Monday morning finds the team in the park following an early call from dispatch. Even with Kate's recent propensity to arrive early at the precinct, she nevertheless finds it a shock to the system to arrive at her first body drop for weeks. Thankfully, the summer months bring an early sunrise and as such it almost doesn't feel like half six in the morning. The natural light filtering through the trees is sufficient to illuminate the scene before them. The sunlight glints off the police tape strung between trees, shines off the metal buttons and badges of the officers' uniforms, and glistens across the dew covered grass. But the overall area is far from beautiful. Kate takes in the body of a female lying on her back upon the gravel path. Doctor Parish is hunched over, making precise notes on her clipboard.

"What have you got for me, Lanie?"

If the ME is surprised to see her friend back on active duty, she doesn't show it. Instead she proceeds to outline all that she knows, "Black female, late forties I'd say. Preliminary COD is blunt force trauma to the head, possibly just from the fall." She indicates the dried blood pooled around the victim's head. Small streams of the liquid have crept further between stones to create what under other circumstances would be considered an artistic pattern.

From her crouched position, Kate assesses the body, noting that there appears to be no bag, purse, nor anywhere in the woman's clothing to store personal affects. "So anything suspicious so far?"

"You bet." Lanie points to the upper arms, bared by the short capped sleeves of the smart blouse. "See these bruising patterns? She was grabbed with some strength. She also has some fibres and blood beneath her fingernails. Hopefully she can help solve her own murder."

"And TOD?"

"I'd say between eight and ten last night."

Kate thanks her friend and stands, flexing her leg muscles to dispel to slight numbing sensation crouching down has caused. "Espo, any idea on ID?"

"No purse or phone," he confirms her earlier suspicions, but holds up an evidence bag. "But we have a pass for The Cisco and Exum Group. No idea what they do, but unis are contacting them to see if someone can ID our vic."

Ryan steps forward then, informing them that the body was discovered this morning by a now very shaken jogger. He also states that there are no cameras pointing at the scene. Kate gives him the task of instructing the tech department at the precinct to run through cameras elsewhere in the park. The aim is to determine the victim's last moments, and if they're in luck, catch a glimpse of their killer if she was followed.

She spends the next half an hour making her own notes on the scene, including the information Lanie and the boys and have provided her with, and the overall layout of body with relation to the surrounding landscape. Just as Kate is about to leave the scene and return to her car, Lanie pulls her aside with a concerned expression. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, sweetie. But you sure you're okay to be back working cases?"

And Kate is so tempted to tell her she's fine. But just like with Captain Gates, she doesn't want to imply, even for a second that the loss of Castle is an inconsequential event in her life. Instead, she decides keeping her emotions completely out of the conversation is better. "Gates restricted me to desk duty for a week. The week is over and I'm fully capable of returning to active duty."

"Uh huh," her friend sounds far from convinced, and her expression is just as sceptical as her tone. "And your psychiatrist? You're seeing him, I hope."

Kate takes a moment to weigh up her options.

She lies.


Since their return to the precinct, Ryan has spent his time going over finances and security footage in an attempt to place Joseph Sisneros' whereabouts on May 12th. Kate had originally wanted to carry out the task, but given that Gates appears to be keeping a close eye on her, it was decided it would be safer for Ryan to carry out the checks while Kate concentrates on today's homicide. Although, thankfully, Gates' attention appears to stem from a general concern over Kate, rather than any knowledge of what transpired two days previously in Sisneros' apartment.

"It's not him." Ryan pushes back in his chair and rubs a hand over his despondent features. "Sisneros isn't our guy."

"What?" Beckett shoots up. "It has to be him. The things he was say… He was taunting us."

"He was just having fun I reckon," Ryan replies. "Attempting a sick form of payback for his brother."

"But he knew what we were there to ask him about."

"But it's been all over the news Beckett. And he recognised you. And given your connection to his brother, it's not a difficult leap to make."

"So how do you know he's not our guy?" Espo asks.

"His financials show he made a cash withdrawal from an ATM on East 167th Street, right at the time of the accident. I checked security cam footage; it's definitely him Beckett. He can't have been in the Hamptons."

"Damn it!" She runs a frustrated hand through her hair and huffs out a breath. "He could have hired someone."

"Beckett, his finances show he's barely making enough to feed himself. It's not him."

"So we're back to square one."

Esposito's phone rings then and he turns to answer it. Ryan too is prevented by uttering empty platitudes to Kate by the appearance of Gates. "Any updates for me?"

"Nothing concrete, Sir," Ryan replies.

Ending his brief phone call, Esposito speaks up. "Actually, yes. Unis spoke to the manager of The Cisco and Exum Group. Our vic has been identified as Doctor Joy Kirwan. Next of kin are on their way in now."

"Okay, I want you to wait and speak to them first. Then I want the three of you to head out to speak to the doctor's co-workers."


It was hard. So damned hard.

At least with her mother, there was a period of a few years between her death and the time in her career when it became her duty to inform family of the death of a loved one. Though the ache was still present, the sheer rawness of losing her mother had blunted somewhat.

