Fitz POV
"Ceej, you're supposed to be bringing the clothes in here, what are you doing?"
I wasn't frustrated at all I just wondered what was taking my daughter so long. She enjoyed helping out with chores and knowing it wouldn't always be this way, I took advantage of letting her help as much as possible. We had just got done cleaning the kitchen and now we were preparing to fold laundry together. I had cleared the couch so we could lay the load out and fold together while we talked about her day at school.
"I'm coming daddy."
She was coming around the corner from the laundry room with her small arms full of clothes. Unknowingly she was dropping things along the way and I could only shake my head at her.
"Bug, you're kinda dropping things now. I told you to not try and get it all at once."
"Hmph!" She huffed dropping the clothes on the couch then looking at me. Her little hands were on her hips and she arched an eyebrow although I wasn't sure that she was aware she was doing it.
"Dad, I can carry it all! I only dropped a little bit of clothes."
I gave her a taste of her own medicine and arched an eyebrow her way at her choice of words.
"I mean DaDDY!" She said emphasizing the "ddy"
I didn't prefer the term "dad" because it made her sound like she was much older than she was. I knew one day she wouldn't dare consider calling me "daddy" so I made certain she didn't get ahead of herself too soon.
"You're right, you did well. Go grab the few things you dropped and let's start folding."
"You promised I could fold shirts and pants this time, Daddy remember?"
"Yes I remember so hurry up so we can practice."
She normally only helped with folding her socks and her own underwear or undershirts. It was mostly things she could wrinkle up and I not care, but this time she wasn't being fooled and insisted on folding actual clothes. She hurried back and scooped up the few items before plopping down on the couch next to me. I started with a shirt and laid two out in the small table that sat in the middle of the room and encouraged her to do exactly as I did. She was a perfectionist and huffed and puffed each time she noticed her shirt not looking exactly like mine and would start over.
"Bug, it's not an easy thing to do so it's okay to not get it perfect the first time. How about this, you can fold it the best that you can do and we will leave it like that."
"I can fold all my clothes? But what about wrinkles?"
"Well not everything, but you can fold your okay clothes. Pick through the pile for your play clothes and you can fold those."
I was happy she was being so compliant. I folded clothes, being sure to leave any play clothes as I watched her face full of concentration. Her folding wasn't bad at all. There were obvious wrinkles that would be visible as she wore the clothes but accomplishing this was making her happy and that's all that really mattered to me.
"I'm gonna go put the wet clothes in the dryer, I'll be right back."
I got up and went to put the wet sheets and comforter that belonged on her bed, into the dryer and worked on loading another load.
"Daddy, who's clothes is this?" I heard her tell from the other room.
"What?" I tried to talk over the loud running water, hoping she'd be patient until I came back.
"Who's clothes? It's blue and pretty!"
"Bug, wait till I come back in there. I can't hear you."
I added a cupful of no-dye detergent to her small load of brights went back into the living room but froze when I finally saw what my daughter was referring to.
"Who's clothes, daddy?"
How the hell did that happen? Yes she had washed clothes the last time she was here but there was no way we'd missed leaving her clothes behind. Yet there was CJ holding up one of the blouses I had gotten for Olivia on my trip to Target. I had picked it out because I knew it would look angelic against her soft skin and it had.
"Umm, that's my shirt."
"No it's a girl's shirt, daddy!"
She giggled thinking it was the funniest thing, but I knew she wouldn't drop it.
"It's a grown up girl's shirt, is it for Livia? Is she gonna come back to our house?"
Wow. I hadn't expected that. I thought the topic of Olivia had been squashed and I had gotten her off the "Olivia train."
That Morning Before School
"Daddy, there's hair on the floor."
"Okay, why don't you pick it up?"
Was she really complaining about hair being on her bathroom floor? There was always hair on her bathroom floor because that's where I usually did her hair.
"But it's black hair! I don't have black hair, daddy."
Instantly knowing whose hair it was, I walked into the bathroom and saw her on her hands and knees inspecting the curly strands.
"This isn't from my head. It's not yours daddy, it's long and black. Your hair's light brown like mines."
"I don't know, Bug."
Lie.
"I think it looks like Livia's hair. Do you remember our friend Livia? Is she gonna come back to visit us again?"
"No Bug, it's not Olivia's hair. I think.. I think it's just from a new rug I put in your bathroom while you were gone."
"Well, where is it?"
She wasn't dumb and I was feeling horrible for lying to her but I couldn't do this to her and I wasn't ready, we weren't ready to explain anything to her. Until we knew what the future held, there was no way I could involve CJ in this. It might have been stingy but I would be stingy for the rest of my life if it meant protecting my daughter and this was one of those times.
"I uh, I had to take it back because it kept looking all of its fuzzy hairs."
