When Lukas walked back into the ward, everything looked as he had left it; the same beds; the same Emil with Mathias sitting at his side, squeezing his hand gently. He looked up at Lukas, something about his eyes off. Lukas put little thought to it.

Mathias got up, straightening his back. He approached him, putting two hands on his shoulder, bending over slightly to be on complete eye level with the shorter boy. Up close as they were, Lukas had a proper chance to look at his face; tangled light blonde hair obscuring blue eyes dulled with age and experience, and skin sprinkled with contrasting freckles. He swore they were never there before, but he could have been mistaken.

Mathias seemed to be inspecting him as closely as Lukas was. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but was cut off by Lukas taking his hands from his shoulders, speaking first.

"I need to go wait for someone downstairs," his voice sounded hoarse to his own ears, wondering if Mathias was able to pick it up too. He had had to stay in the room for a little while longer than intended, collecting the pieces he had allowed to fall apart in the few minutes he spent there. It couldn't have been longer than a quarter of an hour, but he felt like Mathias could tell like something was wrong, even if he triple checked that his face was as pale as usual, the redness around his eyes gone. The only indication that anything was wrong was his voice and yet... From the moment he walked in, Mathias' eyes were on him, anxious.

"I'll go with you."

"No, stay here. Emil... keep my brother safe. Please." Mathias seemed to be shaken by that. Lukas didn't beg, and yet he had. If it meant looking out for his little brother, he'd give up all his pride, lose everything just to protect him. Mathias let out a shaky breath.

"Alright. Though I'm sure he'd rather have you here than me."

"That's not true," Lukas whispered as he exited, his hand lingering on the door frame. He looked so vulnerable, so broken. So tired. Then he was gone.


The Norwegian twiddled with his thumbs as he sat on the uncomfortable red seats in the front of the hospital. He had been sitting there for so long that the receptionist who he didn't recognise (she must have been new), had started up a one-sided conversation with him, even offering him coffee which he declined. The coffee in this place sucked, though he didn't tell her that, and she seemed to silently understand.

He was thankful for her chattering in the background, however little he responded to her. The buzz was comforting in it's own way. Somewhere along the line she had sat down beside him, blonde hair cupping her face. Lukas looked at her in surprise, then down at his hand where she was writing something in black felt-tip. It was her number, he realised when she finished, her smile reaching her green eyes. He scanned the number, faking a small smile and nodding, letting out a small "thanks". He felt incredibly awkward, her eyes on him. He couldn't help but unintentionally shift slightly away from her.

It wasn't that she was unattractive - on the contrary, she was beautiful; lips as pink and soft looking as rose petals; eyes green like peridots and hair as yellow as gold. And yet something felt off. He wondered what had given her the idea he was interested in her.

She nodded, smiling brighter, going back to her seat at the front desk, only mouthing "call me" as she left. He could feel her eyes on the back of his head. He shifted again. Hurry up, he thought, not looking away from the doors.

A man who looked about Mathias' age, maybe slightly older walked in then, a teenage boy at his side. They were asian, the older with long dark hair in a ponytail resting on his shoulder, the younger with what Lukas could only describe as a scene kid hairstyle. The younger's eyes caught sight of him, and he said something to his guardian, the two heading over to the blonde. He stood up, shaking hands with the man. They introduced each other, and he found out he was Leon's older brother, Yao. He found he had to look down at him slightly, being a few inches taller than him, which was a welcomed change.

He led them to the ward, the three walking in near silence. The moment Lukas opened the door, all expression on Leon's face fell. He walked slowly over to the bed, where Mathias sat watching over the boy. He vacated his chair to allow the younger to sit by his friend.

"Hey," he said. He stayed silent, either unable to thing of anything more to say or to embarrassed to say it. Mathias had joined Lukas and Yao at the door, the three watching the scene wordlessly. Leon licked his lips.

"It's been too long..." he whispered, his shoulders dropping, hands clenching into small fists. "If you can hear me, please, just... one sign. Anything." Nothing. The small boy moved his gaze, golden eyes on the floor. He sighed. He muttered something that Lukas couldn't catch, before looking back at the silver haired boy lying under the covers, pale as a ghost would be.

"It's not the same without you, Em. Your seat is always empty in class and I have no one to joke around with. Please, I... I need you back." He reached out to touch Emil's hand, and in that moment, although Lukas couldn't tell if he had imagined it, the heart rate monitor seemed to have showed something more than it had in the past months.

Emil's heart had skipped a beat.


Mathias had decided that it was best for them to go home, to which Lukas obliged. Mathias said goodbye to Leon and Yao who had decided to stay a while longer at the hospital. Nothing had changed since the heart monitor incident that Lukas was now sure was just a mistake in the apparatus. It had to be. Emil wasn't any closer to waking up than before Leon's visit. There was no way.

He sighed as they walked through the front door. Mathias picked up on this, sending him an inquisitive glance which he shrugged off. The house was still, as it often seemed to be these days. For the first time in months he wondered where Berwald and Tino were.

