A/N: I'm back! Did you miss me? I know you did. Who else would give you such tasty little drape trash morsels? (I kid.) This chapter just didn't want to be written. You should see some of the rough drafts I have. They were downright shameful. I will try to put myself back on a regular updating interval but I cannot make any promises. Don't kill me, okay?
Chapter 9: We Did a Bad Bad Thing
2 weeks later...
The air was getting colder. It never took long. Warmth was a fleeting thing in Ohio. The seasons were changing and so were the people. The students involved in the new music and dance program were taking to it well. The instructors were happy and Shelby was settling in nicely as head of the newly formed department. It had been decided shortly after seeing the turn out that the department needed to be divided into three sections with several department heads that met and made large decisions together. Shelby was still the final say but where she was the president these departments had governors. Shelby wasn't afraid to admit she didn't have all the answers. She knew this program would be more error than trial. That's what this year would be about seeing what worked and learning along the way.
It didn't go without notice that Rachel and her sidekick Kurt were much calmer. Everyone knew the little cobras were just biding their time until they could strike. Rachel was nothing if not smart. She liked to take down her opposers at once. She also knew the best laid plans were the best executed.
Shortly after auditions Kurt and Blaine tried to make it work. They lasted only a few days when Blaine announced rather loudly during lunch that he was no longer interested in the 'prissy bitch' and would be dedicating his school year to making friends and maybe even experimenting with his new found attraction to women in the form of bisexuality. When Kurt very publicly and humiliating asked him to stay Blaine replied by telling him he'd never really been dating him all this time. His true love affair had always been with Rachel. He even encouraged the boy to try it. He might find he liked a girl with boy hips. That's how he found himself on Mercedes doorstep begging for her forgiveness and a chance to prove what a good friend he could be. Mercedes was nothing if not kind. He was accepted readily and without thought. He was the kind of addition to their group that brought life. Without Kurt's controlling hand they all saw what a kind soul Blaine was. He was by no means a shrinking violet the boy readily and often times heatedly defended himself or any of his new found friends. He was also okay with using his fists to make a point.
Artemis Ronald Abrams knew how to make an entrance. After three new schools, and several detention centers he learned it was important. The right entrance determined your standing. It decided if you were predator or prey. He learned this after getting his ass kicked at age 14 by a burly boy with a nasty left hook and an even worse under bite.
This among many other things were the same in high school and juvie. There was a time honored hierarchy that mirrored each other in those places. He learned he had to roll through those halls as if he owned the place or the predators would eat him alive. The right entrance was all about preparation and execution. He always made sure to survey the lay of his new land before the inmates arrived. Unlike jail he could roam the halls of McKinley High freely. He made it his mission to know where the ramps, exits and elevators of his new minimal security prison were before the inmates filed in for a day of brainwashing or as his mother and aunt referred to it 'education'. He scoffed at the word as he hummed pushing himself down the widened halls. The only noise was the sound of his wheels on the newly waxed linoleum floors.
Artie knew why he was here instead of his beloved New York. Despite the many accusations when he got into trouble he wasn't an idiot. Shortly after his release his mother sat down and had a frank discussion with him about his future. He was the last of her babies and she wanted him to have a fighting chance after being behind bars for the last two years. She wanted him away from the life they lead and the trouble that naturally came from it. While going to prison at the age of eighteen was normal for men in their Italian/American family Francesca Abrams didn't want that for the last of her boys. She wanted him to have a life devoid of ponzie schemes, dummy business', and money laundering. That's when the plan was made to send him away. She made it clear with a firm kiss to his cheek that this wasn't a punishment, it was a gateway to a chance. A fighting chance at a normal life. As he sat for the last three weeks rotting away in middle America Ohio Artie decided his mother was not only the best mother a delinquent could ask for but also the strongest woman to live.
He'd made five trips to juvenile detention in the last ten years. He'd been warned on the last trip that since he was so close to eighteen he'd be tried as an adult the next time and sent to maximum security prison where he'd spend at least ten to twenty years. Artie may have been a bad ass but he wasn't a dumb ass. Prison wasn't a place he wanted to get acquainted with. From what he heard from his uncles that did time he'd end up as a tasty little treat for some even bigger and dumber animal. His little tricks to avoid trouble in the 'little house' wouldn't work so well in the 'big house'. So it was Ohio or a trip to prison the next time he decided to car jack some jerk in a Cadillac or beat some kid into submission that pissed him off. It didn't take much time to decide that Ohio was the place for him.
