A/N: This one was both enjoyable and challenging to write. I am going to try and leave the Eclipse Series alone, at least for a couple days, to let it all sink in. To Star, you brought up a very interesting thought. I'm glad you asked that.
Adversus is latin for 'against' or 'facing'.
Adversus
The month that had followed the disastrous trip to Ventosus had passed with her running herself ragged with the dealings of her country. She did not sleep much and when she did, they were filled with dreams. No, not dreams. They had been nightmares. Nightmares of the reality that was her life. Nightmares that replayed those awful, heart wrenching moments that had happened during their last trip. The days where she felt like her entire existence had twisted off its axis and she was spinning out of control.
So, the only way she felt that she could ground herself was through keeping her mind so preoccupied with the things within her kingdom that she could not think at all when the nights came. The nights when she would return to her rooms and see his jacket waiting for her. His jacket, that she had stolen in a fit of rebelliousness. It sat there, wrapped around the back of her favorite chair, reminding her of the man she loved so much. The man that had thrown her aside as if it had not been the most agonizing thing that he could have done. She did not even understand why. Why he had done it in the first place. There was no reason, that she could think of, that would compel him to do such a thing. It just did not make sense. No sense at all.
Noctis was not one to make such decisions lightly nor sporadically. She knew that there must have been a good reason behind it. There must have been. There was no other explanation for him to do it. He was not good at pretending with her. As much as she had wanted to believe that the blissful memories from the months before had simply been him pretending, it just did not seem possible. Not when what they had, had been so profound. Not when she had seen the way he had always looked at her. Not when he made her feel as if her world was complete whenever he was there. No, there was something wrong. As much as it hurt her to think that whatever the reason had been, that he had not even thought to ask her, her opinions on it, she knew that he must not have had a choice.
More often than not, she found herself staring at his black leather jacket. Sometimes her eyes just flew towards it when she was thinking too hard about any particular thing. She did not even realize she did it all that often when one of her ladies in waiting had kindly offered to get it cleaned for her. She not had the heart to get it cleaned. Not when the smell of him lingered within its lining. It would have been devastating to lose that scent of his. The scent that she loved so much. Not that she had taken the opportunity to sniff it, but his scent had been the only comforting thing when she had worn it. She knew that it would be gone even if she never took advantage of smelling it again.
It was not until a week before their trip to Sol's city of Aeterna Lux Solis, commonly referred to as Lux Solis, that a thought had come to her. The thought had literally stopped her in her own tracks and her eyes darted towards the jacket yet again. The thought had given her pause and had given her hope all in one and she felt like her heart had reason to beat again.
The jacket.
She should have realized it before. The jacket was Noctis' message to her. It was his way of trying to tell her something. Noctis loved this jacket. He wore it every chance he got. He preferred it over everything else that was in his wardrobe. If not his suit, he wore the jacket. It was his every day. It was a staple in his personality and he had not even tried to get it back. He could have easily teleported into her room that night and taken it but he hadn't. He could have asked for it back and even been as rude as having Vires ask for it back for him, but he hadn't. The very fact that he hadn't meant a lot. It meant so much and she had been too blinded by the exterior to see it before. Yes, he could very easily have made another one when he got home but there was just no replacing such a genuine, tailor made, worn to perfection piece of clothing. Some things just could not be replicated nor replaced. The jacket was one of those things. It was one of a kind and he had let her keep it.
You did not let someone you did not care about, no, someone you did not want to be friends with, keep something that meant so much to you. Noctis of all people. Noctis who kept the things he loved closest to him. Noctis who was very sentimental, even though he would deny that fact quicker than he'd activate his rune. No other reason made sense that he would let her keep it so easily. If he had asked for it back she would have refused to give it to him anyway, but he had not even tried. It could not have been simple cowardice on his part either. The cowardly way would have been sneaking into her rooms while she was asleep and stealing it back, which he had not done.
Blue sapphire eyes blinked as they regarded the black jacket again. It had not moved since she had placed it there upon her return. She did not even have a reason for placing it where it was. The decision to take it had been so sudden and so out of character for her, that she had not even considered what she was going to do with it once she returned home. Yet, she had kept it with her all through the trip back to Tenebrae and as soon as she had gotten to her rooms, had simply draped it over the back of her chair and hadn't touched it again. It had served as a reminder of the man that had broken her heart and now, it was a testament to the fact that she did not know what was really going on. The jacket, the precious jacket had given her hope. The jacket had told her that he loved her and that was worth fighting for. Whatever reasons he had for pushing her away was something that she was going to have to solve for him. Because it was obvious that he had not thought of any other way to handle things.
