JasperPov
The first thing I noticed upon approaching the house was that not only had Alice shoved the door off of its hinges but thrown it across the room in the process. It was now broken into several pieces on and around the sofa. I couldn't help but think of a mama bear, who'd do anything to protect her cubs. My wife was sure a force to be reckoned with.
The next I noticed was the smell of blood. I wasn't surprised by this but I was surprised by how little it was affecting me right now. I was more concerned about Hope and whether she was ok then about my own thirst.
I heard hysteric sobs coming from the basement and my dead heart felt like it stopped beating all over again.
These were cries of pain and gut wrenching agony. One wouldn't guess so much misery could come from one person. So much guilt, and self hatred. It broke my heart into a million pieces.
I went downstairs to Alice holding the small girl, who just seemed beyond hysteric with guilt, shame and agony. I also noticed that the smell of blood on her clothes was fueling a whole other fire.
HOPE
I heard Jasper approaching but it didn't register in my mind. Nothing was really registering, the blood on my clothes was driving me beyond crazy.
"The blood on her clothes," Jasper pointed out, no doubt reading my emotions.
I couldn't form coherent thoughts anymore.
I felt myself Alice scooping me into her tiny arms and carrying me upstairs and to the bathroom. Before I knew it, the blood drenched clothes were gone and I was in a hot bath. I heard Alice order for someone to take them and burn them. She quickly returned her attention to me. She looked worried and really concerned.
"Let's get this blood out of your hair," she said, washing all traces of blood away.
Once I had soaked, I was carried out and dressed in Pajamas before I could process anything and I was suddenly in Alice and Jasper's room. I knew Alice was moving at an insanely fast speed, even for a vampire. More than likely she was trying to beat the meltdown that was obviously building up. Now that I wasn't wearing human blood, reality crashed back onto me.
Alice just laid down with me while I cried into her shoulder. I could feel circles being rubbed against my back. I didn't know I was capable of hurting so much. I wasn't just crying for the man I'd killed today, I was crying for every person I'd killed. All of the brief and pain I'd been biting back was all coming out at once and it hurt like hell.
"I... I... I'm s-s-sorry, I-I," but again I was crying too hard to get the words out.
"I know," Alice whispered softly, her voice trembling. I felt Jasper sit on the bed and before I knew it, I was curled into his arms too. If I had have known better, I'd think they were crying with me.
ALICE
I don't know how long Hope cried until she finally passed out, but she still sobbed in her sleep. Edward knock softly on the door and walked in. Neither Jasper nor I wanted to risk moving to wake Hope up.
"It's been taken care of," he said. "She's not just crying for what happened today, she's crying for all of them. She blames herself for all of the people she..." he told us, his voice was broken.
"Where are Bella and Nessie?" I asked.
"Down at the cottage, the blood around front was too much for her," he said. "You'll need to assure her that you don't hate her," Edward said as he left. A small sob came from Hope and she clung onto Jasper and I for dear life. We stayed that way until Hope finally stirred.
HOPE
I guess I was hoping it had all been a dream. But when I saw I was in Alice and Jasper's arms, it hit me that it wasn't. I was covered in a thick blanket and Jasper tightened his grip on me, sensing a downward emotional shift. Of course they were awake, they didn't sleep so it meant that much more that they stayed with me all night.
"Are you okay?" Alice asked, probably already knowing the answer to that.
I shook my head. I felt a bit better but it didn't change the fact that my weakness had gotten me into trouble again. I was nothing but trouble to this family.
"I feel that," Jasper sighed. "You're not weak. Most newborns would have done what you had done and ran off to find more. You might not have Bella's control but you're doing better than most. During the first year, most vampires only express two emotions thirst and rage. A normal newborn wouldn't care who they killed and in what quantities. Right now smelling blood triggers a reaction that shuts down the logical part of your brain and all you can acknowledge is blood."
"Look, I know what you're going through and I know it doesn't mean much but this is the time when your bloodlust it more difficult than it will ever be. It usually takes close to a year, sometimes longer, for a new vampire to be able to get within a mile of humans and if they spill blood, forget about it. Most older vampires would have serious issues with that. I still do," Jasper said honestly.
"Look, we understand what happened was an accident and we don't blame you for . The family made a decision, we're not leaving Forks but we are going to move a few miles deeper into the woods. That will decrease the chance of human traffic. After a few months, we'll try moving back to see how you do," Alice said. "We need to stay off the radar anyway, so it works to our favor."
"How close was I to losing those red eyes?" I asked.
"You've already lost them," Jasper sighed, as though the color of my eyes just crossed his mind.
Alice showed me a mirror and my eyes were black, like endless pits in my eyes. My throat burnt like crazy now that it was brought to my attention.
"I feel that too," Jasper sighed. "From here on out, we're going to take proper precautions with you. You will be with a Cullen at all times, especially when you hunt. I want you to let someone know the minute you need to hunt so as to prevent incidents, okay? If you really need to go, grip their face with your hands and tell them you need to go hunting" he said.
I nodded.
"Jasper?"
"Yeah?" he asked.
I took his face with my hands and made him look me in the eyes.
"I need to hunt." Alice burst out laughing and soon, we were all laughing for once.
Next chapter will be up soon.