"But it doesn't look like fuzzy hairs, it looks like people's hair. It looks like Livia's hair and I miss her, Daddy."
"Bug, you didn't really know Olivia."
"But she was really nice to me and she made me breakfast and talked to me and she had pretty brown skin like the lady's at grandma's church. I wish I could see her again." She brought out the pout and I felt horrible.
"Listen Bug, how about later we make some hot chocolate and roast marshmallows outside."
"On the grilly thing with sticks?"
"Yep! We can roast them together and do as many as you want."
"Yes! I wanna do it!"
"It's a date, Bug."
"But Daddy and CJ date night is on Sunday's."
Her eyes were skeptical but I knew she was just curious in the change of plan.
"True, but we can have a date dinner tonight and roast marshmallows and drink hot chocolate. Does that sound good?"
"Yes!"
She bounced frantically and I scooped her up in my arms and walked out of the bathroom with a sigh of relief. Olivia crisis averted.
"Bug, no. Can we not go there again? I don't know who's shirt it is, but no more Olivia talk okay?"
The excitement in her eyes disappeared and I had to force myself to not admit everything to her. I gently took the shirt from her and pulled her onto my lap turning her so her knees were on my thighs and we were eye to eye.
"I know you liked Olivia. I liked her too Bug, it right now we can't see her. I wish I could give you everything you want, but sometimes I can't Bug and I'm sorry."
She leaned forward and kissed my nose, somehow being the stronger one and hugged my neck afterwards. I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to give her everything and that included giving her a mother that deserved her. I wasn't sure if that mother could one day be Olivia, but it was far too soon to be thinking that way. I had to take things one day at a time.
"You need to hang up."
"No, you hang up."
"No you….. wait, we aren't gonna be one of those….."
She went silent and I waited for her to say the word neither of us had dared to use in the past two weeks.
"One of those what, Livvie?"
"Nothing. Forget I said anything Fitz."
"You know I can't drop that, Liv. I think you want to call us a couple and I think I might want to call us that too."
She was quiet again and I could picture her biting her bottom lip, a tactic she used to stop what she called 'word vomit.'
"Alright Livvie, one minute."
"One minute of what?"
"One minute of honesty." I responded and I gave her a few minutes to gather her thoughts before she responded.
"We shouldn't label us. It's putting too much pressure on me and I don't want to label us and have the inevitable happen where I'm ripped away from you. It's already a lot for me to be this open with you without thinking I'm an idiot."
"Okay, one minute for me. I think that it's impossible to not label us as something. You've been at my home every weekend for the past month and I'm too invested. You know I am and it's unfair to not at least let us have a label for ourselves. It's not like the rest of the world knows anything about you, let alone the two of us. You can be afraid of a label when it comes to other people, but there's no one else, Livvie. It's you and me. And to be honest, I want a label even if it's just for me to know. For the past month, I've held you in my arms as you slept for just one night and it's the second best part of my week. So you don't have to label us, but know that I am going to label us."
She didn't say anything for a few seconds and I wondered how far I had pushed her. She would probably be hanging up on me any minute and I would have to deal with it.
"You look longer than a minute."
I chuckled at her statement. 'One minute's were new to us, but it was a phrase that we could call out and during that time, either of us had to follow the rules. We'd do one minute of honesty, joke telling to break the ice if the moment had gotten too serious. One minute of past experiences was my least favorite. I loved hearing about her past, but it usually left her in tears because she was so far from that life. My favorite had to be our one minute of holding one another. We never did one minute of kissing because one, we never needed to set aside that specific time, and two, we didn't want to limit ourselves to one minute. But even if we did, holding would still be my favorite. Kissing her was incredible, but knowing that she found comfort and safety in my arms was the best feeling. It had become a coping mechanism I had learned weeks ago and I also found myself constantly relaxed when she was in my embrace.
"Even if it's just for the two of us to know, I want to call you my girlfriend."
"Okay."
I didn't expect that to come from her, but I welcomed it.
"Good. Did you decide what you wanted to have for dinner tomorrow night, girlfriend?"
"Fitz!" she said with an astonished chuckle.
"Olivia!" I had to mock her. I imagined her blushing face and felt my pants tighten unconsciously. "But seriously, what did you want to have? If I don't have it, I'll run to the store before I pick you up tomorrow."
"That won't be necessary. I have something here I want to make for you, so I'll handle dinner tomorrow."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. So how was CJ tonight? Was she upset?"
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.
"That's a yes." She spoke deadpanned into the phone. "You have a tell, you know. Every time you're stressed or about to be stressed and you're unsure of yourself, you go quiet and run your hands through your hair and I know you're doing that now. Tell me what happened."
"She was a little less than enthused about going with my mom tomorrow."
"Fitz you can't do this again. Maybe we should cancel this weekend."
