By the time I woke up, every memory of every second of last night came rushing back to me in a deep suffocating wave. At first, all I remembered were the good memories that left me in bliss. Me and Miley's casual talks, so close to telling her how I really felt, and that soft kiss she had given me before entering the clinic… But of course, the bad slammed into me like a truck of painful realization.
I had slept with Miley Ray Stewart.
Okay. Maybe not the way you guys are thinking. Not the way I wished… Oh god. Did I really just say that? Wait… I mean… Ugh. Never mind. I mean technically, we didn't do anything we weren't supposed to, so why was my face burning up like a freaking wildfire and why the hell was my heart doing crazy flips and all that gymnastic stuff in my chest? I turned around slowly, expecting… and slightly anticipating to see Miley Stewart sleeping peacefully next to me in all her glory. But the spot was empty. Completely empty. The blankets on that side were already even made.
Damn that girl and her need to wake up hours before anyone else. Just for once, I wanted to know what it was like to feel someone right next to me the moment I woke up. To understand that feeling of knowing that you weren't completely alone, no matter what.
She's not yours, I reminded myself angrily. This is temporary.
Groaning, I forced myself out of bed, feeling dread washing over me to the brink of my head. I could already feel myself drowning in my own worry. What if she hadn't wanted me to sleep in the same bed with her? What if I completely misunderstood everything? What if she didn't say STAY at all, but instead just said SANWICH? MAYBE SHE JUST WANTED A DAMN SANDWHICH!
Calm down, Nick…. Calm down. You're losing it…. I repeated those words a few couple hundred times before my breathing got back to normal. But then again, that didn't mean that the worry had disappeared. If anything, it had gotten worse.
I took a great deal amount of time changing and re- changing and then just changing again, trying to look the best I could. I fixed my curls a couple times, but they wouldn't cooperate. I wasn't surprised. They wouldn't for the last 23 years. Why change now? Sighing, I pushed a loose brown curl off my forehead and adjusted the collar of my shirt.
All I knew was that if Miley was going to scream and me and completely reject me right in front of my face, I had to look my absolute best while she was doing it. I had to keep some of my integrity… Oh yeah, and I just wanted to look good for Miley. But pshh. Who needs to know the details? Finally, after a quick swipe of a comb, which honestly didn't do much, I took a deep breath, opened my bedroom door, and prepared to meet my maker.
Well, in this situation, my maker was cooking pancakes.
The fresh aroma of actual cooking going on in my apartment filled my senses the minute I took a step out of my room. Miley was wearing a long apron around her waist. From the faded food stains, I knew it wasn't anything new. She was in the middle of flipping a perfect golden pancake, when she finally turned around and caught me staring at her.
Crap. Here goes nothing.
"Good morning," Miley replied quickly, before I could get down on my knees and beg her to forgive me for being such an idiot. She was smiling chirpily, and I assured myself that she wasn't angry. Maybe even happy? … That I slept in the same bed with her? This girl was confusing me like that game of Monopoly I never learned how to properly play. (All the money and hotels and stuff just pissed me off.)
"Good morning," I greeted hesitantly. I walked over to the kitchen, where the sweet aroma of pancakes and a hint of something else got stronger and stronger. "What are you cooking? It smells different."
A small smile appeared on her lips as she put another pancake on her plate. "You noticed."
"My mom always said I had the best sense of smell she's ever known."
"It must be true, because almost no one notices until they taste it," she smiled, as she took a small piece on a fork and hovered it right above my lips. I bit into the small piece and let the explosion of heaven take over my mouth. My facial expression was probably going wild as Miley started to laugh softly. She picked up another piece and gave it to me. "Go set up the table, while I finish. I'm almost done."
"Set the table? We're already talking like a married couple," I chuckled, then stopped. Remembering what happened last night, and our relationship at the moment was still on shaky ground. No love and marriage jokes. CHECK.
I set it up to the best of my ability, which was pretty much just putting two plates and a fork on the table. Aren't I so talented?
