Hello! First of all, thank you all so much for your lovely reviews and constant support with this story. I plan to be updating much more regularly now. I apologise for the absence; after Robin's final episode, I found it very difficult to find the right headspace to continue with my multichaps. However, I really enjoyed writing this chapter for you all and I hope you enjoy it.
If you wish to hit me up on the social medz, my twitter is RegalPixieDust. I love a good blether.
As always, the mistakes are mine! Enjoy and thank you.
"This is strange," Rosie whispers over to Regina - the older one. Only to be met by a look as if to say duh. Ever since Regina sat across from herself in the diner, mulling over a lukewarm glass of water only minutes earlier, she has been in a perpetual state of creeped out and confused.
"You're telling me," she whispers back. They are following five or six steps behind her younger self into town, not a clue where they are going. She was sent to Regina and Rosie to guide them to her first challenge, the first obstacle, but she wouldn't give much more information than that, and by the sounds of it she didn't have much more than that.
"If anyone should feel strange, it should be me," Young Regina calls over her shoulder, "I just met myself from the future. You're old and look funny."
"Excuse me?" Regina challenges, "I'll have you know that I look excellent for my age, dear." Her littler self stops and turns, mischievously glaring at the older pair, frightening Rosie just a tad, but Regina understanding and chuckling lightly and calmly. "She's messing with us. I always forget how much of a pain in the ass I was."
"You still have an intimidating glare," Rosie murmurs as they continue to follow the young girl through a maze of head stones. Rosie notices that Regina is fidgeting with her fingers, pulling and cracking at her knuckles, "Don't worry about anything, Regina."
"I'm trying," she sighs out, dropping her hands to her sides as they walk, explaining, "I hate not knowing what I'm in for."
"You are going to be faced with a number of challenges," Rosie starts to explain, "Not necessarily physical, but emotional ones. In order to make your connection with Robin as pure as it can possibly be, there are areas of your mind that you need to clear." They look ahead at the back of little Regina again, Rosie stops and halts Regina by taking and squeezing her hand. Sincerely and supportively, Rosie finishes, "You are so strong and have been bestowed with a wonderful gift. But you have a lot of pain and conflict going on in that head of yours. If you're willing to let yourself be free of the things that plague your past, willing to consider other options, more difficult options, you are going to find your soulmate. I promise."
Regina feels a flush of hope for the first time in a long time. To have just one person who isn't her father or her boyfriend or her son tell her that she is capable of something so out of this world, something she feels in her core to be impossible, it gives her a sense of security and hope. She is starting to believe that it's possible.
"We're here!" Regina's younger counterpart yells over her shoulder, turning and urging them over looks around at the eerie surroundings; a cemetery and a stoned structure with a high, high wooden door. The carvings above the door are stunning. "It's a vault," the young girl explains, pushing with all of the strength her little arms can muster, opening the door. She moves inside and begins to push the stoned coffin in the centre. She is struggling, so Rosie and Regina offer a hand and it moves much more easily, revealing a suspicious looking staircase into the depths of the vault. "Down you go."
"What?" Regina asks, subconsciously taking a step back away and folding her arms like there is a chill in the air, but really to close herself off. "I'm not going down there."
Little Regina rolls her eyes - the famous Mill's roll, "You have to. It's the only way Robin can find you."
Regina moves her eyes from her younger form back to the stairs, then up to Rosie, who only presses her lips tightly together in a small smile and shrugs her shoulders.
"What will I find?" Regina asks, edging closer.
"There was a moment in our life when you started to hate yourself." Regina turns to looks at the child-sized version of herself as she speaks, "You need to figure out why and deal with it. I imagine you will meet a few familiar faces along the way to guide you through it."
Rosie and young Regina step back, readying to leave the vault when Regina takes they step. Inhaling into the tightness in her chest, a mix of nerves and the dusty air, she steps down slowly.
"Regina," Rosie calls out one last time, "Thank you. Again."
She turns her head around to catch a final glimpse of Rosie and smiles an appreciative but small smile before focussing on her decent into the unknown depths of the vault. Lit only by scattered, flickering candle light, Regina attempts to shake off the nervous feeling, turning to the right at the bottom of the stairs, coming face to face with a large mirror. She startles herself, only for a moment, and she breathes it away, taking an extra second to straighten herself up in the reflection. She rubs lightly over her cheek with her palm and deflates along with her sigh.
