reach the very bottom! Goodluck and get some tissues! (I know I needed them!)

Strengthen Me

Chapter 8 part 2


Depression


Two weeks earlier, 29th august 2016

"I think we should end this" Levi says, staring directly into Eren's ocean green orbs. The brunettes eyes widen as the color slowly started draining from his face. "W-what? What do you mean?" He questions, his brows knitting together. "We should stop seeing each other"

"What? No, why? Why would you want that? Last night... Last night you were saying you didn't want to lose me and now you're practically telling me to leave you! After what you did you're the one that wants to break up! What's wrong with you?!" Eren yells tears stinging at his eyes. Levi didn't answer. He stayed silent and it pissed Eren off.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that. You tell me I'm a brat all the time yet look how you're acting now. You're feeling sorry for yourself... Your father died. I get that. But seriously you need to get over it now. You being like this isn't going to bring him back!" Maybe I should shut up... No... It's my turn to let out my feelings.

Before Eren could even continue Levi had stood up as well and was glaring at him. "I said we're ending this. You're obviously too young to handle this and I obviously can't control myself. I'm doing this to protect you so shut up and listen"

"No, I won't have it... You can't do this... You can't... That's just unfair... You can't" Eren chokes out. By now his tears were falling down his cheeks, cascading out his tear ducts like water running down a cliff. "I have to do this..." Levi says and Eren felt something in him ticking, like a bomb that's waiting to explode.

"Why... Why..." Eren whispers out, his voice soft and shaky. "Eren... I think it's pretty obvious as to why I'm doing this..." Levi replies. "No... No it's not... Why? Why are you trying to do this to me?"

"Because I raped you Eren... Because I violated you... You told me to stop and I didn't listen... I hurt you... I did the one thing I didn't ever want to do. It's best if we just stop things here before I do something worse" Levi says, his eyes glancing away from Erens. "No… You don't get to decide that for me! So what you raped me? So what you didn't listen when I told you to stop. I don't care!"

"I'm sorry, Eren. We can't go on like this..." Levi says. Eren's knees gave in on him and he fell to the ground, his head bowed. "How can you just say that… how can you just end it with a face like that…? Do I mean nothing to you? Am I just a pain in the neck? Do you want to get rid of me that badly?"

"Eren… you know that's not true…" Levi utters out, "You mean everything to me. And that's why I'm doing this. I care about you and I don't want you getting hurt… if I can hurt you once I can hurt you again and I don't want that. This is for you, not for me" he adds in.

"No. I won't accept this. You're not doing this. I'd rather die"

"Eren, you're being pathetic now"

"And so what?! Under these circumstances you'd also be like this! Or are you that inhumane that you won't even feel an ounce of grief when the person you love decides to end it with you after they did something you don't even care about! Put yourselves in my shoes! I was raped, not you! I decide whether you're dangerous to me or not! You don't! Don't try to say you're doing this for me because if you really were thinking about me you wouldn't have even brought this up, you selfish bastard!"

"Yes, you were the one that was raped. And who raped you? I did. I raped you Eren. The fact that I did it while I was influenced by alcohol doesn't change anything. You were raped by me. that's that. That's more than enough for me to decide that I'm too dangerous for you. What if this happened again? Then what?"

"It won't happen again. Levi please… I know… I know that you think you're dangerous but you're not… you… I know you didn't want to do that… you were drunk, you were angry and I don't know, you must have blacked out… please… just don't do this… you know I won't be able to handle you leaving me again…"

"You're acting like a desperate woman" Levi comments and Eren said nothing. "I know I'm a brat… I know I'm a handful… I know I'm weak… I know it all… I also know that I love you too much to let you do this… you're not being yourself, Levi… you… your father's death is making you push me aside… I know it hurts… I know it hurts to lose someone you care about… I had to deal with it twice… thrice actually… so please… don't do this because of that. just because of one mistake you made… don't push me away because of it… I know you're grieving… let me help you… let me heal you… like you healed me"

"I don't understand you…" Levi says, his voice finally changing from the emotionless hum and into a low growl, "You were raped… I raped you yet you still claim to love me… you're crazy Eren… I thought you were better than this… tell me, if someone else, someone under the influence of alcohol, raped you would you just be okay with it? Would you just forgive them because they "weren't being themselves because of the alcohol"?"

