The Migration Habits of Post-Blight Darkspawn
Note: If you're unclear on who Jon Lovitz is, check out my profile. I linked to a video of his SNL skit as the devil.
Anders
"Babies cry sometimes, Lucy." Anders took Danny from his mother and laid him down on her bed. "There's a good fellow!" he said as Danny's hiccupping cry quieted. "You just wanted to spend some time with Andies, didn't you?"
"Not this baby. Danny almost never cries, not unless he's hungry or needs changing. I know there's something wrong." Lucy paced around her room looking more worried than he'd ever seen her.
Danny blurbled and hiccupped again. Anders dabbed away his tears and a little snot using Lucy's blanket. "Maybe it's just a phase," he said. "Babies are people, they change."
"His forehead felt warm to me, and there's a rash on his leg. What if it is Kawasaki's disease?"
"Cow-a-what?" Anders look puzzled.
"I saw it on Mystery Diagnosis once. Poor little boy nearly died from it," she said.
Anders put his hands on Danny and searched him magically. "He does have a little rash on his bottom, just some irritation, like chafing."
"Diaper rash? No, it can't be just that. He must have a fever. Can't you tell?"
It was the first time Lucy had ever doubted his skill as a healer. It would have hurt his feelings, but he knew she wasn't being rational. "No fever." He needed to prove it to her. "Come here, Lucy. Sit down. I want to show you something."
She sat on the bed with Danny between her and Anders. He picked up her hand and placed it on her son's chest, covering it with his own. "I know you can do this to some extent. You can feel broken things, like bones or major injuries to organs, but you can't feel things like diseases, or subtle abnormalities."
Looking up at him, she nodded. "Can you teach me?"
"Given enough time, yes. We'd need to work with a lot of ill people, though. For now, I think I can help you see his state. That will put your mind at ease." He let his magic flow through her hand and into Danny. "Add your own wound sensing ability to what I'm doing."
She closed her eyes and let her own magic mingle with his.
"Follow it with your mind," he said.
She relaxed and her face looked more peaceful. He had sneaked a little sedation and a hint of euphoria into the magical stream. It would help both mother and child relax. Then he shaped and guided her magic and took her on a tour of her son's body.
"He's so perfect," she whispered reverently.
Anders smiled. "He is a very healthy boy, Lucy, except for this bit of a rash here." He guided her senses along the baby's nerves.
"Ow. Poor baby."
"I'll just fix that right up." Anders soothed away the rash and Danny cooed happily, waving his fists in the air. "See? Happy baby, again."
Lucy opened her eyes and smiled at Anders. "That was amazing. Put that on the list of things I want to learn from you."
He squeezed her hand, gratified by the smile. "Before or after the sex magic?"
She shook her head and laughed. "You just never give up, do you?"
"I think you'll find persistence is one of my most endearing traits. Knight-Commander Greagoir certainly thought it was charming."
She sighed. "It reminds me of someone else - very persistent and a terrible flirt."
He tilted his head. "Your assassin?"
She nodded. "A little. I think you'd like him."
I doubt it. "Do you think so?"
"He's irreverent, a bit sarcastic at times. He has a finely tuned sense of irony. Maybe living with death does that to you."
As if to remind them he was there, Danny gurgled and kicked his legs.
"Hey there, my little man." Anders picked up the boy and seated him on his lap. Danny gripped onto his fingers. "You've got quite the grip there, son." He looked up at Lucy. "I haven't been around babies much, but this one seems to be particularly cute. Usually when I see them they're all squashed-looking, red, slimy and crying. Then the Chantry takes them away." Anders wiggled the fingers that Danny clutched so tightly, little red and gold sparks flew off Danny's hands into the air. The baby laughed and kicked his legs.
Lucy grinned at the pair. "You're going to be an awesome father, Anders."
"Being a father… is that even possible for me?" he asked.
"Well, yes, the Grey Warden potion we used doesn't cause infertility like the old one." Lucy smiled warmly. "My little surprise from Avernus is right there." She pointed at the baby.
"No, that's not what I mean. My fertility is fine. I just meant it wasn't ever really an option before. We were very careful about such things at the tower. No one really knew what happened to those mages' babies once the Chantry took them. I always suspected they were raised as sisters or templars, but I suppose it could have been even worse than that."
Lucy looked startled. "Worse? What do you mean?"
"They might have just killed them. The Chantry doesn't like bringing more mages into the world." He shrugged and sighed with frustration. "I'm just speculating, but I wouldn't put it past them."
She looked away, a pained expression on her face. "They should be stopped."
"I happen to agree with that." His words sounded light and agreeable, but deep bitterness lay at the base.
"Where does one start, Anders? I have been appalled by so many things in this world: The injustices to the elves and mages, the ridiculous power and wealth concentrated into the hands of the few." She sighed. "Not that my world was all that much better, really. I just happened to live in a spot where things were a little improved."
"I know where I will start: With the mages. Things can't be allowed to stand as they are. Mages must revolt." His expression grew grim and he looked down at Danny. "What if your son is a mage, Lucy? Would you let him be taken?"
"Never, but it's very unlikely in any case." She tapped her finger against Danny's ankle, pondering. "On my world revolutions are often brutally put down. The reaction to them can lead to even worse repression. But eventually we had mass production of books and pamphlets which led to the spreading of ideas. Then came the telegraph and radio, film, television, finally the Internet and social networks where the new beliefs could take root in the blink of an eye. The world changed ever faster. People in all sorts of places began to believe they could make change happen. It is like lighting a torch in a dark room, suddenly you can see your way out. It was communication and the transmission of ideas that brought freedom and change."
