Thursday meant a new month and a new month meant I got paid. Three hundred dollars added to what I already had gave me enough to buy a new bed set, some curtains, a table, and a case of wine. I usually drank vodka, but after everything that's happened, I thought a switch was in order. The clear, bitter liquid might have been bad luck or something, and jesus changed water into wine, so I thought I was better off.
That morning was fifty shades of fine when I got up, straightened the house up and began on a new meal plan. Pizza and Chinese was beginning to get old, so I decided on ordering from a restaurant, maybe like salad and a daily special to keep the cost down. It'd probably be healthier that way too, by a little anyway, so I put the plan on the refrigerator and stuck it to a magnetic clip.
A dark object in the back yard caught my eye as I passed though the kitchen, a very familiar black object.
"Tobi!" I exclaimed, throwing open the back door. He twisted around and gave me a small smile, waving a little like hadn't been missing for ten days.
"Tobi, Jesus Christ! Disappear much?" I asked, kneeling to his level to get a look at him. He'd showered recently and these were not the cloths of seen him last in, so he'd gone somewhere and taken care of himself.
"I'm fine," he replied, seeing the deeper meaning to my question, "I'm back now I guess."
"Yeah, no kidding," I muttered, standing back up, "Do your aunt and uncle know your here?"
"Yeah they do, I'm back home. Actually, can you do something for me? Don't tell anyone I was here, I just came to see how Deidara was," he spoke, very clearly and very softly, like this was all some elaborate secret when he knew I was the only one home.
"He's fine, he's been gone too, but he's fine now. You gonna talk in circles all day or tell me what happened?" I asked, feeling a little déjà-vu. I'd done this same thing to Hidan a few weeks ago.
"Well, uh, Dei and I were watching a movie when my ex-girlfriend drops by. Rin is all gun ho im gonna take her back after she dumps me, but I guess I just jumped in with," he paused, unsure if he should say anything, but I informed him that I already knew about him and Deidara.
"So she's pissed but I still love her," he continued, "she goes to leave and I go with her, and I kiss her, Deidara gets up and starts yelling, Rin didn't know that uh, my door swung both ways and it was a mess."
I nodded and tried to console him after. I told him it could only get better from here, but he shook his head.
"After I found Rin I went to see my parents and I told them everything. They're mad. Beyond mad. Rin is mad too, so are my aunt and uncle."
"Well still. Id say that's pretty rock bottom. It's really hard to pick yourself up off the ground, but deep down you know what you gotta do," I told him, folding my hands in my lap. He'd have to do the work too, and grow up a lot too on the way. I was about to go back inside when I thought to tell him something else.
"Hey, Tobi, you were right about me and Sasori."
I could see him grin as I turned around and left, closing the back door behind me. I loaded the dish washer and in the small time it took to do that, he'd disappeared again. I settled down on the couch to watch an afternoon talk show Id taken a liking too and waited for the rest of the tenants to get home.
TV time was always my filler. I didn't particularly want to relax but I didn't have anything that needed to be done. It was a boring time and I found myself wishing more and more that someone other than Sasuke (who wanted nothing to do with me) would be here more often to talk to.
The afternoon passed slowly, agonizingly slowly. The first few tenants were late to come home, so everyone ended up in a cluster fuck in the driveway. I tried to stay out of it, but I found myself snickering from my view out the window as Kakuzu and Itachi tried to figure out who had to park in the street today since Sasori had stolen one of the driveway spots. Deidara flew in first fallowed by Kisame and then Sasori. The blonde ran upstairs and then back down with his black bag, stepping in front of the TV to get my attention.
"Kimi, Sasori has a project for me, I want you to come help," he insisted, nearly yanking me off of the sofa. I was glad to help after so long alone, but I was even more excited for him to let go of my hand. He lead me outside and we hauled two large plywood boards from Sasori's back seat to the back yard. Apparently Sasori had given him these to create a display for the store front. The blonde wanted to do a beach on one and a cool logo on the other made with hands.
"You've got tiny girl hands, like little kid hands, so I though you'd do good on that," he laughed, "I'll draw it out for you to start on."
"I do not have little kid hands! I'm bigger than you!" I argued, grumbling as he started spraying white paint.
