Notes: Sorry for the radio silence, everyone. It was a very busy season for me. Hope you guys had a safe holiday. Enjoy!

Nine

"No! Dammit! Get out from under there!"

Lightning shooed the errant calico cat away as it fled from the over-decorated Christmas tree, scattering brightly colored ornaments before it disappeared into the hall. She sighed, dragging a hand down her face as she knelt down to gather them up. She approximated where they'd come from; the branches were so heavily laden that it was impossible to tell that any were missing. Snow always went overboard when it came to decorating for any holiday.

She sat back at the coffee table to finish wrapping the presents she had gotten for Serah and her husband. There was no one else to give gifts to besides Noel, but she hadn't spoken to him in nearly a week. It was Christmas Eve, and she was going to be spending alone; Serah and Snow wouldn't be back from their cruise for another few days.

Her phone rang from where it sat on the floor beside her. She glanced down at it. Once again, it was Noel, who'd called her at least one time a day for the past week. She ignored it and went back to wrapping her sister's present.

A half hour later, there was a knock at the kitchen door. With an agitated sigh. she rose to her feet and peeked through the gauzy curtain covering the window. It was Noel, huddled against the winter wind as it blasted around the house, carrying snowflakes with it.

Lightning debated leaving him there, but in the end, she couldn't do it. She opened the door and folded her arms across her chest.

"Merry Christmas," Noel said.

"Yeah," she answered. "What do you want?"

He smiled wryly. "Can we start with me getting out of the freezing cold wind?"

She found her lips twitching in response. "I guess." She stepped back and he came inside, shaking snowflakes out of his hair. He stripped out of his coat and hung it by the door. Turning, he eyed the empty fire place.

"Want me to start a fire for you?"

Lightning sat on the couch and crossed her legs, giving him a look. After a moment he sighed, sitting down on the floor beside her and looking up at her.

"Don't be mad, okay?"

She arched a brow at him.

Noel laughed quietly. "Alright, you have every reason to be mad, but don't be." He gave her the full weight of those blue eyes, and she nudged him with her knee to break the moment.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because," he began, "for one, I'm very sorry." His fingertips brushed her thigh as he moved up to sit beside her on the couch. Before she could shift away from him, he leaned over her, his face close to hers. "And for two, I want to be with you."

Their gazes locked. After a moment, he said, "I thought for awhile your eyes were two different colors. I guess not."

"No," she answered shortly. "Noel, if you want to be with me, then why did you react the way that you did?"

"Because," he said, exhaling. "I was scared, okay? That I was, like…pushing myself onto you, or something."

"You weren't. Obviously."

Noel shook his head.

"It's not good enough, Noel," she said, moving away from him. "It's not. I don't need another asshole in my life."

"Really. You're going to lump me in with - "

"Can you blame me?" she snapped.

Noel fell silent, his face pained. "Lightning," he said. "I'm sorry. I really am. I was scared of hurting you, and I did it anyway. It's the last thing on earth I want to do. Please."

"Please what, Noel?"

"Give me another shot," he said. "I won't mess this one up."

Lightning felt her throat constrict. How badly she wanted to trust him.

"What's Academia?" she asked finally.

He tilted his head. "Academia?" he said. "That's the college I went to on Pulse. Why?"

Lightning studied his face. "Really?"

"Really. Why do you ask?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "They give out badges at a college?"

He smiled. "Were you going through my stuff or something?"

"Yes," Lightning replied, unapologetic. "Awhile ago."

Noel shook his head, still smiling. "Yes," he said. "They did. It was a police academy."

"Oh."

"Yes. And," he said, tugging on her hand, "if you try to look it up on the internet, that's all you will find. I promise."

She searched his gaze. "Truly?"

"Truly."

Noel took her hand, turning the palm upwards. His thumb traced a gentle pattern against her skin. "You can say no," he told her. "We don't have to be anything more than we are now. I just want you in my life."

"What are we now?" she asked.

"Friends." Noel released her and sat back, one arm along the back of the couch. "At least."

"We had a good thing going," Lightning said.

"We did," he agreed.

Lightning realized that she was afraid. More than anything she wanted to be able to trust Noel implicitly, but she couldn't. Before the day at the mall, there were possibilities; his adverse reaction to their kiss had changed something. Somehow, in spite of his troubled past and the scars that criss-crossed his forearms, she had managed to view him as some kind of unflawed being, who liked her no matter what.

Until he had recoiled from her kiss.

She pushed herself off the couch and stood. At Noel's inquiring glance she told him, "I'll be back in a second," before striding down the hallway to her bedroom. As she glanced around the room trying to spot her bag, she realized it still didn't look lived in. She wondered if it ever would.

Catching sight of the back by her closet, she knelt and rummaged through it until she found photo paper from the mall, crumpled from having been crammed hastily among her things. Smoothing the creases, her eyes lit on the last of the four pictures, where the camera had caught them mid-kiss.