Then, she was faced with a most troublesome dilemma. How was she going to make Noctis tell her what was really going on? Going about it the blunt and straight forward way would not work. Getting in his face and demanding an answer would only make him withdraw further into himself. The trick was to bring things forward again and not leaps backwards, as they were now. She would have to drawn him out and entice him. She was just not sure how she was going to go about doing that. For she had to do it just right.
Noctis had seemed very tightly wound that week and it would not mix well to his already tightly controlled nature for her to tease him. She had to entice him in a way that he would not completely lose his senses. Not that she would not like to see that happening but it would not be conducive to his telling her what was going on. Teasing him with her feminine wiles would only make his physical control snap, not his mental control. She needed to know what was in his mind and not just play the temptations of his body. She had to be tricky and she had to make it look completely innocent so as not to alert him. She supposes this is made easier now that he had severed their mental connection. He would not be able to read her thoughts unless she could be privy to his.
She had a week to prepare for her visit to Sol's country and it had been a complete surprise when she had received an official invitation to stay an extra week at the beach residence. Sol's personal beach residence, to be exact, the week after the official visit of the Crystal Bearers. Her initial response had been a flat and immediate decline, but after some thought she changed her mind. It was summer now and what better place to take a vacation than at the beach? But it was only after she made sure that Astra could stay with her, that she had agreed to stay another week in Lux Solis. There was no need to start any more tabloid fodder when it was not completely necessary. Right now they were ablaze at the "break up" of their star couple. To avoid the reporters on that particular subject had been hard enough. How they even knew that, was an equal cause for bafflement.
Given what had happened between Noctis and Sol last month, it was obvious that things between the Solis party and the Nihilsomno party would be tense. She was still surprised and delighted when she saw that all three of Noctis' brothers had come to accompany him on this trip. Sapien was his right hand man and would demonstrate how serious they were about making amends. She still cannot understand why Noctis had shown such a lack of self control when fighting Sol. It was just not like him. Another thing to add to the growing list of things that Noctis was doing that was completely out of character. She did not catch a glimpse of Noctis himself though, but she was sure that he was already there somewhere.
Her initial happiness at seeing the three men together again was replaced with a weary apprehension. She had no idea how they were going to treat her. Those worries were somewhat alleviated when Sapien approached her.
"Stella," he greeted somewhat uncomfortably.
"Sapien," she replied a bit cautiously.
"I, uh, I wanted to ask…" he hesitated and she felt a flash of indignation flare inside of her.
"If you are here to ask for his jacket back, you can tell him that he needs to ask me himself," she snapped.
"Jacket?" he asked as if he looked completely perplexed for a second before he seemed to understand what she was talking about. A smile broadens on his face as he looked back at her. "So, you have his jacket."
"You, you did not know?" she asked perplexed.
"Noct didn't mention where it went. I was beginning to wonder why he hadn't been wearing it but hadn't had the thought to ask."
"He... did not mention it?" she asked as she began to feel her hope renewed.
"Not to me," was the reply.
Which meant, not to anyone. She felt her heart lift. Her suspicions were being confirmed.
"There she is!" she heard cried just before she's hugged from behind and lifted. She felt the breathe squeeze out of her as her feel are lifted from the ground.
"Get off her," came a gruff reply not far away.
"Des!" she managed to cry and her corresponding laugh is genuine and easy.
He puts her down so she can whirl to face him and Vires.
"It is so good to see you all together!" she cried and she meant it. Their smiling faces are such a reassurance.
"Missed me that much during the last trip eh?" asked Des with a grin.
"Sort of," she replied and smirks back at him. "I did have Vires afterall."
She winked at Vires and he blushes a little as he winked back.
"Ouch!" cried Des as he clutches his heart. "Already moved on!"
"It's what happens when you neglect a girl," she said playfully.
"Um, say Stell," said Des as he suddenly turns serious.
She braced herself for his question, but Sapien cuts him off.
