So, hilariously, I sent out two different teasers Saturday because half way through I had decided I wanted to send out a different part of the chapter. lol. So, somewhere out there there was almost the full chapter of this story.
Also, I want to thank you guys once more for the response the last few chapters have gotten. It means so much to me to know that you guys appreciate and love what I'm doing.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Or The Hills.
...in which my life becomes an episode of The Hills
BPOV.
"Do you think he'll show?"
I look up from my work at Rosalie. She's sitting next to me at the kitchen table doing her homework with a worried face. I raise an eyebrow. "Hmm?"
She rolls her eyes in what she probably assumes looks like annoyance, but it looks an awful lot like anxiety. "Edward, Mom. Do you think Edward will show tomorrow?"
I smile at her with assurance. "Honey, Edward is very dependable. If he said he was coming, he's coming."
"Yeah, it's just…" She lets out a huge breath and slammed her pencil down absentmindedly, but she won't look at me. "He said he would try to make it. As in, maybe he wouldn't be able to. I mean, I saw him on Jimmy Kimmel last night. There's no way he's gonna make it on time I think."
"Babe, that means he's on the west coast. He has a whole 24 hours to get here before your birthday. "
She doesn't look convinced. "I'm just saying."
"Rose, honey," I cup her face and brush her cheek with my thumb. "If you let him know how important it was for him to be here for your birthday, then I'm sure he is doing everything in his power to be here."
I turn back to work and start rearranging Aro's schedule for the entire week. The asshole had decided to take an impromptu trip to Hawaii leaving the entire company with a shitload of extra work to do. Fun.
"Well," I look up again. She twists up her mouth. "I don't know if my tone… or the way I asked him really illustrated…"
I guess, "How much you wanted him there?"
She nods her head timidly and looks away from me. I had never seen Rose act so vulnerable before so this had me completely shocked. Rose's personality often came off very strongly and it often seemed like she didn't care about much, but in this moment, right here, I could tell just how much that was false.
"Do you want me to call him?"
She sighs loudly. "No! I mean, it's whatever. I don't really care if he's here or not. It would just be nice… I mean, you know, I mean… whatever. I'll see him in a month. I mean, we're spending the whole summer together. So, he doesn't need to be here for my birthday. I mean, I don't need him to be here. It's, like, whatev- "
"Honey," I interrupt her mini-freak out by placing both of my hands on her face. I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. She lets out a shaky breath, her cheeks squishing between my hands. I smile at her and look her straight in the eye. "I know this is hard, but I believe you can do anything. And you are so strong and so beautiful and so smart and so amazing. That man is gonna fell head over heels in love with you and not even know what hit 'em. Trust me. It's easier than it looks." I wink at her and she rolls her eyes. "Okay?" When she doesn't respond I start forcing her to nod her head. "Okay. Good. I'm glad you see it my way." She laughs and we both sigh. "And honey, it's okay to need people."
She shrugs me off lightly and harrumphs. "I don't need him."
I laugh and smile down at her. I poke her in her side and she squirms. "I think you're starting to."
"Mom," Her cheeks starts turning pink and I laugh because Rose never blushes and this totally just affirms what I just said. "Shut up! Gawd!"
But, obviously, I do the opposite. "Ohmigod! Do you love him? Do you love Edward? Do you love," And I lowered my voice as if we were sharing a scandalous secret, "your father?"
She groaned loudly, stood up and moved away. She was trying hard not to smile. "Mom, geez. I don't even know him! You are so freaking embarrassing."
I laugh loudly and nod. "Then I'm doing my job perfectly."
She laughs and packs all of her homework up from the table and starts loading it into her backpack. "Fine. But, if he's not here then I get your full permission to fuss him out using three cuss words."
"Zero."
"Three."
"Zero."
"Three."
"One."
She smiles, "Deal." And then groans, frowning. She looks over at me with her bottom lip exaggeratedly poked out. She whines, "This whole having a dad business and wanting him to like me is so stressfullll!"
I laugh. "Oh, I'm sorry, baby. But, on the bright side, Jake will definitely be there."
She waggles her eyebrows, putting her arms through her backpack. "I know! When I blow out my candles I'm gonna wish that the two of you finally do it!"
"Ha." I laugh. "You are such a teenager."
She starts dancing in circles singing, "You're gonna dooo it! You're gonna dooo it!"
I roll my eyes, "That's gonna be pretty difficult with Mike there."