"That's a different situation…" Eren mutters out. "How is it different?" Levi hisses out, "No matter how you look at it you're still being raped. The fact that someone "isn't being themselves" is irrelevant. What don't you understand about that?"

"You're the one that doesn't understand… of course I wouldn't forgive someone else if they did this to me… but you're different… you're different, Levi… I love you… I love you enough to forget about this because I know that you didn't want to do it… you… if you weren't taking it so hard I would have thought you didn't care but you are… you're struggling to accept it… but you need to… Levi, you raped me. You raped me while intoxicated. And that's fine. I forgive you because I know it won't happen again…" Eren says, his head bowed while his hand clutched onto his chest that felt like it was being pricked by poisonous needles.

"I don't care. Stop it Eren.. You're making this harder than what it is… just… just stop it" Levi mutters out. His voice was starting to sound how he felt. Drained. "You're right…" Eren lifts his head up. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm so-"

Before Eren could even finish his sentence his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell over, his body shaking on the ground. Levi's eyes widened. He didn't even hesitate to drop to the ground and turn the brunette over. "Eren! What's wrong?!" he yelled, panicked.

Eren's eyes were clenched tightly as his hands clutched onto his chest. "My… My heart… it hurts… it…" Eren didn't finish his sentence as he let out a scream before he turned over and started spitting out blood. Levi's face went white as he watched the red liquid being spat out of Eren's mouth fall on the floor.

"Eren… did you take your medication?" he asked, his voice soft. This can't be happening. Eren looked at him. "I… I was… so worried about where you were last night… I didn't take them at all…" once the words left his mouth he yet again coughed out blood, the substance staining the floors.

"Your body's rejecting your heart… Eren how could you not take them!? You know that there was a possibility of your heart being rejected! Why?!" Levi yells, staring at the brunette, eyes wide with shock. "B-because… because I was worried… I thought…"

"No, you weren't thinking at all!"

"What's going on here?" Mikasa asks as she looks over at the two. "Eren!" she shouts as she runs over to the brunette that was busy coughing up his own blood. "What happened?!" she asks, looking over at her brother. "He didn't take his medication. His heart is being rejected by his body"

"What?! Eren, why didn't you take your pills!? Are you stupid!? You could die!"

"Then so be it! I'd rather die anyway!" Eren yells back. "You… you understand, don't you Mikasa… you know what it's like being turned away by the person you love so shut up and leave me alone! So what if I'm stupid! If being stupid worked for me so far in my life then I wouldn't have wanted to be anything else!"

"What are you talking about… you know what, never mind. We need to get you to a hospital. I won't allow you to die. You're not doing that to me or Levi" Mikasa says, trying to lift Eren up but failing. He was far too heavy for her to handle. "I'll do it" Levi says, taking Eren into his arms and picking him up bridal style.

"I've changed my mind…" Levi mutters out as he starts walking out the room, Mikasa following after him. "I don't think I can leave you when you're this stupid. You might die without me" he says and Eren glares at him. "Screw you, asshole. I can tak-" his sentence was interrupted by blood suddenly rising up his throat and then being spat out on Levi. Oops.

"Uhm... sorry" the brunette mutters out. "It's fine. I deserve everything I get"

"That might be true"


By the time Mikasa and Levi had gotten Eren to the hospital it was already half past five in the morning. Eren had at first been coughing out small portions of blood but the soon he started coughing out larger amounts. His skin was pale, almost translucent and he was covered in a thin sheen of cold sweat.

By the time they brought him through the ER doors he'd already passed out in Levi's arms. Blood was dribbling down his chin and his clothes were soaked. "Please help. We think his body is rejecting his heart" Mikasa had been the one to speak, seeing as Levi was too focused on trying to wake Eren up, fearing that once he fully lost consciousness he wouldn't get it back.

"Why would his heart do that?" the nurse had asked. "It's a donor organ. Don't ask stupid questions and do your job! You can see he needs help so do something!" Mikasa had yelled at the poor nurse, giving her the most vicious glare she could muster. The nurse quickly nods her head and waved her hand at another person.