Anders listened raptly. "How could we do such things here? Information travels very slowly, if at all."
She bounced with excitement. "I haven't shown you the orbs yet, have I? You lucky people get to skip over centuries and get right down to video conferencing. Well, sort of. I learned a little bit of magic from Morrigan who got it from her mother… well, the woman who claimed to be her mother, after we killed her and took her grimoire, but that's a long story."
"You killed someone's mother?" He looked aghast.
"Oh, no, it isn't as bad as it sounds! She was plotting terrible things, to take over her daughter's body. She had lived for centuries doing just that."
"Ah, a blood mage then?"
"Well, probably, if that matters. What really mattered was she was intending to possess Morrigan, my friend."
"Tell me about the orbs," Anders asked, shifting back to the topic.
"What's needed in this world is to plant a simple idea to grow in people's minds. It is a notion that is the basic tenent of many societies in my world. The idea is that everyone, no matter how great or small, rich or poor, male or female, mage or muggle, human, dwarf or elf, has certain rights that no one can take away. Things like the right to participate in the government, to speak freely without fear of imprisonment, the right to fair and impartial justice, and basic rights that all thinking beings have. Equality under the law is a small idea, but so important. If we spread and nourish that idea it will change the world."
Musing, Anders watched Lucy become impassioned on the topic, growing more animated and excited. "And the orbs?" he reminded her.
She smiled and went to a dresser and rummaged through her sock drawer. She pulled out an orb and brought it back to the bed. She waved her hand over it and it sparkled briefly and the scene of people working came into view. He could hear their voices and the sounds of hammers in the background.
"Can they see and hear us?" Anders stared intently into the orb.
Lucy nodded. "Yes, I just have to activate it at my end. Their end is always on, because there isn't a mage there to activate it."
"Lucy…" Anders looked at her intensely, "if this thing required a mage to operate…"
Smiling, she nodded. "It would make mages very indispensable." She sighed. "I've kept this semi-secret for selfish reasons. I didn't want the Wardens in the Anderfels to be that closely linked with us. But I think this technology… mageology… needs to be spread."
"You have to teach me how to use these." His eyes shone with his exhilaration.
"I'll even teach you how to enchant them. Fortunately, Morrigan taught me. We'll have to teach other mages. Everyone one of them should learn this."
He pried one of his hands away from Danny's grip and grasped Lucy's hand. "You need to reveal yourself as a mage, Lucy. The movement needs you."
Lucy shook her head. "Movement? Aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves? I have Danny to think about, too. We have these talking darkspawn to deal with."
"Think of it, Lucy. In your position you have influence. You know important people, the king and queen, Loghain, all the nobles."
"I'm also a big, fat imposter and drawing attention to me might end up exposing that little detail to people who would probably think it would be a good idea to separate my head from my neck."
The enthusiastic light faded from his face. "So what was that speech about? You hope someone else will address the problems of this world while you pretend to be someone you're not?"
Lucy looked away, her forehead furrowing and her smile fading. "This is not how I had planned my life after the archdemon died and I found out I was pregnant." The wistful look on her face tugged on Anders heartstrings. "I thought I would live in Denerim with Zevran, raise my child, and bring sanitation and the comforts from home to the people of Ferelden."
"Think about it, Lucy. You could help bring meaningful change to this world, something better than even toilets."
She squeezed his hand. "I will think about it, after things have settled down here… after I know whether or not Zevran…" She stopped mid-sentence and changed the subject abruptly. "Thanks for curing Danny's diaper rash. I'm sorry I was so paranoid."
After tousling the fine black hair on Danny's head he handed her the baby. "It's what I'm here for." He stood up and smiled at her. She was so close, her eyes smiling with her thanks. Without thinking he wrapped his arms around Lucy, mindful that Danny was between them. He held her for a moment and then brushed her cheek with a quick kiss.
Danny burbled, happy to be pressed between two adults. Anders didn't want to leave. He felt part of something special when he was with Lucy and her son. Her lips parted briefly as if some words were trying to escape. Instead she smiled and broke eye contact.
"I'll see you at dinner. I have to… things, you know, stuff… to do. Varel probably wants me to look at things and do… stuff."
Lucy at a loss for words was rare; it boosted his confidence. Every now and then he got past her defenses and saw a woman he was sure wanted him. "Of course, stuff and things. See you at dinner." He walked out of her room with a little extra bounce in his step.
Lucy
I had slipped outside that morning and rearranged the milk bottles into the pattern that Wolf and I had agreed upon as a signal. Tonight, according to our plan, we'd meet in that creepy old shack behind the stables. I needed to talk to him about what Nathaniel had told me. I knew now, for certain, who was behind the conspiracy: Bann Esmerelle. We just needed proof.
This was going to be a good day. Nathaniel's revelation solidified my trust in him. I fully intended to gloat to Wolf that my instincts were right yet again. The traitor that Wolf had warned me about surely must have been Nathaniel. He had, no doubt, heard the conspirators discussing Nathaniel. It was a great relief to find out there was no traitor.
After Anders had seen to the mysterious illness I'd convinced myself Danny had been suffering from, I went for a walk around the Vigil.
"Well, hello, sweet baby!" A very scrawny marmalade kitten wandered into my path and rubbed my ankles when I stopped to admire her. She – verified by a quick check - was, perhaps, only three months old, with more of a squeak than a meow. I scooped her up and settled her into the crook of my arm and walked back to the keep. I remembered Anders had told me a story of a cat he'd kept company with in his solitary confinement, his only company. As much as I wanted to keep the kitten myself, I decided to offer her to him. I had Danny to cherish and care for and he had no one.