Miley finished the last few batches, and set the finished plate on the table. She was still wearing that apron when she took a seat. "Where did you get that apron?" I asked curiously. It looked so damn familiar.
"Oh this?" Miley looked down at the tattered and stained cloth. "I found it in a box in the back closet. There's a lot of stuff there. I almost tripped from all the boxes," she joked lightly, but I wasn't laughing.
The realization slammed into me like a million of bricks pushing themselves on my chest, and halting every chance of breath I took. Suddenly, the whole room felt like it was suffocating me as I stood up and raced out of the room and stopped in front of the door that hadn't been opened in over 6 years. The lights were shut black, and when I swung open the closed door, pure darkness filled the room… But I could still see the outlined shapes of the cardboard boxes that covered the room from inch to inch. Over half of them had been opened.
I could hear Miley's soft footsteps trailing behind me. I felt tears of frustration pushing through the brink of my eyes, but I held them back, knowing that I couldn't show that kind of weakness in front of Miley. Or anyone.
"Did I do something wrong?" Miley's soft voice whispered.
I placed my head in my hands and shook my head. "Just give me back the apron. Please."
She looked confused, but at the same time, I knew she didn't want to make me any more upset. "I'm sorry," Miley mumbled as she handed me back the worn out apron that still smelled fresh from pancakes. She had no idea. She didn't know why I was so angry. She didn't know why I was on the brink of tears. No one knew. She was apologizing for nothing.
I folded up the apron and placed it on top of an open box. I tried to be careful not to touch anything else as I closed the cardboard lids and stepped away from all the painful memories. Not saying anything else, I shut the door that should have been kept shut forever. Miley was still standing in back of me, but she was so silent, it was almost as if she weren't even breathing. I couldn't meet her eyes for the first time I had known her, and to be completely honest, I didn't want to.
We walked back into the dining room to finish eating the pancakes she had made, but no one said anything the entire meal. Miley didn't touch her food much, but then again, neither did I. By the time I had finished a pancake, I had already lost too much of my appetite to eat anything else. I excused myself, and I knew that Miley wanted so badly to say something to make me stay. She seemed to be at a lost of words as silence escaped her soft pink lips, which were now held in a think stiff line.
Disappointment filling me, I stood up and got ready for work. At least I had a day to calm down without her standing there watching me. I wanted so badly to just be able to break down in front of her and tell her everything; to have just one person who I could tell everything to without that fear of something going wrong. I just wanted that someone, but like Miley, I was too scared to say anything else.
After changing and calming myself down a little, I stepped out of my room ready for work. Miley was cleaning the kitchen. She was nervous. She always cleaned when she was nervous. "Hey," I greeted, trying to at least make her feel a little better. She didn't know, and I didn't want to make her think this was entirely her fault. I just hated her seeing her this upset.
"Hi," she smiled weakly, even though I knew it wasn't a true genuine Miley Stewart smile.
"I'm going to work. I'll be back later."
Miley seemed a little disappointed, but she managed to swipe it off her face instantly. "Oh, right. Well, I have to go back to Joe and Demi's so I can pick up some stuff I left there. I'll see you later then?"
I managed to smile just a little before I left.
"Finally you show up!" Ol' John called out as he saw me approach the small garage. He was still working on that car of his when I got there. "I thought you were dead or something, boy!"
"Look who's talking," I muttered as I threw my stuff on the couch and lay down with my hands over my head.
"What got your tighty whities in a twist?"
Oh god. "Please just stop talking, John. I'm really not in a mood to talk to you right now."
"Boy, you're on the job, you have to talk to me. Was it that sweet Miley girl?"
I sat up grumbling. "Why does everyone think everything that's wrong with me has something to do with Miley?"
Old John chuckled to himself as if that question were the most hilarious question he had ever heard in his 100 years of damn living. "Most probably because she's the only thing you've been talking about for the past week? Everyone knows, boy. Everyone knows."
