Requested by: Manu259
Current Client: Cú Chulainn
Irisviel: Angry man walking toward me with a spear. ANGRY MAN WALKING TOWARD ME WITH A SPEAR.
Cú Chulainn: Hey, lady, I need some help.
Irisivel: I SWEAR I DIDN'T – wait, what? Uh, yeah, sure! I can help. What seems to be the problem?
Cú Chulainn: I keep dying.
Irisviel: You aren't human!
Cú Chulainn: What?
Irisviel: I'm sorry, I just felt like saying that. Ahem. Do expand.
Cú Chulainn: There's nothing to expand on! In all three routes of Fate/Stay Night I die a horrible death, and I want to live!
Irisviel: Almost everyone dies in Fate/Stay Night. It's just that kind of story. I die horribly in my own story, too.
Cú Chulainn: I could at least last a little longer! I'm the disposable character! I'm the laughingstock!
Irisviel: Oh my.
Cú Chulainn: AND THEN people have the nerve to complain that I'm too hard to kill in Fate/Grand Order! WELL EXCUSE ME FOR WANTING TO SURVIVE!
Irisviel:...
Cú Chulainn: Lady? Why are you hiding under your desk?
Irisviel: You're kind of scary, you know.
Cú Chulainn: Thank you. So what can you do for me?
Irisviel: D-do for you?
Cú Chulainn: About the whole dying thing?
Irisviel: H-hey, I'm not in charge of who dies or anything. How am I supposed to keep you from dying? Heck, how are you even here? Most people stay down after they've died, even if they've only died once.
Cú Chulainn: Go on. Say it. I dare you to.
Irisviel: People die when they are –
Cú Chulainn: You're useless. I'll just find a way to survive on my own.
Irisviel: Good luck with that. Wait, on second thought, maybe that's not the best goodbye wish...