From behind her comes a soft sound, a clinking almost, like when Henry drops his dishes into the kitchen sink. Regina turns and looks into the small room ahead of her, another large mirror at the far end. Carefully, Regina edges towards the doorway and feels a presence.
"Hello?" She asks, she's forcing her movements, uneasiness keeping her back. She steps fully into the centre of the small room when another sound rattles through the air from behind her, "Who's there?" She tries again to get the attention of whoever or whatever is in here with her. Another wordless sign comes in the extinguishing of flames momentarily only to be sparked up again in seconds. "I'm not scared of you!" Regina grits through her teeth, trying all too hard to be more convincing than how she actually feels.
"You never were one to be scared of anything, Regina..."
A body materialises before her, Regina's heartbeat slowing and a faintness airing around in her mind, "Oh my God," she breathes, hitched slightly in her throat, that all too familiar pinch behind her eyes. "Mom?"
Robin finds himself in the deep forest. Nothing new at all there, it's where he spent many hours exploring as a child. It's the place he considers safe and homely. However, for the first time ever he feels lost in this forest. Every direction looks the same and he feels like something's missing, like that magnetism that gives him guidance to Regina has suddenly been ripped away.
He starts in one direction, just going exclusively on the instinct in his gut, but after a few thumped steps in the dirt, he hesitates and looks around one more time. Something makes him change his mind, so he goes with it, purely allowing his instinct to make every decision for him. After several minutes of walking, circling around tree trunks and climbing over low level logs, Robin becomes increasingly impatient and his steady steps becomes a light jog. And soon he's running.
The loss of that pull towards her has rooted a deep worry into his soul, one that he can't shake. What if something's happened to her? What if she didn't make it into the realm? As he's running, he catches a glimpse of a brunette out of the corner of his eyes, and he stops, searching around for the body.
"Regina?" He calls out, still circling in one spot, he's convinced it had to be her, "Regina?' He tries again, but it's not her voice that comes from his left.
"Not quite," Marian says softly from his side, cautiously giving Robin a fair distance to notice her and react in whatever way his body deems necessary.
His throat all but closes after a few confused, shocked and disbelieving expressions of heavy breath. Wide eyes and a dropped jaw to go with it. Marian tries to not laugh at his reaction, so she settles for the tiniest of smirks and a glance to the ground. Instead of attempting any explanation, Marian opens her arms in a friendly gesture for a hug.
"Really?" Robin asks, not believing that it's possible. When Marian nods her head softly, they fall into each other in the most tender of reunions. Robin digs his face in her neck, sniffling out a sob into the warmth of her skin that he has missed. He pulls back and cradles her face, his thumb tracing her cheeks delicately, taking his fingertips into her hair. It's the kind of gesture that would be finished with the sealing of lips, but he can't. He feels a pit in his stomach - guilt, self hatred. His wife is standing before him and he can't kiss her because his heart isn't her's anymore.
Marian understands, so as she stares deep into the blue eyes that are no longer uncharted by another, she smiles brightly and tells him, "It's okay."
"I'm sorry," Robin exhales, a weight lifted after finally being able to say it to her face, to watch her process an apology, "I didn't mean to fall in love again so quickly."
"Nobody means to fall in love, Robin." Marian whispers, a slight giggle, a happiness in her voice that settles Robin's nervously beating heart. "Besides, you built your walls up so high. When someone tears them down like she did, you always fall harder than usual." Robin smiles into the palm that Marian cups around his cheek. "Regina is exceptional. You and Roland deserve someone like her in your life, not to mention Henry-"
"Henry," Robin remembers painfully gripping Marian's shoulders, the boy still stuck in a limbo, most likely alone and scared after Zelena's mischief, "You were with him. Is he alright? Is he alone?"
Marian's eyes soften at his concern, her lips purse tightly, "Something happened. It was like an earthquake, but Daniel is with him. He's safe and with his father. I would never have left him alone, no matter how strong the pull here was."
