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Matt's POV

The pain I had few hours ago was gone now. That was horrible. I never felt a pain as high. Kelly was still here but asleep on the chair he didn't leave, even for drink and eat. Sonia and the other nurses cared about this. So they gave him some food and drink from the cafeteria. He was still there for me, as I was there when he needed me a year ago, when Shay died. I wanted to let Kelly sleep because I knew he didn't sleep well because of the chair. And I needed to get out of the bed. So I took off the wires in my chest -again-, grabbed my IV pole and left the room. Just five steps out of the room and I had Sonia on my back.

"Matt, where do you think you can go?"

"My legs are sore."

"Bite me..."

She sighed with a smile on her face.

"Your brother told me you were stubborn, but I didn't think it was THAT stubborn."

I didn't reply. No need. But to my surprise, she helped me to get out the ICU to go to the roof. She let a word on my bed to Kelly, so he could join us when he'll be awake.

"I know you like the roof, but why?"

She didn't know why. So I tried to explain.

"It was... The first time I saw the sun after... After what happened."

I tried to find words, but it was hard.

"So... I came on the roof to..."

"To feel alive?"

I nodded. I liked this woman. She was severe but just and soft. It was like she always knew me. She could read on me like an open book. This was her job after all.

"Yeah. And, um... I needed fresh air too."

"Why not the park?"

"Too crowded. I just... Wanted to be alone, for the first time in days."

"How did you know how to go to the roof? We can go in it, but not the patient, not alone I mean."

"You", I began, searching my words, "You weren't in this hospital before, were you?"

"Well, yes."

"So why don't I know you?"

She opened her mouth, but was speechless.

"I've been in ICU around two years ago. In february 2013 to be exactly."

"It explained why I wasn't there!"

I frowned.

"It was my meternity leave."

"Oh..."

She laughed. And I smiled. She made me feel better already. I forgot everything when I was here.

"When I'm here. I... Kind of... Think about something else. And, um... I don't know how to say that."

"So tell me with your words."

I didn't want her to think I was wooing her.

"Um... I feel better when... When I'm with you."

I felt my cheeks turning red. I lowered my eyes, ashamed.

"Don't be like that Matt. It's OK. I know you didn't say that to flirt with me. And I tell my husband everything so I think he doesn't mind. If I can help, I'm here. That's why I am a nurse. I'm here to help people who needs help. And you need help."

I smiled a little. I was weird.

"I need to go back to work. But I can't let you here alone. You need to go back to your room."

"Yeah... But, um... Kelly needs to sleep."

"And eat and drink too. I'll ask another nurse to bring you down the cafeteria to grab some food and drink for him. You know your brother more than us."

I nodded. Yeah, Kelly needed to eat.

"But I have to ask you something. Who was this girl yesterday when you were in the shower?"

"Gabby?"

She nodded. Then, I felt bad. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply.

"She was... My fiancee. It didn't work."

"Can... Can I ask you why?"

"She... I'm a firefighter, and um... She became a firefighter but to be one of us, she had to go to my team, so... We broke up."

"You broke up because of this job?"

"Sort of."

I didn't want to talk about it.

"So why you... Panicked when you saw her?"

Damn... Not this question. I felt my hands and my arms beginning to shake.

"Stupid question, I get it. Sorry."

I felt bad. Because I didn't want to talk about it to nobody. They didn't have the right to know.


Kelly's POV

When I woke up, it was already late. My watch said 6PM. So I slept around four hours. More than I had when it was night. I prefered watch Matt asleep, feeling he was out of the wood, and with us again. I was so glad about that.

"You're awake now?"

I jumped out of the chair and stood up. Matt was there with a nurse behind the door, with arm full of food and drink.

"Sonia told me you didn't eat and drink, so I grabbed for you some of them."

Matt...

"Matt, you don't need to do that. You can't barely eat and you grab food for me!"

"Kelly. I'm not the only one who needs to eat. You too. Or you will admit as me!"

Matt sat in the bed and the nurse put again the wires on his chest.

"Mr. Casey, your blood pressure is a little low and your heart rate a bit elevated."

"I was sick sooner. Ask Sonia."

"What did she give to you?"

"I don't know. Kelly?"

"Um... She said something like... Nexi..."

"Nexium?"

"Yeah, this one."

"Which dose?"

"I think it was 40mg, with saline."

"Okay, and it was when?"

"You can read the chart I'm not a doctor. If Sonia gave him something, it's in his chart."

Kelly was angry. But the nurse did read the chart and left.

"I think you let her angry too."

"She is a nurse, before asking, she has to read patient's chart. Don't you agree?"

"Why being so rude?"

"Because... I don't know. It was like I was in a middle of an interrogation."

Suddently, I heard a gasp escape Matt's lips.

"Matt? Matt!"

Oh God! What did I say?

"I need help!"

What did I do? Why I said this word? Matt was hyperventilating now... He was sweating a lot, and can't breathe normally anymore. And the EKG sounded like crazy. Two nurses came in and sedated him to calm him down. Damn... I passed my hands in my hair and inhaled deeply. They called Dr. Bennett.

"You sedated him?"

"We had no choice sir. He was hyperventilating and..."

"It's my fault doc."

He turned to face me.

"Kelly?"

"A nurse came to check on him and... She said his BP was low and his heart rate was high, so she interrogated him and me. When she left I said it to Matt."

"He panicked no longer after?"

"Just after I said this word. ''Interrogation''."

Bennett watched Matt deeply asleep in the bed.

"So... Some words reminds him his situation and his captivity."

"Hell yeah! And after he panicks! I don't know what to do or to say..."

I was helpless. I felt helpless.

"Kelly, this", speaking about the situation and Matt's mood, "Takes time. Lot of time. His first session with Dr. Charles is tomorrow."

"When... Will he wake up?"

"It's not a strong dose of haldol he received. Not long. Sonia will come when he'll wake up to feed him."

"He tried this noon. A spoon of vanilla yoghurt. But he vomited. Sonia had to give him some... Nexium. 40mg."

"Yeah, she briefed me. She said she wanted to try some soup, her mother's soup tonight. And I agree. Maybe liquid food can pass in his organism. With the feeding tube, it's OK, so maybe with his mouth too."

"Yeah... I hope so."