Damn did I want a chocolate bar right now.

My Wammy's house obsession had indeed dwindled in the past years, but it was still there, especially when I became stressed. And I hadn't had a chocolate bar since I had snuck into BB's base. Which was a week ago, give or take.

My palms were sweating too, a feeling that I really just hated. Sticky and slippery under my gloves, of which Matt had lent me as he had apparently lost mine after I was knocked out. The dork. The dork that I wished I could have kissed goodbye before I left the hotel on L's command. But with the others around it just felt out of place and awkward. Not to mention the fact that I hadn't kissed him in two years, it should be special I supposed. However cliched the thought.

A quick glance towards my watch told me that I had six more minutes to go, and I huffed lightly.

That morning L had debriefed us all on the entirety of the plan, though I think he was leaving out little facts for whatever reason I still didn't understand. Nontheless I would walk through their back entrance in six- now five minutes, and the plan would be in place. Matt should be in there by now, too. I hoped he was okay.

Stan's base lie in between two old graffitied bridges in the industrial area of town, resting within a huge cement building that was built like a series of round towers with an office structure on top. It appeared abandoned on the outside, but on the inside it would apparently, and obviously, be reconstructed.

Rod's base was similar, so I knew how it worked quite well. I would be walking into the back entrance, which was simply a large brass door at the bottom of the structure. Inside there would be at least two guards that I would have to shoot.

But now I'm just distracting myself with facts I already know, aren't I?

I was worried about this, they could still just go ahead and shoot me in the blink of an eye. I still had no idea what exactly I was going to do. I kept procrastinating the thought up to this moment, and now I was regretting it. I really didn't want to be unprepared when I went in.

I would figure something out, for Matt's sake if not mine, right? This is for Matt, so that I can get him out of this and then we can go back to...no, I'm in this because of L and the fact that its a case. I could have taken Matt last night and we could have left then, forgetting about the case, but as always without even noticing I was following L's every whim.

The thought sickened me, I really was always in second. To L, to Near, to the LAPD, to the Mafia. So close but so damn far away.

Another glance at my watch revealed to me that I had one minute now, and I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. On one hand that meant I was closer to getting this over with, on another I was closer to possibly dying. Such a conundrum.

I licked my lips, which were significantly dry, and stepped out from my hiding place from the shadows of one of the bridges. I quickly, not letting myself hesitate, picked up a brisk pace and made my way towards the door that lie forty feet away. While approaching, I spotted the shimmer of what was clearly a camera, and did my best in giving it a cocky grin and wave. Even though I didn't feel like it, I knew I was an intimidating face, and grinning...I didn't grin often, and it usually meant trouble. People picked up on that.

A quick glance at the door told me that it wasn't locked, giving me the initiative to wrench it open, the hinges creaking in tandem at the movement. Three guns were drawn to my face the moment I was visible to the insiders, along with a shout asking what my business was here. I barely looked at the three faces, before pulling the gun out of the front of my pants with one hand, expertly shooting two of them in the head, while I pulled another out of my boot and shot the other.

The blood spatters were only glanced at in a disturbed fashion before I proceeded down the dim hall. It was empty in here, and considering that someone must have seen me on camera by the time I was two halls down, that worried me.

Nontheless I proceeded until I reached an elevator on the second floor, and I stepped in, pressing a button for the top floors as the doors closed. Infiltration done, now I just needed to get an audience with Stan, which hopefully I could pull off without getting into too much trouble, and catch Antonio's attention in the process(Which I knew my simply walking in here would do.). Maybe I could mention the scam.

A spider hanging out in the corner of the small space kept my attention as I processed the upsides of going with that, until the door finally opened with a light scraping noise. I peaked down both halls before I exited onto the light blue tiled flooring, and I couldn't help but think that the color made it look like an old hospital, followed by the cement walls and various white doors as my boots echoed in the emptiness.

It made me edgy, and I was really starting to wonder on it by the time I was five doors down, before the sixth door opened and a gun was drawn on me. The man holding it being blond, and what could only be described as butch. I drew my gun in return, my eyes landing on him quickly and I didn't pause my pace as I approached. He looked more nervous the closer I got, until I was standing a mere two feet in front of him and glaring icily.