She stops moving immediately and stares at me in disbelief. "No. No! No, Mom. No. Please don't say… Please don't say -"
"We're back together."
"MOMM!" She throws her face in her hands. "Ugh! Why? I can't even… I can't even…"
"Calm down, Rose." I turn back to my work and pull my calculator closer to me.
She keeps talking, "Just when I was sitting here trying to decide if I was Team Edward or Team Jacob, out of fucking nowhere Douchebag Mike is back in the picture? Yuck, Mom. Yuck. You, Isabella Swan, are disgusting."
"I am not." I punch in a few numbers on my calculator. "Mike is hot."
"Yeah, and he knows! There is nothing worse than someone who knows they're gorgeous and is just, like, so obsessed with it."
I mutter jokingly to the empty space beside me, "Oh, hey, Pot! I didn't see you come in. You know my daughter, Kettle, right?"
She scoffs at me, plopping back down in the seat beside me. "Okay. So, yeah, I may be slightly vain, but I do it in a really interesting, really intriguing way, that makes everyone love me for it. It's a difficult task, a really thin line you have to straddle, but I accomplish it. With style and grace. Mike on the other hand -"
"Loves me. Mike loves me. And, you know, I love him, too. We have our ups and downs, but we're good together."
She shakes her head defiantly. "No, you're not. You argue a lot. You hate each other 60% of the time. You're always getting on each other's nerves. I'm not really sure he even likes me, your daughter. If it wasn't for the fact that I know firsthand that you guys have really loud, hot make-up sex, I would say this whole relationship is a failure and a waste of time."
"Rosalie!" My face turns bright red in embarrassment. I duck my head in humiliation.
"Mom, you had an epic love. You know what love is supposed to be like. How could you settle?"
I mutter lowly, "Don't you have anywhere else to be? Like, I don't know, school?"
She sticks her tongue out at me as she exits the kitchen heading toward her room. I sit there and think, wondering if I should call Edward and make sure he's here tomorrow for her birthday since it seems so important to her. It's not like we were having a party or anything. It was literally just going to be Me, Rose, Jake, Michael, and possibly my dad (most likely not) before she left to meet up and celebrate with her school friends. It was the "family" birthday party. Finally, I decide against calling. The Edward I knew was always dependable. And, I wouldn't meddle.
I turn back to my work and sigh.
.
The next morning, there's a small rap on the door. I look down at my watch and frown. It's only 10 o'clock. And, it's a Saturday. Rose is probably still knocked out in her room, so it can't be any of her friends. The "family" party doesn't start until twelve/one-ish. After realizing I've been sitting on the recliner, pondering who could be at the door for far too long, I get up to open the door. I smile widely when I notice it's Edward at the door.
"Oh, hey, Edward! You're here."
I look down and he's carrying a small duffle bag. I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion.
"Yeah," He shrugs. "It's her birthday."
"What's in the bag?" I eye his duffle bag with a frown on my face. Surely, he didn't think this was a slumber party.
He bites his lip and sighs, "I know this might be weird, but, could I stay here?"
I laugh because I think it's a joke. When he doesn't join in, I realize he's being serious and I open the door wider to let him in. "Oh, well, sure. I guess?" He passes by me and places his duffle down on the couch. "Is your parents' house broken?"
He shoves his hands in his pockets. "I haven't really spoken to my mom since the whole... Dinner-gate situation."
I scratch my nose and raise an eyebrow at him. "What Dinner-gate situation?"
He shrugs and looks up at the ceiling. "Basically, I hate her. My mom, I mean. So, looking at her face or speaking to her would actually bring me physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. So, since I'm only here for a day and I don't have my security team, a hotel wasn't really an option. I just, I don't know, I just really didn't want to miss another birthday, I guess. But, if it's a -"
Finally, I understand. "No, no. It's not a problem." I wave my hand over the couch in a very Vanna White-esque way and pipe up my voice, "We have the loveliest couch for you to sleep on. Only the best for our superstar."
He rolls his eyes at me and sits down on the couch. His face looks so troubled and I realize how hard this must all be on him. I've had 17 years to deal with all of this and move forward with my life. He's known about this for a good month. I sit down next to him and hit him with my elbow. He looks over at me with a raised eyebrow.
I make a face at him. "You don't hate your mother."
He scoffs and doesn't say anything.
I try again, "You haven't spoken to her in a month?"