"It's really stupid of us, but we were wondering… what happened between you and Noctis," he said and she almost can't believe that question had come out of his mouth.
"Wah, wait a minute. None of you know what happened?" she asked because if anyone, Sapien would know Noctis' thoughts.
"He's been Noct times a hundred this last month. Can't get a word out of him," stated Des with a worried frown on his face.
She looked at Vires. He had been there when it had all started to happen.
"He never said anything to me either," confessed Vires. "I tried during the last trip but I couldn't get anything out of him. I just thought that maybe you guys had gotten into a fight."
"But even I asked you what was wrong with him," she stated.
Vires merely shrugs. Her eyes reached Sapien's.
"What has he been like this past month?" she asked.
"Like Des says, Noct times a hundred," Sapien answered.
"And you were hoping I had a better idea?" she asked.
Three heads nod at her.
"The three of you are his brothers. He does not even want to be friends with me," she stated.
"Um, sorry to break this to you, Stell," said Des. "But I wouldn't want to be friends with you either… oof! Hey!"
"What he means to say is," said Sapien with a roll of his eyes. "Noctis would want to be more than just your friend."
"So if anyone can reach him, it would be you, Stella," said Vires.
Her eyes blinked several times as she tried to process this. It was what she had been hoping but it was a completely different feeling to have these men tell her so. "He has cut me off from him. He closed our connection."
"If you can't reach him, then he's going to keep being Noct times a hundred permanently," said Des.
"I do not think I am the right person," she said looking at Sapien.
"Noct loves that jacket. He let you keep it without saying anything," pointed out Sapien.
"No way! Stell, you're the one that has his jacket?" asked Des as he shared a look with Vires.
"Maybe he just could not ask for it back?"
"Pffttt," sayed Des with a shake of his head. "He's Noct. He has no problem asking for his stuff back and he doesn't care about being rude about it either."
"Just to you," commented Vires with his large arms crossed against his chest.
"Makes no difference!" protested Des.
"You're the one, Stella," reassured Sapien.
"I, I really do not think I can. He was very clear." But, had he really been completely clear?
"I think you already know you are the only one that can break through to him," said Sapien.
She gave them all a shy smile. It had been her plan to get him to break afterall.
"What do you think I should do?"
"Look really hot?"
Sapien let out a long suffering sound and rolled his eyes before replying. "I think it'll come to you. If its not natural he'll be sure to pick up on it."
"I, I really have no words," she said. What was there that she could have said? "I thought that the three of you would stop speaking to me."
"Eh?" asks Des. "Why would you think that?"
"Well, I…"
"We are his friends, not his lapdogs," commented Sapien with a smirk.
"Though we'd probably have to do that if he asked," added Des with a pained look on his face.
"Noct knows he's in the wrong here, which is why he hasn't told any of us what's really going on," said Vires.
His logic did make sense.
"Won't he be angry that you are all speaking to me?" she asked.
"I think he's been more angry at himself," said Sapien with a shake of his head.
"Next time don't be such a stranger, Stell," said Des, as he gave her a wink. "This would have been over much quicker if you hadn't been avoiding us too."
It was not as if they called each other but she understood what he meant and smiled she felt her real smile returning.
"Are all of you after the same girl?" a familiar voice asked behind them. It froze them all where they stood.
She could feel the shiver make its way through her spine and her heart began to race. It took all her will to stop the lovely shiver from showing.
"A guy's gotta try," answered Des easily.
She turned around to look at him for the first time in a month and had to bite her lip to keep her emotions under control. He looked so very different and yet completely the same. She could see that there was a little bit of her Noctis hidden underneath all that carefully blank expression. The warmer climate had him in pitch black jeans and a black tee instead of his usual leather. He was also not wearing a replica of his jacket. His eyes looked tired but his face looked tight around the edges. It was that control that he fought every minute of every day to keep in place. It made her ache for him.
"Hello," he said and its that same flat tone that he had used before, when all this had started. They had all been together then, as well.
"Hello," she answered with a slight tilt of her head. She was sure that he could hear how fast her heart was beating.
"How is your back?" he asked but it sounded like he wanted to ask her something else.
"The cuts were not deep," she barely managed to answer through the torrent of emotions within her. "They healed quickly."
