1jesus: Thank you and I hope you had a wonderful New Years.
foxchick1: Oh yes, she does. Many of them.
MAJORMATT1234: Thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Chance Green G King: Veronica is going to be playing a major role as the mystery progresses. More and more about her will be revealed. As for the Deep End, I'll think about it. As I found it a boring episode.
Vespasian25: Thanks, and I will.
LoamyCoffee: I can't wait for things to get really intense too.
Darkmaster10000000: Alchemist from the Wild West? I LIKE IT!
Gamelover41592: She's not really a bad guy, but more of a person who does bad things for the greater good.
trickster3696: It's not going to be Robbie against Dipper, as there's no reason for Dipper to get into a fight with him. It'll be with Patrick, and trust me, it'll be very different from the show.
crawforddarius7: Dude, I get it. You want me to do this request, but I'm not going to do it if it's constantly pushed onto me. I like SOME of the ideas, but you've got to know that I'll not going to do it if I can't get a chance to really think about how I'm going to do it, and if I want to do it. Besides, I may play the Witcher 3, but I'm still not that deep in the game to know everything about the lore. I know what Witchers are, but you can't really expect me to instantly start a new story, when I've still got SEVEN other stories to work on. I'm sorry if I sound angry, but this was something I've tried to hold in and not let my emotion get the better of me.
Thank you for the request and suggestion. I'll think about them, but please let me really think about it. Please actually review the stories I'm working on so that I can continue and finish them, and the then if I really want to write a Witcher / RWBY crossover then I will. If not, then I won't.
gods-own: Thanks.
coldblue2015: Thanks for the review, and I get it. I was just a little worried.
RedHood001: Yeah, the saber was more of a one-off thing. And Veronica is Stanly and Stanford's cousin. And I'll look into the comics.
Guest (Spartan 108): I've been trying to figure that story out from a while. Heck, I've even considered Ghost in the Shell crossover with Rainbow Six.
Guest (JJ): Sorry, but that is a no. I'm actually going to be crossing over HOTD with something else.
Guest (William): What? No! We're not going there.
Guest (Guest 2): That's a no.
Guest (Bobby Jenkins): Dude, I'll think about it. No promises!
blazingpheonix123: Thank you!
NullSilver2005: Thank you and here's more.
Guest (Ill): Thanks.
Reptil: Thank you, and I'm pretty much done with Trembly.
Another day at Gravity Falls meant another day for Stan to scam the people of the town and any tourist that came by. This time, he was having a carnival/fair being constructed at the moment. While it was being constructed, people were working around the clock to get the thing up and running.
But it wasn't high-quality that's for sure.
Stan was standing beside Mabel and Dipper as he explained and hyped up the fair. "There she is, you two; the cheapest fair money can rent. I spared every expense," he said.
Suddenly there was a snapping sound that came from over their heads. This was followed by Patrick screaming from the same direction. About a second later, Patrick came crashing down onto the ground in a tram car, which broke it even further. While Dipper and Mabel were startled, Stan simply turned his head with a second delay. "I think the sky tram is broken," Patrick said with wide eyes. "Take me to the hospital."
But instead of taking it seriously, Stan chuckled. "Ha ha, this guy," he said, pointing at Patrick, as the young man crawled out of the car on his stomach. "Alright, alright. I've got a job for you three." Stan then pulled out a bunch of papers with the letter A+ and a gold and blue ribbon on them. "I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit."
The old man handed the papers to Dipper, who passed some to Mabel and Patrick. "Grunkle Stan, I don't think that this is legal," said Dipper.
"Well, there's no cops around. That makes anything's legal! Soos, how's that dunk tank coming along?" Stan demanded after turning towards the handyman and started walking towards him.
Soos was using a blowtorch on the handle of a dunk tank when he heard Stan. This was going to the Dunkle the Grunkle. He said and lifted up his face mask. "Almost ready to go, Mr. Pines."
Deciding to test that claim, Stan knocked on the target that was attached to the lever. Just as he asked of Soos, it was rigged so that when it was hit by a ball, the seat would barely move. "Ha, you've got it rigged from here to Timbuktu!" Stan praised Soos. "There's nothing on Earth that could knock me down!"
"Yeah, except for like a futuristic laser arm cannon," Soos stated.
Stan groaned in annoyance. "Ah. Hey, you haven't seen my red screwdriver, have ya," he asked while feeling around his body. Stan then got down and opened the toolbox and started digging around in it. "Darn thing went missing."
"Maybe some magical creature or paranormal thing-um took it."
"Oi! You've been spending too much time with those kids." Stan rolled his eyes, before he kept on digging through toolbox. Mumbling to himself while Soos got back to work on the dunk tank. "Alright, let's see where'd I put that thing."
However, the screwdriver was actually taken by someone that was behind some of the portable toilets. The person was a heavyset, light-skinned, bald man wearing a gray and cream goggles and a light gray jacket, with simple white boots.
The bald man took out the screwdriver and began talking into his watch, which was also a communicator. "The mission is proceeding as planned. Over," he said, before using the tool on the watch. This caused the suit to suddenly change. Going to scenes of different locals, before stopping when it became transparent.
The bald man glanced back at Stan and to make sure no one saw him, before walking off. With only his head visible.
{Play Stranger Things theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}
[0:00-0:03]
At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness.
[0:03-0:08]
Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion.
[0:08-0:11]
Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance.
[0:11-0:14]
Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows.
[0:14-0:16]
One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling.
[0:16-0:19]
Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber.
[0:19-0:25]
The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile.
[0:25-0:40]
The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again.
[0:40-45]
Then the title of the story appeared in a flash of light.
WEIRDER THINGS
[0:45-end]
It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared.
Chapter Nine
The Time Pig Paradox
"It's 12 o'clock!" Stan shouted into the megaphone. "The Dunk Tank is now open!" The tourist covered their ears when the megaphone screeches. The fair was finally open, and everyone in town was at the 'Mystery Fair.' It had it all from classic games like ball toss and balloon burst, to rides such as the ferris wheel and a tunnel of love.
Stan was sitting inside of the dunk tank, ready for his scam of amusement. "Step right up, and dunk me folks!" he said to tourist, before pointing to a bald tourist eating a pretzel. "I'm talking to you, Cut-offs! That's right! Muffin-Top, High-Pants! Who wants a piece of me?" As he continued insulting all the people, they started to gather in front of the dunk tank. Angry and wanting a piece Stan.
They all threw their baseball balls at the dunk tank. Most were aimed directly at Stan, but they all bounced off the safety glass. Some went for the target. But in the end, all efforts to knock down Stan failed.
"Ahahahaha! Come back anytime, folks! Ahahahaha!"
While that was going on, Patrick was having his own fun with his redhead crush, Wendy. The two of them were buying some corn dog shaped like a question mark, before turning to each other.
"How do they even do this," he asked Wendy about the corn dog. Goofing around with her by holding up the dog over his head to make it look like he was having a question mark over his head. "It's unnatural."
"But Patrick, they're so..." Wendy played along and held up her corn dog to the end of the sign that said "DELICIOUS" "…delicious?" She asked with a shrug. The two friends laughed with each other. However, Wendy stopped laughing when mustard dripped onto her sleeve. "Aw, boo! I'll be right back," she told Patrick before turning and leaving.
"Yeah, sure! I'll be right here! Haha!" Patrick chuckled before a moment, before he sighed happily and whispered, "What a woman."
"Look at you two!" said Mabel, as she and Dipper walked over to him with cotton candy sticks. "Getting all romantic at the fair!"
Patrick tried to play it cool and leaned against the corn dog truck. "Eh, it's no big deal."
"Liar," Dipper said with a smirk.
"Okay, you're right, it is!" Patrick finally admitted with a big smile. "Isn't this amazing? I just dove in! I said, 'Hey! You wanna hang out at the fair?' And you know what she said?"
A few moments ago, as they were in the shop. Patrick had asked Wendy if she wanted to hang out at the fair. It wouldn't be like a date. Just two friends having fun. "Yeah, I guess so," she said.