"Yeah, taller by maybe a half an inch," he sneered, elbowing me and grabbing a can of light blue paint. I heard the back door open and close and looking behind me, Sasori approached with a glass of iced tea, stopping short of us to loom over Deidara as he worked.
"What are you planning, might I ask?" My boyfriend asked, almost mocking.
"Uh, a beach and a cool hand print sun, it's gonna be cool, just you wait," Deidara stood up with the orange and yellow paint cans, shaking them vigorously before he pulled out his bandana and pulled it over his nose. I stood up and took a few steps back to avoid the paint that didn't make it onto the wood. Sasori offered me a drink of his tea which i declined.
"You'll kiss me but you won't drink after me?" He ask, rolling his eyes. He had a point, after Id stuck my tongue in his mouth. He produced a bottle of yellow paint from his pocket and handed it to me, saying Deidara had asked for it.
"Do you paint too Sasori?" I asked, thumbing over the bottle. This was apparently not cheep paint.
"Sometimes," he muttered, and asked again if I wanted some of his drink. I maintained my answer as Deidara finished, having made a circle in the center reminiscent of tie-dye.
"Just wait until you see it Sasori!" Deidara boasted, puffing out his chest. He stood up, took the paint from me and squirted it all over my hands. He instructed me to rub them together and stick them to the plywood around the circle. At first it just looked like my hands, messy, but after repeating the action a few times, it really did start looking like a sun.
"This is actually really cute," I remarked, looking up to see Sasori had gone. I frowned, and asked where he had gone, but Deidara only shrugged. After I finished I thanked my pretend little brother and headed inside out of the summer sun, washed my hands up to the elbow and then when looking for Sasori. I found him in his bedroom, sitting at his desk, writing something in a moleskin note book. I knocked before I opened the door, but stayed in the door way.
"You up and left again," I pointed out, he didn't look up.
"Deidara asked to burn those after I finish with them. He said they were too permanent. I did this to give him an outlit, not to encourage him to destroy things," he replied, avoiding my unasked question. This actually had nothing to do with anything, he wasn't upset or mad, he just wanted to change the subject.
"You know how he is. Tell him no and send him to me if he throws a fit," I offered, the red head huffed. It was quiet for a while before he finally looked up, turned around and starred at me.
"I'm assuming you want to spend time together?" He asked, throwing me off guard. Well of course I did, but why point it out like that? I nodded away, deciding it was better not to ask.
"Come inside then, and shut the door," he almost commanded, and I did like he asked. He knew me well enough to know my anxiety was not completely gone, and gave me permission to sit on his bed, otherwise I would have just stood there awkwardly.
"I was going to ask you something, but I'm not sure if I want to, or if it's appropriate," he stated, turning his office chair around to face me. He folded his fingers and put his lap, looking quite serious now. I shifted and looked away from him for just a second.
"You can ask me, it's okay," I returned, soft of afraid of what he might ask with that look on his face. He sighed, looked down at his hands and then sighed again, making me wonder what was such a big deal.
"My family has decided to have a dinner to celebrate my grandmother coming back into town. Id like to bring you along, but I'm afraid of what might happen," he explained, "I don't want to take you somewhere you'll be uncomfortable."
Jesus! He wanted me to meet his family already? We'd only been dating a short time, this was a big deal! I didn't want him to think he was moving too fast or that I didn't want to meet them, usually something like this meant a relationship was getting serious.
"Yes," I smiled, "Id like to go if you'll let me."
"It's not just you I'm worried about. My family is not exactly the friendliest bunch, my sister is just about the only tolerable one," he drawled, like he had already lost what little patience he had with them.
"You'll be there, right? It'll be fine," I tried to assure him. He sighed once more and looked over his shoulder out the window.
"If your sure. It's in three days," he replied, looking back at me with a softer expression, "would you like to see what I'm working on?"
I nodded, and he got up, bringing the notebook with him. I took the book as he sat down and examined the pencil drawing on the page. He'd been drawing in charcoal pencil, sketching and shading anatomy poses. My smile widened. They were beautiful and I told him so. He thanked me as I looked back over the page, noticing that a figure on the far left had a very familiar facial structure.