He nodded in response and looked at Sapien. "The council of Solis is waiting for us."
"I'll be right there," said Sapien as he looked at Stella again. "See you later, Stella."
"Bye, Sapien," she answered with a smile.
The two of them are about to walk away when Noctis turned around again to look at the three of them.
"It takes two of you to make sure she stays safe?" he asked and though the tone is flatter than normal, there was a hint of a joke in there.
"Oh well, gorgeous girl such as Stella, one can't take too many chances," grinned Des cheekily.
Noctis did not grin back, but he merely turned back around and walked away with Sapien without another word.
Stella watched him as he left and heard a snicker coming from both Des and Vires.
"What?" she asked looking at the both of them.
"See? Right there," said Des proudly. "If he didn't want to be more than friends with you he wouldn't have let us hang around you."
"But he did not say anything," gaped Stella.
Des and Vires shared another knowing look. "Looks like there is hope," said Vires and they both had looked relieved.
"Come on, Stell," said Des as he offered her his arm. "Did you bring a lot of your ladies in waiting with you?"
The laugh that escaped her rang through the halls as she took his arm and Vires' arm and the three of them approached her party. In the last month, laughter had not come easily and to have it again was a gift. She was so very grateful to those wonderful men for giving it back to her. The trip had actually started to look hopeful.
There were no meetings to be had for the other Crystal Bearers. Things were still pretty intense between Nihil and Solis. So the members of those two parties were the ones that were holed up in meetings for the rest of the day. Which meant that the other Crystal Bearers were free to enjoy the sun and sands of the many beaches. Sol had organized catered tents and shaded cabanas just for them right by the water. She was not sure where Vires and Des had disappeared to after they had escorted her to her rooms earlier. Something about boy stuff, which she did not believe for a second. She just hoped that they didn't get into too much trouble, whatever they were really doing.
"The sun is so very different here," commented Astra as they are both lazily lounged out in the sun.
Astra was wearing a deep green bikini that brought out the redness in her hair. She looked like a forest nymph with golden tanned skin and long red hair. Her gentle features were serene as she basked in the rays of the sun. She was such a unique beauty. Procella had simply stated that she did not do the sun and had promptly disappeared in one of the cabanas and closed the curtains tightly behind her. She had not even had a chance to see what the other woman had been wearing under her thick robes. Vitrum and Mira were off at the Boardwalk, buying candies for everyone and the men were debating politics, again.
"It feels good to be out in the sun at all," commented Stella as she lay beside her.
"Stella," called Astra and she could hear her friend turn towards her in the sand. "Have you spoken to him?"
It caused Stella to open her eyes and look back at her green ones. "Yes, briefly."
"How did he treat you?"
"He was courteous."
"Have you figured out why?"
"I am going to work on that," she answered evenly.
"Have you thought about Sol?"
Her blue eyes looked at her friend in surprise. "What do you mean?"
"Sol seems to genuinely fancy you," said Astra. "Maybe you could give him a chance."
"Why would you say such a thing?"
"He did ask you to stay an extra week and you actually agreed."
"Only on the condition that you could stay with me," she protested.
"It would be another week in his company. It could be taken that you have started to return his interest."
"I have no interest in Sol that way. Noctis is the one that I want."
"What would Noctis think about it?"
"He… well he is not in a position right now to tell me where I can take my holiday."
"You do not care how he will react when he finds out?"
Maybe just a little, she admitted to herself. "I cannot rightly say."
"Noctis has been acting so strangely. The fact that he beat Sol so bad makes me frightened of him," the other girl shivered as she recalled the beating.
"Noctis is not dangerous," defended Stella. "He could have easily killed Sol, but he did not."
Astra gave her disbelieving look.
"Noctis has just not been himself. I know there was a reason why he did what he did. He just cannot easily explain such things."
She watched as the other girl smiled knowingly. "I was just checking to see if you had any doubts," Astra said with a giggle.
"You, you really had me riled up with that," said Stella with a laugh of relief. How easy it was for her to instantly defend him, no matter how he was treating her. "Does that make me pathetic?"
"No," answered her friend. "It just means you are in love. There is nothing pathetic in that."
"Which brings me to you," said Stella with a grin.
"Me?" asked Astra as a look of surprise took over her features.