"No Livvie, she's fine. She has a blast with my mom and she will have just as much fun as she normally does."
"Last weekend was already a stretch with her staying until Sunday night. I can't be the reason your daughter is unhappy, Fitz."
"You're not, so don't say that. My daughter is fine. She can see my mom on the weekends. It's not a big deal."
"But not at the cost of seeing me. Fitz, if she is fussing about going there.."
"Olivia, she can't always get her way." I said interrupting her. I just didn't get why she didn't understand.
"No Fitz, you can't always get your way."
Her voice was soft and it almost pissed me off. How did she not understand what all I have given up in my life? I wasn't going to let her be one of them without putting in a fight.
"I've never gotten my way with anything. Not with work, not with life, and not with you."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that if I had my way with you, there'd be no need for the weekend dates because you would've never left like I wanted. So I don't have my way, Olivia."
Liv POV
I knew I had taken it too far and Fitz was upset. I just knew he couldn't see things from my point of view.
"Just answer this, before I came alone, did CJ go to your mom's every weekend?"
I waited a beat and he still didn't respond, yet his silence spoke volumes.
"I'm done talking about this, Olivia."
"Fitz, I was CJ. She has it a million times better, but I was the little girl that had her daddy at her beck and call and he was all I had, then he was gone. Slowly he faded out of my life and I know the situations are different and you would never do that to CJ, but I get what it's like to feel that separation from the one person who's your entire world. It hurt. It hurt like hell and you can tell that it still hurts me."
When Fitz didn't respond for two whole minutes, I knew he needed time to think and I let him have that.
"Call me when you're ready to talk, Fitz. I'll be here." I whispered into the phone before hanging up.
I tossed the phone aside and lay back on my bed to think. This was the hard part about our…..relationship? He might not have been able to see what our time together was costing CJ, but I could see it clearly. The fact that CJ didn't know about us made things difficult and it was only a matter of time before he would see a drastic change in her behavior. I studied children for years professionally and helped them through the hardest transitions in life, so I knew what I was talking about. Her having to leave for the weekend was only because we were hiding. If we wanted to be really honest, we'd have to admit that we were lying to her as well. As much as I wished I could see the little girl and make this entire situation easier, I knew Fitz had reasonable wishes that I had to respect.
I heard the front door open before the sounds of locks going back into place was heard and the alarm was disarmed.
"Liv?"
"I'm here."
I wasn't sure why he always called my name as a question, but I didn't expect things to change.
"I don't have any plans for the rest of the day, so if you have any errands you need me to run, I can. I didn't get a washer and dryer today and I'm sorry about that. Do you want me to take your things to a laundry mat? They have one in town. I don't mind.
I appreciated the gesture and watched him as he stood in my doorway and averted his gaze away from mine.
"No Huck, but thank you for offering. I washed some things at Fitz's house last weekend and it's not like I'm using a lot of clothes during the week, so I'm okay. I'll bring a few things with me tomorrow to wash, and he insists anyway. Well, if I'm going that is."
"Did your plans change?" He made eye contact with me for a split second before looking away.
"We just disagreed on something. I guess we had our first fight? I don't know, but I'm just not sure if going tomorrow is a good idea. I'll leave that choice up to him."
"I uh… I've been watching him. Just a little, but I've been doing it."
"Fitz? Why? I thought you trusted him?"
I was more than confused.
"I do trust him but I'm still keeping an eye on him. You asked me to protect him too. He's doing different things and when I noticed it, I started following him."
"Well, what did you find out?"
The sleeves of my shirt became my comfort zone as I twisted them around, preparing myself for what Huck was going to say.
"He's in contact with his old firm. Not with any colleagues specifically, but he's looking at different positions they have open."
"What do you mean?"
"It looks as if he's trying to get his old position back or at least be re-licensed to practice criminal law."
"Criminal law? Why would he go back to…."
Because of me. I felt the tears spring to my eyes at the thought of him moving mountains for me just like he said he would. I still felt unworthy of his dedication.
"I think he cares for you. A lot."
I didn't respond to him because I didn't want to admit what I already knew.
"He hasn't practiced in years. It would take a couple of weeks, maybe even a month or so to get his re-certification complete, but I imagine he's doing this for you. He doesn't want this to ruin your life and neither do I. If he can help and is willing to, then I'll take it."
Huck seemed so sure of himself and I had never seen this side of him. A side that seemed trusting. Him trusting another person was a new discovery because I knew Huck handled things on his own.
"He uh… he told me he loved me."
I had barely admitted to myself that it happened, but I had to stop holding it in. I had cried myself into exhaustion that night, but I hadn't fallen asleep until I heard those words. They were soft but he sounded so sure of himself. Yet, and still they terrified me.