I threw my hands up exasperated. What the hell was this old guy talking about? "Everyone knows what, John? You're confusing me. Please tell me you've taken your meds again this morning."
John slapped my hands away. "Shut about my meds, boy, and listen to me. Everyone knows how you feel about Miley."
"MILEY?" I asked, my jaw hitting the damn dusty floor of this hell hole of a garage. "What do you mean everyone knows what I feel about Miley?"
Old John patted me on the back like I was about to have a mental break- down in front of him. I pushed his wrinkly hand away and raised an eyebrow. "We all know that you love Miley!"
"I DON'T LOVE MILEY!" I semi- lied.
Old John chuckled and just slapped in the back of my head. Goddamn. People just love doing that to me. "Don't be like that. We all know you do, so just go tell her. Girls like her don't go waltzing into your life every day, Nick. There's only one in every life time, and I don't want to see you lose yours."
I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "I don't know what you're talking about." To be completely honest, it still freaked me out that everyone knew about how I felt about Miley. Not to mention JOHN. This 10000 year old man wrinkling away next to me actually knew how I felt about Miley probably more than I did. Am I the only one who finds this extremely awkward?
"You're going to lose her and you don't even realize it," he shook his head disappointedly. "Remember that day I said you were lost?"
"Yeah?"
"It's worst. You've dug yourself in such a deep hole you can't even find your way out," John explained slowly, before rubbing his oil- stained hands on a rag and going back to work. I replayed his words over and over again, but it just wouldn't make any sense. I hated it when people went all Confucius on my ass. Did they not understand that I didn't get any of it at all?
Sighing, I just took a seat on the couch and counted all the spots in the wall until I lost count. Before I knew it, time swept by and I was forced to go home and talk to Miley. The minute I walked in, it didn't take a genius to know that she wasn't here. Miley Stewart had this thing about her. She was the kind of girl who'd turn all heads when she'd enter a room. She was presence itself. I eventually concluded that she was probably still at Joe and Demi's. Those two could talk forever. Trust me. I owe a lot of past curfews to those two.
I took that moment to think of ways to apologize for her. By now, the frustration subsided and disappointment in myself settled. Finally, I got the perfect idea as I stood up and prepared everything.
By the time Miley got back to my apartment, I was waiting in the kitchen with a spatula and pan in my hand. I stepped out of the kitchen and saw her standing there hesitantly. She raised an amused eyebrow as I walked out with flour all over my cheeks. "What are you doing, Nick?" she asked, a laugh escaping her perfect pink lips.
"I'm cooking… or at least I'm trying to."
Miley dropped her bags on the floor and smirked. "I can see that. Why?"
I dropped the pan and spatula and walked over to her. "Because you've done so much for me."
"Like butt into your life because I was stupid enough to hit my head?" she chuckled, and gave me a curious smirk.
"Yeah. That," I laughed, my smile growing on my face that she wasn't still angry from this morning. "But I also did this to apologize for being so weird this morning."
Miley tucked her hands in her back pockets awkwardly and shrugged. "It was my fault. I shouldn't have been going through your stuff. It was wrong, and I should be the one apologizing."
"Let's just not talk about it anymore then," I smiled as I motioned for her to follow me into the kitchen. Miley's eyes widened as she saw the mess in the kitchen. Let's just say I'm not good at this cooking stuff. I had a few dropped items, a few broken items, and a lot of just things that went absolutely wrong. I'm surprised I didn't burn the whole town down. "Don't say anything. I tried my best."
Miley picked up broken egg shells on the floor and threw them in the trashcan. She was such a neat freak, but I still somehow found that cute. "I'm scared to see your worst."
"Hey. Watch it," I teased. She stepped closer laughing and brought a slender finger to my chin. She took a swift swipe and raised a finger full of frosting to her lips.
"You baked too?"
"Tried," I corrected her quickly. The cake was one of the dropped items.