"You have not told me what has been happening with your male suitor."
"My male suitor?"
Stella looked around to make sure nobody was within hearing distance before elaborating. "Fulgur?"
She watched as her friends eyes widen considerably and it made her giggle.
"Now you really have to tell me details," she said with a grin.
"You even grin like Noctis does," commented Astra with a grin of her own.
Stella felt her face turn red and she could not have even blamed the sun for it.
It had been then that Sol and Noctis had come to join them on the beach, leaving the conversation partially unfinished as Stella became too overwhelmed by his mere presence. Oh but he was gorgeous. She realized that she had not had ample opportunity to notice his shirtless form when they had, had their moment in the hot springs. She had been too preoccupied with the scar that ran along the middle of his back. Too preoccupied with thoughts of how painful that shot must have been. She was not distracted now, as the men decided to go surfing along the high waves. She took advantage of hiding behind her dark sunglasses to stare at him. After watching the men ride a few of the enchanting waves, the girls decided they had wanted to give it a try. Even Procella had come out of her cabana with an interest in trying.
Sol had been quick to offer his assistance to her. As he was the most qualified to teach her, she had reluctantly let him. Then everyone had paired off. She tried her best not to look over at Noctis as Sol climbed behind her onto the longboard. She tried not to look like she was really enjoying herself as Sol showed her how to follow the movements of the water as he rode with her during her first successful ride. She tried her best to not smile up at Sol in gratitude. It just did not turn out that way. It had been fun and Sol had really been a good teacher. It had been fun to be having fun when she had spent the last month so depressed.
The days that followed seemed to have the same schedule. They spent their mornings in their meetings and debated and learned about the problems plaguing the people of the country. Their afternoons were spent outside, where they learned many different types of games and local dances. They walked along the outdoor markets and tasted the local delicacies of the natives. It had been by far, the most relaxing and enjoyable of their trips. The nights were filled with dinners along the beach and over the water on top of the piers that consisted of all manners of sea dwelling creatures. They had silver moons whose reflections stretched across the glossy waters. The nights had been made for romance and it made her sad for her own romance. Though it had been nice to see the blooming ones of those around her. She spent the nights watching the couples as they danced around the other in gentle flirtations and hesitant touches. They ended evenings hand in hand as they snuck away to spend secret moments alone and she felt the loneliness the most then.
Even in the times that she had managed to catch Noctis alone, he had been nothing but pleasant and polite, but still distant. He was not as abrupt as he had been before but he was still pushing her away. There had been moments where she thought she had heard his voice in her head, but as soon as she heard it, it was gone. Those moments had given her more hope. That she could catch snippets of his voice meant that his control was slipping. So the pressure to talk to him had lessened when she realized that she did not really need to speak to him to make him lose it. All she needed to do was be herself and do her own quiet dance around him. Tempting him innocently with subtle words and gentle movements. She just needed to nudge very gently, little by little and he would come to her. They could not keep this up forever. Noctis was as drawn to her as she was to him. It would not be too long, she hoped. She just had to exercise the patience that she had been working on, to let it be him that would come to her because her approaching him had always ended with unsatisfactory results. In those moments, where she had felt frustrated at her lack of progress and wanted to give up, Sapien, Des and Vires had always been there to offer her encouragement. She needed to hold on to her hope.
Her dreams had began those nights to sweet moments of days passed. The moments that she and Noctis had shared. Their scars. Their insecurities. Their mutual failures. Their triumphs. Whatever was theirs and theirs alone. Then the dreams had shifted all together on the night before their last day, when Noctis' beloved form seemed to have been replaced by Sol's bright one. Instead of Noctis holding her and kissing her it had been Sol. Instead of Noctis sharing those moments with her, it had been Sol. It had seemed so wrong and so unnatural that it had woken her up in the middle of the particularly dark night. She had jumped up and out of her dream and thought she could have sworn she had seen a shape instantly disappear beside her. She would have believed herself mistaken if not for the chill that had seemed to permeate within the room as she sat there, upon her bed. Someone had definitely been in there.
Those thoughts would not let her rest again until she got up to investigate. Only to find that Noctis' jacket had disappeared. It was gone and no matter how hard and how many times she looked through her belongings, it was no where to be found. She felt the pain of losing him all over again at its loss. So he had come to get his precious jacket back afterall. The thought was as devastating as it was soul crushing and she did no more that night, but sit in the middle of her floor sobbing. She sobbed until the light of the sunrise crept through her curtains and onto her prone, pathetic form.