"'Yeah, I guess so!'" Patrick repeated what she said. "It totally worked! All your advice about just going for it, it's finally paying off, Mabel!"
"When are you gonna learn, Patrick?" Mabel shook her head as she bragged. "I'm always right about everything!"
Dipper gave her a look. "No, you're not," he commented before looking back up at Patrick. "So, are going to finally ask her out?"
After a pause, Patrick blushed and scratched the back of his head. He was really hoping that this fair would provide the moment he was looking forward to asking Wendy out. "Well, I…" Patrick stopped when something foul smelling hit his nose. "Oh God! Who poured a gallon of body spray on themselves?"
That answer came in the form of none other than Robbie approaching them. "Hey, have either of you dorks seen Wendy around," he inquired with his hands in his pockets, looking around for the redhead.
When Dipper saw the teenager, he took a step forward to be at his cousin's side. "Who wants to know," he demanded with a glare.
Robbie paid no attention to him and took some of Mabel's cotton candy. "Hey!" She snapped, hold her treat away from the emo.
"Yeah, I got some new super tight jeans," Robbie said, not caring about how much of a jerk he was being and ate the piece he grabbed. He then showed off his jean before placing a foot on a box that was randomly there. "Thought she might want to check 'em out." He started to thrust out his pelvis.
Patrick made a disgusted face at the jean, and covered Mabel's eyes. Robbie was desperate, and Mabel was too young to see just how tight the pants were. "Robbie, no one in their right mind would ever want to see that," he told him with a scowl. He then smirked in defiance. "But if you really must know, she's in the Bottomless Pit. Why don't you do yourself a favor, and go jump in there."
Robbie glared at him with narrowed eyes. "Maybe I will, smart guy," he proclaimed, before bumping into Patrick's should on his way away.
"He is such a jerk," Mabel said, after Patrick uncovered her eyes to rub his shoulder.
"Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar," Patrick said. "If I'm going to ask out Wendy, I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs.
"Well, never fear, cousin. For we'll be there for you," Dipper said, standing alongside Mabel. "Whatever happens, we'll be right here, supporting you every step of the—"
"OH MY GOSH, A PIG!" Mabel suddenly shouted, pointed, startling Dipper and Patrick. They looked at what she was pointing at and saw it was a sign that said "Win a Pig". And so, Mabel took off. Running frantically and bumps several people on her way to where the sign was pointing to.
Dipper sighed in annoyance. There goes their plan to help Patrick. "I better go after her," he told Patrick and ran after Mabel.
As for Mabel, she ran at full speed towards the Win a Pig, with the man there yelling, "If'n you can guess the critter's weight, you can take the critter home!"
Mabel reached the wooden railing and around at the pigs. Most of them were large and dirty with mud. But then, she laid her eyes on one, special looking pig. It was sitting on its butt looking at her.
Mabel stared at it with wide, wondrous eyes. The pig oinked that her, which to her sounded like it was saying her name. This made Mabel gasp. "He said 'Mabel'!" she exclaimed, pointing at the pig. "Either that or 'doorbell.' Did you say 'Mabel' or 'doorbell'?"
The pig oinked 'Mabel' again.
"Ooooooooooohhhhh!"
Mabel's happy moment however was ruined by the voice of a certain blonde. "Step aside Mabel," said Pacifica, as she stood beside her friends and pushed Mabel aside. "I was here first, and that pig is mine."
Hearing that, Mabel glared at her and whispered spitefully. "Pacifica!"
"Aw~. What's the matter," Pacifica said mockingly with her hands on her cheeks. "Is it your real twin?" That her goons to laugh with her.
Dipper stood behind her and got her to turn around when he glared and said, "I'm standing right here, you know."
"Oops. My mistake. But then again, the pig when have made a better brother." Pacifica's mocking created laughing again.
Dipper glared at her and clenched his fist tightly. Mad and wanting to take her down a peg, Dipper looked around to see if there was any game that he could beat Pacifica in. He had no arm muscle, so anything with throwing was out. But then his eyes caught something.
A simple and yet seemingly damaged and worn out mechanical bull. He grinned at the sight of it and turned to smirk smugly at Pacifica. "Well, if you're so certain that I'm not good enough to be Mabel's brother, then why don't you put your money where your mouth is!"
Pacifica stopped laughing turned her head to stare at Dipper with narrowed eyes. "And what does that mean?"
"A little competition. Whoever lasts the longest on that bull ride wins," he said, pointing to the ride. Dipper then pointed to himself. "If I win, you have to leave."
Pacifica scowled at him for a moment, before smirk. "And I win, you're licking the mud off my boots."
"Deal!" They shook hands and the two matched over to the bull ride, with Pacifica's goons following close behind.
With Pacifica out of the way, Mabel turned to Sprott and pointed to the pig she wanted. "Sir, I must have that pig!" She demanded.
Sprott looked at the pig and smiled. "Ah, old 15-Poundy! So, how much you guessin' he weighs," he asked, points his cane at her.
Mabel looked away for a moment, wondering if he even knew that he gave away the answer. "Um, 15 pounds?"
Apparently not, as Sprott looked at her with wide, frightened eyes. "Are you some kind of witch? Well, here's your pig," he said, picking up 15-Poundy and handing him to Mabel. The pig oinked, and Mabel felt happier than she's ever felt, with a crowd of people around her clapping for her. Then the mood was ruined when Sprott attempted to get Mabel a fork and knife. "And you'll be needin' these."
Mabel glared at him.
"Nope? Well, suit yourself!"
Turning back to her new pig, Mabel hugged 15-Poundy as tight as she could. She then placed in down, and had an expression of realization. "Everything is different now."
Over with Dipper, Pacifica had him go first after saying that she'll give him the chance to feel like he could win. Dipper's anger increased, by wasn't going to let Pacifica get to him, while being determined to beat her. So, he climbed onto the bull. "Okay, I'm ready," he told the operator.
The operator nodded and pulled the lever to start the ride. But nothing happened. Confused, he pushed the lever forward and then pulled it back again. And he did this repeatedly. Suddenly the bull pulled back, nearly Dipper off it. It the yanked itself forward, and Dipper was sent flying forward. He screamed as he rocketed right towards Pacifica, who was just as shocked to see him coming right at her.
With a thud, Dipper crashed Pacifica and knocked her to the ground. A crowd gathered around but gasped at what they saw.
Dipper was on top of Pacifica, and their lips were locked!
A long pause was shared between the two, as they stared into each other's eyes. Dipper pulled away and slowly got off. Pacifica sat up, and the two faced each other again. Dipper then had an expression of panic and dread. "That was an accident."
Pacifica's face changed to an expression of total fury, as she bared her teeth and growled menacingly.
"Every is different now," Dipper squealed with fear. Pacifica grabbed him by the collar.
Away from Dipper's screams of pain, Patrick and Wendy were walking in the opposite direction of the sound. After both of his cousins ditched him for their own things, the boonie hat wearer met back up with the redhead, and the two continued their adventures around the fair. He smiled and took a few glances at Wendy, before they both stopped when she pointed at something. "Whoa, check it out!"
She was pointing to the ball tossing game, and the prizes that it had; some mix of a duck or a platypus and a panda.
"I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!" She said as they approached the game. Patrick couldn't help but grin. This was prefect. He had himself a good throwing arm, so all he'll need to do is win her the plush toy, and that'll give him the moment to ask her on a date. It was genius!
What could go wrong, he asked himself. Patrick turned to Wendy and said, "You want to know a secret to win these games. You aim for the carnie's head, and take the prize when he's unconscious."
"Ha ha ha! Nice!" Wendy chuckle, giving him a playful punch in the arm.
Patrick reached into his pocket and pulled out a ticket. "One ball, please," he said, handing the carnie the ticket.
"You only get one chance," the carnie told him and handed him the ball.
Patrick turned his head to Wendy. Wendy grinned and gave him a thumbs up. Patrick nodded and turned back to the stacked bottles. This was it. Patrick was going to win this. "And a-one and a-two and a-three!" and He threw the ball.
It was a direct hit. Knocking down all the cans.
