Chapter 9: The Wren
"I think it is possible for a man to love one woman all his life and be better for it.
D'Artagnan, The Man In The Iron Mask
Will fell into one of his "quiet" moods as he drove the horses the last few miles. Djaq seemed to sense his need for solitude and joined Marian in the wagon. For once, Will was glad that Marian and Djaq spent so much time talking together. He loved listening to them talk, and although Djaq was of a quiet nature herself, there were times when she seemed more talkative. Will had never been one for conversation, and at this particular moment he was quite content to have his thoughts to himself. In the horizon there was a very faint glow that settled just above the tree tops far in the distance. The torches of Locksley. Home. Memories of his father spilled into his thoughts and he felt his throat constrict a little. He wondered if the cottage he had been raised in would look somehow different? Surely it was occupied by now. Would the new family know anything about the fate of the Scarlett's? Likely they would. His father, Dan, had helped build half the town. Memories came flooding in now. His dad, teaching him how to use carpentry tools, and patching the thatched roofs at Michaelmas for the winter. He could still see his mother's face as she spun flax in the evenings by the fire, and her patient smile when he stole a bit of pastie before bed. Gone now, all gone. All that remained was Luke, his brother, who lived with their aunt in Scarborough.
He felt his mood turning black and so he turned his thoughts to Little John, and Alan and Much. He could easily imagine the joy in their faces when they saw that their friends had not deserted them. And Robin. Robin when he realized that Marian was not dead. He smiled to himself as he drove the horses a bit faster. They had stopped at an Inn to feed and water the horses and throw some meat on bread and depart. The horses were fresh, which was a lot more than could be said of the ladies. And himself, he grudgingly admitted.
Marian had, against all odds, managed to recuperate somewhat despite three days on the road in a very primitive wagon. Djaq smiled in satisfaction as she inspected Marian's rapidly healing wound. She wasn't yet out of the woods, but she seemed well on her way to recovery.
"What are you smiling at?" Marian asked quizzically, noting the look on Djaq's face.
"At you. That you can heal in these conditions, you are a very strong woman."
Marian squeezed Djaq's hand. They had endured so much together. Marian and Djaq had become very dear to one another during their long voyage and each for the first time thought she knew what it felt like to have a sister. Neither had ever really known a close friendship with another of her sex. In many ways, both of them had always lived in a man's world, a world of war and politics.
"I wonder where he is now?"
"Who? Robin?"
"No. Guy." Marian did not try to hide the guilty expression on her face.
Djaq gave a shrug but stared under her eyelashes at Marian. This was the first time that Marian had asked about Guy. Perhaps it was the news, she thought to herself. They had intended to stop at the hideout first, but had met with several travelers who regaled them with tales of Sir Guy of Gisbourne and Vasey, and their new status as outlaws.
Djaq frowned at the absurdity of the question. "Who cares what happens to those two devils? After what Gisbourne did, he belongs in hell!" But something in Marian's face stopped her diatribe.
"What is it, Marian?"
Marian closed her eyes and lay back her head, and said nothing.
"It's those damnable dreams isn't it?"
Marian nodded. The dreams. They were more vivid now. Dreams of Robin, searching for Sir Guy. Sir Guy holding a bloody blade as Robin fell lifeless. And the curious, terrible expression on Sir Guy's face as he watched the life seep from Robin. Both men staring lifelessly into nothingness. Marian shuddered. She had seen it all before. Seen it through the desert haze in Acre, as Sir Guy stared at her dumbly, and at his blade jutting from her abdomen. The dream continued. She always arrived just one moment too late. Just one moment. A moment no longer than a child's cry, a moment with no end and no beginning.
Marian shivered and shook her head clear.
"Marian, Robin is perfectly safe."
Marian's mood brightened a little at the thought. Locksley was so close now. Surely she would know if Robin was in trouble. She wrapped herself in her best demeanor and pulled herself up to face Djaq.
"I'm sorry Djaq, really. You are absolutely right. It's hard to explain.. ." Her troubled eyes searched Djaq's clear countenance.
"Marian try to explain. Try."
Marian sighed and wrapped the woolen broadcloth closer. "Guy is like an angry animal right now, fighting for survival. As long as he thinks I am dead, he is capable of anything…."