The kitten seemed content enough to nestle in my arms as I walked back to the keep and up to Anders' room. I pulled my cloak closed to hide the kitten and knocked.
"Lucy?" he said when he opened the door. "Everything all right with Danny?"
"I have something you might want." I smiled, hardly able to contain my delight in the secret I had hidden inside my cloak.
His face lit up. "And just what do you have there?" An eyebrow cocked and one corner of his mouth turned up in a wicked smile. "You're naked, perhaps?"
I shook my head. It was getting harder to imagine Anders was my gay best friend when he acted like that. "Close your eyes and give me your hand."
His smile got even broader. "Oh, I like how this surprise is going." He closed his eyes and held out his hand.
I parted my cloak and brought out the kitten. I placed her front paws on his hand while I held onto her. "All right, open your eyes."
"A kitten!" He wrapped his hand around her and took her from me. "Why it looks just like Mr. Wiggums, except much smaller." He brought the kitten up to his face and nuzzled her. She purred loudly. "I will call him Ser Pounce-a-lot."
I rolled my eyes. Some people shouldn't be allowed to name things and I feared Anders was one of them. "It's a girl kitty."
"Well, Ser Pounce-a-lot could be a female name, too."
"It could be, I suppose. But it doesn't sound very feminine. Why not give her a more feminine name."
Just then, the kitten squeaked and batted at Anders' face with a paw.
He laughed. "Was that a meow? It sounded more like a peep."
I giggled. "There, she agrees with me! She wants a girly name."
Anders scratched her under the chin and she craned her head up to give him full access. "Then you pick out a name for her."
"Lady Marmalade, Apricot, Buttercup, Cheddar, Carrot, Ember, Mango? Her coloring suggests names like that."
"Carrot? What's so feminine about that?"
"Marigold, Peaches, Amber, Goldie?" I suggested. "Do any of those speak to you?"
"It's more important that they speak to her, I think!" He held up the kitten. "How about it, kitty? Would you like being called Marigold?" The kitten continued to purr and tried to head butt Anders under the chin. "Well! That's settled then. She is Marigold!"
"So, I guess you want to keep her? I wasn't sure you were really a cat person."
"I have something of a soft spot for them, as you've figured out."
"Good! You'd better get her something to eat, she looks half-starved."
Marigold attacked the feathers on Anders' coat. "It looks like she's found something to eat." He grinned at me.
The kitten began worrying feathers out of his coat with her teeth and I giggled. "We might need to find some other decoration for your ensemble." I reached over and scratched her head one last time. "I should go and let you two get acquainted."
Anders held the kitten against his shoulder with one hand and he wrapped his free arm around me and hugged me. "Thanks, Lucy. This was a thoughtful gift." He kissed my cheek and squeezed me. For the second time that day, I didn't want to pull away, but I did.
"See you at dinner." I left and shut the door. Stop it! Now I was jealous of the kitten. This was getting ridiculous. If I couldn't control my emotions better than this, then I just needed to stay away from him.
I kept myself busy for the rest of the day, trying to divert myself away from my thoughts about Anders. My plan to think of him as gay just wasn't working. Perhaps seeing Wolf would divert me from my dangerous obsession with my recruit. If our agreed upon signal worked, then I'd see him tonight. I ate a quick dinner and then snuck out of the keep to meet him in the shack.
The night was a wild one with a whippy wind. It rifled my cloak and through the branches of the trees. The clouds were moving across the sky, concealing, then revealing, the face of the moon. It was my favorite sort of night. The sort that seems to call for haunted houses and witches flying around on brooms. It amused me that I was the closest thing to a witch in these parts, and I couldn't fly on a broom. Who would want to sit on a broom anyway? I could just imagine how incredibly uncomfortable that would be. If I were going to fly on a common household item, I'd choose something more comfortable, like a carpet or perhaps a sofa cushion… heck, why not a La-Z-Boy recliner? I giggled to think of a coven of witches convening a Sabbat, flying in on their comfy chairs. Could we enchant a little beer fridge to fly along behind us?
I was grinning stupidly at my train of thought when I slipped into the little shed. Wolf was already there. A little lantern was burning, providing a bit of light. He'd borrowed some glasses, and probably the wine too, from the keep and had it waiting.
"Lucy." He reached out for me and pulled me close, kissing me.
I smiled at him. "Wolf." I returned his kiss. Damn! There just wasn't any place convenient where we could really be more intimate. It wasn't going to happen in this dirty, cob-webby shack; I'd been softened by sleeping in a bed most nights. Hard to believe a year or so ago I was rutting in dusty ruins or the Maker-damned Deep Roads with Zevran and Riordan. Ah, my sensibilities had become more… sensible. Or, perhaps, it was a testament to my potent attraction to those two that I could get it onamidst such surroundings.
"Do you have news, my lady, or do I dare hope you have other motives?" He kissed my neck, not waiting for an answer.
I sighed with pleasure and leaned into him. "I do have news, and I always have other motives, as you say, but this is hardly the place to act on them."
"Ah, you break my heart, sweet Lucy. I could climb up to your balcony tonight."
"There are guards patrolling the keep, you might be mistaken for an assassin. I'd feel terrible if you ended up with a bolt in your back."
He sighed. "There is another option. There's a hunting lodge not far away. It is usually home to the gamekeeper, but you don't have one at present." Picking up my hand, he kissed it. "Can you get away tonight?"