"Yes!" Patrick shouted, throwing his fist up.
Suddenly and without warning, the ball hit the back of the stand and bounced off it. It came right back and then hit Wendy in the eye. "AAAAHH! MY EYE!" She yelled out in agony and held it.
"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Patrick exclaimed in a state of panic. How could that have happened? All that was supposed to happen was that he'd knock over the balls. "Wendy, I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Let me see." He gently grabbed her arms and moved them away from her eye. Only to flinch at the sight of her eye turning black.
"Does it look swollen," Wendy asked, but just the look on his face told her everything.
"Everything's gonna be fine! Don't worry!" Patrick looked around frantically to see just what he could do. "I'll-I'll go get some ice!" Patrick turned and ran to the Shack.
As he reached the Mystery Shack, Patrick ran to the ice box. He threw open the door of the box, making it bang against the wall, before the young man reached in and pulled out a bag of ice. He didn't have time to go into the Shack and search everywhere for a normal ice pouch. So, he was just going to have to do with a whole bag of ice.
With the ice bag, Patrick placed it on his shoulder and held onto it with his right hand. He then turned and ran back into the fair. "Where is she, where is she?" Patrick's eyes looked around for where Wendy was. Desperate to get back to her and make things up. He saw that she was still at the ball toss game, right before he ran into a man. The bag spilled out the ice as Patrick fell on his butt. Seeing the ice all over the place, Patrick quickly tried to scrape as much as he could into the bag. He then glared at the man he ran into. "Hey, watch where you're going, man!"
That man was the same bald man that stole Stan's screwdriver. He didn't respond, and only grabbed a tape measurer and then ran off.
After Patrick finished scraping some of the ice into the bag. He got up and started heading towards Wendy. However, there was a hole in the bag, and the content inside was beginning to spill. However, Patrick stopped and his eyes widened when he saw Robbie with Wendy, placing a grape flavor snow cone to her eye.
"Just ease your eyeball into that freezy cone," the emo said to her.
"Robbie, thanks," Wendy said in relief, as Robbie held the snow cone in place. "That's really sweet. The gesture, and the flavored syrup."
"Yeah, I was just here at the right place at the right time."
Patrick gulped. Praying that Robbie wasn't going to do what Patrick knew he was going to do.
"Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you... we've known each other for a long time now and I was wondering if, maybe, you want to go out with me?"
Patrick was now squeezing the bag into his chest, now praying that she says no.
Wendy only thought for a second, before giving him her answer; "Yeah, I guess so."
To know just how heartbroken and devastated Patrick felt, one just had to look behind him to see a balloon shaped like a heart is popped by a dart at the balloon burst game. Patrick's teenage heart felt like it was destroyed the moment Wendy accepted Robbie's request. The young man fell to his knees and dropped the ice bag.
While staying where he was, Mabel came up to Patrick with Waddles in her arms. "Look, Patrick! I won my pet pig! His name is Waddles. I call 'im that because he waddles!" She said, not even noticing that Patrick looked like he just had his heart broken. Mabel then shook Waddles. "Waaaaaaaa-dddllleeessss!"
Dipper then came over with a face that was battered and bruised. With an expression of horror, he tried to speak, but all that came out was gibberish.
"Everything is different now," Patrick said after finding the will to speak.
"What are you lookin' at," Mabel asked, so Patrick pointed.
Dipper and Mabel turned their heads to see Robbie and Wendy hold hands and run to the over to the Tunnel of Love and Corn-dogs. The new couple stepped up and got into one of the corn-dog cars, before the ride took them into the tunnel.
Just see that provided them more than all the information they needed. "Oh…"
A few hours later, and the sun was starting to go down, as night fell. To keep the fair going into the night, the lights on the games and ferris wheel were turned on.
However, despite beautiful it all was, Patrick still wasn't out of his depression. Laying down on the Slopey Toss 2 skee-ball, Patrick stared up at the sky while surrounded by a mess of chicken wing that he ate, leaving only the bones litter all over the place. There were also the Styrofoam boxes that they came in and even empty paper cups that were used for the dipping sauce. His mouth covered with the flavored sauce and the BBQ of the wings.
Even with all the wings he's eaten, Patrick still wasn't feeling better. Not only did he lose Wendy to Robbie, but worse, it happened because he hurt her. He didn't ever want to do that to her. Just replaying that image in his head, when Wendy was hit right in the eye and then when she looked at him in pain. It all made him more miserable, and he was starting to fall back down to the same level of depression that he was in after killing his clone Maverick.
"Uh, are you gonna move?" asked a large man, was wanting to play the skee-ball game.
Patrick didn't even look at him, but did comply in a way. He rolled over and fell off the Slopey Toss 2, landing on some wing bones and even getting his head stuck in a Styrofoam tub.
The man was about to play, only to see that the game was covered with some of the sauces. "Aw..." Disappointed, he turned and left.
A few feet away, Dipper was trying to brush his teeth, after all other attempts to get the taste of Pacifica's kill out of his mouth. He stopped and tasted around his mouth. "Ugh! What expensive lip boom did she use!" He exclaimed in frustration, before giving up and throwing down the spent tube of toothpaste and brush. He then went over to the skee-ball game and sat down on it was a pout.
Mabel then came into the picture. Holding up Waddles, who is dressed as a doctor, and having him near Patrick's head. "Paging Dr. Waddles, we got a boy here with a broken heart. Haha!"
"Go away," Patrick moaned with his head still in the bucket.
"Come on, man. These are the jokes," Mabel told him, seeing he's not even chuckling at her usual playing around.
He sighed. "Guys, do you ever wish you could go back and undo just one mistake?"
"Nope! I do everything right, all the time!"
"I refuse to believe that," Dipper said like it was second natural.
"Guys, this is serious," Patrick said, sitting up and taking the bucket off his head. "I hurt the one girl I actually like and now she's going out with that jerk! I can't believe I did that!"
"And not to mention she's going out with Robbie of all people," Dipper said, as Mabel played with Waddles.
"Wendy only went out with Robbie because he was there with the ice, and she needed the ice because of the baseball, and I would've had the ice if it wasn't for..." He stopped and gasped when he saw the one person responsible for him dropping the ice. The bold man from before had his back turned towards them as he worked on something.
"YOU!" Patrick stood up and pointed at the man. It was enough to startle the man, as Patrick started walking towards him. "Hey, you! Toolbelt! You ruined my life!"
"Huh?" The bald man looked at him in great confusion.
Dipper squinted at the man as he, Mabel, and Waddle approached. "Hey, I've seen you before! What's your deal? Are you following us around?" He demanded with a glare.
"And why are you bald? What's that all about," Mabel asked.
"Shut up, Mabel," said Patrick.
"AAAAAGH! My position has been COMPROMISED!" The man said in a voice that very distinctive. Like something from a cartoon. "Assuming stealth mode!" He pressed the buttons on his watch and tried to make his suit change and make him disappear. However, all it did was seem to malfunction and started changing to different backgrounds. "Color match! Initiating color match! Come on, dang it!" Frustrated, the man took out the screwdriver and tried to fix it. Almost forgetting that the three kids were still in front of him.
"That's amazing!" Dipper exclaimed.
"Are you from the future or something," Mabel asked with amazement.
Now the man was starting to panic. "Uh, NO! Who told you that?! MEMORY WIPE! The bald man then threw a wipe at Mabel. Hitting her in the face.
Mabel took the wipe off and looked at it. "This is a baby wipe," she told him.
Sitting down on some hay that was behind him, the man sighed exasperatedly. "All right, you've cornered me. I'm... a time traveler."
"Oh, that's the biggest load of…wait a minute." Patrick changed his major feelings of doubt towards the revelation with curiosity. "If you're from the future, do you have like a time machine, or something?"
"That's... kinda how it works," the bald man said. Then Patrick's attention was directed to the ferris wheel behind him. Immediately caught by Robbie and Wendy riding on it. They looked at each other happily, with the emo's arm around her shoulder.
Patrick looked at the bald man with a grin. "Can I borrow it?"
"Absolutely…NOT!" the bald man shot up onto his feet.