Djaq laughed ruefully. "This is not news, Marian. You, of all people, should know that."
"I do. But I also know that he has a better nature."
Djaq's eyes flashed. She could scarcely believe that she was hearing this. Her lips compressed into a thin hard line. She said nothing.
"Djaq, I know I sound mad but I know Guy. I know the blackness inside him. But he has another side."
"Marian, what will it take for you to grow up? The man is a devil and he almost killed you. Now you are worried that he will kill Robin, and still you talk of his better nature?
Marian relaxed again and lay her head on the broadcloth cushion. How could she make Djaq understand? As long as Guy believed her dead, he would not hesitate to kill Robin?
Her eyes, always so expressive, were uncharacteristically guarded as she stared straight up at the lanolin stains on the woolen canvas roof. Somehow, they reminded her of clouds. She squeezed Djaq's hand and changed the subject.
"You knew we were betrothed, before he joined the Crusade?"
"Everyone knows that, Marian." Djaq returned abruptly, unwilling to be mollified.
Clouds. Marians thoughts turned back in time, to another day when she was so much younger. There had been clouds that day, too. Great dark clouds that flew across the sky as if fleeing an invisible pursuer. She remembered the scent of rain in the air. The scent of garden roses. Robin's strong hands as he pulled her through the meadow, flowers bent beneath the wind. The rain had no power then. She saw Robin's face as he pulled her to safety. Cascades of rain, drenching them both as they ran. Robin's strong frame visible as his linen shirt clung to his chest and arms. His eyes flashing for a brief second as they reached Knighton Hall and he fairly carried her to the warmth of the fire. And then his face when he told her…..
"Did you know that Robin released me, before he left?"
Djaq eyed Marian warily. "No, Robin does not discuss his innermost feelings, Marian."
Marian let her body relax. Her head bobbed along with the movement of the Wagon. She searched for words. Instead she stirred up memories.
"Robin was something of a local legend, even then. Anything he did, he naturally did better than anyone else. Before he had reached thirteen, he could outshoot any man in Nottinghamshire."
Marian threw a quick glance at Djaq. "Have you ever heard of William Marshall?
Djaq allowed that she had not.
"He is reputed the greatest Knight in England. He has served King Henry and taught King Richard, the only Knight never to be defeated in a tournament. But like most legends, not exactly true."
"What do you mean?"
Marian felt the words pour out. "It was because of Sir William that Robin left me for the Crusades. He happened to enter an Archery Tournament in Nottingham. Robin was just seventeen at the time and he was entered as well. I can still see Sir William's face when the tournament began, so sure of himself. The other archers were no competition, really. And then Robin took his turn. It was clear that Robin was gifted beyond belief with a bow. The locals all knew that but Sir William stood slackjawed when Robin hit the mark time after time. As the competition progressed, it came down to Robin and Sir William. Sir William went first. He asked that the targets be moved back fifty paces. Robin assented and Sir William took aim. His arrow struck dead center. He laughed and patted Robin's shoulder apologetically, sure that he had already won. And then it was Robins turn. Robin took dead aim and released his arrow. When the target was brought to the reviewing stand, the look of shock on Sir William's face was almost funny. Robin's arrow had split Sir William's down the middle. Robin, at seventeen, had beaten the greatest archer in England."
Marian sat up and peered into the darkened landscape. "I thought nothing of it at the time. A year passed and one day King Henry came to Nottingham, accompanied by Sir William. At that point Robin and I were betrothed and I thought nothing could take him from my side. We were together always, and I was sure that Robin loved me. And then the day came. Robin was teaching me the bow at the time. Usually, he was at my door early each morning. But on this particular day I waited and he did not appear. And so I went out to practice by myself. As mid-day approached, great dark clouds were gathered in the distance and I began to gather my things before the tempest hit. A light rain had already began to fall and as I turned to make my way back home, there he was. I completely forgot the rain when I saw the look on his face. Something was wrong and I asked him what it was. It was then that the storm hit and we made a run for Knighton Hall. The storm was quite upon us by then, and it all seemed so unreal. As we ran the rain and wind whipped around us, the world turned dark. But the look on Robin's face never changed. When we reached Knighton we were soaked through and we ran to the fire. It was then that he told me that Sir William had recommended him to King Henry, and that he had spent the morning electrifying the King with his skills. And that he was to go to the Holy Land with a small group of Nobles to prepare for the Third Crusade. He asked me if I would wait for him, and I said that I would."