"I had just opened up to him about how close I used to be with my dad and after I broke down, he just held me for a while and said it. He thought I was asleep, but I wasn't. It scared me."
"Are you still afraid? If being here is too much, say the word and I'll find someplace else for us to go."
I looked up and noticed he was looking directly at me with his usual serious eyes. Huck was also someone that had moved mountains for me and was still trying to do so. Whatever I said, he would do and I found the control I seemed to have over him, selfish.
"Thanks Huck, but I can't run from him. I want to stay here for as long as I possibly can."
"As long as you're sure, Liv. Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. Because I think I love him too."
Fitz POV
I knew Olivia was right, but her being right meant that I was failing as a father. I was actually sending my daughter away against her wishes just so that I could spend time with a woman that technically wasn't mine. That would come across horrible, but the only defense that I had was all that I needed. Olivia wasn't just any woman, she was someone I loved and was falling deeply in love with. She makes me smile, laugh, worry. She makes me want to be a better man and father to my daughter. She makes me want to dream of a life I never imagine having and I didn't want that to end. Maybe I would have to reconsider how I spent time with her and go back to mine and CJ's normal weekend schedule, but there was no way I was giving up on her so easily.
I looked to my right and smiled at the little wild child sleeping next to me. It had been an hour since Olivia had hung up the phone. After taking a shower and preparing CJ's lunch, backpack and overnight bag for tomorrow, I had climbed in bed with intentions of calling her back until CJ stumbled into my room and claimed the spot next to me. She had barely hugged and kissed me goodnight because she was upset about going to my mother's and I took advantage of her sleep state and cuddled with her. It seemed that she was growing by the second and I knew that soon enough my six year old would be sixteen and doing her best to avoid spending quality time with her old man. I still planned to have Olivia over this weekend but needed to figure out a plan afterwards.
I took one last look at CJ before rolling off the bed. I grabbed my cell phone before walking downstairs to the living room and dialing her number.
"Hi"
Had it only been almost two hours since I heard her voice? It seemed like it had been longer because I missed hearing it and it caused me to release a breath I hadn't known I was holding.
"Hi Livvie. I need to apologize to you.."
"You don't. I overstepped and tried to tell you how to raise your daughter when you do a great job at it."
"Do you believe what you said?"
"I do."
"I do too. You weren't wrong, you were right and I'm glad you said it to me. I know I have to get things back to normal for her and I will. Will you still come tomorrow? Just tomorrow and we can work something out for the next time."
"I'd like that."
She couldn't see it, but a smile lit up my face and I felt alive. There was just a split second earlier that I felt I had lost her.
Liv POV
"So what are we making? I heard Fitz ask after he walked into the kitchen behind me.
"Oh you don't have to help, I can do it."
"Hey, I need to you let our….disagreement go. You were right and I was wrong. We are good. I'm not mad or anything. I just want us to enjoy tonight."
"That is what I want too."
He moved closer to stand in front of me and his arms were around my waist, hovering just above the waistband of my pants in what he called "the safety zone." He smirked his familiar smirk that always let me know he wanted to kiss me and when I nodded subtly, he leaned in to kiss me. His lips on mine was easily one of the best feelings I had ever discovered. His lips alone could make me shudder and when his tongue entered my mouth, I felt as though the wind was being knocked out of me. A few seconds later, he went to pull away, but I stopped him and shoved my tongue back in his mouth. Both of our eyes opened at my forwardness and when I finally broke the kiss, his smirk was back.
"Did you enjoy yourself, Livvie?"
"Ugh, don't make fun of me!" I pushed him in the chest, unsuccessful in moving him out of my way.
"I'm not, I'm not. I'm just messing with you. I will never be against you taking control, especially when it comes to kissing me."
He leaned in and gave me a big kiss on the lips before he turned and walked towards the sink. He was speaking but I hadn't heard a word he said and I couldn't force my mind to focus at all. His kiss was….. big. It was big and wet. And I liked it. I had never been kissed so simply, yet so fully at the same time. It was officially my favorite kiss next to the small nips he would do sometimes. Those were great too.
"Earth to Olivia."
"What?" I said snapping out of my daydream and looking at him. He was leaned against the sink and wearing that damn smirk.
"You just seemed a little flustered, that's all. I wanted to make sure you're okay."
"Oh shut up."
I knew he was purposely trying to get a rise out of me and knew he would succeed if I didn't ignore him. I moved to the sink to wash my hands and when I was done, I moved towards the three bags full of food I had brought over.
"Will you tell me now what we're gonna make?"
"I have a recipe for coconut honey glazed chicken strips, sweet cream macaroni and cheese, that's actually leftovers from last night so it's already made, we just need to warm it up. And for vegetables, we're having zucchini and squash."
"That all sounds great. What about for dessert?"