The next morning, which had marked the last day of their official trip and signaled the start of her vacation, she had been in a rage. How funny that devastation could so easily turn into outrage. She was so tired of being so forlorn. It was time to get angry. He had broken into her rooms to steal something from her and he had not been within his rights to do so. True, the jacket was his by definition but that was not the point. The point was that he had come into her rooms without permission, thereby violating her privacy and taking something that she should have had every right to keep. The morning and the following afternoon had been spent with her in a fit of indignation and simmering anger. That night, their last night, she was going to have words with Noctis, no matter how indulgent he was feeling.
Sol had prepared that night to be a special night. To bid his fellow Crystal Bearers a fond farewell, he had spared no expense on their last dinner together in his country. A yacht that had all the amenities that one could think of was decorated and displayed to take them all on a cruise as they ate and drank and danced their last night away. The moon was the shape of a crescent above them as they had set sail early into the evening to watch the sunset. It would have all been considered magical had it not been for her sour mood.
The meal had been beautiful to behold and delicious to the taste. It made her wish that she had, had more of an appetite to enjoy all the delicacies of the sea. Yet, there was some comfort in the fact that she had another week to try these again. Despite the obvious, the week had been far more enjoyable than the week they had all spent together previously. None of which was anyone's fault but Noctis'. Everyone was more relaxed and even though Noctis' mood had not entirely improved since the last time, the environment called for nothing but. They had all come so weary and they were now uplifted and ready. Everyone except her and Noctis, but she was not selfish enough to wish her current misery on anyone and was happy to have it instead of them.
She was currently sitting beside Sol with Astra on her other side and Grando on the other side of her. Noctis, Sapien, Des and Vires were across from them. Sapien and Grando had no trouble speaking with each other about the latest handhelds that were being manufactured and were competing about who would get it before the markets even distributed it. Des was a mix of jokes that had Astra giggling nonstop beside her, while Vires looked about ready to head slap his friend. Noctis and Sol seemed to be in some sort of silent battle of wills and had been silent for the majority of the meal. It was not a new thing considering they were always at odds. So she did not think much of it. She had opted to remain quiet and offer Des an appreciative smile for his attempts at making her laugh. Oh how she wished he could stay to cheer her up in the next week.
"That reminds me," said Sol matter of factly as he tapped his finger against his chin. "What would you enchanting ladies like to do first tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?" asked Sapien as he cut off his conversation with Grando.
"We're all leaving tomorrow," stated Des.
"Stella has decided to stay with me for another week," stated Sol with a smug smile on his perfect lips.
"With Astra," she clarified as she suddenly felt very shy with the four pairs of eyes looking so intently at her.
"Why are you staying another week, Stell?" asked Des. The confusion clearly written on his endearing face.
"I thought it would be nice to have a real vacation for once," she said and she wondered just where her anger had gone to when the very source of it was looking at her like she had just betrayed him. "It is summer and where better to spend it?"
"In Nihilsomno," answered Des so quickly and so truthfully that she almost smiled.
"I invited her to stay within my home on the outskirts of the city," remarked Sol, emphasizing the word 'my', as he smiled his most charming smile at her. "I was most thrilled when she accepted. I will be sure to show you all the most exciting sights."
"Your bedroom wouldn't be on that list would it?"
"Des!" she cried as her hand flew to her mouth in shock.
She felt the entire room grow exceptionally silent. All eyes were trained on all the occupants of their table.
There was a very long moment of silence that followed. A few of the lights on the chandelier were flickering. The plates, cutlery, glasses, and vases laid out on the table were beginning to rattle and shake. She could find the tingle of crystal energy as the tension seemed to mount. She could see Astra's hands grip her napkin tightly. She could see the stern faces of Des and Vires. She could see that Noctis' right eye was beginning to glow brightly and she could hear her own heart pounding within her ears.
"That sounds rather nice to me," stated Sapien as smoothly as if there was no tension at all. "We still have some unfinished matters that our councils need to discuss together and I had been wondering whether it would have been possible to stay longer so that we could rectify them."