"Where is Stan?" I growled, and he visibly flinched, his eyes flitting to my gun which wasn't aimed to him as a show of confidence.

"Think I'd tell you?" He spoke in response, trying and failing to hide the intimidation in his voice. I smirked, and noted slightly that he moved his body away from mine by just a few centimeters in the process.

"What's going on here?" A gruff voice spoke up from behind me, and I stayed glaring silently at blondie as I heard the safety of a gun clicked off, probably pointed at my back. This is what I needed, a commotion.

"I need to talk to Stan, simply." I replied, my composure luckily staying up as I earned a disbelieving snort from whomever was behind me.

"Cut the shit Mello, you're hiding under the radar for over a year and suddenly you walk into our base? What the hell. What do you really want?"

"What indeed." I mumbled, still giving my best glare to the man in front of me. He was probably a newbie, all brawn and no brain, and wasn't used to situations like this. Unlike the one behind me. Don't be mistaken here either, I'm sweating more then I normally would be in the situation, and its not fun. I usually wasn't so nervous at gunpoint, but I knew that my life depended on appearing confident.

A silence stretched out for awhile, before I heard a grunt from the man behind me. "Walk, we'll take you to the boss" He assented, and I wanted to let out a sigh of relief at that, but settled for a terse nod as I turned my head around slowly. I registered the average looking man, shaved head and all as he simply nodded in the direction that I was originally going, and I took the initiative to start walking with his gun pointed at my back.

As I took the first few steps I recalled L saying that I would be safe, simply because he 'suspected something'. I related that quickly to not seeing so many people in the halls, or being assaulted right away by anybody even though I had probably been seen on camera. But that brought a concern, what is it that L suspected? Was it something unrelated to me, or would they want information from me? Or maybe even to torture me for the fun of it?

I wished that thought was laughable, I'd seen Rod torture traitors for what just seemed to be fun before.

From here, I didn't know what would happen. L had simply said; get in, cause a distraction, and get out with Matt. Nothing else for instructions, which I was fine with but the only thing was that if something happened to catch me by surprise, which was very liable in the situation, I could mess up. Not to mention L's ever present failure to inform people, and myself, of absolutely everything.

Something that I liked to know.

Silence feel upon the two men and myself as our boots clinked on the floor, and as we went I quite gratefully noticed that they really were bringing me to Rod's lounge room. Instead of, say, a security room. I anticipated it when they stepped ahead of me to another door in the hall, and promptly swung it open, before gesturing me inside.

The moment I entered my senses were clouded with the strong, but not unfamiliar smell of cigarette's. Though it was ignored in favor of the image that was laid out in front of me. Namely Stan, sprawled out on a couch in the middle of the room in a similar fashion as I would normally be, smoking a cigar as his gaze caught mine. Mild question filled his expression, before concern, and before the all time expected suspicion.

"Mello." He simply stated, and a twinge of irritation, as well as unease spiked up in me.

I raised an eyebrow mockingly, "Stan." I replied, making a point of how much of an idiot he sounded when he had spoken. Though I doubted he realized even so, as he simply leaned forwards in he seat a little, a grin taking over his face.

"And I thought you were smart, that's what they always said. But look at this, you actually think we would give you a second chance? How stupid are you, really?" That insult to my intelligence made me mad, but I held the notion back in favor of stepping into the room and leaning against the adjacent couch, a 'tsk' sound coming from my lips as I worked on forming an act.

"Now, you think I would risk my life to come back and work for you? Of all things." I scoffed, my eyes burning into his. And to my satisfaction, he looked intimidated now. "No," I continued. "I have something to tell you, something to do with a certain person you happen to be harboring."

His eyebrows shot up at that, and I just smiled at him innocently. He took a second to think, before frowning at me. Just like the rest of him the frown was very similar to Rod's.

"And what would you get out of telling me this 'thing'?"