I smiled and went to work on cleaning and cutting the chicken breast before gesturing him to start on the veggies. I glanced over at him with a goofy grin I knew he would make fun of. After the first night we ate rocky road ice cream, we both realized that we were dessert people. We each had a sweet tooth and didn't believe in not having a meal that didn't include some type of dessert at the end. I had admitted to sneaking dessert early on occasion and eating it well before the meal when I had no self-control.
"For dessert, we are making Peach Pie. From scratch."
"Peach Pie? Where on earth did you get peaches from around here? I can never find any that aren't bruised or browning."
"Huck found a farmers market a few towns over and picked up a peck of peaches for me. He knows they're my favorite."
"That's good to know. You never told me that before. I was under the impression that you didn't like fruit."
"Not entirely false. I like fruit, I just have to have the taste for most fruit or else it makes me nauseous."
"Except peaches?"
"Except peaches. If they grew year 'round, I would be the happiest person alive."
"But you can pick up peaches from the store anytime of the year…. I think."
"Yea, nasty ones. I prefer mine farm grown and picked if I can help it."
"Oh I get it, you're a fruit snob."
I felt something hit the back of my head and turned to see a piece of zucchini on the floor behind me. I picked it up just as quickly and chucked it back at him, laughing as it fell into the bowl of similar sized ones.
"I am not a fruit snob, just very picky about my peaches thank you very much."
"Sure you are."
"Oh and make sure you wash them all now. Who knows how long it's been since this floor's been cleaned."
"Are you calling my home dirty, Olivia?"
I shrugged innocently, suddenly feeling his broad chest pressed against my back.
"I'm just saying, if you're gonna call me a snob, I'm gonna call you a slob."
Before I could take another breath, his fingers were at my sides tickling me while his left arm was around my waist keeping me from running off.
"Fitz, let go!" I began, trying my best to speak between my laughter. "We need to get dinner in the oven. Please."
"Oh no, you're gonna pay for that comment, Livvie."
His fingers were torturous against my ribs and I felt myself turning in his arms before I burrowed my face into his shoulder and bit him.
"Ow! What the! Did you bite me?"
His look was shocked but also full of hilarity. I bit my lip before taking half a step back and feeling embarrassed.
"Shit. I'm sorry! I honestly didn't mean to…"
"Wait, did my Livvie just say shit? You cursed?"
"Fitz! Stop, you're embarrassing me! I'm sorry, I just…"
Fitz POV
She looked so scared and vulnerable standing in front of me with tears threatening to spill and her hands twisting her shirt back and forth.
"You're just what Livvie?" I was unsure if she was going to finish her sentence, so I moved closer to her, forgetting our playful banter and pulled her into me. I put one finger under her chin and lifted it until our eyes locked.
"You're what? What were you going to say?"
"I'm just being me."
The words she whispered never sounded so sweet. I already figured out that she was being herself and I loved it. I leaned forward and kissed her lips the way I knew she liked before staring at her.
"Good. That's all I ever want you to be. Especially when you're here with me."
She kissed me quickly before stepping out of my hold and moving back to work on the chicken. Getting back on task as well, I followed her lead and finished cutting up the food and rinsing them once again. I grabbed the seasoning she had set out and tossed some on before putting it on the stove and turning it on medium. Next I went to find a dish for the macaroni to go in and when I had everything ready, I put it inside the oven to warm up before going to watch Olivia work.
"Alright, I've been good and did my part, now answer me this."
"Yes Mr. Grant" She spoke coyly and I found that I liked it a lot. She was still focused on whisking the honey glaze for the chicken while speaking to me.
"Wait, do you need me to put the grease on?"
"You can put it on medium, please. I want to cook them up fresh, so once the mac is nearly warmed all the way through, I'll throw them in. They don't take long to fry up."
"Got it." I began to grab to pot out and poured the grease in before coming back to where she stood. "Now back to what I was saying. I could've sworn you told my daughter that you don't cook."
"I really don't cook."
"Well then what do you call this?" I asked gesturing to the dinner we were cooking. "This is all you, Liv."
"Every girl needs a few go-to meals." She said and shrugged, making me take her answer as the truth.
"So I don't cook, that's what I told CJ, but I do love to bake."
"Bake?"
"Yes, baking is very relaxing to me. I mean it can be tiring and very specific, but I find it relaxing."
"Mmmhmmm. Okay, so I take it you have been baking like a mad woman during the day?"
I watched as she left the ingredients for the chicken along after she coated the meat with the coconut and flour mix. She washed her hands and dried them off before turning to me.
"Actually no. I don't like to bake for just me. When I bake, it's gotta be with someone else in mind. Huck doesn't really have a sweet tooth at all, in fact, he mostly eats sandwiches so I haven't baked a thing in…. nearly six months? I'm probably super rusty."