"Wait, Marian", Djaq was confused. "Did you not just tell me that Robin released you?"
"And so he did. He asked me if I would wait, and when I said yes, he released me from our betrothal. It was only then that I told him I would never marry him if he was the last man on earth."
As she finished her story, Marian's tone had become quite matter of fact, as if relating a thing of no importance. Her eyes shown, proud and defiant.
"Marian you talk as if it meant nothing to you."
"I am not one of Robin's simpering women, begging for his love. He made his choice, and I made mine."
"And yet, here you are."
Marian's eyes flashed for a second as she took in Djaq's meaning. And then she dissolved into laughter at her own folly. "You're right. Here I am."
Djaq thought it best to turn the conversation. "How did you meet Robin?"
Marian seemed to consider the question. "I cannot remember NOT knowing Robin. But he never seemed to pay me any special attention, until I was perhaps thirteen. He and I spoke only rarely. And then suddenly, he began to appear at Knighton Hall, with Much at this side."
Marian pulled Djaq close. "I did not care for Robin at all then. I rather disliked him. He seemed so sure of himself. Much, even then, adored him! Robin and Much would sit by the fire and my father would fawn over them. Every night they were there, and it finally dawned on me that Robin was there for ME. I cannot say that I was pleased at first." Marian's face took on that guarded look again.
Djaq was not convinced. "Not pleased? Marian, you know that Robin is the only man you have ever loved. My god, you waited for the man for five years! Why can you not admit it? You were pleased at Robin's attentions. And you did wait."
Djaq had to suppress a laugh. The look on Marian's face was pure denial.
Marian furiously turned on her side, her back to Djaq. "That's all you know!" Marian seemed to consider the conversation was terminated but Djaq did not.
"Did you not remain unmarried while Robin was away?"
"Djaq, perhaps I am not the marrying kind."
Djaq did not bother to stifle her grin.
"You seemed to want marriage before Robin left, and must I point out the obvious? You are married to him now."
Marian offered no reply.
Djaq let it go, and lay on her back, a smile simmering beneath her placid exterior.
Marian thought she could see the shadowy outline of familiar lanscape framing Will's back, as he drove the wagon onward. Soon, they would be at Locksley. The thought made her anxious. Djaq was wrong. It was true, she had remained unmarried whilst Robin was gone. It was true that there had been suitors, more than a few. She HAD rejected them all, she reluctantly conceded. But there had been reasons.
Marian tossed and turned as the wagon drew nearer to Locksley. The moment she had dreamt of for three long months was almost there. Within an hour she would be reunited with Robin Hood. Her longing, more powerful than any thirst or hunger, would soon be assuaged. Her heart drummed inside her chest. She considered the situation, and the truth in Djaq's words hit home. It was true. She HAD waited for Robin when he was in the Holy Land! "And, god help me, I am waiting still. Is that not pathetic?" She thought to herself. "I pride myself on stength. I am my own self. And yet I have waited all these years for one man. I follow his example, I listen for his footsteps whenever I am alone. I pray for him and never for myself. I AM fooling myself. I am the very kind of woman that I despise. I AM weak."
"You are very wrong" Djaq's voice rose from behind her. Marian felt her cheeks go red. Had she been speaking aloud?
As if she could read Marian's mind, Djaq continued. "You babble in your sleep. And you are so wrong." Djaq turned to face Marian. "It takes a strength I do not think men have, to love completely. A man can love passionately, but then will turn and fight for his honor, or for his King, or for revenge, and in so doing tear apart his own world and that of his woman. Men call it bravery, and perhaps it is, perhaps it is something that sets women and men apart. But is it truly strength? Strength is the ability to hold on to what is most important, and never to let the world have it. Strong is what you are now, and what Robin was not when he left you for battle and glory. Was it strength when Robin returned and gave up everything, including you, once again? Men will call Robin a hero, and he is one, but there is another strength that is so much quieter. It gives no glory. You are Robin's touchstone. And he is yours"
Marian's eyes were luminous. "When he proposed, Robin said that together we are stronger".
