There Is No Love Without Pain
Chapter 9
Grapenut01 – Mrs. Lovett/ Lucy Barker
BellatrixBlackLovett – Benjamin Barker/ Dr. Stevens
Nellie woke up in the middle of the night feeling some pain in her back and frowned pullng the covers back gasping seeing the wetness soaking into the bed sheets. Her water had broken, she started to panic and moved out of bed to hopefully get some help from the barkers upstairs. She held her stomach waddling towards the door when she felt another sharp pain crying out in pain nearly collapsing onto the floor from the suddeness and amount of the pain.
Benjamin's eyes flew open hearing a sudden scream of pain. Throwing off his covers and opening the door he saw the pie maker gasping on the floor clutching her belly ''Nellie, whats the matter?'' he frowned and moved towards her. His mouth dropped seeing that her clothes were soaked and blood was dripping onto his stairs. Grabbing her he scooped her into his arms and carried her into the pie shop, placing her into a booth ''What do I do...'' he muttered to himself before running into her bedroom grabbing several blankets and a new robe for to change into afterwards ''...easy now, pet. Your going to alright.. hush!''.
She shook her head screaming louder gripping the table tight with one hand and the booth itself with the other panting heavily. "Don' you bloody tell me t'hu-ush!" she yelled screaming again as another contraction ripped through her.
He hated seeing her in so much pain, tears filled his eyes. He was scared and worried, not knowing what to do. He held her hand tight and held her close ''I'm here Nellie...'' he said as he rocked her back and forth in his arms ''...just keep breathing!''. He pulled away and ran his hands over her legs, pushing them apart. He groaned seeing blood pour from her, seeing her flesh rip. ''Nellie..'' he cried ''..what do I do?'' he let his hands run up the inner of her thigh and felt her fold, feeling them flich at his touch.
She screamed louder panting and shaking her head. "Don' you bloody touch me! All yer bloody faul' m'like this!" She yelled as the contractions came faster, lasted longer and grew harder. A few hours later she'd finally given birth to a very little baby girl.
Letting the baby slide into his hands he frowned, it was tiny too tiny. Looking up he passed Nellie her newborn child and frowned ''How is it my fault? Its Tom's, you said so!'' he reached in and stroked the baby girls cheek ''If you think I'm going to leave you I'm not..I'm here for you.''
She collapsed back in the booth panting shaking holding onto the little baby as she cried. She smiled some and kissed her head before collapsing completely in the booth passed out and exhausted from the labor.
''Nellie!'' he cried shaking her limp body ''what do you mean it's my fault!?'' he sighed when she didn't answer him. He carefully picked her and the baby up taking her to the bed and laying her down and wrapping them both up in blankets. He'd ask her again when she woke up. Rubbing his face he settled down into a nearby chair, he'd stay with her for tonight, and slowly fell asleep.
She woke up in the morning, groaning softly and smiling seeing the little baby curled up close to her she picked her up and smiled. "Ben? Ben, wake up." she murmured softly, her voice strained from giving birth.
His eyes snapped open at the sound of her voice. He streched and rubbed his back, he'd slept uncomfortably that night in the chair. He smilied seeing the litte girl in Nellie's arms. He hadn't forgot to ask her, he needed to know what she'd ment by her outbrust ''Morning, pet..'' he yawned reaching out to hold her hip ''...and morning litte one''.
"Could ya bring me a we' cloth an' a towel love? She needs cleanin' off." she said sitting up with some difficulty and holding her closer, almost unable to believe she could finally hold the beautiful little baby.
Nodding he left the room quickly before returning to her with what she'd asked for. He sat on the bed next to Nellie watching her clean the baby girl with such care and affection. Kissing her cheek her asked her ''Nellie, what did you mean last night? By it being my fault..'' he smiled as the inocent baby gurled and giggled as Nellie rubbed at his face.
She smiled down at her washing over the light red tiny curls gently and frowning looking over at him. "Hmm? Oh jus' cause I was tryin t'make ya jealous love." she admitted blushing a bit and wrapping the baby in a fresh blanket nce she was all clean and handed her to him. "Hold her while I change an' clean myself off." she murmured getting out of the bed wincing and cleaning herself up pulling on a fresh night dress and climbing back into bed reaching for her.