"Tobi is back in town," I told him, and he sort of rolled his eyes.
"I heard. Do me a favor and tell Deidara to stay away from him," Sasori replied. I should have known with the way rumors spread in this house. He lay back on the bed and I fallowed his lead, looking up at the starch white ceiling. The line of peculiar conversation continued.
"Where do you see yourself in ten years?" He asked, his fingers creeping over to lay his hand gently across mine.
"Well, I want to go to college, I wanna get a better job, um," I trailed off, "what about you?"
"Thinking about retirement," he smiled, and it figured, in ten years he'd be forty five, "no, not really. I enjoy working where I do. Though, away from the career aspect, Id like to have a child."
"You said you hated kids," I laughed.
"I do," he replied, "however, Id hate to leave this world and leave nothing behind, no legacy."
I was in agreeance. He was right, as he was about most things. I wouldn't want to have no one to visit me when I got old or take care of my affairs after I was gone, hell, I'd want someone to at least remember me after I kicked the bucket.
"You think a lot about the future," I pointed out and he nodded, saying nothing. His eyes drifted shut and he finally relaxed. I watched him sink deeper into the bed, his chest took deeper breathes at a slower rate and I felt him tighten the grip on my hand to hold it. I decided he shouldn't have done that seconds after, because his eyes opened slowly and he sat up, looking over at me deep in thought before he got out of bed.
"I've got to go now, lock the door on your way out," he muttered, and seconds later he was gone without even so much as a good bye. I sat up too and watched him leave, unable to understand what had just happened. He'd been the one initiating it hadn't he? And I thought I didn't like to touch people! How can someone ask you to meet there family but not able to hold your hand? I groaned and put my head in my hands a moment before I left the room too, locking the door as requested. I didn't go looking for him this time, I just tried to forget about it or burry it in the bottom of a drink.
I was careful not to spill my white wine on my bed cover as I lay down, propped up on my pillows with a magazine in my other hand, I felt like my aunt who always came to christmas drunk. This wine was not doing it for me at all, so I decided to just chug a bunch of it, but that just got me buzzed and frustrated. I went looking for Deidara, finding him eating an antipasto salad that'd come with pizza a few nights ago in the living room, he offered me some, but I refused.
"Would you drive me to Walgreens please? I'm probably not good to drive," I said, swaying as the liquor started to take effect.
"I can't Kimi, sorry," he replied sort of sheepishly, mumbling something I couldn't hear.
"What was that?" I asked and he sighed.
"Sasori asked me not to help you buy anymore alcohol," he said, not able to make eye contact with me. I sighed, frustrated further, but I didn't blame him. I tried again with Kisame but he was busy and also unable to drive me. I wasn't about to ask Tobi, so I decided to just go back to my bedroom.
I was to my door when Deidara came quickly up the stairs with a set of keys in his hand. He made a motion for me to shush and we quickly left the house via the back door. He grabbed his paint stash from under the back deck and we took off. I found that Deidara was no better at driving than he was when I first meet him. I thought my head would roll off around every corner and I thought I might jerk right out of the passenger seat at every red light.
"You didn't take this car, did you?" I thought to ask at a particularly long light.
"No, Sasori gave me the keys, but he was in the dinning room, so I had to tell you no at first so I could get the keys," he grinned. He sure was smart for nineteen.
"I'm gonna try and spray a wall down town, is that okay with you?" He asked, pressing on the gas as the light turned green.
"Sure," I smiled, looking over at him. He would be the last thing I saw before a car smashed into my side. The impact didn't hurt, in fact I was fine even though broken glass covered my lap. Something large and white came at me from the corner of my eye, growing larger as it got closer until everything went black.
X
When I woke up, I was sitting in the back seat of the car. Flashers from cop cars illuminated the intersection as I sat up and tried to figure out what had happened. Deidara was sitting on the hood of Sasori's smashed car, his head in his hands, and upon noticing I was up, jumped down to hustle my direction.
"Jesus Christ, your awake!" He cried, throwing his arms around me, "I was beginning to think you were dead!"
"What happened?" I asked, patting his back. Why did the right side of my face hurt so badly?