She laughed again, and just hearing that small sound gave me a sense of security. She walked over to the table where two covered plates were now sitting. She took a seat politely, and I sat down next to her. She still looked in awe, as if I had bought her every restaurant in the damn world instead of failed in making her a home- cooked meal. "I still can't believe you did this," she smiled.
"I can't believe it either," I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck.
She giggled and glanced at the covered plate in front of her. "So what is it?"
"Well, it's kind of a long story. But in a nutshell, I dropped, burnt, or pretty much destroyed everything I meant to cook today, so I went for the second best thing."
"Should I be scared?"
"Depends…"
I took the covers off swiftly, and bit my lip in fear of what she was going to say. She laughed as she played with the bowl in front of her. "Cereal for dinner? I like it."
"Really?" I sighed, feeling relief washing over me.
She raised a spoon of Lucky Charms to her lips before swallowing. "Definitely."
Okay. I know what you're thinking. You're trying to woo the love of your life and you make her cereal? Well, hey! I tried my best, so shut up. Pshh. She likes it anyway.
After we finished our bowls, Miley and I washed the dishes and cleaned up the chaotic mess I made (which took a good while), and before I knew it, Miley had gone into the room to fall asleep. She didn't want to, but I could tell from the bags under her eyes that she needed it. The dinner had gone successful enough. She wasn't angry with me anymore, but I still kind of expected more. Not that I imagined Miley getting to her knees and proposing or anything, but let's just say I was expecting more.
After she had disappeared into my bedroom, I took a seat on the couch. Feeling stuffed from all that Lucky Charms, I settled back into my seat and sighed. From the corner of my vision I noticed a large pear like shake resting in the back corner of the room. Suddenly, my fingers started itching towards it as if on instinct. Before I knew it, I had picked up my old guitar and was back on the couch tuning it. To be completely honest, I hadn't touched this piece of junk since high school. I used to play it all the time. It was one of the first instruments my dad had first taught me, and I was damn good at it. I played at some small clubs and school shows, but nothing big. I even used to write some of my own songs, but that was when I was in the high point of my life and songs came to me so naturally. And then after graduation, the flow kind of just stopped. Songs and lyrics just wouldn't enter my mind anymore. I was stuck; uninspired.
Yet somehow, here I was strumming my guitar and forming my own melody as if I was back in high school. Like I was inspired again. And I knew where it was coming from too.
My inspiration was Miley Stewart.
Almost as if hearing my own thoughts, Miley crept out of my bedroom in her pajamas and just stood there staring at me play. "I didn't know you knew how to play guitar."
I shrugged and let my hands rest comfortably against the old wood. "I haven't played in a while. I can't believe I still even know how to."
Miley sat down on the couch next to me and smiled slowly. "I once heard that playing the guitar is like riding a bike. Once you learn it, it's stuck with you forever."
I grinned from the thought and just strummed an easy pattern that was buried somewhere in my memory. "I hope so. Music was always a big part of my life back then."
She smiled at me. "See. Maybe we're not all that different."
I remembered that day at the lake house and how her fingers just seemed to naturally flow over the piano keys, and nodded. "I guess not."
"Can you play me something?"
"I don't know what to play."
"Anything," she smiled, interlacing her own hands together in anticipation. Even through high school, back in my golden years, I was always shy in performing. Playing was one thing, but singing was another thing. My first instinct was to say no, but there was something nagging at me from the inside to play for her. I wasn't that scared when I was with her, so instead, I found myself to start singing.
Called you for the first time yesterday
I finally found the missing part of me
I felt so close but you were far away
Left me without anything to say
Now I'm speechless over the edge, I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this lovebug again
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this lovebug again
I can't get your smile out of my mind
(I can't get you outta my mind)
I think about your eyes all the time
You're beautiful but you don't even try
(You don't even, don't even try)
Modesty is just so hard to find…
After repeating the chorus one more time, I strummed the final chord and let it ring between us. By the time I looked back up, she was just staring at me with a curious glance.