I mused over the proposition for a moment. It would be easier to get away once everyone was in bed for the night. It was best arranged in advance. "Not tonight. Tomorrow would be better. Tell me where the lodge is and I'll meet you there tomorrow, after dinner. I will put Danny to bed and excuse myself early. Around nine o'clock?" I caressed his face with the hand he just kissed.
His eyes danced in the dim lamplight. "The day will seem like an eternity, but I will be patient." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me again. It was difficult to remember exactly why I'd come in the first place. "Now, what is your news?"
"Oh, yes! I found the traitor." I pulled away so I could gloat properly and see his reaction.
"Did you? You look rather happy about it."
"I should be. The traitor is not really a traitor; he was playing with the conspirators, making them think he was." I rummaged in my cloak's pocket and pulled out the note. "This note was given to him by Bann Esmerelle. The two people named are Crow assassins. Bann Esmerelle believed he would help them get jobs inside the keep, only Nathaniel alerted me." I let my gloat burst out of me in its full, obnoxious glory.
"Nathaniel Howe?" he looked puzzled.
"Yes, Nathaniel Howe." I smiled smugly. "I seem to recall saying something about Nathaniel, what was it exactly? Do help me remember."
"Ah, you said your instincts were usually right, I believe." His eyebrow was cocked and he looked amused at my posturing.
"What's that? I'm not sure I really heard you."
He sighed theatrically. "You were right."
I grinned broadly. "Damn right, I was right!" I tossed my hair back and preened for good measure.
"You're a horrible gloater," he said.
I laughed. "I am, I confess." Then I sighed. "Unfortunately there really isn't enough to just go and arrest her and try her for treason, or whatever thing she's guilty of."
"Probably not." Wolf took the note and held it up by the candle. "Just an initial and Nathaniel's word." He pondered the note a moment. "If he has her trust, he could lead her into a trap. Get her to implicate herself in front of witnesses. You could confront and arrest her on the spot then move on the others you already know about."
I nodded. It was a good plan. "Once that is done, this conspiracy is likely over."
Wolf hesitated and nodded. "You'll have no more need for me."
I bit the corner of my lip and looked seductively at Wolf. "Oh, I don't know about that. I might have need of you yet." I briefly raised my eyebrows in the universally understood signal of sexual innuendo.
He chuckled and pulled me to him. "Well that is good to hear, my lady Arlessa. Tomorrow you can tell me your plan for trapping the devious Bann and how I can assist you with that." He kissed my neck and sucked on my earlobe for a moment.
I gave a breathy moan. Maker! I considered ignoring the filthy conditions of the shack and taking advantage of the willing man whose adventurous tongue was exploring my ear. I kissed him again. Oh yeah, it was hot. He pushed me against the door and nibbled my lips, his groin pressing against mine.
"Hold that thought, Wolf." I disengaged myself from the knee-melting scrum. "Tomorrow night we can pick this up where we're leaving off."
"I will count the hours, my lady." There was still no space between us, but he picked up my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing my palm. "Sweet dreams, my dear."
"You too, Wolf." I kissed him one last time; this time with a little more restraint.
I left with my naughty bits tingling. Despite my loinal urgings, I knew I'd have to fully disclose my status to Wolf if we were to continue this affair. He deserved to know my heart was committed elsewhere. I walked quickly back to the keep and was waylaid by Varel, then Garavel. Finally I sought out Nathaniel and we put together a plan for trapping Bann Esmerelle. I kept some parts of the plan to myself.
When I finally got to bed I was too tired to do anything but sleep, even though a moment or two of self-indulgence might have taken the edge off my randiness.
~o~o~o~
The hunting lodge was hidden away in the woods and was difficult to spot at night from the air, but I did eventually find it. It was a shame I couldn't sense Wolf like I could Grey Wardens. I wondered what I'd have to drink to sense the pheromones of a horny male. Of course, I'd likely be sensing all kinds of them, perhaps not an entirely useful skill to possess. From the air I finally spotted a curl of smoke rising. That led me to the lodge. I landed and changed into something a little more humanoid, my own form.
The door was flung open and Wolf yanked me inside eagerly; he shoved the door shut with his foot. "Maker's breath, woman, you are late. I like to have died for want of you, my sweet." His fingers quickly unhooked my cloak; he pulled it off my shoulders and threw it carelessly over a chair, his eyes never leaving mine. Then he pressed me against the door and his lips were on mine, then on my neck, then my ear. I was already moaning, ready, beyond ready. His hand squeezed my breast through my dress, his thumb teasing over the tip. Even through several layers of fabric it sent an electrical jolt down to my toes.
His passionate impatience was contagious, but I knew we should talk before we got to the point of no return. It was most likely a silly formality; most men would probably be relieved that they were excused from any expectation of being a love interest. Unattached sex had lots of fans amongst those of the male persuasion. So, when he pulled me into another fierce kiss, fingers unfastening my buttons, I had to argue with myself to break away. Like in the cartoons of old, there was a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. "You worry too much. Relax, enjoy. Have an orgasm for me, baby." The devil looked remarkably like Jon Lovitz in my imagination. The angel looked like Glinda, the Good Witch. She tsked disapprovingly at me. "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" The devil cackled, "She's a great witch when she's bad. Aren't ya?" Glinda scowled at Jon. "Begone, before someone drops a house on your head, too!"
Shut up, you two! I mentally pushed the characters off my shoulders and broke away from Wolf, who was beginning to peel my dress off my arms. "We must talk a moment, Wolf."
I could imagine those words were like having a bucket of ice cold water dumped on you. "Of course, Lucy." He immediately stopped undressing me and pulled my dress back up. "Is something wrong?"
