Ah, yes, the Truth Room. This should be fun, eh? And yes, I took quite a few liberties with this bit. I hope you enjoy it.


"Lift operational," the tinny voice announced, bringing Alice back to the here and now. Ten minutes had passed in a flash as she turned the watch over and over in her fingers. It was almost like holding a piece of her father in her hands (which is less creepy if you don't think about that sentence in the literal sense.). The tall club, who she assumed was Number Ten if the little guy had been Nine, pressed the button to call the lift. She put the watch on, having no pockets in her dress. The thing was heavy and warm from her hands, but so loose she had to push it halfway up her forearm before it was even somewhat secure.

A dull clanking reminiscent of every elevator she'd ever been in preceded the lift doors opening. It was dark inside the car, the only light coming from a single, dim bulb set into the ceiling. The space was too small for her entire entourage, so only Alice, Number Ten and two of the Aces actually got in. The doors slid closed again. Light suddenly flooded the compartment and it took Alice only a moment to realize it was coming from below and not above. Then she made the mistake of looking down.

The car had no floor. Well, that wasn't true, the car must have a floor; they were standing on it. The bottom of the car was clear and all Alice could see below her was open air and the ground a million miles away. The car dropped, not sharply, but faster than she would have been entirely comfortable with even in a normal elevator. The whole thing was clear, save for a large heart that had been frosted on the sliding doors. Her vision tunneled out, threatening to go black entirely. She would have screamed if she had been able to get any sound out, but her throat had closed off entirely. No air in, no air out. The girl's knees gave and she would have gone down, but Number Ten caught her with a single, ridiculously strong hand curled around the back of her neck. The pad of his thumb pressed firmly against the nub of bone just behind her ear, stimulating the bundle of nerves there and keeping her from passing out altogether.

As the building rose up to meet them, Alice was certain the glass enclosure would be smashed to bits on roof of the casino. Instead the machine followed its framing, as it was meant to, and slipped easily into the waiting shaft. The roof closed over their heads as the car quickly slowed to a gentle stop, leaving the quartet with only the soft illumination of the weak bulb once more. Alice was quietly hyperventilating, but dim light seemed to help her regain her faculties. Perhaps that was intentional. She couldn't be the only person in Wonderland who was disturbed by the amusement park ride like elevator. Number Ten released her when a soft ding! proclaimed their arrival.

With a hiss, the doors slid apart, opening onto a little lobby area flanked on either side by banks of regular elevators. The casino was stark, like the royal airship had been, but all done in light grey stone and red art deco furnishings and décor. A potted plant here and there tried valiantly to break up the cold, too modern environment, but ultimately failed. The casino workers moved through the halls, all going about their daily business. Most were women, pretty women, and all wore uniforms (if you could call a minidress a uniform) of sparkly red diamonds over white.

Occasionally, Alice was marched passed a large set of double doors with a plaque set into the wall beside them. These must be the rooms where emotions were collected, she reasoned as she went by Peace, Adoration, and what she had no doubt was Lust given the sounds coming from within as a rather flushed, disheveled diamond woman slipped out the door. Wow.

They made there way to a small reception area where a woman sat behind the large, half moon desk. Like any receptionist worth her salt, the cocoa-skinned woman, who's name plate identified her as Shaquella, didn't even look up as the group approached.

"Oyster Hamilton for the Truth Room," Number Ten announced. Shaquella didn't even bat an eyelash. She just pointed one too long, red nail to her left. Apparently, her world and Wonderland weren't so different after all, Alice mused as she was led away.

Ten led them through a set of those grand double doors, the plaque reading: Excitement, Eagerness, and Anticipation. Apparently a short cut to their destination, this was the first part of the casino that actually looked like a casino. There were roulette wheels, craps and blackjack tables, and various other gambling staples. All the games were presided over by a diamond woman and surrounded by dazed and transfixed oysters. There were platforms with glass go-go booths and a stage where feather plumed showgirls danced to lounge music. None of the oysters spoke and, passing by a table where everyone's cards came up blackjack, she saw their skin flush pink as they smiled widely at winning. The blush flowed down like water in a pipe, through their bare feet and into the floor. So, that's what it looked like when you stole someone's emotions.