"I know I'm not that good, but I wrote it all the way back in high school, and I haven't sung in awhile so…"
Miley's building smile stopped me. "You really wrote all of that?"
I nodded hesitantly, not knowing whether she was going to praise me or laugh her butt off and tape my mouth closed forever. "You are so talented, Nick!" Miley finally burst out. Her lips opened and closed and opened and closed as if she couldn't find the right words to say. "Your voice is just… You're just…" she paused and laughed at herself. "I'm sorry, but look at what you did. You made ME speechless."
I chuckled. "That's pretty big."
"And you haven't played in years?"
I shrugged. "Not since high school."
"But you love music don't you? You love to sing and play. I can just tell from that look in your eyes."
I nodded as I started strumming the intro of another song. "Music's always been the one thing that's been there when no one else hasn't."
She nodded as if understanding completely. "Then why don't you do anything about it. Have you show your music to music producers? Agencies? You have the talent for it."
"They don't want to hear what I have to play."
Taking me by surprise, Miley moved forward and grabbed my face in between her hands without a single hesitation as she made me look straight into her storm gray eyes. "Listen to me, Nick. You're talented. Only few people in this world are born with it, and you have it. Don't let it go to waste. Stop degrading yourself, and telling yourself that you're not good enough. That's not true. You said you wanted to make a difference in the world. This," she pointed towards the guitar cradled in my hands as if it were a baby. "This is your way to make that difference."
I searched her flawless face for a sign of humor or sarcasm, but I found none. Suddenly, we both realized how close we were sitting. I could feel her own breath mixing with mine as we tried to take in what was happening. Almost as if we were connected by small invisible strings, I felt something pulling us together. Miley's hands were still cradling the sides of my face when she moved forward and pressed her lips towards me. The minute her lips met mine, it was as if all that small jolts of energy produced from those small touches had built up and exploded within me. I was feeling so many things I had never felt before. I moved my lips in a soft rhythm as Miley moved closer and matched it. I could feel her tongue slip into my mouth as we held each other closely, no sign of ever letting go. All my senses were filled with so much of her that I couldn't even concentrate. I felt like I was walking through a blind fog with nothing to lead me.
I mean, I've kissed girls before. Trust me. I've kissed A LOT of girls before, but never like this. Not like this.
After both of us were hanging on to a single breath, Miley pulled away first and pressed her forehead to mine. She was breathing heavily, and her heart beat was pressed right against mine as we just sat there, holding each other close. It took me a few moments to let it pass through my head. SHE. KISSED. ME.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, putting her fingers to her lips as if not believing that what we had just done was true reality. Before I could say anything to stop her, she had pushed herself out of my arms and ran back into the bedroom as if nothing had happened at all.
She left me sitting there alone in a compete daze that the kiss had still left me in. I felt disappointment settle in as I sat there, the kiss still fresh on my lips. I stared at the door she had managed to escape through and waited for her to come back. But I knew she wouldn't. Sighing, I picked up my jacket and managed to escape the apartment and everything Miley Stewart- related in it. I had to clear my mind.
She was the one who kissed ME, I thought to myself. Not the other way around. What had she been apologizing for anyway? Did she regret the kiss? Was I that much of a horrible kisser? Goddamn. All these questions were killing me. Miley Stewart was like a virus that wouldn't stop until it took every hold on you. I was far too deep to get out. Maybe Old John was right.
"Nick?" a familiar sweet voice called out. I turned around to see Selena standing there in that huge brown sweater again that made her look like a hotdog. She was waving me over, and even through the confusion in my head, I found myself walking towards her. Selena was always a close friend. The girl I could tell anything to. She was just calm and a really good listener. Like when I stuck gum in that girl's hair back in elementary, she waited until AFTER I finished to scream at me and hit me in the head.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her clubbing attire under that annoying hot dog jacket of hers.
"I went clubbing with Taylor, which by the way, someone forgot to remind me how lame clubs are here."