''Jealous...right. Well you done a good job of it'' he murmured feeling hurt. He turned his head to look down at the tiny baby girl in his arms, and tiny she was. She'd taken on Nellie's red hair and dandy nose but her eyes were different, like his. Gasping he stood up as Nellie tried to take her baby back ''No!'' he screamed backing away with the baby ''No! Tell me the truth Nellie, tell me!''.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head before glaring at him since he wouldn't give her back. "You give me my baby Benjamin. She isn' yers an' ya can' change tha' by keepin' her away. An' I swear if ya don' han' her over yer gonna regre' i'. Ya can' keep my child from me. No ma'er wha' ya think."
Shaking his head he fell to the floor ''I-I just..'' he sobbed harder letting tears fall onto the floor ''...I'm sorry!'' he wheezed passing Nellie her baby back. Standing up he backed further away before he reached the door. Cupping his mouth before the vomit flew out he ran from her room into the pie shop. Gagging and gasping he fell onto his hands and knees, sobbing and begging. He wanted to be away from this place, he wished he couldn't feel this pain.
She sighed some biting her lip and holding her little girl close and kissing her head before pulling her nightdress down and feeding her attempting to ignore the sobbing and other noises he was making out there.
Coughing and gagging he threw up his stomachs content onto the floor ''Nellie..help me, please!'' he was becoming weak, his vision becoming blurry and blotched. His chest fell the to the floor, making him bring up more mess, tears streamed down his face. He was becoming weak, too weak. He tried to call for her agian and agian yet no sound came out. Suddenly he gasped, his eyes rolled backwards and his collapsed onto the floor making no more sound.
She sighed hearing no more noise and figured he'd finally gone up too hs wife and held the baby closer continuing to feed her completely unaware.
Lucy frowned when she woke up alone, she checked on Johanna and changed into a dress and headed down to see if he was helping Nellie, figuring all the screaming she'd heard meant she was now a mother too. She gasped walking into the pie shop seeing her husband collapsed on the pie shop floor beside his own vomit. She quickly went over and sat him up. "Benny? Please Ben wake up."
He heard Lucy scream to him and yet he didn't want her. His mind called for Nellie, his pet though his body didn't want to wake. His body had given up. No more pain, no more suffering. He dreamt. He was flying to his Nellie, holding her in his arms and never letting her leave. Nellie. He needed her, so much.
Nellie frowned some hearing Lucy screaming at Benjamin and got up groaning softly and wrapped the baby up, fixed her night dress and headed out shaking some still fairly weak from giving birth. She tutted at the mess and glanced at him before filling up a bucket with water, going over and pouring it on him. "Wake up Ben."
He felt the cold water hit is face his eyes flew open as he brought up more vomit. He patted, his head spinning and arms shaking. He clung to the table for support but it collapsed under his grip. He screamed as his chest hit the floor causing his to bring up blood ''I-I can't'' he sobbed, letting his hand secretly hold onto Nellie's dress.
Lucy backed away starting to cry before running out to get doctor. Nellie sighed more and nudged him gently. "Knock i' off Ben. Yer wife needs ya. Yer scarin' the bloody hell outta her."
''Nellie...'' he groaned forcing himself onto his back ''...I didn't .. I can't'' he gagging has he turned his head letting blood spill from his mouth. He let his head fall backwards, feeling so weak ''What you going to call her darling Nellie?'' he asked, a silent tear leaking from his eye, taking Nellie's hand in his.
She sighed and shook her head going back to her room and laying the baby down carefully going back out and lifting him moving I'm to the booth and handing him a bowl. "Ya ge' sick in there an' no' all over my shop ya hear? An' i' doesn' ma'er wha' m'gonna call her. Ya jus' stay alrigh' till yer Lucy comes on back with the doctor."
Groaning he pushed himself from the booth ''I don't want a doctor!'' he said whining ''I'm fine!'' he swayed pulling himself to his feet. His mind danced around him, making him feel sick. He sobbed as Nellie went to grab him ''No!'' he cried into her shoulder ''Nellie..my Nellie''. Finally he shook his head, pushing away from her ''I don't want a doctor!'' he repeated before crashing out of the pie shop and stumbling up the stairs to his bed.
Lucy came running back in crying hysterically dragging the doctor with her. "Where's my husband?!"
"Relax yerself love, he's taken himself upstairs. Qui'e delusinal he is." she murmured cleaning up the mess he'd made.
Collapsing into his bed he threw up more blood, whimpering for his darling Nellie. He heard a cry as Lucy grabbed him into her arms shaking him screaming at someone who'd come into the room with another man. Groaning he felt a cold pair of hands open his eye, looking into his mouth and cleaning the vomit that was thrown across his mouth.