"He's alright?" Robin asks again, for the ease that will come with the clarification.
"He's fine," Marian promises, "Confused, a little scared, but he's fine. He's strong. He will get through this."
"He's a good boy."
"I know," she agrees, "He helped me just as much as Regina when I was trying to reach you."
"Henry helped you?" Robin asks, they've pulled apart, only slightly, but he watches her closely waiting for an answer.
"Regina didn't tell you?" Marian asks, not horribly or in any way to shed Regina in a bad light. And Robin shakes his head, still oblivious to the conversation that Marian is on about. "Henry could see me too. He told her when she found Henry in this realm, just before the world started shaking."
"But it skips a generation," Robin tries to understand.
"Something as complex as this doesn't always play by the rules."
That makes him laugh, quite heartily in fact. He's spent months trying to make sense of something that really doesn't make any sense at all. Much like the situation he has found himself in, deep in the forest without a clue which way to turn.
"I don't mean for this to sound like I'm not happy to see you," Robin smirks, lifting Marian's hand to his lips and placing a chaste kiss near her knuckles, "But what are you doing here?"
Marian chuckles lightly, "I'm here to help you find Regina."
Robin clears his throat nervously, "That's a little awkward."
"What? Your dead wife helping you find your soulmate?" Marian smirks, walking and pulling him in the same direction he had picked before. "Nothing awkward about that at all."
He's missed her humour. Her laugh. Everything about her really. But mostly, he's missed her heart and her understanding. He lost it all that night, the night he let her walk away, let her storm out after a fight.
"Marian, I am so sorry," Robin tells her, they are still walking, but they slow, "I should never have let you leave that night."
She squeezes his hand, hushes him, "Don't dwell on that. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault."
"Except the bastard who murdered you," Robin clenches through his teeth, angrily and upset.
"About that," Marian sighs, getting all of his attention, undivided, he even stops to look at her again, to hear every word, "You know what, never mind," she buries the confession deep, "This isn't what I'm here to do. I have to help you let go."
"Let go of what?" Robin asks.
"Your pain. Your doubt. In order to love Regina fully and surely enough to make your connection as strong as it needs to be, you have to let all of it go. You have to let me go."
"How are you?" Cora asks, shuffling around on balls of her feet, fidgeting with her fingers, just like Regina does in moments of nervousness. Regina scoffs, though, nothing humanely possible could have kept that back. The first thing her mother has to say is how are you? like they have a normal relationship, like Regina didn't spend the last god knows how many years without a mother. "Possibly not the best conversation starter…" Cora realises.
"No, probably not," Regina huffs, crossing her arms, feeling suddenly propelled into a teenage body with the attitude to match it. "Of all people who could help me through this, why on earth was it you?"
"I don't get to decide that," Cora admits and indicates upward with her hands, "There are greater powers at play. Not to mention Zelena-"
"Don't say her name," Regina barks, scowling at the mention of the witch how has caused all this trouble, "She killed Marian. She almost killed my son, your grandson."
"I know," Cora interrupts, "I know all too well what she is capable of. She has kept me captive in this realm for years. First Daniel, then me, and now Marian."
"Why?"
"I don't know, sweetheart," Cora begins to step forward, but retreats when Regina shows all the signs of not wanting her any closer. "She wants to hurt you."
"She's already doing that."
"She wants to hurt you more than you've ever been hurt before," Cora sighs, "But we are not going to let that happen."
Regina locks eyes with Cora for the first time, skeptical and asks, "We? When has there ever been a we?"
"This is why I am here, don't you see?" Cora asks, ignoring Regina's reluctance this time and walks towards Regina, holding back on touching her at this point, but stands close enough that Regina can smell the all too familiar musky fruited scent that always lingered on her skin. "You're still angry at me and rightly so. But all of that anchored frustration is what you need to rid of."
It isn't a stretch to call that the truth. Regina may not voice it very often, but Cora enters her mind a lot - small moments here and there, sometimes when she see's a ghost, sometimes when Henry asks about her, but she's never fully forgiven Cora for leaving. And she won't.
