Solas had been on several missions with the Herald, which was more than welcome for him as he was still not ready to face Ava again.
He did not know why, but on that day something had happened between them. It had not been the 'kiss,' but rather the cause for it.
His magic had felt different than usual, probably because he had connected her magic with his to channel it.
She must have felt the connection as well, seeing as how she had reacted to it.
Before, he could not even fathom to kiss her or more, but now? After their magic had connected, he felt like he had been a part of her at that moment, as if his soul had been inside her body. Ever since he became more and more aware of this loneliness that had always been plaguing him.
He had sought refuge in the Fade and spirits he encountered in his dreams, but he soon came to the realization that that was not enough to fill the emptiness in his soul. He needed someone real, someone who cared for him, someone he could trust, someone whom he found solace in.
And thinking of Ava… she did care for him. They even shared a secret she trusted him to keep. He trusted her as well, but only to an extent. His darkest secrets, however, were only for him to know. Always.
It pained him to see her hurt expression whenever they would meet, since he would avoid her. He knew she did not deserve it, but he also knew he could not allow himself such feelings towards anyone.
And every time he was with her, these feelings began to develop further, his longing to fill the empty space within him growing. But how much longer could he bear the pain? He could not avoid her forever.
"Solas?" He blinked as he snapped out of his thoughts to see the Herald's concerned gaze on him. "Did you listen?"
He shook his head. "My apologies."
"It's alright," she assured him, "I just wanted to hear your opinions on our next move. After everything we might have to choose between siding with Fiona and her mages or the Templars, although I am not yet sure what side to be on."
Solas furrowed his brows at her, giving her a stern look. "Obviously, it would be much more preferable to aid the mages, Inquisitor. You would do them no good if you let them stray from one oppressor to another, who would be Corypheus. Mages are powerful and you need to use their power right."
Hata nodded after a while of thinking. "I will consider your statement."
"May I ask how you know aiding them both will be impossible?" Solas asked her with a criticising tone to which Hata sighed.
"Just because the Spymaster thinks we may not have enough time to help both, that does not have to be so," Cassandra cut in sternly, "and if you had spent less time doing simple missions, we might have had more time to help both factions."
Hata rolled her eyes and pressed her lips together, her expression becoming sour. "You know as well as I that saving citizens is of the same importance," she barked back, "we also need to further our knowledge and if you so believe it to be easy, then why don't you take the lead?"
"You are talking about saving lives and furthering our knowledge when you go help a family find their favorite ram," Cassandra scoffed.
"A ram possessed by a demon that would have attacked them sooner or later!"
"And investing hours in hunting rams for an incompetent man? We should have focused on more important matters instead of doing simple tasks for lazy people!"
Hata massaged her temple, hoping for her anger to subside. She felt relieved when Varric interrupted the Seeker. "Come on, Seeker," he began, only to get a glare.
"Do not 'come on' me, Varric!" She snapped. "We should have saved time whenever we could."
"No one could have seen this shit coming at us," he tried to reason with her, "the Herald does everything with a reason and if we had not helped that man the entire village would be starving by now. You can't expect them to go on as usual when there are demons that could jump at them from nowhere at any time."
The Seeker sighed as her face softened. "You are right. I'm sorry."
"Everyone is under stress, Seeker," Solas interfered, "especially the Herald. It is not so unusual that one acts too harshly."
"Let's just move on and save time," the qunari grunted and marched on without another word.
Thomas had been acting strange lately. Not only would Solas avoid me, but apparently that other piece of old shit, too. When I confronted him, I only got angry responses. You know those fits old geezers loved to throw? Well, our little Thomas decided to be exactly like that, ranting for a very long time. To top it off, that behavior was way too abnormal for him. I knew him, he was a calm, philosophical and caring person, not an angry personality hating the whole world.
Of course he got a hold of himself eventually, apologizing to me a few thousand times and telling me how he supposedly didn't know what had come over him.
Yeah, sure you don't, dipshit.
Anyways, he had a rough time then and I acknowledged it. The reason why he acted so repellent was because he had met another Earthling. So cool, right? Not for him, though. He couldn't stand meeting more of us as he tended to build a friendship to everyone, but most of those from the other side he had made friends with were dead because they acted out. Like the dwarf lady for example.
But the dude he introduced to me, an elf much like me by the way, had adapted pretty well to the new environment. I had encountered him in Adan's tent a few times, and he had introduced himself as his assistant Devin. I never would have thought he of all people would be one of us, he just blended in too well.
He was weird, though. I mean, he was nice and all and seemed like a calm guy, but there was this thing in his eyes. I know I might sound too prejudiced, but there was a hint of craziness in them, especially when he smiled. Even his smile seemed kind of feral, or was it just me?
What I learned about him, though, was that he was fascinated by alchemy. He loved mixing different kinds of potions and experimenting with them. Just who had he been before?