For not the first time that day, Lightning's throat felt tight with tears she had not allowed to come. Why should she cry? Being alone and remaining alone was not a notion she was unused to. It was how she envisioned the rest of her life to be. It had never bothered her before.

She started as a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, a pair of lips pressing against the side of her face. She noticed, briefly, that the old, white scars on his right arm were more jagged than the left, a sure by-product of cutting with his non-dominant hand.

"I like that," Noel murmured against her skin. "We should get it framed."

"Except for the last one," Lightning said.

"That one, too." He plucked the photo from her hands and set it off to the side on the floor. She turned in his arms to look at him, perhaps push him away, but instead, she found herself honing in on his soft lips - she knew they were soft - and how they were curved in a gentle smile.

She kissed him then, at first a tentative brush of lips which quickly deepened. She was tired of fighting him, and even more tired of fighting herself. Instead of worrying about Noel's intentions like a dog with a bone, she let it go. She would trust him now, if for no other reason than that it just felt good to surrender to him.

Lightning didn't recall being moved to the bed, but she was suddenly aware of it, as she was aware of Noel's skin beneath her fingertips as her hands moved down his bare stomach and stopping short of the waistband of his jeans, as he kissed along her neck and shoulder where the loose shirt had bared it. He paused and looked down at her. "Should I stop?" he asked.

She held his gaze for a moment, then dropped it as she undid the button on his jeans in a deft motion that she hadn't known her hands were capable of anymore. "No," she answered.

Acts of intimacy were ones that were at odds with Lightning's nature. They required of her a vulnerability that she was loathe to expose, to give up and give in to the most primal of urges and the most basic of instincts. She remembered how long it had taken for her and Cid to get to that point, constantly at odds with the fact that she could be a sexual at all.

Perhaps it was experience, but with Noel, it was easy as breathing. There were no feelings of vulnerability, no fear of rejection, even with the current state of her body. He seemed to delight in everything she showed him, murmurs of "so beautiful" punctuated by kisses. He had never known her as anything but what she was now, and he liked it. Perhaps he even loved it. There was only one moment of hesitation.

"Do you have a condom?" he asked.

"No," she answered. "It's fine. I'm on the patch."

"The…?" She pointed to the small patch adhered to her hip. "Oh. Are you sure?"

"Unless you have something, then yes."

He smiled. "What about you? What if you have something?"

Lightning pulled him down for a kiss. "I don't."

"Okay. You've convinced me," he said, voice husky as he slid inside of her.

It was good.

After he was finished was even better. Noel lay beside her, kissing trails down her neck as his fingers moved in lazy circles between her legs, bringing her to effortless climax.

"I think it's safe to say that it's still been the best Christmas Eve I've ever had," Noel said after he returned from the bathroom. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I suppose it was alright," she allowed.

"Only alright?" Noel raised a brow as he tugged on his boxers. "It sounded more than alright."

She laughed. "Don't be gross."

"It wasn't gross, either," he said. "It was amazing."

After a moment, she said, "Yeah. It was."

She got up and gathered her clothes before going into the bathroom to clean up. She paused at looked at herself in the mirror. If Noel liked what he saw, perhaps she could learn to like it too.

She pulled her underwear and leggings on, relishing the vague soreness between her legs - it had been awhile - before pulling on her top. She felt more confident than she ever had since her accident. She tried not to think of the implications that it had taken a round of sex to restore some of that confidence.

Noel was in the living room, stacking wood in the fireplace. The cat was back, watching in with an idle curiosity as he lit both end of the starter log with a lighter.

"Do you want some coffee?" Lightning asked.

"How about I make dinner," Noel said, dusting his hands off. "And then coffee."

"Sounds good," she said with a smile.

After dinner, they sat on the couch beside each other, each with a mug off coffee. Lightning sipped from her cup and stared into the dying flames in the fire place. Noel was scrolling through his phone with a small frown.

"Looks like we're going to be snowed in for Christmas," he said.

"I can think of worse fates," Lightning replied.

He grinned. "So can I." Setting his mug on the coffee table and standing, he said, "Let me grab your present out of my truck really quick."

"Oh, shit," she muttered under her breath. So he'd still gotten her a gift. Of course. And she had nothing for him.

He returned with a gift box and handed it to her.

"I can't accept this. I didn't get you anything," she confessed.

"Are you kidding?" He took his seat next to her. "Tonight was perfect."

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Really?"

"Yes. Now open it," he said.

She undid the ribbon that held the slender box together and lifted the lid. Inside, lying on velvet, was a silver pendant in the shape of a lightning bolt.

"Do you like it?" he asked, his tone anxious.

She lifted the chain from the box. "I love it," she told him. Turning around, she lifted her hair. "Can you put it on?"

He fastened it around her throat and laid a kiss on the nape of her neck. "Merry Christmas."

End Part One.