"I'm not going to be able to forgive you in two seconds," Regina shrugs, sighing at the prospect of an infuriatingly busy path ahead of her. Cora surprises her then, reaching for both of her hands and holding them tightly. Regina doesn't pull away, she can only manage to exhale slowly and look away.
Suddenly, they are engulfed in a bright light and Regina feels a tingling in her stomach, like the kind on the first drop of a rollercoaster, though it's not as intense — it's barely slight. When is begins to fade and Cora's hands drop Regina's wrists back to dangle at her sides, Regina opens her eyes slowly, adjusting.
High school. She's back in the hallway of her high school and she groans. Of all the places to go, it had to be here? The walls are that sickening shade of yellow, the lockers a bright orange, and nothing could mask the smell of cleaning product that rises from the floor.
"Why did you bring me here?" She asks Cora, but she see's the answer before Cora can give it to her.
Regina is looking at a younger version of herself again, she's sixteen, she's upset. She remembers this day all too well. Cora left their home on a Friday evening, this was the next Monday at school. She watches herself lean her forehead against her gross orange locker and sighs a shuddered, pained breath against the metal.
"Do you understand now?" Cora asks quietly as she watches her young daughter struggle while her adult daughter watches and remembers such a painful day.
"I was so sad," Regina mumbles, blinking away the pinching behind her eyes, "I was so angry and lost and…"
"This was when it all started," Cora says, reaching up behind Regina's back and squeezing her shoulder. Regina turns her glare away from her much sadder self and looks at her mother curiously, "This was the moment that you truly started to hate your gift. You started to hate yourself. And it was all because of me." They are engulfed by light again and ripped away from the high school, back to the dimmer light of the vault. Regina is still reeling of the vocalisation of her feelings. She's only ever felt them, never tried much to put them into words, but now Cora has done it for her and it hits a spot somewhere. She's startled when Cora reaches up to her cheek and wipes away a tear that has fallen, mumbling a sincere and heartfelt apology. "I wish I didn't have to justify my leaving. But I was so scared, you have to understand that, especially now that you are a mother. I am so, so indescribably sorry for making you feel the way you did that way at school."
"You made me question everything about myself," Regina sniffles through one more tear, clears her throat, "I have spent my entire life trying to forget who I was and I was finally so close to living a normal life."
Cora sits atop a trunk, patting the space next to her, allowing Regina the option to join her. She does, their hips touching slightly because of the small sitting space.
"I know this isn't easy and it's the last thing you want right now. This is all part of your journey to let Robin find you, I promise."
Sighing loudly, Regina nods her head, "Then let's get on with it. Please. I just want everyone to be safe and home. What do I have to do?"
"Why would I ever let you go?" Robin asks, shocked that she would ever even suggest such a thing. "Are you telling me that I can't love Regina without ridding myself of you? Because that isn't fair."
They are walking again, Marian guiding them through the forest without question, their conversation determining their pace.
"No, that's not what I mean. You aren't going to rid yourself of our memories, you just need to embrace them happily instead of wallowing within them," Marian explains, and Robin sighs, understanding slightly more. "You have placed so much blame on your shoulders."
"How could I not?" Robin argues, "If I had just come home when I was supposed to, if I just stopped and listened to you—"
"Fate works in mysterious ways. I was destined to die, Robin. Whether it be that night or two years before or even twenty years from now. You have to learn to understand that. That's they only way you will find Regina in this world."
"She's here?" Robin asks, "It doesn't feel like she is."
"She's facing her own battles right now and once she does, once you face your own, your connection will be so strong that nothing can pull you apart," Marian explains, "And then you can send that red headed bitch to where she belongs and you can all go home and be the family I know you will be."
Robin smiles at the thought alone. He and Regina moving forward in their relationship, talking more, raising the boys happily, no demented spirits, only nice ones; he would never ask Regina to conceal her gift, not to mention Henry apparently as well. It all seems too good to be true, but it's worth the effort to try.
"She's strong, I know she can do it," Robin praises, "And I refuse to let her down. What do we do?"
Thanks for sticking with me. Robin and Regina race to find each other in the next chapter, and we'll have some more familiar faces. If you'd like to review, please do! I genuinely love hearing feedback. Stay tuned for a new chapter.
Shay xo