"Well, I can't wait to make it with you. You sure as hell have the upper hand here, Livvie." I spoke closely into her ear, making her feel tingly before stepping away to let her finish up.
Liv POV
It was thirty-five minutes later when we were both pulling out the ingredients for the pie and setting the out on the island. Dinner had been great and I had stuffed myself with the chicken strips while Fitz had eaten an exuberant amount of macaroni. He claimed to like them just as much, but I could tell that I would be making a full batch of macaroni pretty soon. Once everything was out, I preheated the oven while he reached under a cabinet and pulled out a glass baking dish and I found myself wincing at the dish.
"What?" he asked noticing my face. "Not this one?"
"It can work but you don't by chance have a ceramic one do you?"
"Hmmmm I think I do. My mom left a pie here ages ago and she harasses me about it every time she forgets it." He got on his hands and knees and reached under the cabinet at the island before standing up with a mustard yellow pan that was perfect.
"That's perfect!"
"Alright first, the peaches, let's peel them all"
"Okay."
"Grab the peeler, I can work with a knife."
"Okay."
I placed the medium sized mixing bowl in between us and began peeling much faster than he was.
"So the filling is easy, what I want to talk about is the crust."
"Oh yea?"
"Yea," I spoke, moving to cut up the peach in medium sized chunks. "cut them about this size. Okay, so the crust, you gotta keep the ingredients cool. It's harder on a hot day, but lucky us, it's cold outside."
"Lucky us."
"On a summer day if you're making crust, you keep everything cool and never stop working. If the phone rings, you don't answer it, let them leave a message."
"It's that important?"
"It's THAT important."
When we had them all cut up, I rinsed my hands and grabbed the box of sugar before walking over to him.
"I've got some measuring cups.."
"Nope. Making this isn't about measuring, it's just about knowing how much of everything just feels right."
"You're kidding right?"
I laughed at his skeptical look and stopped the charade.
"Yea I am. But I don't need the measuring cups, I know how much by looking at it. Give me your hand."
I held his hand over mine and poured about a half of cup of sugar into his palm before doing the same thing to myself and nodded for him to pour it in the bowl.
"Alright, now this is where it gets a little messy. Let's mix it up."
I stood across from him and we both dug each of our hands into the bowl and mixed the sugar with the peaches. It was squishy and rough at the same time as the textures mixed but I mostly enjoyed the feeling of our fingers intertwining unexpectedly. Our eyes basically stayed on one another the entire time we mixed the fruit and sugar and I felt my cheeks warming under his strong gaze. Baking this pie was becoming too damn sensual. When we were done, we rinsed our hands and dried the messy island before I grabbed the large mixing bowl and instructed him on putting in two cups of flour, then I added the salt right after.
"Pie crust is a very forgiving thing."
"Forgiving?"
"Yes forgiving. You can make all types of mistakes, but don't forget the salt."
I grabbed the butter I had set out earlier and handed him the cut up chunks.
"Okay, do I put in all of it?" he asked eyeing the butter.
"Yep, before it gets too warm. Remember, keep everything cool. Grab a fork and knife."
He dumped the butter inside before reaching to grab the fork and knife that were next to him.
"Alright, take both ends and mix them up like you're slicing it."
"Like I'm slicing it? What does that even mean?"
I laughed at him knowing it would be better if I demonstrated it myself. I grabbed the knife and fork from him before showing him exactly what he needed to do. I concentrated on mixing it this way and hadn't noticed that he moved until I felt him standing directly behind me.
"I think I can learn better this way."
His lips were near my ear and his hands slid down my arms before his large palms were covering mine, following my hand movements. He felt great behind me and I closed my eyes allowing myself to sink back into his frame. I wanted to talk but knew I had to clear my throat first because it had gone dry. It felt amazing to be surrounded by him in this way.
"The reason I like baking so much…" I licked my lips trying to wet the insides of my mouth. "it's all about instincts." His fingers moved further into mine and we were no longer moving our hands back and forth.
"Instincts?" his voice was heavy, his lips now nearing my throat and I swallowed instinctively.
"Yea…. People pay too much attention to recipes and forget how to…."
"How to what Livvie?"
I turned my head at his words, staring at his lips that were hovering over mine and finally connected my eyes with his gorgeous orbs.
"How to feel."
His lips were on mine immediately and I opened my mouth, welcoming his tongue that entered my mouth like a magnet. Our hands stayed intertwined in the mixing bowl as our tongues found their own rhythm. I had never been kissed the way Fitz constantly kissed me and each time felt like the first time. His tongue worked as though it had known my mouth for its entire existence and I felt my own staking its claim to his. When the need for air became too much our tongues released one another and he left wet kisses on my mouth as I tried to regain my breath while speaking to him.