''He's weak'' said this man, a doctor. Dr. Stevens ''From what I can see he's been under pressure, his mind on overload'' the doctor tutted as he poured some liquid into Ben's mouth causing the poor man to throw it all back up ''Do you know what has caused this?'' he asked turning to Lucy.
She frowned worriedly stroking his hair holding him closer. "No, nothing that I can think of sir. We did just have a baby though. Nearly a year old now. And our landlady just gave birth yesterday. He helped her. She's out of wedlock you see..." she trailed off shaking her head. "We don't approve of it but Ben's a darling and wanted to help her''.
The doctor shook his head, murmuring ''This is worse than I thought..'' he turned his head to Lucy ''..a baby? Well yes that might add to his burden but there is something more''. He dived his hands into his bag, pulling out little glasses of liquid as he did, he passed some to Lucy ''Make sure he had these every few hours, if you not in get your land lady to give him it''. He turned to pack his bag before sighing ''Mrs. Barker, your husband's weak, he's treading on thin ice. If I were you I'd get all the help I could. Good day'' and with that he tipped his hat and walked out of the room''.
She took the glasses from him confused by it all and stared after him just holding the bottles unsure what to say or do. "Just stay here Benny. I'll be back in a moment." she said kissing his head and picking up Johanna going downstairs. "Mrs. Lovett! You'll have to watch Johanna until Benny gets better. He can't have her around." she said dumping the child on the bed beside her and leavings shutting the door behind her and going back up to tend to her husband.
Pain like he'd never felt before smashed into his body. He screamed and cried. He wanted to get up, to run away to his cave, with Nellie. Lucy woke up next to him crying, trying to push him down onto the bed yet he pushed her aside stumbling out the room, pulling himself down the stairs before collapsing into the pie shops from door. He screamed louder and harder ''Nellie!'' he sobbed leaning his head against the door ''Nellie...'' his eyes were rolling back up into his head. Nellie. Nellie. His Nellie.
Lucy bit her lip crying and grabbed a glass of the medicine following him down and pulling him to her making him swallow it. "You have to get better Benny." she whispered softly holding him close.
He gagged as the silky liquid fell down his neck. He didn't want to go better. He didn't need to, as long as his Nellie was close ''I don't need a doctor!'' he moaned as his mind ran away with him. He pushed Lucy aside and fell into the pie shop ''I don't want a doctor! I want...I want..'' he held his breath before he dare say it, he knew Mrs. Lovett was listening from her room ''I want, to die'' he sobbed falling to the floor as another wave of pain flew over him.
She cried more following in after him. "Don't say that Benny. You don't know what you're saying my love. You're sick. I have to get you better. Now come away from there. You're going to wake up Johanna."
''Johanna?'' he croaked at his wife. Without another word he pushed past her and ran into Mrs. Lovett's room, not caring if he woke her, he turned to see his daughter cooing in her coat. Smiling and sniffing he ran to her, throwing her into his arms hold her tight to him before he let his back slide down the wall crying into his daughter's shoulder ''I'm so sorry'' he whispered to his daughter ''What has daddy done? Look what I've done..''.
Nellie jumped a bit, startled from where she's been sleeping with her own child and pulled her closer sitting up frowning. "Mr. Barker? Wha' the bloody hell do ya think yer doin'?"
''Don't you talk to him that way. And don't use such filthy language in front of our daughter. She's not common like yours. She deserves better." Lucy sneered at her going over to her husband. "Benny? C'mon. Let's get you up to bed my dear."
''Don't speak to her like that!'' snarled Ben pulling away from his wife, holding his daughter closer ''Not in front of me, don't you dare!'' he whimpered, not knowing what to do. He looked down at his daughter who gurgled and giggled in his arms ''I'm sleeping in the cellar'' he said his body shaking ''I can't do this at the moment''. He looked at Nellie pleadingly before putting Johanna back into her cot and pushing his body forward to the cellar.
She stared in shock after him and moved to follow but sighed letting him go snapping her eyes up to Nellie. "This is all your fault. You witch. What have you done to my husband?!" she yelled picking up Johanna moving for the door. "I hope your little brat dies." she spat at her slamming the door behind her going upstairs with Johanna.
Nellie sighed shaking her head and held her baby closer, who was still sleeping peacefully. She kissed her head and got up, scooping her into her arms and headed down after Ben. "You can' live down here ya know." she murmured rocking the baby.
''What is there to live for Nellie? I've lost everything'' he said letting his back slide down the wall. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He smiled to see the little baby in Nellie's arm ''See, you're doing a great job. Better than Lucy anyway.'' He turned his face from her, he wanted to kiss her so badly, hold her so badly that it almost killed him ''don't listen to what she says, she's a bitch sometimes...most of the time''.