Seconds later a gurney was brought to them along with some doctors. "What's wrong with him?" one of the doctors asked, helping Levi place the brunette down on the bed thingy. They had other emergency equipment with them and one of the doctors went straight to manually monitoring what they supposed was his pulse,

"We don't know. He says he didn't take his immunosuppression medication last night like he was supposed to and then this morning we were arguing and then he just collapsed and started coughing out blood. We think his body might be rejecting his heart" Levi says. "Okay, what's his name?" another doctor asked. "Eren Yeager. He's been here before. His doctor is Aki Yreka"

"Okay, we'll page Dr. Aki. Tell me, during the argument was he under any stress?" the doctor asked as they wheeled him from the entrance hall and over to an operating room. "Who isn't under any stress when arguing with someone? And why are we going to an operating room?" Mikasa asked. "Is it that bad?"

"We'll take it from here. I'm sorry but you two will have to wait out in the anteroom until we come out. He might need emergency surgery" the doctor said. Mikasa stopped in her tracks. Levi was going to but his shirt was suddenly tugged on. "W-wait… d-don't leave yet" the brunette utters out, his voice soft and weak yet loud in Levi's ears.

Levi leaned over, kissing the brunette's forehead. "I can't go in with you. Just stay strong" the blackette says. Eren motions for him to come closer. He obeys, turning his head to the side and letting Eren whisper what he wanted to say in his ear. "I… whatever happens… I want you to know that I don't blame you… it's not your fault… and… I want you to k-know that I will always love …y-yo-"

"We're losing him! Sir you're going to have to step aside and let us deal with this!" and suddenly he was being stopped by nurses he hadn't even known were there. He didn't even bother fighting against them. He stopped in his tracks and watched as the doctors and nurses disappeared with Eren into an operating room.

"Please don't die…"


It had been almost two hours since Eren had gone in for the emergency surgery. Mikasa and Levi were on their last nerves. Their patience was starting to wear thin. Levi was irritated. He knew that he probably hadn't even showered yet because he could smell his body odor-which wasn't that strong but it was mixed with something sweet and something alcoholic and it was disgusting- he's mouth tasted like stale shit (Let's not ask questions about this one) and all he wanted to do was go home and fix himself up but he was far too concerned about Eren.

So he was baring with his horrible state of filth. Luckily Mikasa had gotten him a coffee. It somewhat took away the foul taste in his mouth and made him less calm but he was still on edge. What Eren had said before he'd been taken away by the doctors really scared him because it sounded almost like a parting message, like he was saying goodbye for the last time.

It honestly scared Levi. He had to deal with the fear of losing Eren and he didn't think, not after he already lost his father, that he'd be able to deal with it again. He knew that if something did happen and Eren did die he would blame himself for it, even though Eren told him not to.

If he had dealt with the loss of his father more maturely things wouldn't have been this way. He wouldn't have snapped at Mikasa like he had and ran out the house to drink away his problems like he had. Eren wouldn't have been too worried to bother taking his medication. And Levi wouldn't have raped Eren while he was intoxicated. But it did happen and there was nothing he could do about it. All he could do was hope for the best.

"Do you think he's alright...?" Mikasa asked, looking down at the polystyrene cup that was still filled with milky caffein. Levi didn't bother looking up at her as he answered her question, his voice soft and sounding strained. "I don't know"

"Uhm, Levi, Mikasa, right?" They heard someone call, the person sounding awfully sullen. Mikasa and Levi looked up to see that it was Yreka- Eren's doctor. Both stood up immediately and walked over to the woman. "Aki-sensei! You're out which means they're done? How is Eren?" Mikasa bombards the woman.

Yreka gave them a sullen look, her eyes downcast. "We tried everything that we could. Unfortunately Eren's body started rejecting his transplanted heart which caused stress on the organ and trigger a heart attack-"

"A heart attack? Eren's too young to have a heart attack" Mikasa says, her face scrunched up in confusion.