I had to congratulate myself on that. I had caught his attention, and there was no way I could possibly mess up with this. It was already a half truth that Antonio was scamming them, so there is no way anybody could poke holes in the act.

"It depends on what you will give me in return." I settled on saying next.

He took a puff of his cigarette before responding. "But...how can I know that what information on Antonio you have will be worth what I give you?" Well, he's stupid. Not only does he not know basic business apparently, but he also just revealed that Antonio is indeed here. Thats not even a rookies' mistake, its just an idiots.

Despite those thoughts I smiled at him slyly. His incompetence would only do better for me.

"Your risk I suppose, though I'm sure you would like to know how much the mafia is actually being scammed right this very moment."

He huffed, sitting up straight and stacking up the mess of papers on the table, ones that I hadn't really noticed. Maybe I should have, Something valuable could have been on those. Oh well.

"That's ridiculous. I, if not my men, would have noticed something like that." He said as he snuffed out his cigar on the edge of the table, his eyes not meeting mine as he continued. "But you know what isn't Mello? Me having someone come in here and shoot you in the head, or maybe even just knocking you out. You could share the same fate as your little friend, wouldn't that be fun?" His gaze latched on to mine there, mocking, and I visibly bristled. How dare he...why does he know that?

A cruel smirk took over his lips, and I finally registered my expression of distaste, correcting it almost immediately.

"Don't be stupid, even you know that that would be reckless." I realized my mistake not a second to late in the sentence, as his expression turned sour.

"What are you implying?"

With that, silence fell over us, and the two who had been standing in the doorway this entire exchange obtained fearful expressions. It was as I noticed that, and Stan's infuriated expression that something clicked in my mind and I tensed up. Just as Stan stood up with a shout of something unintelligible and grabbed the front of my leather vest, pressing me into the back of the leather couch.

"How dare you! You little shrimp, I could crack you in half in seconds and you insult me. I should feed you to the dogs, you worthless piece of shit!" His face was inches from mine, and as he yelled- or rather screamed at me, bits of spit stuck to my cheeks. Breath tinted with alcohol and cigarettes, the scene was too familiar, and I actually froze. I couldn't do anything but stare at him wide eyed. Memories rushing into me like a tide.

Even trying to will myself, I couldn't move to defend. My breath was coming out in unsteady puffs, and my legs felt weak. I noticed out of the corners of my vision that some others had gathered at the door, but I couldn't keep my attention there as my vision began to grow vaguely unfocused. I faintly registered Stan continuing to yell at me, but none of the words absorbed, it was like I was in my body but powerless of anything. Thought or movement. I wanted to sink into the floor, at the same time run away, and fight, but none of those could be acted out on.

I snapped to attention as I was pushed away from the couch, and I stumbled backwards in an effort to regain my balance, the effort was futile though as I tripped on nothing and fell hard. Stan shouted for the others to leave, before lowering himself to my level in a crouch and fisting my hair. All so swiftly that I couldn't really react.

My heart jumped as for some reason the clicking of the door closing entered my attention, and when my eyes landed there I just couldn't tear them away. It was closed, shut and probably locked, I was alone in this room with this man that was reminding me of...unable to move and probably at his mercy...

He tugged harshly on my hair, and I barely held back a cry of pain whilst my eyes found his, filled with unmeasurable anger. I vaguely registered that I stopped breathing at all then, but the notion was interrupted by...

Oh god. His mouth, on my lips. Tongue.

What the fuck!? Why wouldn't my body move? I should be fighting back, I should punch him, knock him out, grab my gun. But..oh god. His hands were roughly tugging at my vest, sliding it off and pulling the gun out of my pants, and I wasn't doing anything. My mind was screaming at me to do something, anything, but my body had shut down.

I just kept picturing that damned cross, and the smell of burning wax. The smoke of candles and the dust that always floated around in the monastery's confession booth...

Two sensations hit me at once then, and it was there that I realized three things. Stan's still angry and almost frantic murmurings, my back touching cold hardwood, and a hand shoved down my pants. It was the latter that made me let out something akin to a cry, and in a flash Stan was knocked away by at least two feet, and most importantly, off of me.