Out through another pair of doors at the far end of the room, they continued on. The Aces fell back as Ten took her arm, guiding her through a strangely simple doorway; just an average wooden door, the kind you might find in any home or Home Depot. It was entirely out of place in a building like the Happy Hearts Casino.

As the door closed behind them, the girl felt like she had stepped into an acid trip. All around her were swirling and shifting black and white circles, something an arch villain would use to hypnotize a hero. Alice wasn't sure which way was up, the floor blended with the walls, which blended with the ceiling. She briefly wondered if she was laying down, as ridiculous as that sounds. So distracted by her surroundings, she didn't notice when Ten left or when her new hosts arrived, until they spoke.

"I know what you're thinking," came a voice straight out of Frankenstein. But, when Alice whirled towards the speaking, she wasn't faced with Igor. Fucking Christ, it's Pinhead! And the resemblance was uncanny. Leather S&M outfit with unnecessary buckles and laces, paper white and bloodless skin, bald head - though lacking the requisite pins to complete the ensemble. She fell back from the man, the two men. Or was it two of the same man? "But it isn't so, no how," he insisted.

"Contrary wise," the second him spoke up in the same hissing, whiney, too solicitous voice as the first. "If it was so, it could be and if it were so, it would be, but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." He seemed pleased with his reasoning, though she had no idea what the Hell either of them were talking about.

"I am Doctor Dee," the first spoke up, motioning to himself. Then, with a gesture to the second, "And this is my brother…"

"Doctor Dum," the other finished.

Oh god. Bald, chubby twins; there could be no doubt who they were. It was fitting that the Queen would have put these two freaks in charge of getting answers out of people. Alice backed away, but how could she escape? She didn't even know where the fucking door was anymore!

"Our job is to open you up, pull everything out…" Dee explained. The girl's skin was ice as she took his words literally.

"Until we find the very thing we're looking for," Dum finished his brother's sentence again. They both laughed with sinisterly eager glee. No, no, no! She had to get out of there.

"Relax," the two spoke in unison. Relax? Were they insane? … yes, obviously. But, their voices were so persuasive. "Let your mind go. Allow yourself to fall into a deep sleep." And she was still so tired. Exhausted. Her eyes slipped closed.

Alice opened her eyes to find she was in an elevator, gray steel walls all around her, a little LED screen perched above the doors displaying the floor number as she rode up and up and up. Well, of course she was in an elevator, how else was she supposed to get to the observation deck? Duh. But, something was wrong. She just couldn't put her finger on it.

"How old are you?" a voice asked from the speaker system. The LED box shifted from the floor number - 60 - to the face of a bald, pudgy old man.

"Ten," the girl answered, somehow not finding it odd at all that the elevator had suddenly become sentient.

"Where are you?"

"The Empire State Building," she smiled widely, bubbling with eager excitement.

"But you're alone," the elevator remarked, surprised. Her smile vanished. That's what had been wrong. She was alone in the elevator. "Why have you been left all alone?"

Frowning in confusion and unease, Alice looked around the small cube as though it would produce her answer. "I don't know. Dad was here a minute ago," she insisted with growing alarm.

"Did he say, 'good-bye'?"

"No." Her bottom lip trembled as a child's tears of fear filled her eyes. "I don't was right here!"

The elevator stopped and the door slid open with a cheery ding! Before her was a marble floored room, all lined with windows looking out onto the observation area, with its steel webbing and safety bars, and beyond to a vast cityscape.

"Why don't you see if he's out there?" the elevator suggested helpfully. The girl lifted her foot to step out, but stopped.

"No, I can't," she said, wringing her hands together fretfully.

"Why not?"