I sat on the sofa and patted the cushion next to me. "I just thought that since we're seeing each other I should probably tell you certain things you might not know about me. I don't want to mislead you."
He picked up my hand and kissed my knuckles. "Is this about your affair with the Antivan assassin?" He smiled kindly at me. "I know you had an elven lover, my dear. I did rather a lot of checking up on you after you first contacted me. I had to make sure you weren't part of some elaborate scheme of my father's."
I felt a little relief. "So you know about Zevran?"
He nodded. "Yes, of course. You were worried I was one of those small-minded people that thought humans and elves shouldn't mix?"
"I don't know exactly how much you know about him… about us." Perhaps my relief was a little premature.
"I know that he left you a few months before you came to Amaranthine." He frowned. "What sort of bounder would leave a woman in that condition, I can't even imagine." He kissed my hand again. "I hope your heartache has healed."
"Oh no, it wasn't like that. He left to protect the baby and me. The Crows tried to use me to get to him. He went back to Antiva to confront them directly." It always got to me to remember the words he had said to me. "He said he would destroy them or they would destroy him. Either way we would be free from future Crow attacks."
Wolf looked at me intently, the furrows in his forehead deepening.
"I haven't heard from him, Wolf. I don't know if he is alive or dead. I… We had an understanding before he left that there might be others, but my heart is his." I paused and watched his face. "Perhaps it makes no difference to you, but I wanted you to know before… I just don't want to hurt you." I laughed and it sounded strangely hollow in the room. "I know I'm probably being silly, but I just, you know, I wanted to be honest."
His expression grew clouded. He looked away and I could see him swallow. "No. It's not silly, Lucy. I'm glad you told me." He squeezed my hand. "If he should come back to you, then that would be the end for us, wouldn't it?" He stood up and paced. "I've been foolish," he said with a bitter laugh. "I didn't think this through very well. What sort of pair could we make even if your Antivan didn't return? I'm a wanted criminal. I can't stay in one place very long before someone recognizes me. Sooner or later either my father or Teyrn Loghain is going to find me. You can't risk associating with me, my dear."
Oh crap, this wasn't working out well at all. "I'm sure I could get a pardon for you. Or you could join the Wardens then no one can touch you."
He stepped around behind me and began refastening my buttons. Crap, crap, crap!
"No, my dear, I'm not cut out to join your esteemed Wardens. I need to remember myself and do the honorable thing. You have too much at risk to be dallying with the likes of me."
"No, really…" I started to protest. I was a big girl, I'd take my chances. I thought he was reaching for excuses to end the affair. Really, who would want to know that they'd be jettisoned out of their lover's bed the moment a missing loved one showed up?
"Shush, my sweet Lucy, I simply won't hear of it. You have troubles enough without me adding to them." He finished buttoning the back of my dress. "I won't forget you. I hope you won't come to regret our time together." He picked up my hand and kissed it rather chastely.
"No, of course not, Wolf." I tried to keep my face neutral, but I'm sure I must have worn my disappointment. I was also ashamed. Clearly, he wasn't interested in the only sort of relationship I had to offer him. "I am sorry…"
He hushed me again. "No, no. You were absolutely right to bring it up. There's nothing to apologize for." He sat down on the comfortable sofa in the hunting lodge. "Why don't you tell me the plans you've made with Nathaniel Howe for trapping Bann Esmerelle and how I might be of assistance."
I wanted nothing more than to flee at that moment. I'd hurt this perfect gentleman with my assumptions about men. We could execute the plan without him, but I knew he would want to be in on it. His locating the note on the murdered courier and implicating Liza Packton had been key to getting Ser Temmerly to talk. We had quite a few conspirators' names and now we could shut down the entire conspiracy.
I explained our plan and asked if he would like to be there for it. He consented. I would use our signal with the milk bottles to let him know when we had the time arranged.
"Well, I suppose I should be going." I got up slowly, hoping he would change his mind. The unfilled mandate from my loins was turning into a headache. How did something that promised to be fevered second-time sex turn into this? "You had to go and open your mouth, sweetheart," the devil mocked me.
Wolf got up with me and embraced me, kissing me on the cheek. "Good bye, my sweet. Trust me, this is for the best."
I squeezed his hand and slipped out of the door; pushing my way into the trees, I turned into a very dejected crow. Winging slowly back to the Vigil, I felt keenly disappointed, yes, but I also felt guilty. Wolf must have had some idea of a future with me. To carry on with him, knowing full well we had no future together, made me into the sort of cad I had always disliked. I quorked desolately into the night: Like a bird, missing her mate. I was alone. So utterly alone.
Oh god! I was starting to sound like a page out of one of my teenaged diaries. But really, I went from having too many lovers to having none at all.
I circled the Vigil, not quite ready to go in to my cold, lonely bed. I saw Anders' room was lighted. I could really use some companionship. I landed on his windowsill and saw him through the window. He was standing in his doorway kissing that bovine girl he'd been flirting with before. I caught myself before rapping on his window with my beak.
"Oh look, Anders," I heard the girl exclaim and saw her point at me, "There's a crow looking in your window. How funny!"
I took off, not wanting to disrupt Anders' plans for the evening. At least he'd get some. I quorked unhappily and flew to the window I'd left open. I changed into human form and walked wearily to my room. As I passed through my sitting room I picked up the brandy decanter and a glass. I shouldered my way into my bedroom and poured myself a deep glass of booze. My room was cold and empty; it would take a lot of brandy to make me forget about my loneliness. I tossed a fireball into the fireplace. The logs caught right away but even their cheerful combustion did nothing to lift my funk.