"Oh, come on! Please? Just once? I'll take good care of it."
"No! Out of the question!" The man then pulled out a tape measure with an hourglass symbol on its side to show them. Point at it as he explained. "You know, this is sensitive, extremely complicated time equipment," he said, pulling out the tape a little.
"It looks like a tape measure," Dipper pointed out.
"You shut your time-mouth!"
Patrick an eyebrow. "What?"
"This making any sense to you," Dipper asked his family.
"I think he's just crazy," whispered Mabel.
"Oh! You don't believe me?" The bald man pulled the tape and then released it. Then disappeared in a flash of blue light. The Pines kids looked at each other with eye widened. In half a second the man returned in another flash of light, this time wearing some old-fashioned clothing from the Renaissance. "Guess where I was!"
"Whoa!" the three kids said.
"That's right! 15 years ago, there was a costume shop right here! One second." He pulled the tape again and disappeared. Then reappeared in his normal suit, however it had some small flames on it. When he realized this, the man started patting out the fires. "Ah! Aw, heck! Pat! Pat down!"
"Wait, who are you again," Patrick asked.
The man pulled out his ID card. "Blendin Blandin, Time Anomaly Removal Crew year twenty sñeventy-twelve. My mission is to stop a series of time anomalies that are supposed to happen at this very location! But-but I don't see any anomalies! I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or I'm just really tired…" Blendin sat down on the hay.
Patrick saw his chance to fix things with Wendy and wasn't going to let it slip away. "You know, you sound like you could use a break," he said, going over and placing a hand on his shoulder. "I mean, look at yourself Blender."
"Blendin."
"Whatever. The point is, you've been working hard, my friend. Taking care of your time mission, but you haven't been taking the time to care of yourself." Patrick then further enticed him by pulling out two tickets. "Might I recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?"
The first part of the plan worked, and Blendin stood up. "You know what? What the hell! I'm worth it!" He grabbed the tickets from Patrick, who smile, before starting to leave. "But I've got my eye on you!"
While they watched the time traveler walked, Dipper asked Patrick, "Are you sure this is the right thing to do?"
"Do you want to undo your kiss," Patrick asked. That definitely got Dipper's attention.
Blendin approached Soos and one of the cheapest rides at the fair, the Rusty Barrel Rodeo. Consisting of several old, rusty barrels attached to a spinning platform, with a stack of barrels in the middle serving as the only 'decoration' on the ride. "One please."
Soos looked at Blendin's belt and saw the time machine. "Uh, sorry dude, but you're gonna have to take your belt off for the ride," he said, pointing to it. "One of your tools might fly off and accidentally fix something."
Blendin complied by taking off the belt, before giving it to him. "Guard it with your life," he said with absolute seriousness.
"I will watch it like a hawk, dude," Soos said when he grabbed the belt. Blendin then went on the platform before fitting himself into one of the barrels. Soos then started ride and sets the belt on the barrel at his side.
As Soos wasn't paying attention and Blendin was having a good time on it, Patrick snuck up, reached over, and took the belt.
"Like a hawk!"
After getting away with the time machine, Patrick, Dipper, Mabel and Waddles retreated to the Shack. Once inside, they all were sitting at the poker table, looking down at the time machine on the table.
"Here it is, you two. Our ticket to any moment in history," Patrick said. "The past, future, all at our fingertip."
Mabel grin. "Let's go get two dodos and force them to make out!"
"What? No! We gotta be smart about this. Altering the past could have disastrous on our timeline. That's why all I'm gonna do is go back and fix my one mistake. I won't hit Wendy in the eye, Robbie won't comfort her, and they won't start going out."
"And I'm going to beat Pacifica at that mechanical bull, put her in her place, and avoid kissing her," Dipper said.
"I'm coming, too!" Mabel said. "I wanna relive the greatest moment in my life: winning Waddles." She then kissed and petted her pig.
Patrick nodded and grabbed the time measure. He pulled back the tape and set it to 6 hours in the past. "Okay, you two. Grab on," he instructed the twins, and they complied, grabbing onto his arms. Patrick then pointed to Waddles. "See you later."
"See you earlier! Ha yuk yuk yuk!" Mabel joked before making that weird laugh.
Patrick the set the measure to go backwards in time, before releasing the tape. This made the three of them freeze, before everything went white.
They then disappeared.
When they reappeared, they were still in the Shack at the poker table. However, Patrick saw that his hat was on fire, and quickly patted it out. "Ah! Ha! Ha!"
They then smiled at each other and run over to the door with the time machine. Dipper grabbed the door and opened it.
"It's 12 o'clock! The dunk tank is now open! Step right up and dunk me folks! I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!"
It watched! They were back 6 hours in the past. "Do-over," Patrick asked the twins.
"Do-over!" The twins exclaimed, and all of them ran off to do their own things.
Dipper and Mabel ran together towards the Win a Pig, where Pacifica was. When he got to her, Dipper called out, "Pacifica, I challenge you with who can stay on that mechanical bull."
Pacifica really didn't know why he wanted to challenge her, but she wasn't complaining to win against the brother of her nemesis. "Fine, you're on."
As the two and walked off, Mabel ran over to Sprott. "If'n you can gue—"
"15 POUNDS!" Mabel exclaimed, having already grabbed Waddles. She then walked off, but then came back. "And yes, I am a witch!" Now she walked off for real.
"Well, time to round up a mob," said Sprott, picking up and lighting a torch.
Meanwhile Dipper climbed onto the mechanical bull. This time he was already and wasn't going to fall off it. He grabbed onto the handle on the saddle and pushed his legs into its body.
The operator started the bull, and just like before, the bull malfunctioned. It yanked back, then yanked forward, but Dipper wasn't thrown off. The ride then started working properly, going at a normal pace and movements. "This isn't so bad," Dipper said, but then the ride shuck around, violently.
Then suddenly, just like in the beginning, he was thrown forward. Crashing into Pacifica.
And just like before, Dipper was on top of Pacifica, accidentally locked to the lips.
"What!?" Dipper exclaimed, quickly getting off. He looked at his hands for a moment. It was just like the last time. "That's so weird..."
Then some growling noise made him nervously turn his head to see Pacifica glaring hatefully at him.
"Oh no," he said, before being grabbed by the shirt.
"Hey Wendy," said Patrick as he ran up to Wendy's side, and started walking with her.
"There you are. Hey, what happened to your hat," she asked.
Patrick took it off for a moment to look at it. "Uh, nothing," he quickly said, before seeing the ball toss carnival stand and pointed at it. "Hey, look! What's that?"
"Whoa! Check it out!" Wendy said, looking up at the strange plush toy. "I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one."
That's it. If he's unable to hit the bottles, then the baseball wouldn't bounce off the back, and Wendy wouldn't get hurt. "One ball, please," he said to the carnie, giving him the ticket.
"You only get one chance," the carnie told him and handed him the ball.
"That's what you think..." Patrick murmured to himself and took the ball. Patrick turned his head to Wendy, who grinned and gave him a thumbs up. "One panda-duck, comin' right up!" And so, he got ready to throw. This was his second chance. All he had to do was hit the table the bottles were on, and nothing would happen. He couldn't mess this up.
Patrick threw the ball and said out loud, "Bad throw!"
Just as he hoped, the ball missed and hit the table, only for it to bounces back, and hits Wendy in the eye. "AH! MY EYE!"
"What?!" Patrick exclaimed out loud, shock and horrified. "No, no, no!" Just like the last time, he reached over and moved her hands from her eyes. Just like before, it was black.
"Does it look swollen?"
Patrick didn't answer and turned away, before looking at his own hands. "What's going on? It should have worked!"
"Oh, hey Robbie." Patrick heard Wendy say that, he quickly turned around to see Robbie right there, placing the same snow cone to her damaged eye.
"So anyway, we've been hanging out a lot and I've been wondering if, maybe, you would want to go out with me," Robbie asked that one faithful question.
"Yeah, I guess so," Wendy said, making Patrick's eye twitch. This could not be happening.
