Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction using characters and entities from the Wizarding World trademarked by J. K. Rowling. Original plots, dialogue, and characters are mine.

Summary:

James Sirius Potter thinks he has the upper hand on his little brother. Well, Albus is a Slytherin after all.

So MrBenzedrine89 posted some funny prompts, so I went for it. Enjoy!


Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me


"Hey Al," James calls to his younger brother.

"I'm in the kitchen," he responds while making himself a sandwich.

James walks in with a smug face and rolled up magazine. "So little brother...I found something…"

Albus's eyes look up from his sandwich and his mouth drops as his big brother opens the centerfold.

"Going, old school, eh, Al? Why would you want an old magazine when the internet is so much easier to find p—whoa."

"James, put that thing back where it came from, or so help me," Albus whips out his wand and starts chasing his brother.

"Temper, temper! Now I know why you would want the Playwizard May 2000 Issue. Damn, your best mate's mum was hot," James flicks his wand and ties Albus to a chair. "Sexy Slytherins, Gorgeous Gryffindors, Hot Hufflepuffs, and Ravishing Ravenclaws: Hogwarts babes all grown up."

"James. I'm going to kill you. Don't fuck that up. It's vintage…and it's not mine." Albus says with a tinge of guilt in his voice.

"Then who does it belong to?"

"Scorp's dad. I nicked it from his study."

"Cold, Al. Cold. Not only did you steal property, but you stole from a widower. Tisk Tisk. But god she was hot. Who else is in here? Holy shit, these are like all our friends' mums!" James exclaims. "I'll never be able to look them the same. Let's see who is in Gryffindor—"

James drops the magazine and goes beet red.

"That's what you get, arsehole. I told you to put it back," he laughs hysterically while still tied to the chair, "Scorp warned me, so I only looked at the Slytherins, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. So, how does it feel seeing your mum's muff? What about Aunt Hermione? Did you enjoy that one too?"

"Fuck off, Al." James releases Albus and storms off.

"Enjoy having mum in your wank bank!"


Footnotes: And Harry finds the porno mag after and goes to town

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xoxo SaintDionysus