I slumped onto a loveseat in front of the fire and tried to chug the brandy, but I gasped and sputtered at the taste. I coughed and spattered brandy over the carpet and the front of my dress.
"Great, I can't even get my drink on," I muttered.
"Good, I have something better than that anyway," a voice behind me said.
"Anders! I thought you were busy." I jumped up from my seat, nearly spilling my drink in the process.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I saw the door was open." He walked over to the loveseat and sat down.
I must have looked a mess. I had sprayed myself with brandy. My hair was wild from my time outside in the wind and I probably looked as unhappy as I felt. "I'm sorry, Anders. I didn't mean to intrude on you. I just thought if you were up…"
He shook his head. "No, it's all right. Bess has gotten too clingy, I was looking for an excuse to get away." Staring at me, he seemed to take in my funk. "It's not every night I get a visit from a depressed crow."
I sighed. "I've managed to hash up everything with Wolf." I sat down on the sofa and brought the glass of brandy back up to my lips, preparing to sip this time.
Anders reached out and prevented me from taking a drink. "No, don't. You'll just feel awful in the morning. I have some sweet madcap."
I nodded. "Some weed would be good."
"Sweet madcap is not a weed, it's an herb," he chided me.
I indulged in a sour half-smile. "Hit me with some herbage, man. My night has been a total downer. My whole life is the suckiest, sucking suck in all of Sucksville."
He laughed and shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about Lucy." He pulled a bag out of his robe and began to press the fragrant herb into a pipe. "All this talk of sucking and yet I have a feeling that's something that has been lacking in your life." Lighting the pipe with a small flame from his index finger, he took a small toke and then passed it to me.
I took a much larger hit and closed my eyes, feeling a wave of relaxation starting to radiate out from my core. I passed the pipe back to him and exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Maker, I needed this."
He took another hit and spoke while trying not to exhale. "So, what happened, Lucy?"
"Wolf dumped me after I told him about Zevran." I slumped against Anders' shoulder, desiring contact with another human. "I feel guilty about not telling him sooner. I think he had hoped there was a future for us."
Anders wrapped an arm around me and pulled my head down to rest against his shoulder. "Maybe I'm cynical, but I bet what he was really after was marrying a wealthy Arlessa, Commander of the Grey, Hero of Ferelden. When you told him about Zevran he saw his plans dashed. He'll be moving onto some aging, but wealthy, widow next."
I laughed a little bitterly. "I can't believe that of him. He was nice, a true gentleman. He didn't want to have his heart broken when Zevran came back. Can you blame him?" I took another hit.
"Naw, he just played you like a lute. Mark my words, Lucy. Oh, I have no doubt he was counting himself fortunate that you're a beautiful and fascinating woman, but you're a mage and then he finds he can't win you. Two serious strikes against you, my dear."
The herb was really starting to act on me. My head felt like it weighed twenty-five pounds and my neck felt like a pipe cleaner. I rolled my head around on Anders' shoulder, trying to get my mouth free of the feather decoration that his kitten hadn't yet destroyed. I was too limp to succeed. "Help! I'm stuck."
He laughed and pulled me so I was lying across his lap, my head resting against the padded arm of the loveseat. "Better?" he asked.
"Much." I looked up at him. He was so attractive. He had such a nice jaw and a really distinguished nose. Not distinguished like you say of someone who has a big nose. His nose was really nicely proportioned and finely chiseled, aristocratic looking.
"Why are you staring at me?" he asked. "Do I have something on my face?"
"Handsomeness, actually. All over your face. You really are an attractive man. If you weren't gay I'd…"
Anders smirked at me. "Gay? Oh, right you told me what that was. Wait! You think I'm gay?" A bemused smile crossed his face. "With all the women you've seen me with, you think I'm gay?"
I laughed, remembering I'd just made that fact up. "I just tell myself that so I won't do anything inappropriate. If you weren't my recruit I'd…" I cut myself off, thinking lucidly for a moment. Blurting this out was a bad idea. "I'd recruit you!"
He smirked at me and narrowed his eyes. "That isn't what you were going to say, is it?" He lifted his hand and held it above me. "Tell me what you were going to say, or I'll have to tickle it out of you."
"Noooo!" I tried to sit up, but my head was way too heavy.
He held me to his lap and his long fingers poked into my waist and I was reduced to pathetic howls and helpless squiggling, not even able to muster the strength to pull away. "Tell me!" He pulled back the hand but held it threatening above me. He stared intently at me and opened his eyes comically wide. "I will magic it out of you." He gestured with his hand, like he was casting a spell. "Obey me!"
I laughed. "Magic it out of me? I've said what I was going to say. Put away the ticklers before I pee myself."
Waggling his eye brows he said, "I suppose that's one way to get you out of your knickers."
"Out of my knickers…" I sighed sadly. "My prospects are dim, Anders. No one wants an old, used-up, has-been of a hero." I poked him feebly in the chest. "You know, back in the good old days of the Blight, I had too many lovers. They were falling out of the rafters. That's the fun part of thinking you're going to die, you discard all those rules that seem like a good idea when you might have to live with the consequences into the future." I sighed, remembering the 'good old days' and forgetting how awful they were.
Anders laughed at me. "We're all going to die someday, Lucy. It could be tomorrow. Perhaps you should discard those rules again."
Remembering two other men who had said words like those to me, both gone now, I smiled sadly. The depression that Anders had warded off began to roll back in like a thick fog. As if reading my mind, he rubbed his thumb over my cheek, wiping away tears that hadn't fallen. I closed my eyes, feeling suddenly weary. Having someone there to share life's disappointments, it felt so good, so right. This was why I couldn't be with him: I was weak. I knew I'd fall in love with Anders and I'd made a promise to Zevran. Perhaps it was already too late, but I could still fight it.