I almost let out a breath of relief as I started to stand, but it was short lived as immediately a hand grabbed my shoulder and shoved me back to the ground. My eyes met Stan's again as his breath washed over me even more when he pressed his mouth to mine again, and as I struggled vainly to get away I felt a large hand clasp onto my neck. Right on the jugular.

He bit my tongue, and I tasted metal, and I couldn't breath, and I could feel my throat constricting painfully, a simply frightening sensation as my chest tightened. A knee was between my thigh as I tried to struggle even more, whimpers making it past both sets of lips as he lay his entire weight on me.

I was weak, helpless. Like a child again. Not able to do anything but cry out and squirm. How did this happen? Why? Why did my defenses go down like that?

I knew the answer, triggers like that just don't go away easy. Fuck, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfck.

One of my knees made their way to his side, and I managed to jam it into his stomach about when I realized the hand that was creeping back to my pants, and in return I earned a sputtering cough in my face. I took the opportunity to loosen my arm from behind me and drive another fist into his face.

I wasn't weak dammit. I wasn't a kid anymore.

With his reaction to the second hit I was able to shift my weight, push him off of me, and stumble to my feet. My legs felt like jelly, but I managed a weak kick to his face(boy was I glad for steel toed boots) as he was about to stand and reach for me again. A satisfying crunch was heard as my boot connected with his nose, and the well muscled man let out a cry as the body part was clearly, gruesomely, broken.

I took the opportunity to back up against the wall and stare at him in shock. My own skin felt disgusting, my breaths were coming in fast, and all the while fear mixed with anger and terror as I stared at the pool of blood leaking from his hands.

The fact that I still had my gun in my boot completely eluded me.

He seemed to realize quickly that I was standing away from him though, and the blood streaming fro his nose was forgotten in favor of me. I remembered my other gun in that moment, but it was too late as just when I bent down and my fingers clasped around it, my wrist was wrapped in a strong grip and the gun forced away from me.

The next few things seemed to pass in slow motion. The gun was tossed ungracefully to the floor just like with my vest and the first gun. My head was clumsily slammed against the wall despite my struggles, making my vision swim and surely leaving a dent in the plaster. Then my body was crushed by his, forcing the air out of my lungs and receiving a fit of coughing.

-The sound of a zipper being undone made my stomach sink, and this time even though I was coherent, I was in just to bad of a position to do anything but squirm fiercely, and incoherently curse at him. My pants were pulled down to my thighs so harshly that it left a burn, and then I felt..something, pressed against my entrance. I didn't want to think about it.

I stilled, my blood was pumping in my ears so I didn't hear whatever it was that he whispered beside my cheek. I knew if I had heard it it would have made mew feel sick, sicker than I felt right now. This had gone so wrong.

What could have been an agonizing pain had just started to become apparent with a jerk of his hips, only to diminish when a sudden blaring noise erupted in the room. It shocked us both as I choked on my previously pained gasp and he dropped me.

Fuck was it loud.

But as the lights flickered out I rook the opportunity to tug up my pants and dart away from Stan. I almost tripped on my gun in my frantic search for it, and as my fingers clasped around the handle I felt a hand on the back of my neck. I used that touch as direction and swung around, pulling the trigger at the best aim I could manage.

A rather loud thump in the darkness signaled my success in that respect.

I stared for a moment in the direction that Stan was surely lying, dead in a pool of his own blood. I nearly wished I hadn't aimed for the head, I wanted him to bleed to death as revenge for the last few minutes. But I shook the thought, and quickly deciding that finding my vest would be a helpless endeavor in the pitch black, I reluctantly found my way and exited the room.

The hallway was dark too, but I had studied the layout enough to know where I was going. I took a deep breath and with a hand on the side of the wall I started up a brisk walk.