I looked around, searching for that bubbly blonde, but she was nowhere in sight. As if noticing my wandering gaze, Selena sighed. "I made Taylor go home."
"Why?"
"Because this guy asked her to go home with him, and she was about to say yes."
I raised an eyebrow at why Selena was being so protective. She's had her own late night club rendezvous before from what I've heard. "What was so wrong with him?"
Selena snorted. "Oh trust me. He was like 40 years older than her, and she only wanted to say yes because he looked like that guy from the KFC commercials."
"The one with the beard and the cane?"
Selena cringed as she matched my horrified expression. "Now you understand why I sent her home." I chuckled easily, able to picture Taylor running off with a white bearded guy who loved fried chicken. That's our Taylor for you.
"What's wrong?" she asked as she studied my face closer. My face was probably a huge depression icon right now. It wasn't too hard to figure out.
"Your kind is what's wrong," I grumbled to myself, stuffing my hands in my jeans pockets, and suddenly remembering why I had gone outside in the first place.
"My kind?"
"Girls."
"Oh," Selena's face relaxed as she realized what I was talking about. "So what's the dilemma?"
I huffed out all my frustration and threw my hands up. "You guys are so damn confusing!"
Selena seemed to find my dismay amusing. Yup. That's my friends for you. It took her awhile to calm down her laughing before she linked my arms and started walking down the block with me to who knows where. "Nick. Girls aren't confusing. You're just thinking too much into it."
"So if a girl randomly comes up to you and kisses you, then runs away, I'M the one who's thinking too much into it?"
Selena bit her lip a little unsure. "Okay. Well, maybe that is a little confusing, but you're probably just being confusing back."
"What does that even mean?"
"Have you been holding back on anything with this certain girl? Did you make your feelings confusing?"
I snorted. "Sel. You've known me since I was like 5. I'm pretty sure you know I'm not a guy who throws all my feelings out there for the world to see."
A bright smile spread on her face. "And that's exactly where the problem is starting."
We stopped at the local park and she took a seat on the swing sets that used to be one of our favorite hang- outs all through elementary. We would just all sit here and swing and swing until we got tired or our parents called us back. Those were the good old days. When no one cared what you did or what you said. No one was asked, What are you going to be when you grow up? Or how much you make per hour. Everyone was equal.
Selena took a seat on one of the swings and motioned for me to take the one next to her. "So tell me, what do you feel for this mystery girl?"
"I honestly don't know. I think I like like her."
Selena chuckled and shook her head. "We're not in 3rd grade anymore, Nick. Like like in adult world basically means love. So you do love this girl?"
"I… um… Right."
"And you haven't told her."
"Right."
"Because you're too scared."
"Right."
"And you don't know if she feels the same way."
"Right."
"But she still kissed you, but ran away after, and that's why you're here talking to me right now."
"All of this would a big help, but you pretty much just stated everything I already knew. Thanks a lot," I mumbled sarcastically. Selena chuckled as she swung a little, her feet kicking in the air. I tried matching her stride, but Selena was just too good at this. Ever since we were kids. She was always one swing faster or higher.
"I don't know what to tell you, Nick."
I groaned and kicked my feet a little higher as the swing moved back. "You tell me so much advice when I don't need it, and the day I do ask for it, you have NOTHING to tell me? Honestly?"
"Sorry. I've got nothing… Well, nothing that you don't already know."
"Which is?"
Selena laughed and shook her head. We were both swinging so high now that I felt like there was no such thing as gravity anymore. Suddenly, she grabbed my swing and we both ended up flying into open space. I distinctly remember hitting the hard ground in a loud THUMP and then something else slamming into my head. I cursed and shuffled myself up only to find Selena laughing like a complete idiot.
"Why did you just do that? Are you drunk or something?"
Selena giggled into her palm. "To be honest, yes. I went clubbing with Taylor earlier, remember?"