She didn't know why not. Something inside was holding her back, there was something very bad out there. "I… I have to wait for Dad," she insisted, not wanting to admit she was scared.

"Nonsense," the elevator replied, coaxingly. "He'll be along shortly."

Alice chewed her lip, really not wanting to go out there. But, there was no reason not to, there was nothing to be afraid of, after all. She stepped out of the elevator. SHUNK! The doors shut behind her. She spun back, pounding her hands on the cold steel, no longer a worried child, but a terrified adult. The scene had shifted around her and instead of being safely inside the observatory, the elevator had let her out directly onto the deck. It was like her worst nightmares of that day, the day her father vanished. Gone were the high walls and safety precautions, only an iron railing separated her from certain death. Most of the city was gone - it and the sky had been replaced by swirling orange and purple nothingness - and what little remained was far, far below her now.

A humming drone filled the air, followed by the voices of Drs. Dee and Dum, still in unison. "Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall." Looking over her shoulder she saw the twins, zipping idly around the tower on huge, fat bumblebees, both men wearing ridiculous aviator's goggles and scarves. "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again."

"Now's time for a battle," one of them said, Dee or Dum she no longer knew. Alice turned, pressing her back flat against the elevator doors, but instead found herself facing them and her back meeting nothing but open air. Her arms flailed, desperately seeking purchase, but the railing had vanished and she was near to teetering right off the ledge.

"Let's see if we can find a little lever," the other brother suggested to his twin. "And prize the tasty oyster open."

Alice caught sight of salvation. More or less. Just to her left stood one of the old time pay viewers, the kind you had to put a quarter in for them to work. She practically dove for it, sinking to the ground and wrapping her arms around the pole.

"Well, now," a bee whizzed over her head, the wind from its wings ruffling her hair. "Looks like Daddy left you with a fear of heights."

"This is promising." A loud crack split the air followed by a horrible, deep rumbling and the building began to fall away brick by brick and then in huge chunks until all that was left was the elevator shaft and Alice's viewer. As the ground gave way under her, the girl stood on the foot bar - there so children and short people like herself could reach the binoculars. The only thing holding her up now was the pole to the device, which stretched impossibly long down into the rubble of the building and rocked sickeningly a few inches this way, a few more that.

"No! Oh, God, please!" She pleaded, shaking all over and sweating profusely. This couldn't be happening! It couldn't be… no, it couldn't be happening, could it? Orange and purple skies and giant bumble bees? The Truth Room must be some kind of hologram. The Tweedles got into your head and used your worst fears against you, but it wasn't real. "It's not real," she said to herself, out loud to give the words more weight. The ground hadn't really fallen away. She was still perfectly safe in a room in the casino. Alright, not perfectly safe, but not in danger of falling half a mile to her death.

She pried her fingers off the metal mounting. Okay, all she had to do was step down and her foot would meet solid ground. No problem. She stepped off the bar and fell. The shock of the fall, when she had been so certain there wouldn't be one, was twice as bad as if she had simply fallen. That was Wonderland logic that flitted through her head as she dropped with a shriek. Twisting in mid-fall, she grabbed for the bar, struggling to get a secure grip on the thin iron ring.

"It's real!" she yelped to her captors.

One of them directed his insect mount to hover beside her. "Of course, it's real," he said with contempt at her stupidity in assuming otherwise.

"But I'll die!" the girl screeched.

"Undoubtedly," the other man agreed, still zooming in slow circles above, popping the large bubbles that floated up from below.

"But the ring!" she protested. Both men shrugged.

"It's not our ring," the one nearest her said uncaringly.

His brother agreed, "We don't care."

"Besides, this is much more fun," the first added with glee.

"You're crazy!" Alice squeaked. They were supposed to get information out of her, not just kill her off!