The fact that the alarm was going off meant that Antonio was now on the roof and arrested, and now Matt would meet me in front of the control room. That was...quick. Or had time just gone quicker-

I paused my pace as I realized I was actually shaking -Shaking for gods sakes, not because of the cold either- and I took a moment to try to calm my nerves. It was over, I wouldn't have to go through that again. That fucker was dead and now it was just Matt and I. Oh god Matt, I didn't want him to know about this. He would figure it out when He see's me shirtless like this but...

Wait.

L had suspected something about Stan. L must have known that Stan had..tendencies. Anger tendencies. My hands turned into fists at my sides as I grew angry. And I took another breath, this time to keep my fury down, as my panic had disappeared the second that that realization came over me.

I needed to get out of here with Matt now, but after this I will certainly never trust L again.

With that and a sound similar to a growl I began walking again, silently after a few seconds as to not alert anybody in the hall. I arrived in the hall of the control room soon, and when I spotted a light up ahead I knew it was Matt, and gladly I picked up my pace.

He had his phone flashlight on me, and once he was close enough to see me clearly, even in the shadow where his face was I could tell he was worried. Especially as he lay eyes on my shirtless body.

"What happened?" His words echoed in the empty hallway, with only the alarm heard faintly in the background over here, and it was not in anyway comforting. I shivered, this time because of the cold and the reminder of my vulnerability.

I stared at him straight in the eyes as I responded with; "Nothing." and crossed the next few feet towards Matt, before stopping. "Lets just go." I told him, and he gave me a dubious look, his eyes obviously tracing my scared side before wordlessly handing me the phone. I took it, giving him a questioning look.

I pieced it together as he set his tech bag on the floor and began to unzip his jacket.

"Matt I-"

"Shut up you ass, your cold." He said as he forcefully handed me his rather tacky vest, and took back his phone, before picking up his bag and turning away to walk down the hall. This, of course leaving me with little choice but to slip on the warm garment and follow behind.

It smelled like Matt, and the fact that it calmed both my anger and unease was put to the back of my mind. Instead I focused on following his footsteps towards the roof of the building, where L would be waiting with a helicopter.

Matt didn't say anything the entire walk, and soon we were at the top of a stairway, in front of a door. Matt stopped to type in a code, and the second that door popped open I could feel the wind, not to mention hear the noise, of L's helicopter. I never much liked helicopters.

I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the new lighting and the velocity of the moving metal wings. The sensations of both not feeling very good at all. But soon I processed three faces that I recognized as Near's SP standing outside of the machine. I followed Matt over to them, and as we approached they only gave us affirmative nod's, a smile from Halle and a gesture to the inside of the helicopter.

I didn't respond to the gestures and only stepped ahead of Matt to get inside. As I stepped in I caught sight of someone who could only be Antonio handcuffed, blindfolded and knocked out near the back, along with A, BB, and Misa. All of which who were sat along the walls, I raised an eyebrow as I quickly realized that they had no reason to be in here. And instead of questioning them, I went up to the front seats were L and Light sat, looking at us over their shoulders.

L opened his mouth in greeting, but I quickly cut him off, shouting over the noise of the helicopter.

"What the fuck L, you knew what was going to happen didn't you?"

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second, before he covered the expression.

"I apologize for the secrecy, but I knew Mello nor Matt would agree to the plan if they knew what would likely happen." My expression turned even more furious than before, and L continued, attempting to placate what could certainly turn into an argument, something that I as well knew we didn't need right now. "It was because of the secrecy that the plan went through, and I knew that Mello could take care of himself. I was confident in the plan as a whole, as well as Matt's timing skills."

I snorted, the sound going unheard, before turning away. He could eat shit, there was no way I was working with him after this. I was getting out of here with Matt, and then doing whatever I had to do to screw L over. The bastard.

Matt and the others gave me a concerned, as well as questioning look as I seated myself beside the now closed door with a grunt. I knew very well that I probably looked like hell now, as well as the fact that I was scowling fiercely. I was pissed.

L dared giving me a concerned look as well, that I returned with a glare, but he only blinked at me before turning his attention to the others and shouting over the sound once more.