"We can't…. It… warm… it's gonna…"
"What?" he finally pulled away from my mouth and asked me with furrowed brows. He almost looked annoyed that I had stopped his plan of action and I let out a breathy laugh.
"It's gonna get too warm. We need to finish making the crust."
He threw his head back laughing before I felt him bring his head back down to nuzzle my neck playfully.
"Then let's get back to work Professor Pope."
That wasn't a name I particularly liked and although I thought he couldn't hear the words I had mumbled, he clearly wanted to know what was said.
"What was that?"
I blushed before I focused my attention back on the almost-dough in front of me.
"I said I prefer 'Livvie'.
When he didn't respond right away, I looked up at him over my shoulder and elbowed him after seeing the cocky smirk on his face.
"Play nice, Livvie. We've gotta get this pie in the oven before it's all ruined." He moved closer to my neck and placed a kiss on the left side before moving to the right side and placing a kiss there, alternating as he spoke to me. "I am going to need that dessert you promised me."
He was an A-plus student after that and once we added the little bit of water to the mixture, we used our hands to blend it all together.
"Make sure it's right on the edge of crumbling at any moment."
I then dusted the counter top and rolling pin with flour before we rolled it out together. Although it wasn't necessary, he stayed pressed against me the entire time.
"Now take the heel of your hand and press down like you're kneading it."
"Like this?" he asked and I couldn't help but admire the long vein traveling up his arm.
"That's perfect. People like to buy all these fancy gadgets to do things when all you really need is attached to your own body."
He busted out laughing and his boisterous laugh made me jump.
"What?!"
"Nothing, I hear what you said, I just took it in a very bad way."
"A bad way?"
"Well, a dirty way."
I replayed my words in my head before laughing and lightly elbowing him in the stomach for thinking that way.
"You're a mess."
"Alright now we need to flip it into the pan."
We placed the pan on top of the crust and flipped the wax paper over before smoothing it down into the pan. We scattered a little bit of tapioca onto the crust for a salty crust before dumping the peach filling inside. Lastly we used the remainder of the crust and rolled it out before placing it on top. I let him do the rolling and smiled as he worked in concentration.
"Is that all?"
"First let's make a few slits at the top, then we need to imprint around the crust…"
"With the fork right?"
I smiled impressed and nodded. "Yep, Why don't you do the honors while I clean this up."
He nodded and began finishing the crust. Once he was done, I picked up the kitchen timer and started it the second he placed the dish inside and closed it.
"I think that's gonna be the best dessert I've ever had."
"We'll see about that, Chef Boyardee."
Fitz POV
It had been the best damn thing I had ever tasted. The pie was sweet and fruity and the crust had the perfect amount of flake to it that melted in your mouth on contact. We shared a large piece of pie, both agreeing that ice cream should be included in their oversized bowl. She surprisingly ate more than I did and I had to laugh at her sudden appetite. She seemed to not care, and was quick to get a tiny extra piece just so they could get their fill. It was after we made sure the kitchen was spick and span that we retired to the couch and became fused at the mouth.
I felt myself getting dizzy from her kisses and was just preparing to lay her back against the couch when loud knocking was heard on my front door. The knocking soon turned to banging and the doorbell was pressed several times. Olivia was visibly spooked and sat up on the couch before moving to stand many feet away from me.
"FITZGERALD! Fitzgerald answer this door!"
What the!? There was no mistaken my mother's voice. I knew her voice anywhere and from the sounds of it, she was pissed.
"Fitz, who is that?"
Olivia didn't sound as terrified as she had looked just seconds ago and I knew it was because she felt relieved that the person on the other side of the door was for me and not someone looking for her.
"It's my mom. Something must have happened with CJ. Just wait here."
LIV POV
I moved away from him and started for the stairs as he began straightening out his shirt and fixing his disheveled hair that I'd managed to turn into a mess. I knew he didn't want CJ to know I was still around but I had no clue how tonight would play out. If his mother had driven all the way back tonight, the same day she'd gotten CJ from school, then something was wrong and his little girl would be home this weekend for sure.
"Fitz, open this door now! It's too many lights on for you to not be home!"
His mother's voice sounded angry and I was glad that if I had the pleasure of meeting her, it wouldn't be now.
"I need to get her."
I nodded and went up a few of the steps before he went to unlock the door. That's when the chaos began. It wasn't clear if CJ was crying but I knew she couldn't have been physically hurt because she would be at a hospital. His mother's voice was fuming and her tone was a no-nonsense one.
Fitz POV
My palms were sweating as I reached the door and I knew it was the fear of Olivia being found out more than anything. I knew that CJ was physically fine because if she wasn't, my mother wouldn't have bothered driving all this way. The fact that she'd showed up on my doorstep made me think that CJ was being a huge handful and although the sound of her tears were no indication, I could be in for a long night.