Patrick gathered Dipper and Mabel together, each having gone through their redone with the exact same outcomes. Dipper looked like he's beaten to a pulp, and Mabel was feeding Waddles a caramel apple. Patrick on the other hand watched Robbie and Wendy as they stepped onto the same tunnel of love with a frown. "This doesn't make any sense," he said to the twins.
"I know, right," Dipper said, also puzzled, placing a hand on a bump on his head Pacifica gave him. "The exact same thing happened twice; it was spooky."
"Oo, maybe it's a time-curse," Mabel said, sitting on the base of one of those classic Test-Your-Strength games.
"You mean a time paradox," Patrick said with a raised brow. However, that got him thinking. That time traveler said something about a time anomaly going on and seemed really scared at the thought of a paradox. Then a new thought entered his head. It was far-fetched, and even seemed like something out of science fiction, but it's the only other explanation. "Here's a scary thought, but what if the forces of time are naturally correcting itself? Preventing us from making any other outcome."
Dipper thought for a moment. "It's a possibility. No, we just need to try again. Third time's the charm," he exclaimed, as Mabel stood up to go back in time with them.
"How hard could it be," she asked with a big grin. Patrick nodded and pulled the tape on the time machine. Dipper and Mabel placed their hands on him, before he released the tape. The three of them disappeared, right before an angry mob with torches walked around where they once were. Lead by Scotts, they all were looking for Mabel, who they really believed to be a witch.
And for about three more re-does, the three Pines children have been redoing the exact same thing. And each time they did, it would all have the same results.
Third redo, with Dipper:
Instead of having himself go first, Dipper gestured for Pacifica to go with a confident smirk. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, but if he really insisted, then who was she to deny him. Pacifica walked up to the mechanical bull and hopped onto it, while Dipper made sure to stand away from where. So that he didn't get hit when she was thrown off the bull. He watched as the bull started and nearly threw her off, and Dipper was just waiting for the blonde to be thrown off. Then the bull suddenly and without warning turned towards him, and then bucked Pacifica off its back at him. The two crashed into each other and kiss. Pacifica got off and looked pissed off at him. "Hey, you kissed me!" Dipper exclaimed, before getting beat up. "Ow! OW!"
Fourth redo, with Mabel:
While her twin and cousin were having absolutely no luck with their goals, Mabel continued to have the time of her life with Waddle. On this redo, she and the pig shared a pizza, eating it together until their cheeks touched.
Fifth redo, with Patrick:
At this point, Patrick was getting nervous. On the third redo, he threw with his left hand, knocking over the bottles, but just like the first time, the ball bounced off the back of the stand, and hit Wendy. The fourth redo, Patrick had Wendy stand on his other side. This time when he threw the ball, it knocked over the bottles, but bounced off the table, bounced off one of the plushies, hit the carnie and bounced off his face, then slammed into Wendy's face. And each time he did, Robbie was right there, stepping in to comfort her and ask her out.
This time, when Patrick got the ball and Wendy gave him the thumbs up, he hesitated. "Wendy, how badly do you want that stuffed animal thing," he asked the ginger.
"More than anything in the world, Patrick," she said to him in a serious tone.
Patrick sighed in defeat. "Okay..." He threw the ball. It missed and bounced off the table. Going upwards, the baseball hits a bag of extra balls that was hanging above. Wendy screamed in pain when the bag broke open and the balls spilled onto her. Not only hitting her in the eye, but all over her body. Patrick was shocked and was about to help, but the Robbie appeared out of nowhere and helped her up. He looked Patrick with disapproval and shakes his head. Patrick frowned and banged his head on the table.
"That's it! I give up!" Patrick exclaimed, as he, Mabel and Dipper were waiting near a popcorn machine, which Dipper was writing out an equation on. This was their sixth redo and he and Dipper have done everything to prevent their unfortunate event from occurring. And every time they did, it all came back to the same results.
Dipper looked at him in disbelief, with a face that was more bruised up than before. "What?! But…I'm close," he pleaded, gesturing to his equation.
Mabel was knitting a sweater before looking at her brother. "Face it, Dipper, you and Patrick are obviously fated to have a bad day at the fair, just like I'm fated to be with Waddles," she said, showing them her sweater that was reddish with Waddles on it.
"Besides, why can't you just, I don't know, not challenge Pacifica," Patrick suggest in a tone that said it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"There's one variable missing..." Dipper said, drawing an equal sign at the end of his equation.
"What's a variable," Mabel asked, popping up from behind the popcorn machine.
The place that she popped her head up behind the glass made her right beside the equal sign. It was then that Dipper got an idea. "That's it! I've figured out how I can prevent Pacifica from kissing me! I just have to not challenge her!"
Patrick frown at him. "You're a real genius, Dipper," he said with sarcasm.
"Oh, it's not just that, Patrick. I've also got a plan that'll help you win the toss, not hit Wendy, and stop Wendy and Robbie from going out!"
Patrick's eyes widened in surprise. He only had one thing to say to that; "I'm in."
"Awesome! I'm gonna go win my pig again," Mabel told them, before turning and was about to walk off towards Win a Pig.
Dipper however stopped her, by running over and grabbing Mabel by the arm. "Whoa whoa whoa, you can't leave, I need you for this plan to work!"
"But what about Waddles," Mabel asked.
"It'll just take a few minutes, let's go!" He grabbed her by the arm again and pulled her away, with Patrick running to catch up.
Once again, Patrick was with Wendy at the bottle toss game. He looked at the ball in his hands and then turned his head towards Dipper. His cousin was standing a few feet away from him. Dipper was waiting for the right moment for Patrick to make the shot. He licked his finger and held it up, feeling and measuring the wind. He then looked at the plush toys, then towards the roof of one of the tents, looking at the little flag at the top. Dipper then turned to Patrick and nodded.
"Are you gonna go, man," Wendy asked Patrick, bringing him back to reality.
Patrick smiled and nodded. It was time to set everything right, so he got ready to throw. "And a-one and a-two and a-uh!" He threw the ball, but not at the bottles. But straight up.
"Ah! Dude! You missed!" Wendy said, watching as the ball continued flying up, before turning her head to Patrick. However, she was confused by his cool and unworried look.
"Did I," Patrick asked and pointed up to the ball.
The ball was now starting to come back down, touching to top of the tent before rolling down it and then being flown up into the air again. It was sent flying and hitting a question mark made of wieners. This redirected the baseball towards the Mystery Shack. It hit the roof and then rolled down to a pipe which Mabel, who was on the roof, lifted up. By lifting up the pipe, she made a ramp for the ball, and it flew off again.
In the air, it goes for the target of the dunk tank, much to Stan and the other people's shock. The tourist all gasp as they watched the ball fly, only to be disappointed when it hit the target and bounced off, doing nothing.
The ball continued to fly, and was actually beginning to return to Patrick and Wendy. but before it could get there, it knocked a slice of pizza out of a man's hand, and then knocked off Robbie's snow cone.
Patrick and Wendy quickly ducked out of the way as the ball flew between them. Knocking down all the cans, bouncing off the back of the stand, and then breaking through the top of the tent.
The two teenagers stood up, with the ginger looking at what had just happened with a look of amazement. Her mood brightened even more when the carnie grabbed one of the plush animals and brought it to her. "Your stuffed creature of indeterminate species, miss."
"Oh, awesome!" Wendy grabbed the stuffed animal and squeezed it with a hug. She then turned to Patrick with a bright grin. "Thanks, Pat." Despite her using that nickname for him, Patrick smiled and took off his. Holding it out, his boonie hat caught the ball as it fell into it.
Then Robbie walked over to them. "There you are, Wendy!"
"Hi, Robbie."
"So I was wondering if I.. you a..."
However, without out Wendy being hit in the eye, Robbie couldn't work up the courage to ask her out. And without that black eye, her full attention wasn't towards him, but to the stuffed panda/duck. "Look what Dipper got for me!"
Robbie looked at it, before seeing Patrick lean out from behind Wendy with a grin. "Pfft. Whatever." The moody teenager got…moody and pulled his hood over his head. "Can't even tell what species it is. Stupid." He then pulled the strings and the hoodie tightened around his face and covered it. Turning around, Robbie miserably walked away.
