I also need baby names, people! Boy and girl! Please????
I spent the day crying while laying on the couch, sobbing my heart out in agony. What was I going to do now? I was having a baby with no support, plus I think I just broke up with my boyfriend. Oh my God. "You shouldn't of done that," I whispered, but I contradicted myself immediately. Edward shouldn't have yelled at me for not agreeing to the Pill in the first place, he could have just been calmer. He could have comforted me and told me we could do this. But he didn't.
So we couldn't then. I had to get rid of this baby after all. So about an hour after Edward stormed out I called a hospital all the way in Port Angeles for an abortion. They were able to squeeze me in for tomorrow around noon. I knew I would still be home (morning) sick (ness) and alone. No one would ever know I was about to have a baby, that this could have been the highlight of my life. I could just suffer on the inside, on what this could have been.
Jasper got home at the usual time with Alice hot on his heels, smiling. I think she got back to normal a while after her negative pregnancy, but there was always something a little more off about her. I was still cuddled in a warm blanket, crying and sniffling on the couch.
"Hey, Bella, how ya feeling?" Alice asked, sitting under my feet. Suddenly her eyes widened. "Bella, your crying, what's wrong?"
"Bella?" Jasper asked, confused, walking in the room with two sodas.
"Nothing!" I covered my head with the blanket. I heard the soda cans open with a popping and airy sound.
Jasper asked somewhere close to my head, "Do you know where Edward went? He said he was coming to see you, but he never came back. Did something happen?" The worry and caution in his voice was easy to hear and made me cry harder.
They both let me cry it out for a few minutes, rubbing my back and telling me its going to be okay. I listened, but I didn't believe. Finally I tried to calm myself down and talk. "If I tell you something," I said slowly and quietly, "do you promise not to yell at me? And not be just...rude?" The words were hard to come out.
"What's going on, Bella?" Alice asked, pulling me up so I was sitting. "Is it something with Edward? Did he do something or say something? Bella?"
"I'm pregnant!" I sobbed, my face falling into my hands. I really hadn't wanted to tell anyone yet, anyone so soon, but I just couldn't help it. Only Jasper and Alice could know this early. I didn't want our parents to know or Emmett and Rosalie, because then it would definitely get around and that wasn't needed; this baby would be history. I started crying again, louder. I actually did want this baby. It surprised me too, but more because I wouldn't get what I really, really wanted.
The two of them stared at me blankly, surprised and confused. Alice rubbed my hand soothingly while Jasper just stared.
"Oh. My. God." It was all that came from Jasper's mouth. "B-Bella, what a-are you going to do?" he managed to asked, looking choked.
Swallowing I wiped my eyes as more tears came and I left out a single sob. "I-I call...ed a hospital in P-Port Angeles. I-I'm getting an abortion tomorrow."
"What!?" Alice shrieked, pushing up from the couch. "How could you kill a baby, Bella? Don't you have a heart? I want to be an aunt," she whined, sinking to the couch again and tearing up.
I shook my head. "I just wanted to guys to know before I-I..." I cleared my throat with another single sob. "...before I go tomorrow."
"And kill my niece or nephew!" Alice frowned, crossing her arms.
"Whatever," I muttered, throwing the blanket off of my body and heading for the stairs. I heard Alice call, "Its not debatable?" after me, but I didn't answer. Edward didn't want this baby, so I wouldn't burden him with it. Instead I went to my room to cry myself to sleep.
EPOV
I couldn't believe the mistakes I made, and the ones I'd blamed on Bella. I'd made some very big and bad choices, but was too much of a wimp to admit my mistakes.
Bella was right – it does take two to make a baby.
A baby...Our baby. And I had gone and fucked that one right up. Maybe it wasn't my dream, but it was a miracle to have a baby with Bella. I couldn't think of anything better or a better person to have a baby with. And now what had I done? I'd yelled and accused and I think we broke up. What was she going to do with the baby?
Oh, this is all my fault, I thought. My baby. Bella's baby. Our baby. How could I ruin its chance at a life by being a total dick? But I knew the answer right away.
I wanted Bella and I to be able to have that teenage life, where we could have all that love together and have all the sex we wanted. Without a child to interrupt us with what we wanted. But that still didn't change how I felt about having a baby with Bella: Happy. "You messed this shit up," I muttered repeatedly, shaking my head. Why would that stuff even come from my mouth? I'd blamed this on her, but it wasn't exactly her fault. Maybe I should have taken care of the protection. Maybe I should have rolled that condom on instead of going free without any protection. This was my fault, too.
The only question was how I make this up the Bella. We'd yelled and shouted and cursed at each other because of this baby, and she swore she didn't want to see me ever again. It would probably have been different if we weren't having a baby together. How could I make it up to my Bella? Something told me begging wouldn't do anything.
"Fuck," I swore, pushing off my bed. Wearing only a pair of sweatpants rolled down low I opened the window and lit a cigarette. As I exhaled the smoke out I closed my eyes in satisfaction. Something had to be done soon.
"Alice! Alice, stop!" I recognized Jasper's voice shouting, and then the sounds of stomping down the hall. What was going on?
"No, Jasper! Not until you talk some sense into her!" A door slammed.
Seconds later the closed door to my room flung open roughly and Jasper stormed in. "What's going on with Alice?" I asked, looking toward the door.
"Edward Anthony Cullen, what the fuck did you do to my sister?" Jasper snapped.
Putting out the cigarette I gave him a confused look. "What are you talking about? I didn't do anything to Bella."
"Well, Alice and I went back to my house and walked in on Bella crying her eyes out! What the hell did you do to her, Edward?" he asked angrily, chest heaving. "Besides get her pregnant."
My eyes widened. "She told you?" I asked, surprised. I didn't think she would tell anyone this soon.
"Yeah, do you have a problem with it?"
"Uh, no, of course not. I'm just surprised, that's all. But I didn't do anything."
"Well, I guess it doesn't matter." Jasper shrugged, seeming to cool down. "Because she is getting the abortion tomorrow." He turned on his heel to leave, but I caught his wrist and yanked him back.
"What?" I snapped.
"The abortion, idiot."
Then he yanked his arm from my grip and walked out.
I wonder if they keep the baby...I wonder how they'll make up...I wonder if Alice wants her own baby...Huh, no wondering -- gotta start writing!
Luv y'all! Review!
-Mickey