"Don't leave," I whispered to Anders, not sure why I said those words, or what they meant exactly, but my weariness and the fine herbage claimed my consciousness and I fell asleep with my head in his lap.
Anders
Don't leave, she says, and then she falls asleep in my lap. Great! Wondering what exactly she meant by that comment, he waited to see if she would wake and clarify it. Did she mean, in general, don't leave her as Zevran and Riordan had? Or did she want him to stay with her tonight?
She looked so vulnerable. He was sure he could have pushed past her resolve. A kiss and it all would have come tumbling down. Why hadn't he done it? As much as he just knew in his gut that Wolf had been a fortune hunter, he could actually sympathize about not wanting to be turned out of her bed when her Antivan love returned. There was only one way around it, make sure that if she had to choose between them, he would be her choice.
He stared at her and sighed. Her wild red hair that was forever escaping her braid, tickled against his hand resting on her cheek. Her lips were slightly pursed, as if she were dreaming of a kiss about to happen. He sent a little magic into her to see how deeply she was sleeping; it wasn't the deepest stage of sleep, which would take some time. If he moved her to the bed, she'd certainly wake, so he used magic to deepen her sleep.
He groaned as he lifted her, and himself, off the sofa. Lucy was taller than most women, and packed with muscle. Even though she was slender, she wasn't light. He really needed to learn those arcane spells that increased her strength, it would be useful for tasks like… carrying unconscious women to their beds.
He laid her down on the bed then wrestled with the question of whether he should undress her or not. Why the hell not? He was her physician; he'd seen her most intimate parts when he delivered Daniel. Looking at naked bodies was something he could do clinically. He rolled her over onto her side and she snorted, still deeply asleep. Cursing the number of small buttons down the back of her dress, he unfastened them and then worked her dress off, laying it aside on a chair. He pulled off her boots and long woolen stockings. Next off came a chemise and then her smalls. That left the lyrium necklace around her neck, and another one with a vial of blood, the reminder of the Joining ceremony they'd all gone through. Perhaps it was Riordan's. He never saw her without either necklace, so he left them on her.
Clinical… right. He stared at her, lying on her side. Her hips swelled out of a narrow waist and her buttocks were pert, with sacroiliac dimples, a lovely, if rare, feature. Sitting on the bed beside her, he unfastened the end of her braid and slowly unwove her hair. It cascaded over his hand and he used his fingers to comb it out a little. He could imagine burying his hands in that mass of hair. The thought made his groin tighten in response. He shook himself out of his reverie and went to her armoire looking for a nightgown. There he found man's shirt; it looked like maybe she slept in that. He buttoned it up and pulled it over her head, wrestling her arms into the sleeves then pulling it down over her hips.
Don't leave me, she had said. He stared at her, considering yet again what she had meant. He decided to take her literally. He undressed down to his smalls and climbed into bed next to her, pulling the covers up over them both. Sliding next to her, he draped his arm over her and held her close.
I could get used to this, he thought. She moved in her sleep, nestling closer. Her slow, regular breathing and the beat of her heart soothed him. He soon followed her into the Fade. More literally than figuratively that night.
~o~o~o~
He was running, yet again, from the Circle and templars were hot on his trail.
"Over here, mage!" a voice hissed from beside the road and he saw her gesturing to him.
A wood sprite? A desire demon? All he could see was a striking face and a billow of rusty hair rising up out of the shadowy underbrush.
"Hurry!" she hissed.
Anders crashed into the underbrush and stood panting where she crouched watching the road. She stood up and pointed deeper into the woods. "There's an encampment that way. Run! I'll take care of the templars."
He hesitated a moment, wondering how one woman could possibly deal with the four templars following him. She was bristling with weapons. She held a bow and there were two vicious daggers on her back, another strapped to her thigh and yet another on her calf. At her feet lay a mage's staff and a dozen bottles that looked like they might be poison flasks.
"What part of run don't you understand?" she snarled at him.
He looked up, startled by her rudeness, then he ran. It was useless, of course, the templars had his phylactery and they could track him anywhere, now they'd probably kill this poor woman as well. He ran on in the direction she had pointed and found the camp.
It was empty but for him. He sat on a damp log next to the fire pit with no fire burning. He heard a blood curdling scream, distinctly female, then an explosion. Men's voices shouted and one, no two, screamed in pain. Then there was the clash of steel against steel and the woman screamed again. It wasn't a scream of pain, more like fury, or perhaps channeling pain into fury. The sound of fighting became less, and then finally it grew quiet but for the sound of halting footsteps coming through the underbrush.
He stood up, ready to run again if it was a templar. He could slow them down with magic, but it wouldn't stop them. His staff was drawn and he prepared. The woman limped out of the dense woods, bleeding from a cut on her face, her nose, and a deep wound on her thigh. Rushing to her he helped her back to the camp and got her to lie down on her bedroll.
"Andraste's knickers, woman, I don't know how you did it, but four templars?" He put his hand on her leg and healed the worst wound. Who was this woman, he wondered.
"I had some time to prepare. I'd been watching them chase you. Ow!" She sucked in her breath as he straightened her nose and healed it.
"Sorry, that hurts I know. I've had mine broken a time or two by the same sort of guys who broke yours."
She stared into his face. "Hard to believe. Your nose looks perfectly… well, perfect really."