"It is true, you belong together, he is your one and only love, Marian."
Marian grabbed Djaq's hand and looked into her eyes imploringly. "That is why Robin must not fight Sir Guy while he believes me dead, do you not see?"
"Marian do not worry, all will be well, we are almost home."
Marian composed herself and hugged Djaq.
"Actually, you never finished your story."
"There's nothing to tell. Robin continued to come, and each time he left Knighton I found myself waiting for the next day. Robin made me laugh, and I began to see another side of him. He had an easy way with everyone, and made people feel at ease." Marian stopped then and her face reddened, unsure if she said too much.
Djaq found herself engrossed in Marian's story and pushed just a little. "Was it then that you realized you loved him?"
Marian laughed and said almost to herself, "When I first realized that I loved him? Yes, perhaps. But the thing that truly made me love him was the way that he protected Much. Much was so gentle and different from the others. There were times when other boys would tease him or treat him cruelly…" Marian studied Djaq's face. Concern was written on it, and interest. She made her decision to tell all. "Do you want to know the day I knew I loved Robin?"
There was something in the way Marian said it, conspiratorially, and Djaq realized that she really wanted to know. "Go on, tell me" she nodded her head.
"It was May Day. I was with my father at Nottingham Castle for the maypole. He was Sheriff then, and it was a beautiful sunny day. People were dancing and singing and playing the fool in general. I found myself thinking of Robin, and suddenly there he was, with Much in tow. There was something in the way he looked at me. I felt myself drawn to him. We laughed and even ran around the maypole and from afar I saw my father smiling in approval. At that moment I realized that I was not seeking my father's approval, I really wanted to be with Robin."
Marian stopped then, clearly troubled. She could see it all as if it was yesterday. She did not wait for encouragement, but took a deep breath and continued. "There was a fight and Robin and I could see a young Norman Lord beating Much savagely. Before I could move, Robin had launched himself at the boy and knocked him to the ground. Robin mocked him and I shall never forget the words he said. 'Only the wicked take out their frustrations on those weaker than themselves.' The boy's face went red and he left. And despite myself, I knew then that I loved Robin. Because I loved what he stood for. Because when he was pushed he protected, and when the other boy was pushed, he turned to cruelty." Marian's voice trailed off sadly.. "That is why I love him. And not because he was an Earl's son, to whom my father was vassal."
"Is that why you did not care for Robin at first? Because he was the son of an Earl, and your father wished for the union?"
"That is part of it."
A thought suddenly occurred to Djaq. "How did you know the other boy "turned to cruelty" when he was pushed?"
Marian looked Djaq directly in the eye. "That's the other part, the other reason why I was reluctant to love Robin was because I once had an attachment to a much older boy, when I was very young. That boy was the Norman Lord who was humiliated by Robin."
Djaq's eyes were wide.
"I was only eight, Djaq. And the "boy" was already nearly a man. There was no relationship. But the boy happened to be Robin's worst enemy. I believed at the time that Robin's family had forced him to leave the country. That they had taken his estates and forced him into poverty. I held on to that anger for a long time."
"Marian, what are you telling me?"
"Do you not know already? The 'boy', the young Norman, was Sir Guy of Gisborne."
There was only the sound of the wagon and horses as Djaq absorbed what Marian had just told her. So many questions! So many answers. So this was why Marian seemed always to be convinced that Gisbourne had another side! And one question above all that Djaq had to ask. "Marian, does Robin know?"
"Is there anything to know? As I said, I was eight years old. Sir Guy's father had returned home a leper, and Sir Guy was cruelly treated by the other boys of Nottingham. There was already an antagonism between Sir Guy and Robin, who was perhaps eleven at the time. Sir Guy was perhaps eighteen when his father died and his estates were transferred to Robin's father, who was the vassal lord. From my point of view then, it was Robin's fault. I believed then, and I believe now, that had life not been so cruel to Sir Guy he would have been a far different person."
Djaq felt indignation. "Marian, how can you say that?"
Marian's faced was inscrutable. "I don't know. How odd that it is the decisions we make as children that stay with us forever."
"Marian, have you forgotten that it was Sir Guy who impaled you with his sword?"