Ambling to the door to the lounge, creaking it open. He peeked inside, immediately finding who he was looking for. The two boys lay on the sofa, Berwald's glasses sliding off his nose, Tino's hair a mess as he rested against the other's chest. They must have been exhausted to have fallen asleep against each other on a summer evening like this. Hanatamago yapped at him, and he shushed her, closing the door slowly again.

The sun wasn't setting for another few hours, but he told the Dane goodnight anyway, deciding to go to bed early. He closed his curtains, slipping into his pajamas in the dimmed light of the late summer sun. His bed had never felt more comforting and welcoming than it did then as he slipped under the duvet, closing his eyes.

The darkness surrounded him. For a moment he couldn't see anything, everything black. He couldn't hear anything either, painfully aware of his breathing. He turned on his phone, the brightness of the screen blinding him. Half past 2 AM. He threw his head back into the pillow, rubbing his eyes. He never woke up this early. Just as he was about to throw the duvet over his head and attempt to go back to sleep, he heard movement in the room next door. He froze. Slipping out from under his covers, he walked out into the corridor.

He hated the dark. He didn't mind what he could see, it didn't bother him. But what he couldn't frightened him stiff. He took a breath, stepping out. Judging it was safe, he crept over to the other's door, listening. Something was definitely moving in there. He felt a wave of worry wash over him. Carefully, he opened the door.

The Norwegian stood in the dark doorway, idle, watching Mathias sitting on the floor, sifting through the contents of a small, black shoe box with the letters "M.M.K" written in silver pen on the lid. Lukas furrowed his brows, tilting his head to try to see better. He wasn't sure if it was just a trick of the moon and torch light but the Dane's shoulders shook, his breathing seeming shallow.

He hesitated, walking slowly into the room, the floor board creaking under his weight. Mathias looked at him, though Lukas could not see his face in the darkness. He knelt down beside him, no words spoken by either of them. Soundless, he felt Mathias' head fall onto his shoulder, burying his face into his shirt, the shaking of his body increased. Lukas froze before placing an unsure hand on his back in a silent embrace, rubbing circles. He could feel warm tears staining his top but he didn't care. He pulled him closer, awkwardly, slowly, Mathias' hands digging into the fabric on his back, desperate. Lukas pressed his lips to the top of the other's head before resting his chin on it, his eyes scanning the items on the floor as he continued to caress the other's back calmingly. He couldn't make it out clearly but it looked like pieces of paper among other things – photos?

Mathias pulled away and, in the dim light, Lukas could see the dark streaks where the tears had slid down his cheeks, his blue eyes dulled. Lukas lifted his hand to brush some of Den's hair away from his eyes, being stopped by his large hand clamping around his, pausing over his warm, damp skin. His muscles tensed momentarily, before relaxing slightly, studying Mathias' face, his eyes closed. They stayed still, the clock on the bedside table ticking quietly beside them, the only clue that time hadn't stopped.

It had been at least two minutes before either spoke or even moved a muscle, content in the silence surrounding them. Mathias' eyes fluttered open, resting on Lukas' face. The look in them was deep, pained. It was one that Lukas had never seen in Mathias' person, or had ever thought he would.

Freeing the other's hand, he turned to the box again, picking up the photos, eyes intently on them, shielded by his long, blonde lashes. He took a shaking breath of air.

"My... my mum, s-she..." he was shaking again, unable to look up as he spoke. Lukas feared he would start crying again. He gently took the photos from him, to which he did not resist. There was a small boy who he knew was Mathias, along with a much younger Érik, like when Lukas first met him, and a woman, her hair long, messy, eyes bright blue, so full of life like that of someone he knew. Those identical eyes looked much different now in the silver light entering through the window, filling him with a feeling of longing. Those weren't the eyes he knew.

"What happened...?"

"She... she was in a car accident. I don't remember her that well but..." he laughed solemnly. "My first memory is of her lying in a coffin. She was surrounded by clovers – tacky, I know but... they were her favourite." He licked his cracked lips. "She looked so peaceful. Of course I didn't understand at the time." He sighed, before trailing off. Lukas nodded, unsure what to say, how to reply. Mathias probably cried like this every night for over ten years, mourning a mother he only remembered as a fleeting memory of a woman with blonde hair, lying in eternal sleep. He looked at him again, quietly. He hurt so deeply, damaged at his core. And he smiled. He laughed so loud and smiled so bright he challenged the sun. He doubted he had ever shared this with anyone. Locked in your own mind, with pain so deep it scars your soul, not letting anyone see, not letting anyone help. That sounded incredibly lonely.

Mathias smiled sadly. "She was apparently in a coma before she died. Emil... It happening to Emil wrecked me. I lost a mother I barely knew. For you... you could be losing the only family you have left. I care for you both and... it hurts." He laughed, a feeble attempt at filling the grave atmosphere in the room.

Then he was pulled into a tight, unexpected embrace, Lukas' face in his shirt. Mathias blinked a few times, surprised, the tears still glazing his vision. Lukas said nothing, and neither did Mathias. And that was enough. Because sometimes a silence has the same weight as a million words.

After all, even the most beautiful things can be broken.


Boom. 3rd chapter in two weeks. I almost forgot how much I loved writing. c':

I have a lot more time now so expect more very soon!

Tell me what I could improve on/what you liked it makes my day ~