"Bella," He waves around incredulously. "Look what she did?"
"I hope that wasn't a snide remark at my beautiful palace." I joke but he's not having it.
"Bella, I… She ruined our lives. She's supposed to be my mother and - "
"I wouldn't say my life is ruined -"
" - She robbed me of so much. She made you do this alone -"
"I had some help -"
"Bella, how could you not hate her?"
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I hate her." I touch his forearm, which happened to be very muscularly. I look in his eyes and assure him, "I am on this hating train with you, buddy. Don't worry. I don't ever think I'll forgive her for what she's done."
He nods, "Okay, then,"
"But, she's your mother, Edward." He looks away from me, but I tighten my hold on his arm to make him look back at me. "She just wanted what was best for you. And, yeah, she went about it the complete wrong way. And, she's a total bitch for what she did, but, I mean," I look down at his lap instead of his face and let go of his arm. "At least you have a mom who cares."
"Bella," He sighs sadly. He reaches over to grab my hands that are folded in my lap but I shrug him off. He keeps trying to grab them until I say,
"Stop. I wasn't saying that to sound bitter. Promise." I pull away from him and punch him as hard as I can in the arm for making me feel so vulnerable.
"Ow!" He laughs and jokes, "But, you're just so good at it."
"I hate you."
He rolls his eyes playfully and says, "Bella, she ruined us." He looks at me seriously and finally gets ahold of my hands, "Me and you. What we had. We used to be… so in love."
He laughs lightly. He doesn't stop staring me straight in the eyes and his gaze has trapped me. I roll my eyes internally and mutter out, "Yeah."
"We're completely different people now." He says in this, like, resigned voice as if he was just heartbroken over his new fabulous life.
Thinking about his very public love life now was enough for me to break his hold. "Oh, I know."
He tenses and looks at me sideways. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. Just that, if we were so in love, as you say, it's interesting that it didn't take you very long to move on."
He winces and sighs, "Bella, I - "
"Don't explain anything to me." My eyes water and I laugh (slightly) hysterically a few times. he tries to interrupt me but I stop him. "Just, don't. You owe me zero explanations, okay?"
I looked at him threateningly and he croaked out, "Okay."
"Alright," My throat clogs. "'Cause I broke your heart. I forced you to New York. And, you know, it's not even, like, a big deal because, like, that was, uh, 17 years ago and I'm over it. And, you're clearly over it. We've both moved on. And, you're just, like, this totally, completely different, arrogant, kind of an asshole-ish type of guy now, who throws vases in my apartment and yells at me and I haven't been just, like, waiting here for you all these years. So, you don't have to, like, pity me or anything. Like, I'm not anything you need to worry about, okay?" He watches me during my ramble-session with sad eyes and I do everything in my power not to cry. I raise my voice and continue, "And, if I could, I would have a bunch of great, hot sex with gorgeous supermodels too, but, you know, I was a little busy taking care of ourchild and being poor, but, no, I get it. Stop. Don't. That wasn't your fault. The past is the past. And, we should just stop talking. About. It. Because I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to hear about how in love we were. Or about the good times. Or about how sorry you are. Because all I can think about are the millions of magazines with you and all these women and you being sexiest man of the year and me having to ask Jake to help me take care of Rose and me never going to college. So, I just don't...I don't want to talk about it." I failed miserably at not crying. Tears fell from eyes at a rapid pace. I'm not even sure my words were coherent towards the end of that speech. I look at him and I beg, "Please."
I pull my hands out of his grasp and cover my face. I feel humiliated by my rambling because it is just so clear that I'm still hurting and basically meant the very opposite of everything I just said. And, yeah, I'm bitter. But, I never mean to show it. Especially, to him. Suddenly, I'm being pulled into his arms and he's rubbing my back soothingly. This only makes me cry harder and I start sobbing into his chest.
"I won't bring it up again." He murmurs in my hair and I let out a shuddering breath because he's ignoring it. He's ignoring the fact that I've clearly not moved on and all these things still affect me. He's allowing me to save face.
"Thank you." I croak out. I fell my face flame in embarrassment. He pats my back and opens his mouth to say something when the door bursts open. Rose and Jake are standing at the door frozen. Rose's mouth is wide open. I quickly pull away from Edward, wipe under my eyes.
"Rose! I thought you were asleep! In your room!"
She smiles and her eyes widen. She points at Jake. "Nope. Uncle J took me out for a birthday breakfast. What's, uh, going on in here?"