His aunt Shelby and grandparents were kind enough to open their home to him. They made it clear he'd have to get a job and pull his weight even though the family was wealthy they wouldn't tolerate a 'slug-a-bed'. He would have to make his own way in this world honestly. He'd been in Ohio for over three weeks. In that time he'd found a job at a small barbecue joint that didn't care about his inability to walk. As long as he didn't spill the food on the way to the customers table. The owner was a surly woman with blonde hair and a bad attitude. She also happened to be the principal of the local high school. Sue Sylvester was her name and she was known in three states for the best food in town. She may have been a mean old broad but she and her wife Shannon could sling the best pulled pork and cole slaw to ever exist. One taste and Artie knew he'd never doubt a word that came out of her mouth. He now even believed her when she said she'd had an affair with Elvis.
The conditions of his employment were simple (at least to her). Maintain a 3.5 GPA consistently, join a club, turn in all homework, don't spill the food, and stay out of trouble. If he agreed to those small terms Sue guaranteed he'd make enough money in one weekend to sustain him for an entire week and enough to open a savings account. Artie only rolled his eyes but nodded. He could agree to those terms. Money and freedom would have to be enough to keep him out of trouble.
Artie rolled into the office to get his locker assignment and class schedule as students began filing in. He shot his best winning smile at a tall dark skinned woman old enough to be his mother.
"Good morning beautiful. I'm Artemis Abrams here to grab my class schedule." he said with a grin as he pushed his thick glasses up on his nose.
"That's Mrs. Washington-Jones to you Milton. Unless you plan on joining the swim team I doubt I'll be seeing you around. I'll get your guidance counselor. I heard about you boy. Keep your nose clean. We already got one delinquent in here we don't need no more. Hear?" She asked turning on her heel and heading for the back of the office. He heard the woman shout and a short red head with eyes too big for her head replaced the tall drink of water. He quickly wished she'd come back.
"Hello Mr. Abrams my name is Miss Pillsbury." The little redhead said with a voice and mouth that sounded like it was full of spit. Artie didn't like her. "Please come with me. There are a few things I need to discuss with you before we integrate you." She said primly.
Artie got a bad feeling when the word integrate was used. This woman was not going to be an ally. He had the feeling she was anything but. He rolled his eyes once again and rolled towards the woman following her to a small office. After taking a seat she folded her hands on her desk.
"I see here you attended Dalton Academy, South Ridge School for the Gifted, and Scottsdale Conservatory before you began your little life of crime." she said focusing her gigantic eyes on Artie as if expecting an answer. Artie shrunk back and tried to keep from laughing. The boy knew what intimidation looked like and this woman was on the opposite end of the spectrum. Sue Sylvester and her wife were intimidating, his mother, grandma, and aunt were all pants wetting scary this woman was just going to be an annoying pain in his ass. Taking a deep breath he opened his mouth to answer her.
"Yes, I attended all of those places in between my times of incarceration." He said and then pursed his lips.
"I see here you maintained a 4.0 GPA behind bars as well. How does a delinquent with a rap sheet longer than Moses' beard manage to do that?" she asked pinning him (or at least trying to) with a stare again.
"Luck?" he asked with a shrug of his shoulders. "Miss Pop-n-Fresh I really don't want any trouble here. I'm here to get an education, go to college, and start a new life for myself. If you're done asking me questions about stupid things I'd really like to take my schedule and locker assignment and go." He said as he crossed his arms. Artie didn't like being questioned any more than he liked the red head who took up his valuable honey watching time.
"Mr. Abrams I suggest you play nicely with me. If you don't I'll make sure the appropriate authorities are notified of your lack of cooperation and disrespect. Now if you'll wait outside of my office I've arranged for a guide to show you around school. Happy learning!" She said dismissing him with false enthusiasm. "Oh, and Artie you will be reporting to me weekly for counseling. I expect to see you every Friday at 11:45 sharp. If you're not here that will be considered a violation of your parole. Ta!" She said turning her back to him.