"What's his deal?" Wendy stared at the emo with a puzzled look.
"Beats me." Patrick shrugged. He then looked at the ground for a moment, before taking a deep breath. "Hey, Wendy." She turned around and looked at him. This was it. No going back. No mistakes. "Look, I…I know we've only known each other for about a mouth, but you and I've been hanging out for a long time now and…well, would you like to out with me?"
Wendy was taken back by this, which was really saying something. Ever since her braces came off, almost every boy in Gravity Falls have had their eyes on the ginger and have asked her out. And Wendy's dated a lot of guys, even for her age of 15. She's seen them all, and each time she thought that they'd be different from the last guy she dated, but they were all the same. A bunch of jerks.
Her mind went back to the drawing of her that Patrick drew, which she remembered was still in her pocket. After being around him and the two getting to know one another, Wendy could honestly say that Patrick was different. Much different from any other guy she's met. He was cool without trying to impress her too much. Serious but yet funny. Kind to others, and brave for his cousins. But just the events of with the Windmill Vandals and when she found out about his six toed feet show her that he was not a perfect person. In general, he was flawed, but that's why she liked him. She was honestly really worried about him during the time that he was suddenly in a gloomy mood and looked like he did something horrible after the Mystery Shack party, so she was happy seeing him back to his normal self.
It was surprising to her that he would be interested in someone like her, but after thinking about it for a long while, as she could tell from the worried expression on Patrick's face, Wendy gave him her answer with a smile. "Yeah, sure."
Patrick looked shocked at first when he heard her accept him, before a big joyful grinned spread on his face. Watching the two teenagers as they grabbed hands and walked off, Dipper and Mabel came over and stood a few feet behind their cousin. Looking really satisfied with their work. "Mabel, we're awesome at this match making," the brother said.
"Agree, broseph." Mabel then turned around. "Now to win my pig. AH!"
The gasp startled Dipper and he looked at her with confusion. He then followed her gaze and saw that Pacifica was that the Win a Pig pen, with Sprott handing her Waddles. "He's all yours! No one else's! Ol' 15-Poundy. Yours. Forever!"
"Oh no," Dipper said, now knowing what was wrong. As Pacifica linked a leash onto Waddles and pulled him away, with Waddles squealing and disobediently, he turned to Mabel, and saw her look of horror. "Mabel…"
Mabel suddenly screamed in terror, before turning around and running away. Dipper knew where she was going and had to stop her.
As for Patrick and Wendy, their ride on the Tunnel of Love and Corn dogs was coming to an end. They laughed together as their car exited out of the tunnel. "That was even more awesome the third time around!" Wendy said to her boyfriend, before gasping with excitement and point at something. "Funnel cake! Let's go get some, Patrick!"
She hopped out of the and ran off to get some of the funnel cake, with Patrick about to follow her. However, after he stepped off the corn dog car and was about to run after her, it sounded like someone was screaming. Stopping for a moment, he looked around to see where it was coming from, and picked his ear when he thought that he was hearing things. However, he heard that it was coming from behind him and turned to see Mabel running up to him, screaming her head off. "AAAAAAA!"
"What's—"
"AAAAAAAAAA!"
"Mabel, what's—"
"AAAAAAAAA!"
"MABEL!" Patrick yelled, startling her enough to finally get her to stop screaming. He took a deep breath and exhaled. Calming down. "Okay, what is wrong?"
"We messed up the timeline!" Mabel exclaimed with a sad face "Originally, Pacifica was the first one there before I was, but then Dipper came, challenged her, and kissed her, making me the one to win Waddles. But because Dipper wasn't there to take her to the mechanical bull and I wasn't there to do anything about it, Pacifica won Waddles! She TOOK Waddles, Patrick!"
"Oh." Patrick was surprised to hear that, but his expression turned to sympathy when he saw her starting to cry. "Oh my God, Mabel I'm so sorry," he said, before pulling out the time machine. "Look, it's going to be okay. We just need to go back and do things differently."
"Wait! Don't do it." The two of them heard Dipper and turned towards him. Dipper had run up to Patrick from the other side of the tunnel of love with an urgent look. "Look. I did the math. In any other timeline, Wendy ends up going out with Robbie, and if I do challenge Pacifica, I end up kissing her. I'm not going to let that girl be my first kiss, again!"
Patrick looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Is a kiss from her really that bad? "But if we don't go, I'll lose Waddles forever!" Mabel exclaimed, before she jumped at Patrick and grabbed the time machine. Trying to wrestle it out of his hands.
However, Patrick wasn't having any of it, and was a little surprised by her sudden grab for the time and tried to push him away from it. He was about to yank it away and scold her, but then Dipper tackled him too, causing Patrick to fall back when another car came by. The tape measure was caught by the car, and all the three kids could do was watch as it was pulled out a long way before letting go.
"Crap!" They all shouted before the time machine completely rolled up and they disappeared in a flash of light.
When they appeared, they were high up in the air, before falling to the ground on their faces.
Patrick, Dipper and Mabel were the first ones to get up. Dusting themselves off, they looked around that their surroundings. There was no fair. Nor was there a Mystery Shack. No people, and the wildlife were more abundant than it was before. Where they were standing in now was a dirt road that led to who knows where.
"When are we," asked Dipper.
"Don't you mean when are we," Mabel asked, before realizing that Dipper already said that.
"Oh, shut up!" Patrick grabbed the two of them by their heads and slammed them together, hard. They bother both screamed in pain, before they fell to the ground again, holding their heads as they throbbed in agony.
"What was that for?" Mabel rubbed her head.
"What was that for? What was that for?! What the actual FUCK were you thinking, Mabel!?" Patrick yelled at her with a look a fury.
"Me?!"
"YES, YOU! We could have figured something else out! Now look at what the—" He snapped his head at Dipper. "—BOTH of you have done!" He said yelling at them when he started to feel a vibration in the ground. The twins also felt it. Then the sound of rumbling was heard from down the path.
The three of them look, just as a whole herd of buffalo came stampeding right for them.
"Oh my God, RUN!"
"AAAAAAAAAA!" They all screamed and started running from the herd. The buffalo kept coming right for them, as Patrick pulled out the time machine and tried to get it to get them back to the present. The twins looked behind at the buffalo.
None of the were looking at where they were going. So, when they ran through some bushes, the three ended up running off the side of a cliff. Only when they realize this that they started falling.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!" They all screamed for their lives before they crashed through the canvas roof of a wagon. Breaking their fall by landing onto some flour. This made them look around at their surroundings. Behind the wagon they were in, there were more, along with horse and men walking on a narrow path on the face of the cliff. All of them in settler outfits.
"Be on the lookout for mountain lions, travelers!" One of the settlers said.
"Dysentery!" exclaimed a man walking with the horse, holding up a canteen. "Who wants dysentery?"
"Forge ahead, mighty oxen, for a new life awaits us on this... Oregon trail." Said the driver.
When he heard that, Patrick got worried. "Oh no."
"Where are we? The 70s," Mabel asked.
"You sent us back 150 years, genius, it's pioneer times!" Dipper whispered.
"By Trembley!" The driver exclaimed when he saw Patrick and the twins. "Fertilia, it seems you've given birth to three more children!"
"It appears I have." Patrick and the twins turned their heads to see the woman sitting with six other children near her. "More little hands to render the tallow."
Mabel giggled at that. "Tallow? What?"
"Her mouth is filled with silver, mother!" One of Fertilia's sons pointed at the girl's mouth.
"These are called braces," Mabel said.
"Mabel, knock it off," Patrick whispered, pulling her away. "We can't start messing with the past!"
"Oh, said the guy who messed with the past all day and cost me my pig?" Mabel retorted.
"That was because we were restarting one day. We are way far into the past and the effects that we could be doing could destroy the fabric of time and…"
But Mabel didn't listen to him and pulled out a calculator, before showing it to the boy. "Check it out! A magic button machine!" She said, giving it to him. "Shoes that blink!" Mabel then stomped on the floor and her shoes lit up.
