Chapter 8
I ran up to my room and fell onto my bed. I didn't want to be mad at Shane. I wasn't mad at Shane. But my day had actually started to look good. It's stupid that Shane saying that I sounded better could ruin my whole day. I stuffed my head into my pillow and then I started to scream into it. It wasn't the best way of venting but up 'til now I haven't really ever had anything to vent about so this seemed like a good place to start. I could hear foot steps coming into the hall way. Shane. He walked up to my door and then sighed. He knocked on the door. I didn't answer.
"Come on Mitch open up. I want to help you," He pleaded.
I didn't answer I started to silently cry into my pillow.
"Mitch…." He sounded almost like he was crying.
"What?" I whispered.
"I want to help you."
I got up and walked to the door, "Please open the door," he said I bet he heard me get up.
I opened the door slightly, "How can you help when I can't tell you a thing?" I whispered.
"Can you let me in your room first?"
I thought about it for a second and then I opened the door.
I went and lay back down on my bed. He closed the door and then sat down next to me on the bed. He just sat there staring at me. Like the first time we met like maybe he could find out what happened just by looking into my eyes. I whipped my head around to the other direction, fearing that, with Shane's great talent, he would find out.
"Mitch what happened?"
"I told you I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE???!!!"
"No. But what makes you think this person will be able to find you?"
"Carlon's talented," I whispered.
"Carlon?"
"Hmm…" I said.
"What did he do?" he asked suspiciously.
"Nothing."
"Mitchie I love you baby. But I can't help you if you don't tell me anything."
"Yep."
"C'mon Mitch. You can tell me."
"Mhmm."
"You aren't helping," he sighed exasperated.
"He said that he'd kill me," I said dazed. I was in deep thought. Shane told me that he was protective over me. I understood that I knew that he was. But if I DID tell Shane and Shane was protective over me.... then Carlon would kill Shane too. He couldn't kill Shane. I was hoping he couldn't kill me but I knew he could. Most likely if Shane was protective over me he would die first. He might be the only one to die. I couldn't live without Shane.
"Mitchie I already know that."
"You'd die," I said still dazed. I couldn't let Shane die. I couldn't let Carlon kill him. Much less kill Shane and then NOT kill me. If Shane was dead I was dead.
"What do you mean baby?"
"I'd be dead," what would happen to me if Shane died? Well I knew that. I'd either die, the spirit inside me, or I'd kill myself.
"Mitch… you alive you're not dead."
"What about Cait?" What would Nate or Jason or Cait do without me or Shane? I know they can't live without Shane either. He's just as much of a part of their lives then mine.
"What about Cait."
I could tell Shane thought he was getting somewhere but he wasn't. Really I was just talking to myself. I was saying the things that I thought.
"We can't live without him…" I trailed off. I got up from my bed and stepped over to my closet. If Shane was in danger because of me then I had to leave. I couldn't put any one here in danger. No way. If Carlon wants to kill me then he can kill me…. But no one else. Definitely no one else. Defiantly not Shane.
"Mitchie what are you doing?" Shane was panicking.
"I have to leave, I have to go somewhere else," I said to myself.
"What? No? Mitchie! You can't go anywhere!"
I shook my head at Shane's panicked voice. I looked up at Shane confused.
"You can't leave Mitchie. We need you. Here. Not there no here!"
"What?"
"You can't leave!"
"I have to," I said to myself again, "I have to," I whispered.
"Why? Where would you go?"
"It doesn't matter. I just have to get away from you."
"What? Why? It's me that's making you leave?"
"No… It's Carlon."
"What about Carlon?" he was getting impatient.
"You said you wouldn't hate me…."
I grabbed a bunch of clothes and stuck them in my bag. I grabbed my song book. I went into my bathroom. I grabbed my make up bag and shampoo and conditioner. I grabbed my razor and then headed back to my room. Shane was sitting on my bed his head in his hands. I'm guessing he was thinking. I walked back over to my closet where my bag was and put in my new additions. I turned around and Shane was standing right there in front of me. He grabbed my wrists lightly but not enough that I could free myself.
"You can't leave Mitchie you can't!"
"I don't want him to kill you."
"Why would he kill me?"
"If you're protecting me he's going to have to kill you to be able to kill me. I'd rather me just die."
"Mitchie don't say that. I would much rather die because of you than to just die."
"YOU don't say THAT!"
"But I want to," He pleaded, "I won't let you go."
"You don't have control over me Shane."
"So what you're just gonna leave me? That's why I married you! SO YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE ME!!!"
"I'm sorry Shane but I just can't stay here and risk your life."
"Mitchie can't you just tell me what happened? I won't let him kill you or kill me!"
I took a deep breath. More than anything I wanted to tell Shane and to have him comfort me and to have him protect me, "It's It's It's,"
"What is it Mitchie?"
"It's fairly similar to what I told you. You know my example?"
Okay guys what did you think?
