NORRINGTON WANTS THE GOOD OLD DAYS BACK

"How could you?" Commodore James Norrington demanded, shaking the head of Disney by his Mickey Mouse lapels.

"How could I what?" the bewildered man asked of his very-much-alive character.

"Make the movies so non-child-friendly!" Norrington shouted.

"Wh-what?" the man quavered in his polished black wing tips.

"This new 'Pirates' movie. Are you serious? What was up with that castle torture scene at the beginning? Completely unnecessary!" Norrington protested.

"B-but it was rated appropriately and… and…"

"Right!" Norrington said. "You could have left out the unnecessary creepy parts and cut out the cheesy lines!"

"There were no cheesy lines," his victim protested.

"'Abandon ship or abandon hope'? Who do you think you're kidding?" Norrington snorted.

"Apparently not you…"

"Just promise me… No more people-with-tentacled-faces. You made Titania cower in fear for a while!" Norrington said.

"Yes, he did!" Titania piped up, but was quickly shushed by people who hate self-insertion fics.

"I can't promise anything," the man replied stiffly. "You can take it up with my lawyer. I'll see you in COURT!" With that, he walked out of the room.

Norrington slumped down onto the man's leather couch and clutched the Marie the Kitten (from "Aristocats") plush toy that was lying there.

"I miss the good old days…" he whined.