"That is very true," answered Sol and it surprised and relieved her that the idea did not seem to bother him. "The four of you are more than welcome to stay in my home too."
"I think that's for the best," stated Vires as his eyes glared at Sol.
"So do I," said Des.
"If your sovereign leader does not object that is," mocked Sol as his golden eyes looked at Noctis' red ones.
"That is fine," is the answer and it's delivered with such deliberate, forceful blankness that it almost makes her afraid for Sol.
"Excellent," said Sol as he turned to look at her and she hoped she was at least giving the appearance of someone calm and collected. She was definitely not feeling either. "Stella, it looks like we are to open up the dancing this evening. May I have this first dance?"
She looked at Sapien, Des and Vires but she could not look at Noctis as she gave her hand to Sol and accepts. Their faces showed varying degrees of wariness as she turned to regard Sol as he lifted her from her seat and led her to the dance floor. She had no idea how she got through that dance, but she did. Sol did not try to pursue any sort of chit chat but merely smiled down at her and she was not sure if she smiled back. It was soon over and she was soon in the arms of another partner and then another but she took no note of whom. She only knew that her world was spinning.
During a lull in the music, she excused herself and all but ran out towards the stern to catch her breathe. The sounds of the water drowned out the sounds of her gasps as she tried to steady herself. Her hands clutched at her chest as she bent over from feeling so sick. She slowly made her way towards the very end of the stern and rested her hands on the railing. There were tears in her eyes again and she hated that they were there. Hated that she was so weak and so fragile when it came to that, that man. She lowered her head as if in shame and was not sure what she would have done after that, before two arms snatched her from around her waist and pulled her back towards the rear doors.
"Let go of me!" she cried as she struggled in familiar arms.
"What are you doing standing so close to the edge?" his voice hissed in her ear and his arms did not let her go.
"I was just catching my breathe," she insisted. "I said to let go of me!"
She felt the reluctance as he did what she asked before she whirled to face him.
"How dare you!" she cried and she did not care that she looked wild in that moment. "What do you care anyway?"
"I never said I did not care," he answered and she hated the calmness in his voice.
How could he be so calm when she felt so out of control?
It made her even more angry.
"Don't you dare stand there and act like you have every right to care after what you have said to me."
"I said I did not want to be friends."
"Then you have no right to care!"
"Stella," his tone warned, but she paid it no heed.
"No! You have done enough. You have said enough!" she cried. "It does not seem to matter that you have worried all your friends with this, this mock version of yourself. So you do not get to care about what I do." She had stepped back further back from him.
He did not say anything, which only angered her further. She did not notice that his hands had started to clench.
"As if it had been bad enough for you to tell me that you did not want me in your life. That you severed what had bound us. That you threw me away like some unwanted baggage. You had to break into my rooms and take the one thing that had given me hope."
"What do you mean, 'break into your rooms'?" he asked suddenly and she is too far gone to notice his tone either.
"Do not even try to deny that it was not you last night in my rooms," she accused, pointing her finger at him. "That you did not come and steal the only reminder that I had left of you. That you took the only hope I had that you loved me too. It does not seem to matter to you that you are killing me all over again."
His face completely changed then. Gone was the stoic, distant Noctis that had appeared this past month and there, there was the Noctis she knew. Her Noctis.
She had not even had time to register the change fully before she was in his arms with his lips fully pressed against hers. The suddenness of his movements made her gasp and he took advantage of her open mouth. It had not even been in her to resist him, as mad as she was. She merely gave in because that was all she had been capable of doing. All she had felt was the overwhelming completeness that only his arms could bring and she could hear him. She could hear him in the way that she had not been able to this whole long month without him. He kissed her again when she cried out with the joy of his return. She returned his kiss as she pressed herself even further against him as their thoughts mingled together.
IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou...
She could not tell if those were her words or his and she had no time to find out for sure before he jumped away from her and the connection slammed shut once again. Her arms reached for him in response and the look on his face. Oh the look on his face. It had been one of terror. Not terror of her but... for her? She did not understand.
"No...," he had voiced just below a whisper. "No.."
He staggered back in the most uncharacteristic fashion and then he was gone. Gone in a flash of crystals and she was alone once again. Alone with kiss swollen lips that only had one question.
What was going on?