"Some idiot ran a red light and hit us. The airbag on your side deployed and knocked you out. Do you want to go to the hospital?" He asked, but I shook my head. He helped me up and informed me that my boyfriend was on his way. I was in deep shit.
In the time before Sasori got there the other driver was ticketed, our statements were taken, and I was asked about a hundred times if I wanted to go to the hospital.
When my boyfriend did get there, he arrived in Kakuzu's car, his mood matching the color of his hair, fiery and angry,, his hands set to fists as he get out, but when his eyes fell on us, they softened.
"Oh my god Kimi," he gasped, and I was about to ask what when Deidara interrupted.
"Sasori, I'm so sorry, It wasn't my fault and I-" the blonde sputtered, but Sasori quieted him.
"I know it wasn't your fault. The car can be replaced, but please tell me, what were you doing in my car Kimi?" The red head asked, eyes narrowed and set on me.
"I was going to get alcohol," I muttered. He did not look happy.
"After I specifically asked you not to Deidara," he hissed, turning to look at the blonde.
"Hey, don't blame him," I spat, "I insisted. He just went along with it."
"Excuse me," a policeman interjected, "but we are trying to get the intersection clear."
Deidara and I went back to Kakuzu's car and climbed into the back, the banker quiet behind the wheel. After finishing up and having his busted car towed, Sasori climbed in too, and Kakuzu turned around to take us home.
I watched out the front windshield feeling sort of dizzy. I reached up to rub my aching cheek and hissed in pain. The entire car heard me, and I watched Kakuzu in the mirror grin sort of stupidly and adjusted his rear view mirror, giving me the first look at my injury.
The entire right side of my face was covered by a dark blue bruise. The air bag had caused it no doubt. I gently ran my hand over it, up my temple, under my eyes, and down my chin in disbelief.
"We'll get you some ice for it," Deidara tried to console me, but I wasn't having it. We arrived home without further event and Sasori guided me into the kitchen. Deidara had tried to fallow but the red head waved him away. He put me up on the counter and went to the freezer, got some ice, put it in a bag and handed it to me. I gingerly applied it to the bruise, whining in pain the whole time. He pulled up a chair from the small table pushed up against the wall and sat down, watching me.
"Thank you," I murmured.
"Your welcome," he replied. He had a hundred things he wanted to tell me. He wanted to tell me how angry he was that alcohol had nearly cost me my life, that he'd almost lost me, that I was a slave to my addiction, but he said none of it. The booze and the accident were not directly related, I could have been in that car for any reason, it wasn't like I was drunk.
"You don't have to go to dinner if you don't want to," he said flatly, "not with that..."
"I still wanna go," I replied, "if you still want me to."
"Of course I do," he huffed.
"What was that about earlier? When you tried to hold my hand?" I asked, quietly. At first I thought he hadn't heard me. A silence proceeded my question, so I thought maybe he'd only heard me mumble.
"Is that why you were drinking?" He asked, seemingly surprised.
"I drink for a lot of reasons, don't change the subject," I replied, taking the ice away from my numbing face. He sighed and reclined in the chair, his eyes evaluating everything in the room except for me. Then he got up, checked the living room and dinning room for people, and when he found none, he sat back down and sighed again, deeper this time.
"I have a problem connecting with people. I lost both of my parents when I was seven, since then," he shook his head, directing his attention down to his hands where he found something very interesting with his finger nails, "I'm trying."
"I'm glad your trying," I smiled, "you go at your own pace okay?"
He nodded as I picked my ice pack back up, drained sone of the melted water out and applied it to my bruise again. My boyfriend noted that it looked a little lighter, though I think he was just trying to make me feel better.
Sasori was more damaged than he appeared on the outside. He really cared about me deep down, but he was also quick to attach himself to others, but then pushed them away. He was constantly afraid of loosing everyone just like he did his parents, one minute they'd be there and then gone the next.
The red head got up, grabbed a dish towel and helped me down off of the counter. He insisted it was bed time, but I didn't want it to be. I settled for a little time laying next to each other in my bed, peacefully enjoying a quiet moment together before he left. I put the dish towel between me and the ice pack so I could lay on it and half lidded, wondering what else I could do to help him without pushing him. I supposed nothing, like me and my own problem, he would have to over come it himself.