Artie rolled his eyes as he rolled towards the door. What greeted him was another big eyed girl in the ugliest sweater he'd ever seen. Artie tilted his head to the side trying to decide if the thing was a unicorn or a monkey on a carousel. Either way that shit was ugly and she looked like a bird. If all the girls in this god forsaken school looked like her he'd take his chances behind bars.
" Hello Artemis, my name is Rachel Berry and I'll be showing you around today. I'll make this tour not only fun but highly educational. Miss Pillsbury tells me you're quite the brainiac, and very musically gifted. It's too bad you can't participate in the newly formed glee club. I'm sure you would have been a great backup to my vocals." After two minutes of her incessant babbling Artie tuned out the stream of consciousness that was her speech.
Somewhere between first period and lunch he was introduced to a tall gangly mess of a kid named Finn as her boyfriend. He was also introduced to a prissy little thing with more sass than Liberace named Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. Who he also learned was Rachel's best friend and partner in crime. Something that was lost on Artie given her terrible sense of style. Artie wasn't interested in any of these people and on the way to lunch he made it very well known.
"Well its been nice knowing you all, well not really, but I have to be going. I'm on a mission to find people of substance that care about real music, and having a real good time. Tootles bitches. Peace!" He yelled as he rolled towards the lunch room. The first half of the day had been enlightening. He learned exactly who he didn't want to associate with.
Artie was lured by the sound of harmony towards a large music room. There he found salvation in 2 bubbly blondes, a chocolate goddess, and a sassy Latina. He watched from the doorway as they seemed to try to mash up the Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy and Candyman. Normally that would make his ears bleed as he found any music made after 1960 to be an affront to his ears but these girls had soul. He watched the entire thing in awe and it seemed he wasn't alone. In the far corner sat two boys in leather jackets and one was oddly familiar. He bit his lip to keep from yelling the teens name. He knew everything happened for a reason. His best friend and favorite cell-mate was here in Ohio!
"Sam Cry-Baby Evans!" he yelled as the girls finished their mash up "What the fuck are you doing in Ohio?" Artie asked as he rolled into the classroom. Sam turned to face the door and Artie knew that look was one of joy and confusion. He'd worn it many times himself when surprised.
"Artie Abrams?! When did they let you out into the free world you crazy ass?" Sam asked as he leapt to his feet and ran across the room to hug the boy. They hadn't seen each-other in years and lost contact after Artie was transferred to a solitary cell where he wasn't allowed phone calls or mail. Sam didn't know where to find the boy. He was always Being moved from one facility to another.
"Mom decided this was the best place for me. She said I didn't need to be around any of my family anymore. I'm close to eighteen and if I get into trouble again that's any automatic ten to twenty years and no chance of getting that shit sealed. No thanks man, I'm too smart to be a felon." Artie said as he rolled his eyes and then went on alert. He noticed he was being stared down by a group of teenagers that looked like they had some idea if what was going on but not the full story.
"Gang, this is a good friend and my old cell mate Artie. Artie this is the gang." He said as he took turns introducing each of the group members. They all shook hands or in the girls cases gave hugs. He introduced Mercedes last. Sam took her hand and smiled.
"This one right here is my little Peach. Artie I'd like you to meet Miss Mercedes Jones, my girl." Sam said with a slight tinge of pink to his cheeks. He was never one for overly showy displays of affection for the girl in public. She wasn't the type to be smothered or coddled. After being with Finn for so long the idea of being fawned over and handled like glass left her feeling sick. Sam knew how she felt about him and vice versa, that was good enough for the both of them. Still, there was something liberating about introducing her as his girl.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Artie." Mercedes smile was genuine as she leaned over to hug him. Artie eyes rolled into the back of his head in ecstasy this woman had curves to die for. Normally Artie liked a petite slim thing or a runners build but this girl was an exception to all his rules. If this wasn't Sam's girl he'd definitely have a two hand grab all on her booty.