Marian ignored Djaq's indignation. "I know. But you did not see his face when he did it. I did. I have never seen such sadness, such pain, in any man's face before."
"I have. You did not see Robin's face when he buried you."
The look on Marian's face made Djaq wish at once that she had not said it.
Just then, Djaq and Marian jumped as Will pulled aside the canvas. "Do you two want to sit here all night?"
The conversation had achieved its goal. Marian and Djaq looked around in shock to see that they had indeed arrived at Locksley Manor. They looked at one another and laughed.
Will tapped his foot and felt sure he would never understand women. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing Will, truly." Djaq hugged him and she and Marian stepped out of the wagon.
Marian's fears returned. Locksley manor looked unchanged. But the windows were lit by torches, and there seemed to be people in the great hall. Gisbourne's guard were nowhere to be seen. So it was true then. She followed Will and Djaq as they walked hand in hand and knocked on the door. She could barely swallow. Her heart thundered in her chest and she shook as she walked. How would he take it?
A chorus of voices ensued, and there was a muffling noise inside. Seconds seemed like hours. And suddenly the door opened and Thornton's face greeted the unsolicited visitors. His sleepy eyes grew wide as he recognized Will Scarlett, and the Saracen girl who had been part of Robin Hood's gang. "Will Scarlett and Djaq, is it? Come IN! He bellowed, his eyes red-rimmed. As the group moved inside the door, the light from his torch fell upon the third in their party. Thornton's mouth dropped open in disbelief as he beheld the face he knew so well and thought never to see again. He gasped, unable to speak.
Behind him another voice cried out in disbelief. "Will and Djaq?" Will, Djaq and Marian looked at one another as they recognized the voice immediately It was unmistakably Alan Adale. They heard the sound of steel and then Alan's face appeared. He pushed past Thornton and his face lit up as came face to face with Will, Djaq. And then he saw Marian. The color drained from his features as he stared in frank disbelief at the face of the woman that he had helped bury in the Holy Land. "Witchcraft!" He screamed and back away. His legs buckled and he sat down on the floor and looked up in wonder.
"Not witchcraft, Alan. It's me, Marian!"
Alan remained unconvinced. "But you're dead!"
Ever so gently, Marian knelt next to Alan and she put her hand on his shoulder. "No, Alan, I am no ghost. I was never dead, apparently. But I would have died, were it not for Djaq" Marian cooed soothingly as Will and Djaq moved to help Will to his feet.
Thornton led them to the great hall and they sat Alan down. A goblet of wine was produced and Alan downed it in one gulp. Emboldened by the wine of which this was most certainly not his first draught, he reached out and touched Marian's hair, and finding it solid he managed a weak smile. "I'm not tryin' to be funny, but you're alive!" Was all he could say.
Assured that Alan was coming round and would not die of fright, Marian turned her attention to the others in the room. There were only Thornton, Alan, and two servants. "Alan, where are the others?"
It was then that the horrible truth of the situation hit Alan and he remembered why he was at Locksley Manor. He looked at Thornton. Marian realized suddenly that Thornton's eyes were not red from lack of sleep, but from tears. The sense of dread that she had felt earlier returned with a vengeance. Thornton dismissed the other servants and they ran from the room, their heads bowed. With horror, Marian realized that they had been crying as well!
"Alan, where is Robin?" A horrible premonition, too horrible to be real, crawled out of Marian's mind.
Alan coughed and looked at Will. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again.
Will and Djaq drew closer to Marian, their faces instantly tight.
"Alan. WHERE. IS. ROBIN?" Marian repeated again, fighting to keep her voice even. Her eyes darted about. She did not wait for an answer but turned to run up the stairs, to the Solar. Alan jumped to his feet and caught her in his hands. He turned her face toward his.
Marian began to shake. "Alan?"
Alan felt tears boiling from someplace down deep. He grabbed Marian and tried to say the words, but nothing came out.
Marian heard a cry that sounded for all the world like a wounded animal. She did not know from whence it came. She stood as still and silent as the ghost she had just been taken for. The world did a dance in her head.
"How, Alan?" The words were as cold as marble.
Alan gritted his teeth and tasted salty tears. "Guy of Gisbourne."
She knew the answer before he said it. The world began to spin. All that she remembered later was hands reaching for her, as she hit the floor.