I look over at Edward and stutter, "We were just - we were just…"
"Talking." Edward fills in for me, straightening his clothes.
"Yes. Talking." I nod and bite my lip.
Rose smiles widely and holds out her hands."Is that what you kids are calling it nowadays?"
This was totally payback from when I was teasing her yesterday. I warn, "Rose,"
"No, no. No need to explain." She assures. Her grin huge. "We'll just be in the kitchen. Out of your hair." She pulls on Jake's arm, who hasn't spoken a word since they walked in, and forces him to move with her. Before they're completely out of sight she says sincerely, "Thanks for coming, Edward."
He nods at her and looks over at me with a guilty, apologetic look.
I growl, "I hate you."
.
"Bells?"
"In here, Jake!" I yell out from my bedroom. I was finishing up wrapping Rose's present. He walks in and smiles at me. He walks over to give me a kiss on the cheek and I kiss him on his. "Hey, how are you?"
"Good." He looks down at what I'm wrapping. "Tiffany's, huh? Throwin' out the big guns, aren't ya?"
I shrug. "Well, I figured it's the least I can do for lying to her for her whole life. She really could be making my life a living hell right now, so, I'm extra thankful."
He laughs and plops down on my bed. "True."
I place the blue Tiffany's box inside a Happy Birthday bag along with the card. I point my head at the small brown box in his hand. He was the worst at wrapping so he didn't even bother anymore. He laughs lightly, "I got the new iPhone so I don't need mine anymore. Figured she could use an upgrade."
I smile widely at him. She had been asking for a new phone for at least a solid year, but we weren't up for a new phone for a while. "Oh, Jake. That's great. Thank you so much! She's gonna love this!"
He shrugs like it's no big deal and I realize I never really tell him how much I appreciate him and all the things he does for us. I walk over to sit down next to him and take his hand. I look him straight in the eye and say, "Jake, I don't know if you know this, but I never could have done any of this without you." His eyes widen at my sudden confession. "I owe you so much and I don't think I could ever repay you. But, I just wanted you to know that you are my very best friend and thank you. Thank you so much."
"You're not dying, are you?" He jokes, looking at me suspiciously.
I laugh lightly, "No. Not dying." I wrap my arms around his neck and squeeze tight. "I just love you is all. So, thank you. Also, this day brings up a lot of memories." He slowly brings his arms up and wraps them around me. He lightly rubs my back up and down and then suddenly starts squeezing me for dear life.
I start screaming, squirming and laughing. "Jakkee! Let go!"
He flips me, so my back is on the bed and we start wrestling like we're five years old. I finally have him pinned under me and I'm about to make him yell out "uncle" when Rose yells out, "Mom! Mike's here."
Jake tenses underneath me. I laugh and look at the door as I watch Mike stroll into my bedroom as he always does. Confident and cocky as hell. He walks over to me, smirks, throws a quick "Hey!" to Jacob, who I'm currently straddling, cups my cheek and gives me a quick peck.
"Am I gonna have to separate you two children?"
I laugh as I move my legs so I can hop off Jake. I shake my head and hold my arms out to give him a huge hug. The best thing about being in an on-again/off-again relationship is that when you're "on-again" you get to experience the honeymoon phase all over again. He shakes his head and smiles at me, "You're lucky I know you two or else this would be really suspicious."
I turn to Jake, expecting to laugh with him but his face is turned toward the window and he's scowling. I grab mine and Jake's gift and hold them out to Mike, "Hey, could you take this out to the kitchen? We'll be right there."
"Sure thing." He grabs them from me and heads out of the room, after winking at me. He's very not so subtly trying to hint that he wants sex tonight. The only time he ever winks is when he wants sex. I turn toward Jake and frown, "Yo. What's wrong?"
He sighs loudly. He looks over at me and there's not a doubt in my mind that he's angry. I step back slightly. "Are you mad at me?"
He lets out a laugh in outrage and scoffs. "Am I mad at you. Ha."
"What did I - What did I do?" I cross my arms over my chest. "Jake, what the hell?"
"Seriously, Bella." He laughs darkly. "You know, Edward, Edward I could understand. Edward… Edward makes sense. He was the love of your life. I could concede to losing to Edward. But, Mike Newton?"
My eyebrows raise in surprise. "This is about Mike?"
His voice raises very loudly as he yells out, "No! This is about us! This is about me and you."
