Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated lately, I was getting ready to go back to college :P. Before things get too hectic in school, I want to write another chapter, I really love writing this story, and am glad you guys like it.

I'm also proofreading a book I wrote when I was 15, and it takes a lot of work! I see the difference from my writing then and my writing now, and it's really improved, I sucked back then! But anyway, I'll update as much as I can, here's Chapter 9.

Chapter 9

Celes walked back to her room in a daze. So many emotions were swimming through her mind; confusion, rage, regret…joy…with each passing thought, she walked faster. She walked for what seemed to be hours until she reached her room.

Celes swiftly opened the door, slamming it behind her. She locked the door, checking it three times over before plopping onto her bed face first. She burrowed her face into her pillow, breathing heavily. Fresh memories flashed through her mind.

"Why…" she muttered. Celes always thought aloud to herself, it made her feel as if she were speaking to someone else…to a friend perhaps. "Why did I divulge such information to him of all people, what was going through my mind, was I tricked, or did I want it…was I being stupid…"

Celes turned onto her back, focusing her sapphires on the plain wood ceiling. Tears stung her eyes, she forced them back with vigor. She inhaled deeply.

"What's happening to me…I would never do such a thing, I would never imagine such a thing, but yet…I would…" the woman covered her face with both her arms. Her mind scolded her ten times over.

"I felt so…helpless…I didn't want to do that, now he thinks I'm weak, I'm such a fool." Her face became a shade of crimson. "What went through my mind…"

Celes closed her eyes, reluctantly reminiscing to the passionate moment that had taken place minutes before. She tried to block out the picture in her mind, but simply couldn't.

She saw herself, being held by the gambler. Their lips were locked, Celes tried to focus on her thoughts at that current point in time. Her mind's eye couldn't stop looking at the two's embrace. She opened her eyes, rage contorting her features.

"Damn it!" she shot up. "What the hell is wrong with me, I've never felt like this before, except for with…" she wrapped her arms around her torso, shivering slightly.

"Except for with…Locke…" she took several deep breaths before speaking once more. "It couldn't be…I don't have those feelings anymore, I swore I wouldn't have those feelings ever again, they lead to nothing but pain…but are such emotions key to survival?" her eyes wandered to the small circular window. She stared out of it absent mindedly.

"What feelings were beginning to arise…when I was with Locke…why would I feel such damned emotions once again…after such a disaster…"

Celes thought back to the dramatic scene in Kohlingen, how Locke's face was contorted with utter despair at the thought of his former love, and of how he failed her. She remembered how she felt…so insignificant. How her hopes were dashed, and emotions were torn. It was that day that she swore, no emotion such as that would ever blossom in her heart again. Celes had realized now…that she broke her vow.

"Why…why him of all people, I can't stand him!" Celes thought to all of her conversations with the young airship captain, each one making her blood boil. She despised how free, how easy going he was; or perhaps…she envied it.

Celes lay back down. Her eyes closed instantly, her thoughts had exhausted her.

"It can't be…I can't be…in l-"

A knock rung on the blonde's door. Celes sat up, dreading her next encounter with a human being. She reluctantly called to the knock.

"Who is it?" she hoped she wouldn't get the response she thought it was. Luckily, it wasn't.

"It's Terra. Please Celes, I know it's late, but I need to talk to you."

"Terra…" Celes was taken back. She had been avoiding everyone on the large ship, but she had made an extra effort to avoid the half-esper girl. Celes stood, walking to the door.

"Hang on, I need to unlock this," Celes fidgeted with the lock for a few minutes, then opened the door slowly. A fully clothed Terra stood before her, her green hair flowing down her back. Celes had never seen Terra with her hair down, it was…interesting to say the least.

"May I come in?" the green haired woman asked timidly. Celes nodded coldly, her eyes taking on their usual ice cold exterior. She directed Terra to the chair next to the night stand, Terra sat. Celes sat across from her, on the hard bed. A few awkward minutes passed between the two women.

"Well?" Celes asked bluntly.

"Well…"

"It was you who came to me Terra, not the other way around. I expect you to begin the conversation, and it should be direct and stern. Not some wishy-washy bullshit, which is what usually comes out of your mouth."

A defiant, indignant look crossed Terra's face. She crossed her arms, turning her body away from the ex-general. Celes took no mind.

"That's just like you Celes, no one can be your friend, or even try to. When they out stretch their hand, you bite it off like a rabid dog. Can you ever stop acting like General Celes of the Empire?"

"Are you done?"

Terra gasped. She had at least expected Celes to be offended, but her face showed nothing of the sort.

Celes face had not wavered one inch. Instead, she tapped her foot, awaiting Terra's true intent of her intrusion. Terra's face turned red.

"Just like I said, wishy-washy bullshit. I'm not heartless Terra, but I don't care much for emotional out bursts. Did you come here for a reason, or just to lecture me on moral conduct? I truly care for neither right now."

"Right, forgive me." Terra hated how Celes made her feel. She made her feel like a child answering to her abusive mother, it didn't feel good. But still Terra felt drawn to her for some reason, most likely because of their magical gifts. Terra sighed before she spoke again.

"I am sorry, about that out burst, and the one earlier."

Celes eyebrows rose.

"I don't care about what you think Terra, it doesn't matter to me."

"…What!?"

Terra stood, agitation in her voice.

"It took me a lot of guts to come here Celes, I had to think about it for a long while before I even came here, and you don't even accept my apology, you just blow it off. Did what I said earlier even phase you?"

Celes thought for a few moments, then replied flatly.

"No. I really don't take anything you say seriously. Your too emotional Terra, I can't deal with your out bursts, I don't really remember what you said anyway." Celes lied. She remembered vividly how Terra's words had hurt her, how they whipped her like a violent wind. She would never let anyone know…how much things hurt her, never again would she show such weakness.

"I…alright Celes, I did what I wanted to do." The green haired girl stood, her curly locks bouncing on her shoulders. She slowly walked to the door.

"I really hope you can open up your heart someday Celes…to at least one person in this world." Terra closed the door. Celes sighed, laying her head down once more.

"Unfortunately," her voice was laced with regret. "I'm afraid I already have."