"Ooooooooohhhhhh!" said the family.
"Stop it!" Patrick yelled before handing Dipper the time machine and taking the calculator back from the pioneer boy. "Get that thing set for the present and get us out of here."
"Hey, sister! Guess who gets to vote in the future! Ladies! Up top!" Mabel continued to further mess up the timeline by offering Fertilia a high five. The woman looked confused, but did it nonetheless. "That's called a high five! Teach it to your friends!"
Patrick reached out and grabbed her arm. He yanked her away from the family and turned to Dipper. "Are you set?"
"There's a back-to-the-present button," Dipper said with his finger over the button. "We've gotta set the timeline right!" He presented the button, and the three of them disappeared.
When the three kids reappeared, they were out of pioneer. Patrick, Mabel and Dipper sighed a sigh of relief, only for a red bolt to nearly hit the male twin's foot. He jumped back, startled, which made them look at their surroundings.
Turned out that the time machine did take them to the present. Just not their present. The Pines family was standing in the middle of a futuristic city; however, it was all in ruins. Like a war was sent right through it. The sky was a sickly yellow, and there were two moons with a green glow.
Running past them were these freedom fighters that were in a tactical retreat. One of the stopped and looked that the kids with a laser gun in his hand. The gun looked like a futuristic sawed-off double-barrel shotgun with no shock.
"What are you kids doing here? It's coming! Quick, take this!" He threw the laser gun at them. Patrick caught it with ease, looking at it with wide eyes.
He then screamed and ran away, only to be blasted into dust by a massive float baby. No kidding, it was the size of a small building with a glowing red hourglass mark on his head and black eyes. His head was bigger than his body, with pink blush on his cheeks and long eyelashes. He was also half nude, and was wearing only a diaper.
His eyes turned red, before he shot laser beams from his eyes. Laughing evilly, the giant baby floated away while destroying more buildings.
"This future seems neat!" Mabel smile.
"Get us out of here," Patrick said, putting the laser gun in his sweater. Dipper nodded and frantically started pressing buttons. The three of them disappeared again.
When they reappeared again, they were back to the day their great uncle had taken them fishing. Mabel took this as the opportunity she needed to snatch the time machine from her brother and started running off. "I'M COMING, WADDLES!"
"Hey/You brat!" Dipper and Patrick yelled at the same time before running after the girl. The calculator dropping out of Patrick's sweater. Right before Old Man McGucket started yelling.
They time traveled again, and the two males chased Mabel behind the crowd of people that came for Stan's reopening of the Mystery Shack Wax Museum. Dipper tripped over a wire on the ground and lost his shoes, before continuing to run after his twin.
Then they were running behind the monster made of gnomes on the day they started their mystery shoving days. As she moved, Mabel ended up losing her flower hairclip, but didn't stop running.
The next jump they made was a day they didn't recognize, as it was in the middle of winter and it was snowing. "This thing is getting hotter!" Mabel exclaimed, as blue lightning started to come off it, making her toss it from hand to hand. "HOT! HOTHOTHOT!"
The three Pines kids stopped running and Patrick grabbed the time machine from her. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
"I DON'T KNOW!"
The lightning of the machine started to intensify, before it consumed the fearful children and then they disappeared.
After they are gone, a light inside the Shack turned on. The front door was opened before a man stepped out to see what all the noise was. "What was all that, Stanford?" asked a woman's voice.
"Nothing I can see, Veronica," Stanford said, before closing the door.
The next time they reappeared, Patrick, Dipper and Mabel were in complete darkness.
"Where are we," asked Mabel.
"There's nothing but inky blackness for miles!" Patrick said.
"Mabel, don't you see? We've transported to the end of time!" Dipper yelled.
"AAAGH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
"AAAGH!" Patrick screamed after Mabel and then Dipper, but then stopped when he smelt something. Why was there a smile at the end of time? "Wait, why does it smell so bad in here?"
He reached out with his arm and touched a surface. That turned out to be a door and opened up. As they walked out of the portable toilet at the Mystery Fair, they exhaled the bad smells and inhaled fresh air into their lungs.
"Look, we're back in the present!" Mabel pointed.
"But which present," Dipper asked.
Patrick looked around for a moment before he saw Robbie walking around with his hoodie still covering his miserable face. Patrick's eyes followed him before he saw Wendy holding her stuffed animal, looking at it like it was the best present ever.
"Yes!" The teenage fist-pumped.
But then they heard a pig squealing and saw Pacifica pulling Waddles by his leash, as the swine tried to pull away from her.
"NO!" Mabel shouted, before lunging at Patrick and trying to reach for the time machine. "Gimme that thing! Patrick give it back!"
However, Patrick held it over his head and out of Mabel's reach. He'd just about had enough of her and pushed her hard enough to make her take a few sets back before falling to the ground. "Look, Mabel, it's over! Okay? Give it up!" He exclaimed.
"But what about Waddles? He was my soulmate!" Mabel looked at him with pleading eyes that hurt to look at.
Dipper then stepped in. "You said that about a ball of yarn once! I'm not having Pacifica be my first kiss! Besides, what about Patrick?" He then gestured to Patrick, making sure what he said got to her. "This is what we wanted! For him and Wendy to be together. Do you really want to take that away from him?"
Mabel looked at the two, ready to cry at any moment. She then pulled out some phones of her and the pig. She really did love Waddles, but she loved Patrick just as much. Waddles was special to her, but so was Patrick. Was there really no other way. Was she going to sacrifice her happiness for Patrick, or sacrifice his happiness for hers? "I don't know..." she said miserably. Not just to the two before her, but to herself.
She then closed her eyes, turned and went over to the totem pole. Mabel then started to hit her head against.
Seeing this made Patrick worried. "Hey, don't…" Dipper stopped him.
"Don't fall for it. She's just trying to guilt-trip us," he told him.
Patrick looked at Mabel with a concerned look. "Are you sure?"
"Come on, Patrick, I know her. She's gonna forget about this in a day!" Dipper then handed the time machine to Patrick. "In fact, go and see for yourself." Patrick took the time machine and set it for one day into the future.
When he reappeared, the Fair was being taken down, and there was no one in sight. But worst, Mabel was still hitting her head on the totem pole. Patrick was now starting to get worried again, and went forward one week into the future.
When he reappeared a week later, the girl was still hitting herself. Patrick started to sweat and grabbed the tape. She'll better in a month. She had to be. So, Patrick went forward a month into the future.
He really wished he hadn't. When Patrick reappeared in the future, Mabel was in a worst state than he's ever seen her in. Vines growing on her legs, her colors of her clothing were fading and losing their hue, Mabel's skin was pale, and she looked as though she hadn't eaten in days. But worst of all was that her forehead was bruised and there was a bandaged wrapped around her head, with red blood on the area that she hits. "Waddles..." She moaned for her pig and smacked her head. "Waddles..." She smashed it again.
Patrick couldn't bear to look and turned away. Then two people walked over to him. "It's hard to look at, isn't it," Wendy asked with Dipper carrying a first aid kit and a small pillow.
"What are you guys doing here," he asked.
Dipper walked over to his sister with an expression of guilt. "We've been doing all we could to get her to stop, but she just wouldn't," he said, before trying to replace the bandage with one hand, while using the other one to protect her bleeding head from hitting the totem.
"Dipper told me everything," said Wendy, surprising Patrick. "About hitting me in the eye and using a time machine to make things right and ask me out. So, we waited for you."
Patrick looked down at the time machine and then looked at Mabel. Dipper used rope to tie the pillow to the totem pole after replacing Mabel's bloodied bandages. Now her head wasn't hitting against the hard wood. With his job done, Dipper walked away to give Patrick and Wendy some space.
But just seeing his cousin in this state just made Patrick sick to his stomach. And so, he came to a decision. "Wendy, have to back and fix this," he said, looking at her. "And if I do, then we're going to boyfriend and girlfriend."
Wendy a little taken back by this. However, it wasn't long before she smiled at him. "I know. And when you do hit me in the eye, me ending up with Robbie and Dipper will have to kiss Pacifica. But at least Mabel will be happy."