"You can't put an age on things like this. His heart was put under stress and the attack was triggered. Blood flow backed up which is probably why he had been coughing up so much blood when he came in. We tried to do emergency bypass surgery and we injected him with immunosuppresive medication-"

"He's dead, isn't he?" Levi interjected her. The woman turned to look at the male, a sadden look on her face. "We tried everything that we could. Lack of blood flow sent other organs into failure. His lungs collapsed and we tried to give him oxygen as quickly as we could but we weren't quick enough. He was announced brain dead at 07:15 this morning after a repeated attempt at resuscitation. We're sorry, we did the best we could"

A silence passed between them. Mikasa's eyes were wide and teary while her brothers face had turned shades paler. "He's body is this way... If you'd like to see him..." Aki said, breaking the silence. "Yes, take us to him..." Mikasa said. The doctor nodded her head and lead them down the hall. Mikasa had to drag her stiff brother down with her. She felt crappy hearing about this news. She could only imagine how Levi must feel at this moment.

"Here... He's in there... There's still tubes attached to him and the operating table might be a little messy... We'll give you two a moment to say your goodbyes before we send him off to the morgue" Aki said, pointing to the double doors behind her. Mikasa looked at the door, her body shaking.

She was the first to walk in and when she saw Eren laying on the table in the middle of the disastrous room she ran over to him, tears running down her cheeks. "I told you you can't do this... Not after dad died... Now Levi's going to be in even more pain... Why... Why are you so inconsiderate? Why didn't you take your pills? Why are you lying there, dead? Eren... Why? You were supposed to be an angel... Levi's angel... You can't be one if you're dead"

At this point Levi had walked into the room and over to the table Eren's body was on. He could see evidence from the surgery. Eren's chest had new stitches on it and he was still covered in his own blood. His skin was starting to turn a purpley-blue as well. The sight made Levi want to vomit.

"I told you not to die..." He whispered more to himself. He felt his knees buckle underneath him, making him fall down. As he sat there he looked down at the floor. It had blood and bags all over it. He had never seen so much blood in his life. He felt sick.

He got up from the floor and looked down at Eren's face. It was surprisingly peaceful, just like when he slept. It made him want to cry. Seeing Eren's peaceful face made him want to cry. He knew that now he would never be able to see it again. He felt sick.

He closed his eyes. He couldn't look at it anymore. All he could hear was the sound of Mikasa sobbing and the sound of Eren's non-existent breathing. He blocked it out.

He felt sick.

"Levi" he heard Mikasa call him. He didn't open his eyes. He kept them closed, embracing the darkness his eyelids provided him with.

"Le...vi" Mikasa called again. Her voice sounded distant. "Le...vi" "Le...vi!"

"Le...vi! Le...vi!"

He felt sick.


Acceptance.


Two weeks earlier, 29th August 2016 (1)

"Levi!" Mikasa shouted. Levi finally opened his eyes. He expected to have a tearful Mikasa glaring at him, telling him that it would be best if they went home and in formed all Eren's friends and family about his death but instead he'd just been greeted by a very irritated looking Mikasa who was seated in their living room, her arms crossed and her feet tapping against the ground. "Can you stop day dreaming and listen to me!"

"What...?" Levi mutters out, his eyes filling with confusion. "I said could you stop day dreaming and listen to me. Jeez. We've been trying to get your attention for a whole freaking hour now and all you've been doing is sitting there with a fucking retarded expression on your face"

"We...?" Levi question, looking to his side. His eyes widened. "E-eren?" He says, at a loss of words. But... But I just saw you... You were dead... He mentally said. His hand reached out to cup the brunettes cheek. Eren smiled at him. "No, I'm actually Petra disguised as Eren. I've come to snatch you away" he joked. "Who else will it be other than me?" He asked, his voice soft.

"Am I dreaming?" Levi asked. His eyes were slowly reverting back to their normal shape. "No, you're not dreaming. Although you had been freaking sleeping with your eyes wide open a few minutes ago like the creep you are. Mikasa and I have been trying to get your attention for a while now. Thank goodness you woke up. I was a second away from having your sister beat you awake"

"Believe me, I was a second away from doing it without you telling me to" Mikasa growled out. Levi was still confused. Was it all in my head? Did I dream that? Or is this a dream? He asked himself mentally. He dropped his hand from Eren's cheek and brought it up to his face, slapping it hard against his skin. "L-levi?! What the hell? Don't just slap yourself like that!"