Now however, three weeks after losing her fiancé, the pain still hits her brutally and frequently, the loss is a massive gaping wound which hasn't even begun to heal. And the devastation she saw written all over Joy Kirwan's husband's face was a reflection of her own hurt. And she just wanted to sob along with the man's cries.

And then there was the twenty year old daughter, barely an adult. And yet she had just lost her mother. And it takes Kate all the way back to when she received her own news; the first tragedy which devastated her. The young woman literally crumpled when the words left Kate's mouth. The life changing words. The words, that once they are uttered, cannot be taken back.

How she kept it together, she doesn't know.

But shit, she just wants Castle.


She took a few minutes alone in the precinct's bathroom to compose herself after Doctor Kirwan's family left. She screwed her eyes shut, clenched her fists, attempted to block out the tear stained face of the daughter and the slack features and slumped shoulders of the husband. But with no pleasant images of her own to replace them, the pictures were hard to push down.

Eventually she forced the hurt down and away, closed herself off and erected her Detective Beckett mask. Looking at her, no one would know the grief she is hiding. It is reminiscent of the years before Castle, when she had walls constructed around her heart. Except this time the second tragedy has forced those walls to be thicker. And as the days go by, brick by brick, the barrier around Kate is climbing higher. Eventually, Kate will be locked away and only Beckett will remain. There are moments when she realises this. And she doesn't especially care to stop the process.

Now, fully composed, she is sitting with the boys in a meeting room of The Cisco and Exum Group. Located in Eastchester, the company develops and produces chemicals for a wide range of purposes: pharmaceuticals; cleaning products; chemical agents for school and university laboratories; compounds used within large manufacturing plants. Joy Kirwan herself was a research chemist. The detectives are currently discussing the victim's life with her line manager; Doctor Garnet Schrader.

"Do you have any idea what Doctor Kirwan was doing in the park last night?" Kate begins after pleasantries have been exchanged and condolences expressed.

The immaculately dressed woman before them nods, shifting her glasses up her nose as she speaks. "She would leave the tube a couple of stops early every day, and make it a point to walk the rest of the way through the park. She liked the clarity is gave her after a long day at work."

Kate frowns, "But yesterday was Sunday. Did she often work over the weekends?"

"She has- She had a presentation tomorrow about a new drug which played the main role in developing. She wanted to ensure the presentation was perfect; she was very dedicated."

"Can you think of anyone who may have wanted to harm her?"

When she shakes her head, Ryan prompts, "Any work disputes?"

"Oh no! In fact, I'm moving to Colorado next month. Joy was just promoted to take my position."

"And there was no one who was angry that she succeeded above them?"

"No, no. At her grade, Joy was by far the most experienced. Everyone was happy to see her promoted; she already gave a great deal of assistance to the junior staff members. Managing them would have only increased her ability to help them."

"And what do you know about her personal life?"

"Her and her husband were very happy together, and she had a good relationship with her daughter. Such a lovely family; it's awful what they're going through," she pauses to clear her throat; the emotional impact of her colleagues death is clearly only now registering. "She had a small group of friends she socialised with occasionally: couple of old school friends; neighbours; friends from the maternity classes she went to before she had Alyss. But no one would want to hurt her; she was just so nice."

The questioning ends naturally at that point and they proceed to speak to a number of Joy's colleagues. The picture of the victim is shaping up to be one who was much liked and respected at work, had good personal relationships, and wasn't one to cause strife with others. This information, coupled with the lack of valuables at the crime scene, indicates a mugging gone wrong. But with no news yet from the canvassing officers or results from the security footage, the detectives have to continue building a picture of the victim.


Kate rubs her eyes, realising too late that she's smudged the makeup she'd applied over twelve hours ago. With the lead of Castle's case extinguished, and a fresh homicide to investigate, it's turning into a late night at the precinct. Yet another late night. Late nights which have combined to create the exhaustion now hitting her at full force. She almost reaches for a coffee, only to remember her customary blue cup contains only water. She no longer drinks coffee.

The last coffee she drank was one prepared by Castle on the early morning of their wedding day. They had arrived at the Hamptons late the night before and so he was up early the next morning to fetch their marriage licence. He awoke her with a gentle kiss and a cup of steaming cappuccino, complete with a heart carefully crafted in the foam. She curled up against his side and they drank their beverages together, both silent and marvelling that in a short time they would be married. Eventually, reluctantly, they disentangled. He bestowed upon her another, more lingering kiss, and then departed. And that was the last time she saw him.

She did try. A few days after returning to the precinct, she'd prepared a latte from the machine he'd bestowed upon the homicide floor shortly after his arrival. But raising the cup to her mouth, the smell enveloped her, almost choking her with the memories it invoked. Coffee was not only a part of their last moments together, it was also such an intrinsic part of their entire relationship. Drinking coffee now, alone, would reduce the significance of all those moments and memories.


A/N: Thank you to everyone reading this, and thank you so much for the reviews.

Apologies that it is so case-centric at the moment - it is necessary for the progression of the fic. Hope you'll stick with me as it does pick up - I have it all planned out and know exactly where I'm going, it's just a case of laying down the pieces. Also, there are only so many ways I can write 'Kate is sad'... :-)