Patrick was a little surprised by how well she was handling this so-called breakup. "So…you're okay with this," he asked.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy that I haven't seen you in over a mouth and you're just breaking up with me," she said with a stern and upset look. However, she smiled again. "But that doesn't mean I'm not glad you're doing it for your family."
Patrick smiled and nodded.
"Oh, and one more thing."
Patrick looked up from time machine, and Wendy leaned forward and kissed him.
Surprised, Patrick stared at her closed eyes with wider ones. New feeling started to spring from his heart as he closed his eyes and kissed back. That's when he figured it out, as the kiss ended with Wendy pulling away, and smirking at him.
"See you earlier," she whispered.
Patrick recognized the joke, but also realized that she'd pulled the tape of the time machine. Setting it to the day of the fair.
She lets it go, and Patrick disappeared.
And so, after Patrick told him about what happened and what became of Mabel, Dipper reluctantly agreed to go kiss Pacifica for his twin's sake. So, he walked over to the Win a Pig game, as the rich girl approached it.
Why does this have to happen to him? He tried challenging her to any other games in the many redoes he had, but she didn't want to do any of them. And even when he asked her what game she'd want to do, she pointed to the mechanical bull.
He gulped and groaned. This time, he was really going to hate himself for doing this. "Hey! Pacifica!"
Pacifica turned and smirked arrogantly when she saw him. "Well, if it isn't—" Dipper suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed his lips into hers. Shocking everyone around them and making them gasp.
With Pacifica too shocked to do anything, Dipper held it for as long as he was willing to, before pushing away and into the wooden fence of the pig pen. "There, I did it," he said, before holding up his arms and moving them in a presenting manner. "Go ahead, do your worst."
Pacifica looked really pissed off. "Oh, that's not even close to what I'm going to do to you," she growled, punching her palm.
A few painful moments later, and Dipper was pushed across the ground. Now more bruised and battered, he laid there as a steaming Pacifica walked away. He sighed. "It's done."
As he stood up, he was attacked by a happy Mabel. She tackled him to the ground with a big grin and a hug, and with Waddles touching him with his nose. "DIPPER!" She shouted with overwhelming joy, before picking him up and hugging him tightly. "THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"
When she was done, Mabel put him down. "It wasn't all my idea," he said.
"AUUGH! MY EYE!" Those faithful words brought their attention elsewhere.
After accidently hitting Wendy in the eye, Patrick watched as she walked away with Robbie. Hearing him ask her out just made the Pines teenager all the more miserable.
"PATRICK!" Mabel shouted as she ran over and tackled him with a hug, but Patrick didn't fall over. "You save Waddles!"
"Whoop de fucking do!" Patrick groaned with an irked expression and the time machine in his hand.
Suddenly the device was taken from him. "YOU THREE!" Blendin shouted with a finger pointed at the Pines kids.
While Dipper and Mabel, and even Waddles was frightened, Patrick looked at the man with a look of misery and aggravation. "Look, buddy, I sorry for taking your time machine. But I'm tired and now I'm heartbroken, so can we just call it a day and move on?"
"You think it's that easy?! Do you have any idea, how many rules you just broke?! I'm asking; I wasn't there with you... it was probably a lot, right?"
Then things got crazier for Patrick and the twins when two large, muscular men in futuristic clothing and armor appeared out of nowhere. One of these men took the time machine from Blendin as the other one said, "Blendin Blandin..."
"AAAAGH! The Time Paradox Avoidment Enforcement Squadron!" Blendin yelled.
"That's right, and our phones have been ringing off the hook!" said the second man. "There are settlers high-fiving in the 1800's and calculators littered through eight centuries!"
Patrick's eyes widened. So that meant he and the twins never found out who was causing those time anomalies Blendin was looking for, before because they were the ones that caused them. Or something like that. His head hurts just thinking about it.
"You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct." the two future men grabbed Blendin.
"It was those kids!" Blendin desperately said while he was being taken away. "And their leader, Waddles!"
"That's a pig, Blendin."
Blendin glared at Patrick, Dipper and Mabel. "I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never MEET!" But after looking at their bodies and see that they were still there, they figured that he didn't get the chance to go back, or forgot to.
[Play music: The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel]
Later on, as the sun was beginning to set, Patrick was up on the secret hang that Wendy brought him and the twins up to on the roof. He was looking at the sunset, hoping that it'd help him clear his head. But he still felt the same as he did earlier. Wendy knew what he had to do, but that kiss and him realizing that he was in love with the ginger left him heartbroken, mad, and devastated.
So, when Dipper and Mabel came to check up on him, bringing him a case of soda, they were worried when they saw him sitting near the edge of the roof.
"Hey, did you see me sick Waddles on Robbie," Mabel asked with a hopeful smile.
"Yeah," Patrick said.
"Are you going to be okay," Dipper asked.
Patrick was silent for a moment. "You guys were right; I am in love with Wendy."
Surprised and concerned, Mabel and Dipper glanced at each other. They then looked back at Patrick, now knowing that he really gave up the chance be with Wendy and that he was probably really hurting inside. "You wanna talk about it," Mabel asked.
"…No."
Mabel didn't push it. Knowing that she really messed up. Being supportive, she and her brother sit down with him between them. She then pulled off a soda from the carrier and give it to Patrick. Patrick looked at her for a moment, before giving her a weak smile. He grabbed it and opened the soda and took a sip from it, as Dipper and Mabel grabbed and opened theirs.
Patrick and the twins just spent the next few minutes looking out at the sunset.
AN: Hope all of you had a happy New Year and I hope you all liked the ninth chapter of "Weirder Things."
You all wanted some more sad ending, so here you go. This was a chapter I've been dying to write. The moment that Robbie asks out Wendy. But this was also the moment Patrick tries his luck and asked out Wendy, and gets his first kiss with her! But then he sacrificed it all for Mabel's happiness. And Dipper kissed Pacifica! Yeah, that's how that pairing was going to kick off. And yes, Pacifica did beat him up, a lot.
Patrick getting his chance with Wendy and then losing her will definitely cause him some grief, and I know that many of you wanted for the two to be together. But as an author, I know that with this happening and with him getting past this heartbreak, Patrick will emerge stronger than he was before.
Now, many of you have been asking for Patrick to get a different weapon, so he got himself a double-barrel laser gun from the future. This was inspired by Mad Max and his iconic shotgun.
Do this mean that the crowbar is being replaced. That is a big HELL NO! That crowbar of his is not only going to remain his primary weapon, but it's also sort of his iconic weapon too. When you think of characters like Indiana Jones and his iconic weapon, you don't think of the many guns he's used, you think of his whip. The crowbar for Patrick is a representation of his ability to adapt. One moment it's a tool for him to use and then the next it's a weapon to defend and attack.
He'll keep the laser gun, but he'll only have it at the house and only in an emergency. Plus, I highly doubt he'll be able to carry it around freely.
Also, I know that Veronica and Ford were living in the Shack in that one scene, but I just want to make something clear to everyone: Veronica and Ford are COUSINS, just like she's cousins with Stan. They are not dating, or lovers, and you think that's the case, then you're wrong. It's bad to think that there's insect pairs (Pinesect) in the Gravity Falls fandom, which by the way is just sickening and twisted, and I don't want anyone thinking that Veronica and Ford are in an insect relationship.
Seriously, who's the mother #$ that came up with that shit?!
However, the real question is; what was she doing with Ford?
If you've been paying attention to the story, then you'll know that I've made more than one reference to Regular Show. Heck, the ending of this chapter was inspired by the ending of Steak Me Amadeus. If you're a fan of that show, then BOY are you going to love the next chapter.
And another thing, I've put up a Poll for your favorite OC character from my seven stories. It's nothing really important, it's mostly just for fun.
Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things" will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story, and if you want me to keep writing this story, then please leave a REVIEW. I would really appreciate it if you do. If you any questions or discussions you'd have for me, then please PM me or write it out in the review.
Thank you for reading, may God bless you, and farewell.