"Oh right.. But did you seriously land on me?" I asked, rubbing my upper spine. Goddamn. How heavy could this girl be? It felt like a damn skyscraper had smashed into my back. "And stay off the burgers, Sel. I mean it."
She giggled like the drunk idiot she was and nodded. She dusted herself off and just sat next to me. "I miss this, don't you?" she asked, starting to sound less drunk and more rational; maybe even a hint of sadness.
"Yeah. We had so many good memories here."
"Do you realize how long it's been since we've done this?"
"Nearly killing me? No. But having swing jumps? It's been awhile. Though I do remember you always winning it."
Selena punched me lightly on the arm. "Why do you think I mentioned it?"
I punched her back and laughed. "Now this is what I miss. Just having you guys around."
Selena smiled and leaned her head on my shoulder. She had grown taller than the last time I had seen her, and I could smell the hint of strawberry shampoo radiating from her dark brown curls, the same color as mine. They always did tease us that we looked like brother and sister.
"Do you remember when we were 11, and we watched that movie at Joe's house that we weren't supposed to?"
"Because Joe's parents didn't let him watch any kiss scenes," I snickered, remembering how strict they were while raising him. "Who ever knew their son would still turn into a pervert anyway."
Selena laughed. "Do you remember after that… what we did..."
My laugh slowly faded away. I still remembered that day clearly. "We kissed under the slides, because we were curious about how it felt."
She laughed softly and nodded, her head still leaning on my shoulder. "You were my first kiss."
"You were mine too."
Without realizing what I was doing, I had turned around and pressed my lips towards Selena's. Her lips were soft under mine, but I didn't feel anything. Not like how it was with Miley. With Selena, it just felt like kissing. Nothing more than that. After a few short seconds, both of us pulled away. There was nothing exciting or passionate about it. I guess I only did it, because I wanted to feel something other than the frustration Miley had left. I wanted to prove to myself that she could be forgotten, that I could feel something else that powerful without her… But I was wrong. I tucked my knees closer and wiped my fingers across my lips. "I'm sorry, Selena. I shouldn't have done that. It was a mistake."
It took Selena awhile to answer as she sat there, just staring into space. Finally, she smiled sadly. "You know everyone in town used to always think we would end up together? Get married. Have kids. Grow old here."
I stayed silent, not really knowing what to say. Selena smiled sadly and kissed me on the cheek softly. "But a girl knows when a boy looks into their eyes and sees someone else. Whoever the girl is, she's lucky."
Selena stood up slowly, and wiped the sand off her jeans. She gave me one last look before walking away alone. What I never told anyone was that Selena Logan was the first girl I actually did lose my virginity too. I stayed with her all throughout high school, because I thought we were supposed to. It was more out of a feeling of duty; not love; never love.
After a few hours of just sitting there and staring at the empty swing set, I finally forced myself to stand up and walk away from the past that I wanted so badly to relive… But I knew I couldn't. The more I sat here and focused on what I had to be, I would be doing nothing for myself. Sighing, I stood up and dusted myself off from the sand that I had once called home for every Saturday afternoon.
It was time to stop living from the past, I told myself as I took a shaky step and began to move forward.
A/N: Sorry if it was kind of a boring chapter. I had some writer's block, but there are some major parts in this chapter that will heavily impact the rest of the story. I'm still deciding on what I'm going to do with this Nelena thing, and you're probably really curious on the closet thing from the beginning. It'll all explain in time. Hahaa. And I know your faces for this chapter were probably: FINALLY! NILEY KISS! ... Oh wait. She ran away. Never mind.. OMG! NELENA KISS! WTF?
Hahaa. Sorry if it's confusing, but I like to make you guys think. The next few chapters will get a little more scrambled up. Let me just tell you that Miley is just as confused about the kiss as Nick is. That's all I'm going to say. THANKS FOR READING! And the really long reviews for the last chapter! You have no idea how big I smiled when I saw over 14 reviews over- night; almost all of them like a page long. Hahaa. 3