The second I opened the door, CJ launched herself into my arms, making me take a few steps back to stay balanced. My mother was right behind her, except it was her forceful finger coming at me as she pointed it in my face.
"I've been calling you Fitzgerald! Calling nonstop for an hour and you haven't answered, then the phone starts going straight to voicemail. You know the rules! If CJ is with me, your phone is on you twenty-four-seven! I can't have her needing you and you not being available."
She spoke the last few words menacingly, jabbing her finger into the shoulder that CJ's head wasn't resting on. She had burrowed her face into my neck and I vaguely felt her sniffling every few seconds.
"I'm sorry Mom, I don't know what happened to my phone, I must've left it around somewhere and it died. You know I wouldn't do that. What happened?"
"CJ, why don't you go upstairs and get some jammies on."
My mother's tone was instantly child-friendly as she brought a hand to CJ's back and rubbed gently. Even at her soft and comforting voice, CJ only squeezed my neck tighter and as much as I had been enjoying tonight with Olivia, I regretted sending my little girl away.
"It's okay mom, I got her."
I looked around and tried to think as fast as I could. On one hand I wanted my mother to leave as soon as possible because I didn't want her seeing Olivia. I could hide Olivia from my six year old who was now fighting her internal clock that told her to close her eyes, but hiding Olivia from my mother was out of the question. On the other hand, if I didn't at least offer to let my mother stay over, she'd be suspicious as hell but the last thing I wanted was to her to accept the invitation.
"I'm sorry you had to come all the way back up here Mom. Thanks for bringing her. I'll talk to her and we will probably wait a couple of weeks for the next visit. Thanks for taking her so much lately."
"You know it's no problem at all. I love my grandbaby, she just needs things to go back to normal. We've gone over this, kids can't just be jostled around when it's convenient for us. You're a great father, just set things straight before anymore sleepovers. I need to head out though so I can make it home at a decent hour."
Inwardly I was beaming. I didn't have to do any dirty work.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay the night?"
"I'd get too much of a late start and I've got a full morning. It's only an hour away and with the way your mama drives it's not quite that much."
She winked before opening her arms towards CJ.
"Can grandma get a squeeze before I leave?"
I knew CJ didn't want to, but pushed herself anyway and allowed my mother to hold her in her arms for a second before she slid down and ran off. I wanted to follow her so bad knowing that she could find Olivia at any moment but my mother had pulled me in for a bone-crushing hug that I couldn't pull out of until she loosened her grip.
"Bye my boy. I'll let you know when I make it home, okay? Call me tomorrow or text me or whatever to let me know how she's doing. She just had a moment and will be fine."
"Thanks Ma." I kissed her cheek before moving to the door and holding it open for her. I watched as she walked to her car and once she pulled down the street, I quickly closed the door and locked it before searching for CJ.
"Fitz!"
There was only one reason Olivia would be calling me, loudly from up the stairs.
Liv POV
I couldn't wait until I could meet Fitz's mother. She seemed so genuine and I could tell that she had such a strong bond with her son and granddaughter. I listened to her tell CJ goodbye before she began talking softly to Fitz again. I tried my best to listen but was distracted as I heard quick feet moving up the steps and down the hall just as fast. I thought I was smart hiding in Fitz room. When Fitz came up with CJ, he could clearly go to her bedroom first, but from what I could hear, he was speaking with his mother and allowing her to leave. It was when I heard the alarm signal that the door had been opened that the bedroom door was pushed open and the little girl looked up at me before jumping a half a step back. Her eyes were wide and it didn't take long for her to slowly start moving closer to me in the dark room. She looked bigger than the last time I had seen her nearly a month ago and I wondered if she remembered who I was.
"Livia"
Her voice was a mere whisper but I heard it loud and clear as she stepped right in front of me.
"Livia am I dreaming?"
There were tears in her eyes and I knew it was only a matter of seconds before they would begin escaping her eyes. I kneeled down to be eye level with her and wiped away the tears that had escaped each eye. That's when the dam broke. Tears began to pour from her eyes and her arms were wrapped around my neck before I was able to do anything. I fought against every natural instinct to hold her back but I didn't want to cause more harm than good. The second I heard the alarm chime again, I yelled out for him.
"Fitz!"
I stood up as hoping to break her hold, but she just wrapped her arms around my midsection and burrowed her face into my stomach. It was a few seconds later that I heard his loud footsteps outside of the room and then he was there staring at the two of us. I was speechless and all I could do was shake my head.
"I missed you, Livia."
I wasn't sure if Fitz heard it, but I did. He took another step closer and just stood there staring at me. It was as if he knew what my eyes were asking and I didn't need to say the words. When I saw him nod his head to me, I immediately got down on one knee and wrapped my arms around the little girl.
"I missed you too, CJ."