"It's real... It's real..." You're not dead... "Of course this is real. Jeez, what's gotten... In..to you...Levi... Are you crying?" Eren asks as he stares at Levi. The males body was trembling and small little sobs were coming from him as he stared down at his hand that was red from slapping himself. He looked up at Eren, his cheeks flushed, and gave him a tearful smile. "I'm just so happy." He says.

His sobbing started turning into full blown balling. Eren was so shocked he almost forgot his what his own name was. Thinking quickly, the brunette moved over and wrapped his arms around the male, allowing him to cry on Eren's shoulder. Usually Levi was the one holding him, but he supposed that under these circumstances Levi was the one that needed to be held. Well, I don't know what happened but he's definitely breaking down... Has he finally come to terms with his fathers death?

Levi clutched onto the brunettes shirt while letting his tears run out and soak up Eren's clother shoulder. Was that what would have happened had I not fully accepted dads death? Would that have happened if I went out and drank? He questioned himself. His sobbing became even worse as he broke down completely.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." He kept on repeating. "You haven't done anything wrong. Don't apologize" Eren said. "No... I did... I've been horrible... I... I've been ignoring his death... I've been ignoring everything... I know I shouldn't... I know I shouldn't but it hurts... I don't know how to deal with it..."

"That's fine. Don't rush it... Take your time"

"No... I can't... I can't... Eren... I can't... He's dead... He's really dead... He left us... He left us all alone just like my realy parents left me... My father's dead, Eren... He's dead" levi cried out. Eren didn't know if he was supposed to be happy that Levi was finally letting it out and accepting the fact that his father had died or if he was supposed to be sad because this was Levi and him breaking down like this was actually heart-wrenching. "I know, sweetheart, I know" Eren says, petting the blackettes hair.

He really is just human.


Present moment, 5th September 2016

It had been a whole two weeks since Eric's funeral and Levi's breakdown. They were back in Eren's-and I suppose Levi's- hometown. They went back to their normal lives. Levi was back at work and Eren was catching up with school work. Everything was back to normal except one thing.

Ever since Levi had his breakdown he had been treating Eren different. It was small things but Eren never missed them. He was more kinder, more gentler and he hadn't even tried to seduce Eren. He had thought that at first he wasn't in much of a mood since he'd just went to his own fathers funeral two weeks ago.

He didn't mind. The change was nice. He just wanted to know what was going on in Levi's head. Of course for now he wouldn't question anything.

Another thing that was different and hard to explain was that Eren felt oddly grateful to be alive.


DHUN! And poof! This time it was Levi that was dreaming! Yay!

Okay. Now to explain. From the point where Anger had started Levi was already dreaming. It's not like the type of dream Eren had been having during LA but I could say it was a close second. Also sometimes people probably wonder "if Levi's dreaming then why is it mostly about Eren". That's simple to anwser. Sometimes in our dreams we see things in someone elses POV. It happens to me. Sometimes I dream in 3rd POV or I'm someone else and talking to me (myself). Hopefully this is somewhat understandable...

Okay. So. I realized that I maybe shouldn't have put up the last chapter. I don't think the rape part was necessary and I hated having it up, so me and my friend thought up a way to basically save my ass for posting that. (Thanks bud!). Anyway. So yes. Levi had dreamt up everything. I think this actually works. Levi will now appreciate Eren more because he really doesn't want to lose him. He probably won't drink alcohol either.

I don't want to make this long but I still want to explain why the rape was in the last chapter. So basically I just had this faze where I thought "hey, let's actually write down something that isn't fantasy". I wanted to incorperate some realism into my story because let's face it. Relationships aren't all rainbows and unicorns. Things like that can happen. Maybe I shouldn't have made it rape and rather have Levi beat Eren but that didn't sound all too appealing to me either. I'm sorry about that. Next time I'll keep realism for a documentry. Ha ha.

So. Hope everything is cleared up now. I'm sorry if some of you were unsettled by the last chapter. I want you to know that I will also never break them up. But you guys should have known that considering I still said I was going to write another story once this one is finish so it's obvious they won't break up. Oh well.

Ohhh, and I'm no doctor. Sorry if some stuff don't seem right. What sounds good in my head usually isn't... oh well...

Again, I do apologize. Hopefully some of you actually read up till this point!

Love you guys! Hoping for reviews! Till next time!

Ciao~