"We are going to go to the LAPD building and there I will, under the guise of 'Ryuzaki', wrap the rest of this up." His expression went firm, "Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. I will hold up to my word." and with that, as well as a sneer at L from myself, he turned away, starting up the helicopter as the floor tilted just slightly in take off.

In curiosity I peaked out the window to look at the roof. Halle and the others weren't with us, so..did they just sneak back through the base? They weren't on the roof anymore, so I figured that must be it and turned back, only to meet Matt's gaze. I didn't like that look, it was worried and discerning all the same.

He was wondering why I spoke to L like so, and even though he had a good idea he was wondering what had happened in there. I might tell him later, even though I didn't feel like it in the slightest.

I stuck my boot out and kicked him in the shin from across the floor with a smirk, earning a drowned out chuckle from him as he immediately booted me back with a grin.

It was my way of saying I'll be okay for now and that it was nothing too serious. And he knew that.

I tilted my head back for the rest of the ride with my eyes closed, and focused on the sound of my breathing, as well as the small injuries that could be felt on my body. They were of no consequence, as everything would be fine now.


I could feel just faintly when we began to descend, and my eyes snapped open, everything a blur for a few seconds as I had been dozing off ever so slightly. But all remnants of sleep disappeared as I caught up with myself and the engine to the helicopter was turned off. L popped his door open, along with Light and they stepped out, whilst I stood up and gladly did the same as I hopped out of the vehicle. The silence was great after all that my ears had been through in the past half hour.

Matt followed behind and several policemen approached from a door on the other side of the roof, one going to L after second and speaking with him. I leaned back on the outside of the helicopter with Matt as they went inside, but no sooner than I did, did I stand up straight again when I heard a shout.

BB was shoved outside by a guard, handcuffed and clearly angry. I sent a patronizing look to L, and Matt shared one with me in that second, about to advance on the guard before I grabbed his sleeve.

"Mells-"

Instead of the usually helpless tone he carried when he did that, it was defiant. But I only pulled him back to me as Misa, A and Light were all handcuffed. Each one of them giving out a different reaction, but all the same piping curses at L. I watched in concern, my gaze passing L's impassive one as he talked with an officer.

But then I felt a tug on Matt, and the second I heard a click I clued in as Matt began to struggle against the guard immediately. My response came quick as well, as I shouted a "Hey! He's with us!" and shoved the officer away, my eyes glazed with irritation while I did so. But then a second guard came up and grabbed Matt again, whilst the other pushed me back.

"Please stay out of the way sir, we are-"

I punched him, square in the face and ignoring my already sore knuckles as from the side Matt was being forced away from me. In return the guard attempted to swing me over and restrain me. I knew the move well enough though and avoided it. I hit the guy again, just in time to look at L.

-And the bastard, he was just staring at me indifferently, with maybe a tinge of dismay. That made me even more angry.

"What the fuck L!?" I shouted, not noticing my mistake and about to walk over to him and show him just how I felt, when my head was slammed to the side of the helicopter, a resounding thunk echoing in my ears for the third time today as my arms were pulled tightly behind myself by two weights.

All the while I was shouting profanities at him.

"-You fucking piece of shit, I hope you die in a lake you emotionless bastard! What the fuck do you think you're doing? We had a fucking arrangement-"

My tyrant was cut off by a hit to my head, gentle from one of the officers but enough to quiet me for but a second, supplying time for L to speak up.

"Calm down Mello, everything is going according to the original plan."

I kicked some more, threw more profanities, more insults, more helpless protests, but it didn't do any good as I was pushed off in the direction that Matt and the others had by then disappeared.

Fucking L. Fucking- I was going to get away, and I was going to beat him to a bloody pulp when I did. I didn't care if I was placed in high security prison, I would find a way.

He couldn't do this...He couldn't take me away from Matt again...Just no...


Authors note: As per usual, I'm completely tired out after writing this. I'll edit it more later, but for now, review! Please? The button is just over there, and it takes barely a second...actually its more like a minute, but you get my point.

Thanks to 2JRC6 for proofreading, your suggestions are really helpful :) Thank you for helping me out with this.