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Yuuri had no idea how he kept getting himself into these kinds of situations.

Granted, with voluptuous female body draped over him, this situation was less compromising and more enjoyable than his normal troubles, but considering the fact that he was fairly sure he would die a painful death if he messed up, yeah, there was a problem here.

Now, with a hot girl in his arms, most guys would think that he had hit the jackpot (in fact, the guys around them did, and were hooting and hollering encouragements that were just making things worse in the long run), and he probably would too, if that hot girl wasn't a tipsy Lady Von Bielefeld, whose hands on his chest were getting uncomfortably warm.

It had started yesterday, when Yuuri and Wolfram had returned to Earth, and somehow, all his counterparts and Wolfram's counterparts had followed him there.


Earlier.

Yuuri's only thought in his admittedly scrambled brain was: At least Yuuri-chan had had the sense to keep her robe on, even if it was now completely soaked.

That was more than he could say about Lady Von Bielefeld, who didn't look the least bit worried about being modest. Granted, the only one staring was her fiance since Yuuri was determined to keep his eyes on the towel he was retrieving for her (she didn't seem disturbed now, but he couldn't guarantee his state of not-being-on-fire if she decided to develop some modicum of decency after all), his last counterpart was a presumably straight girl, and the other two males were the same person as the currently naked woman, and therefore weren't quite attracted to her so much as they were amused at Yuu's obvious drooling.

Then the door slid open and Yuuri's mother walked in.

"Why Yuuri," his mother blinked. "I didn't know you were into polygamy."


It had taken a lot of explaining and whining, but eventually Mrs Shibuya believed that Yuuri was not starting a harem. Or at least claimed to believe him. She was also thrilled by the fact that she now had a daughter, whom she had immediately made shopping plans with.

His father took it fine as well, merely muttering something about having to change his will, which his children had assured him would not be necessary.

Shouri hadn't come home yet, but Yuuri was sure that he would be staring at the female Wolfram in a catatonic manner for awhile before he started kicking up a fuss. And he didn't even want to think about Shouri's reaction to Yuuri-chan... The pervert.

"Oh, Yuuri?" his mother said. "Your friends called earlier and said something about a victory party tonight for winning last week's game."

"That was tonight?" Yuuri cried, scrambling for the phone.

Once he had called one of the guys, Daisuke, an old friend who was good with the bat, and reassured him that yes, he would be showing up for the party this time, he breathed a sigh of relief. He still had a shot at a normal life after all.

"And Shibuya?" piped up Daisuke's voice from the other line, a teasing lilt in it that the double black was immediately wary of. "Don't forget to bring your hot girlfriend."

"What?" he yelped.

"Don't you remember? Last month when Kentaro was being an ass about nailing that cougar and calling the rest of us loser dykes, you said that your girlfriend was way hotter than any cougar and you'd bring her at the next big event. Congrats by the way; we didn't know that you were even straight!"

"What was I smoking?" Yuuri exclaimed in horror. Wolfram was going to murder him.

"Well, not so much smoking as drinking, but you get my point."

That didn't make sense. He could remember the conversation taking place, but there had been no alcohol. Then it clicked. "You spiked my soda!" he accused.

"Well, yeah." his friend didn't sound nearly as concerned as he should be. "You've been a bit high-strung lately. The guys and I thought you deserved a break. Still, we had no idea you would come clean about this super hot girlfriend."

Yuuri slammed the phone down, glaring at it as though it was Daisuke's face.

"What was that about?"

The double black turned to look awkwardly at his fiance. "Nothing. Turns out I'm not going to the victory party, after all."

"Why not?"

"I sort of- -maybe- -told them that I had a girlfriend. And they're expecting me to bring her."

Wolfram was glaring daggers now, and Yuuri feared for his manhood. "I could come with you, if you weren't such a wimp."

"You're a guy."

Wolfram looked hurt, and Yuuri felt bad, but that guilt turned to fear when Wolfram decided that being angry was the best way to deal with being hurt."Th-that's not really the problem, it's just that I said I had a girlfriend and...uh..." The younger boy backtracked immediately but, to his surprise, the blond didn't try to hit him. Instead he just jerked his head in the direction of their counterparts.

"Fine," he spat. "Take her with you if you're so picky. At she can keep you from cheating on me, you letch."

Yuuri stared at his fiance, then at the towel-clad blonde bombshell. Who was currently in the middle of strangling his counterpart for something or the other.

Said towel-clad blonde spared him a glance and shrugged. "Sure, I'll go." then she went back to choking the life out of her affianced.

He had a bad feeling about this.


Present time.

A few rounds of Never have I Ever and they were drunk.

Yuuri was only slightly tipsy, being one of the most innocent people there. He was frankly shocked at the amount of, ah, exploits his friends got up to.

He turned to his left and grimaced. Well, he knew he shouldn't be surprised at that, but he did wonder just what the heck Lady Wolfram Von Bielefeld had done in all her eighty five years of life to have necessitated nearly two dozen shots of gin.

They were now moving onto Spin the Bottle, and he knew that he was either very lucky or very dead when the bottle pointed at his faux date.

Knowing his fiancee as well as he did, and well aware that this was a PMSing version of said fiancee, Yuuri knew that he would have to play this very carefully if he didn't want to be turned into a Yuuri-kebab.

Then he couldn't even do that because the busty blonde immediately planted one on him.

His brain short-circuited; mostly in pure terror, and partly...well.

She was very skilled with her tongue. That was all he had to say on the matter.

But there was a niggling feeling that this didn't feel quite right that was bothering him. (As well as the fact that she might actually kill him if she remembered this in the morning and felt violated.)

Oh, he was a warm-blooded teenage male alright. The fact that someone very attractive was shoving her tongue down his throat and playing with his collar did cause certain things to rise. (Which he tried to hide, there was no telling how a female Wolfram would react to that once she figured out that he wasn't her Yuuri.) But in the back of his mind, he pictured someone with longer legs, broader shoulders, and a flatter chest.

Had he been in the right mind, he would have realized that he was picturing a very much male Wolfram while groping an undoubtedly female Wolfram's ass. But he was drunk, introspection could come later.

Then Lady Von Bielefeld pulled back, looking confused and a bit upset. Yuuri braced himself for injury. But luckily that was when the girl decided to pass out.

Now Yuuri just needed to figure out how to get them back without his Wolfram finding out that he really had cheated on him this time.

Crap. I am so dead.


Bad, bad Yuuri. Wolfram will not be a happy camper.

Don't worry though, this isn't going to be Lady vB x Yuuri. In fact, as Yuuri has been thinking of but doing nothing about, she won't be happy about this either.

Ah, before you send the hate mail for making Yuuri get a hard on for someone who isn't Wolfram (well, not really), please remember that high school is pretty much the height of infidelity and raging hormones.

RnR please! Flames will be used to roast weenies!