"Jake," I look at the open door and then back at him. "What about us? What the fuck?"
"I've just been here. I've been here this fucking whole time. And, for you to be with Mike, again, right now... is just -"
I suddenly feel defensive and take many steps away from him that I back myself into the wall. I yell back, "You've been with Leah for the past ten years, Jake. Don't act like you've just been sitting here waiting for me!"
He slams his hand down on the bed. "She broke up with me, goddamit! I'm divorced now! She broke up with me because of you."
Shocked, I stepped closer to him in disbelief. "Jake, I never meant… You should have told me that - I could have talked to her -"
"She was so pissed off that we couldn't have kids. Like, livid. And, apparently I wasn't as pissed off as she was, which she blamed on the fact that basically I already have a kid, already have a family."
"Jake," The weight from possibly having ruined his marriage without even knowing it comes down on me and I immediately start crying.
"And, I was pissed as hell. Because I loved Leah and you had this on-again-off-again thing happening with that Douchebag out there and it had been years since I had thought about you and me in that way."
"What!" This was news to me. I had always thought things between Jake and I had always been platonic. In fact, I had been convincing people of that our entire lives. "You've thought about us in that way!"
"Yes, Bella!" He stands up angrily and starts pacing. "Why do you think Edward hated me all throughout high school? Why do you think Mike doesn't really like me? Everybody knew that I was in love with you. Everybody, but you."
My eyes widen and I turn from him. He was in love with me? I start breathing heavily. "You never said anything."
"Yeah, well, then it was clear that you didn't feel that way about me. Then, you were all about Edward. And, then you had Rosalie and you weren't in the space to be with anyone and I fell in love with Leah in the meantime, but now... Now, you cannot tell me that you don't feel something for me."
"Jake, I - This is coming completely out of left field for me." I turn back around and almost bump into him. He looked me right in the eye and opened his mouth, but I stopped him. "Jake, hold on. Wait. I can't - my boyfriend is right outside this room. Rose is out there. So, is Edward! I can't - Can we talk about this later?"
"Oh, what a surprise!" He says bitterly, backing away from me. "I come in last place with you. Again. Like always."
I point at him angrily, "That is not fair. You know I love you. Jake, you are my very best friend. I love you so much, but… not in that way. I need you. You know, that I need you."
Jake shrugs and his eyes water. It was so strange for me to see him this way. He's a huge, bulky guy. He's strong. He's always been so strong for me. He's supported me through every hardship I've had in my life and I never stopped to think about why. He says, "Well, I just can't sit here anymore and be friends with you and be your right hand and just, like, you know, watch you be with everyone else but me. Not anymore."
"Please don't do this." I burst into tears and my shoulders shake. "Jake, please don't do this." I start crying loudly to the point where I'm slightly hyperventilating when he finally comes over to comfort me. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his hard chest. I wrap my hands firmly around him and sob. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Okay? Please don't leave me Jake. I can't take it. I couldn't take it. Rose needs you. I need you. You can't - please, don't -"
"Okay, okay, okay." He shushes me, laying kisses on top of my head. "I'm not… I'm not going anywhere."
I hold on tighter just in case he changes his mind. I love this man so much, but I don't think I could ever think about him romantically. But, was I being selfish for wanting him around when he clearly felt differently? My heart burned with the thought of losing Jake, my best friend. I started sobbing harder. He pulls my head away from his chest with both hands and wipes my tears off my chest with his thumbs. "Alright, Bells, alright! Chill. I'm sorry I brought it up."
Suddenly, there's a small rap on the open door and Rose peeks her head around the doorframe.
"Hey," She bites her lips and says, "Just wanna let you know that we can hear everything you're saying and everybody is feeling really awkward out there. Don't really know what to do with my hands. So, um, that's happening."
Kill me.
Upon hearing this, Jake pulls away from me and clears his throat. He gives me a sad look and walks out of the room, patting Rose on the shoulder on the way out. I wipe my face and take a couple of deep breaths. I plop down on my bed and fall on my back. Rose jumps on the bed next to me on her knees and looks at me with wide eyes.
"Hooo-leeeee Shit." She starts smiling like she's holding in laughter and also with a little bit of pride. She grabs my shoulders and shakes me roughly. "Mom, what is your life right now?"
Reviewers get teasers. And virtual hugs.
Happy early Thanksgiving!
Angie ;)