"You have a beau'iful li'le girl t'live for love. She needs ya more than ya think. She won' turn ou' well with jus' Lucy lookin' after her. Ya know tha' darlin'." She said wincing some and holding the baby close as she sat down beside him patting his leg. "Face i' love. Yer the bes' thin' tha' li'le girl has in her life."
''And what about you, Nellie?'' he asked leaning in close so their lips touched ''because as I see it, my beautiful little girls are sitting right next to me'' he sighed as he kissed her red lips, he hadn't tasted them in months. How he had missed them. He pulled away and stroked her daughter's head ''So then, what's her name?'' he asked pulling her close to him.
"She's no' yers Ben." she murmured softly shaking her head kissing him back. "Viole'. Her name's Viole'." she said looking back down at her.
''Violet, I like it'' he smiled looking at the tiny bundle in Nellie's arms. He frowned ''I never said she was mine, Nellie. I just want to be here for you both. I want to be the dad to her that Tom was suppose to be, the bastard!'' He sighed before kissing Nellie again, he hand trailing up her face. He groaned ''I-I need you Nellie..badly!'' his body shook from a mixture of lust and medicine. He wanted her, now.
She sighed some shaking her head and kissing him back pushing his hands away. "I can' Ben. I jus' had a baby. I li'erally can' love. Ya have t'wai' like a couple months."
He kissed her neck ''You have a spell over me, Nellie. I'm yours forever and always'' He pulled back and returned his gaze to Violet, those eyes. He sighed and moved his body so he lay on the damp, cold stone floor ''Guess I should be getting to sleep. I love you Nellie..and you Violet, your daddy was one silly man''.
''I don't want her Nellie, I want you. You got my heart and soul'' He sighed and shrugged her off before laying back onto the floor. He shut his eyes tight trying to not let the tears fall from them. He reached his hand round and took Nellie's hand in his ''I love you'' he murmured letting his eyelids go heavy.
She sighed shaking her head and smiled some looking back over at him. "I love ya too." she whispered softly, kissing his hand before tugging him over to her instead and laying his head in her lap, stroking his hair.
The same dream hit him as hard as the pain. Nellie running from him, he couldn't reach her till she died in his arms. Screaming he woke up. ''Nellie!'' he sobbed pulling at his hair ''don't die, no, Nellie!'' He screamed louder his body shaking and flinching. He just wanted her.
She flinched some waking up and holding Violet closer frowning and lying her hand on his shoulder. "Hush love, yer fine. Everythin's alrigh'. Jus' a bad dream. "
Gasping his eyes flew open. It was just a dream; he could hear her calling in his ear. He clung to her dress, sobbing ''I lost you again, Nellie! I haven't dreamt like that in ages, I lost you''.
She sighed softly shaking her head stroking his head. "Hush. There's nuthin' t'worry bou' darlin' m'here. No' movin' or goin' anywhere."
Lifting himself from the floor he groaned ''That floor doesn't half hurt, I miss curling up with you in bed'' he brushed away his tears and smoothed down his clothing. He leant in and kissed Violets cheek before kissing up Nellie's jaw line, moving down to her collar bone ''Morning, pet'' he murmured pulling back to stretch his back.
She nodded some and smiled turning and catching his lips briefly before he pulled and sighed softly. "Mornin' Ben." she said softly smiling down noticing Violet was awake and tugging at her dress hungrily, whining some. She smiled and just pulled her night dress down and started feeding her there on the floor.
His eyes went to her breasts. Unlike Lucy's they hadn't lost their shape, if anything they gotten bigger. He wanted them badly, he could pass by sex, but he missed the pale white skin against his flesh. Yawning he looked down a Violet ''Lucky kid'' he said laughing. He'd love to see her grow up and become a woman ''She looks like you. Yet, she has different eyes'' he pointed out with a slight hiss in his voice.
She chuckled some shaking her head "Hush up you. She's hungry. An' thank ya.... she had my mother's eyes." she murmured looking back down at her. She knew the truth deep down. Maybe it was just a feeling. She wanted him as badly as he wanted her.
I'm so tired! Gah its 1.50am and I have to get to school by 8am! I'm afraid that we will not be able to post chapters daily anymore as I'm back to school and Amy has studies (not to mention I need to catch up on some rest xD) Just to let you know, Amy eats sausages in a pervy way :P
Click on that button and type away :) x