"Well Miss Songbird aren't you the prettiest thing this delinquent has seen in a long time. Sam deserves some beauty in his life after the hell he went through. Maybe I'll get lucky with that fine tall drink of water in the office." Artie said wistfully as he pushed his thick Buddy Holly frames onto his nose. Mercedes only snorted in response.
"That woman will snap you in two. If she doesn't her husband will and if he doesn't I will." The shorter girl said with a hint of menace as she stood up straight adjusting the dress she wore. It was nothing new to hear comments about her mother from fellow students. The swim team often saw the attractive older woman in little more than a bathing suit during practice.
"Damn honey dip! You're a little feisty about Mrs. Washington-Jones." As he said her last name it occurred to him. That was her momma. Artie laughed until he cried.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to fornicate with your momma in my mind during first period!" The laughter continued until he began wiping his eyes. Mercedes only rolled hers. He'd heard stories about Artie and knew he had a knack for inappropriate jokes and I'll timed humor.
"Come on Artie don't talk about her moms ass like that! I mean it's perfect but, leave her booty alone dude." Sam said as Mercedes whacked him in the arm.
"When did you look at my moms ass?" Mercedes screeched as he heard giggled behind them. The crew loved to see Mercy check Cry-Baby.
"Every chance he gets." Puck muttered before hiding behind Quinn who only glared at him. He knew better, he was on his own against the petite drape.
"Well you can keep staring at her ass. Because you won't be staring at mine." The girl sassed before leaving the room. Sam knew she was only joking but he had the urge to run after her. He hated to see her go and loved watching her leave. Artie watched the mock drama. He knew this is where he belonged. "Ladies, you coming?" Mercedes asked. Lunch was half over and it was burgers, pizza, and tots day. If they didn't get there soon there wouldn't be anything left. The girl tossed her hair over her shoulder before making an exit that made Sam's mouth water. Mercedes didn't play fair. He knew she put an extra wiggle in her shake just to make him drool.
"I think the boys need to work on their mash up for class today anyway. Isn't that right?" Sam could only nod. The girls fell in line beside her quickly.
Sam was amazed at how the girls had taken to his new main squeeze. He expected sass and attitude but they fell in love with her almost as quickly he he was start to. It didn't take a genius to realize Mercedes was special and Finn was an idiot. All it took was a little encouragement to see the girl come out of her shell. The male population of McKinley High were all in agreement Santana, Brittany, Quinn, and Mercedes formed the undeniable quad of hotness.
"Alright boys lets get to work. If we can get through this mash up maybe the girls will be nice enough to bring lunch back for us." Sam clapped is hands as they got into formation. Artie watched from the corner bobbing his head as the boys began their mash up of Good Golly Ms. Molly and Hey-Ya which made very good use of Puck's seldom used rap skills and even some of Blaine's little known dance moves.
"While that was catchy, what the hell was that?" Artie asked as he wheeled over to the panting and slightly sweaty boys. He took a deep breath as he smoothed the sides of his Murray's slick hair.
"Our mash up for class?" Blaine said stepping forward for the first time. He didn't easily welcome criticism from strangers.
"No, that was booty. What the girls had was a mash up. This is booty. Booty I say!" Artie said coming toe to wheel with Blaine and looking up. It didn't take Artie long to notice the boy had gorgeous eyes. Artie wasn't ashamed to admit he liked both sides of his bread buttered.
"Well Mr. Abrams please enlighten us as to what a real mash up is?" Blaine asked sarcastically as he crossed his arms. Artie would have been blind not to notice the way his muscles made an impressive swell under his fitted plaid shirt. If he happened to lick his lips in appreciation no one said a word.
It took two hours and more than one run through but Artie helped them perfect a new arrangement using Moves Like Jagger and Jumping Jack Flash. They all admitted it wasn't their style but it worked and they were great. They all had Artie to thank for it. No one said anything as they left the room leaving Blaine and Artie alone, no one said anything as the two exchanged numbers.
A/N: I've been toying around with the idea of Artie as a happily bisexual guy for quite a while. I think it would work, opinions? Do you want to see more Blartie? Do you want to see Artie with someone else? What do you think of the chapter? Love it? Hate it? Want to take it out to dinner and a movie? Leave me your praise and constructive criticism.