He smiled jauntily. "Yours will be, too. I'm good at this. I got a lot of practice in on myself. This is my eighth escape from the Tower." He held the flap of skin closed from the wound on her face and healed that. "You won't have any scars either. That lovely skin of yours will be perfectly smooth."
She smiled up at him. "I… well, it's rather vain of me, but thank you for that. I was thinking about the scars and broken nose the whole time I was fighting."
The furious scream he'd heard, was that her anger over scarring? He smiled with amusement at the thought. "How could you have been watching them chase me and then be ready for them?"
"I flew." Something metallic glittered in her hand as she opened it. "This is yours, I believe."
Anders gasped. "My phylactery." His voice was hushed with awe. She couldn't have given him a better present. He looked up at her. "I can't thank you enough."
She smiled warmly. There was something so familiar about her, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He stayed with her, tending to her wounds long after they had healed. Neither of them cared to notice she didn't need him to check her wounds each evening; they'd all healed perfectly and, true to his word, without a scar.
He kissed her one evening as they sat next to the fire. It started as a tentative gesture. There was no hesitation as she returned it with a fierce passion, like she'd been waiting a long time to unleash it. Their clothes scattered all over the camp and they ended up on a bedroll, barely. He buried his hands in her auburn curls and she ripped off the thong holding his queue in place. In her passion, she pulled at his hair, nipping and kissing his neck and chin. When he impaled her he felt as if he were where he belonged, finally. Home was wherever this woman was.
He used no tricks on her: No magic, no clever words, nothing but what grew spontaneously out of the moment. She cried out, gouging him lightly with her nails as she climaxed. He followed, his hair draping alongside her face, his eyes staring intently into hers as he came.
Over the months they traveled together, organizing apostates and helping mages escape the tower. She taught him the strange magics she knew and he taught her rudimentary healing. They found and destroyed caches of phylacteries, published manifestos, and boldly offered healing services in the small towns they came across. Most were more than glad to accept their services in exchange for whatever supplies they needed.
One night as they were again entwined in each other's arms, reality shifted ever so slightly. "Lucy," he moaned, saying her name and truly knowing her for the first time.
"Shush, Anders, don't wake me. This dream is nice."
"That it is," he buried his hands into her hair and plunged into her warm core and lost himself again.
She woke first to find Anders curled around her, his chest against her back, and his erection pressing against her backside. Maker! After that dream last night, what a temptation. She shifted, trying to get more comfortable. Her movement disturbed him and he reflexively pulled her closer. She shut her eyes, remembering the dream, trying to stay with it a moment or two longer.
"Sorry." Anders said sleepily, pulling away from her and rolling onto his back. "Uh, reflex, I guess. Man thing."
She rolled to her other side to face him, her dream fading, but not the feelings. "Oh, quite all right. You stayed last night. Thanks. I really didn't want to be alone." Her speech was overly polite.
He looked at her wondering if they'd been together in the Fade or whether that had been his own dream. "How are you feeling today?"
She stretched and yawned. "Much better, thanks to you." She nearly blushed recalling the sex in her dream. It made up for everything that hadn't happened between her and Wolf. Could Anders have had the same dream? That sort of thing could theoretically happen. She felt the ever-present, warm pulsing of the lyrium necklace against her skin. Ah, that could explain it. After the crazy Godzilla dream when she had taken lyrium before going to bed, she had always carefully removed the necklace before sleeping. She wasn't sure how much control she had over her weird reactions to lyrium when she was asleep. Well, if it had been a shared dream, they should pretend it hadn't happened.
"Did you and I, er, intersect in the Fade last night?" Anders asked. He considered not asking her, but he just had to know.
She sat up and clutched her necklace. "No. At least, not that I recall now."
She was lying; he could see it on her face. She was a terrible liar. All right, if you want to play it that way, I'll go along with it. Let's see how long you can hide from this, missy. "Right, must have just been me." He sat up in bed and watched her eyes as she stared at his bare chest for a moment. Her gaze swept up to his face; she blushed and looked away.
"I'd better get dressed." She climbed carefully out of bed, making sure the shirt she was wearing covered her. It was barely long enough, but she held it down so it covered her butt cheeks.
He watched her trying to maintain her modesty and smiled rakishly. "There's nothing I didn't see last night, you know."
She flushed. "I guess you did at that. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to stay." She still clutched at the bottom of the shirt.
He climbed out the other side of her bed. "No, it was good I did stay. You were in bad shape last night. As your physician, it was my duty."
She tried to hide a smile and politely looked away from his near nakedness. She scuttled to the armoire and pulled out a pair of trousers and a shirt, still trying to keep herself covered. Then she changed behind a screen. When she came out he was already dressed.
"I'd better go," he said. "You're going to be okay?"
She nodded and smiled. "Yes. Don't worry about me. Your herbs did the trick. I feel pretty good."
He smiled rakishly. "Of course. A good night's sleep will do that." And so will a good dose of Fade sex. "See you later… Commander." He left her standing in the middle of her bedroom, a confused look on her face.
"Andraste's loin lice, what have I done?" she asked her empty room.
~o~o~o~
Notes:
To Kate: You'll just have to keep reading. ;)
My humble thanks to Biff McLaughlin for continuing to beta-read for me. She's amazing. My thanks to both Biff and Zevgirl for giving me inspiration and egging me on.
My kitten Pandora got renamed to Marigold. I was researching names for orange kitties and just fell in love with the name. She never really answered to Pandora anyway. She believes she transcends mere names. She's more of a concept than a name. :)
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I normally like to acknowledge them personally, but life has been crazy so it didn't happen this time. So smooches to you all!
Now I have to think of a title for this... not as easy as you think!