"Clinically insane," the circling Tweedle confirmed, pulling his bee up into a loop-de-loop. Of course they were, they were Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Insanity was kind of their selling point. Her heart was racing a million beats per minute and, though she panted heavily, she couldn't get any oxygen. After a few abjectly petrifying seconds that felt like hours, days, Alice managed to haul herself up, sitting her butt on the foot bar, arms and legs wrapped around the pole.

"Ah! She's back up!" The closer man zipped away. Apparently, Alice wasn't the only one happy to keep her existence going a little longer, but she doubted the good doctor was pleased for the same reason.

"If you kill me, the Queen won't get her ring," she reminded them, fear and desperation driving her voice up several octaves.

"So, tell us where it is," coming out of his loop, the other twin dive-bombed straight for her, pulling up at the last second.

"Not until you get me the fuck out of here," the girl countered. The men snorted.

"If you don't tell us, we may as well kill you," said one.

"And then we'll just have to tell the Queen it was an accident," the other added.

"It happens all the time."

"But this is different," she insisted, trying to get through to them. "If you mess up, she'll kill you."

"Again?" The single word stopped her heart altogether. Mad March had been beheaded a year before, hadn't he? But there he was, running around with a ceramic bunny head. Death didn't necessarily mean the end in Wonderland, not if the Queen decided she liked having you around enough.

"The pole is holding her up," this twin was slowly circling below Alice.

"So it is," the other mused. "What would happen if it disappeared, I wonder?"

Alice gasped as the paint began to flake off the metal pillar. Rust bubbled up from underneath with a soft sizzling sound. The post groaned and started to shiver as it began to lose integrity. With a shriek of metal, the viewer broke loose of its mount, missing Alice by a thread as it fell passed her and down forever.

"Alright! I'll tell you!" she screamed.

"Be quick about it," the man nearest her snapped impatiently.

His partner chimed in, "It has a mind of its own."

"I have to write it down," she lied, trying anything to get them to put her on solid ground again. When they looked dubious, she added. "It's complicated; I need to draw a map."

"A map?" Tweedle Whichever asked, his bee turning upside-down as he peered at her.

"It's the only way to find it," she persisted. The man sighed.

"Oh, ho hum, very well. If you must." "Very well" were suddenly the most wonderful words in the English language. Until a desk appeared before her out of nowhere. No! Dammit, they were supposed to put her back on terra firma! Fuck! But, she had to keep up the game or else they'd drop her. Her whole body was shaking and it took every ounce of self control for her to let go of the post with even one hand, but she did it. Worried she would drop the pen the provided, Alice put it to the paper with no idea of what she was going to write.

Any place would do, really, but somewhere difficult to get to would be best. Once she gave up the location, the Queen would keep her locked up while she had her Suits retrieve the ring. The woman was no fool, she wouldn't dispose of her captive before she was absolutely certain to have no further use for the girl. On the other hand, that entire scenario was dependent upon the twin "doctors" not just letting her fall once she finished writing it out.

Then, a flash of brilliance. A way to get her out of the room and back in her world all in one fell swoop. Foregoing the lie about drawing a map, Alice began to write. Safety deposit box 248, Empire National Bank, 51st street, New York City, New York. If the Queen wanted her ring back, she'd have to bring Alice to that bank to do it, as only she would be granted access. Or so the girl would say. Once in the bank, she could scream her head off for help. Again, this all depended on the reasonableness of the twins.

She was as good as dead, Alice realized. Nothing would stop the two from having their fun, no matter what she told them. Her shaking intensified and her eyes teared up. All she could think about was the fall to come, all the time she would have on the way down to think about what it felt like to have every bone in your body broken at once.

SHUNK! "Whoa!" Her head snapped up so fast the girl cracked her temple on the rusting post.

"Hatter!" she cried, near faint with joy. She had never been so happy to see anyone in her entire life.

"Who's that?" a twin demanded from top his bee.

"Go away!" the other ordered, incensed at having his play interrupted. "This is a private session."

Her savior pushed the elevator doors wide, holding on with one hand and extending the other to the girl. "Jump," he commanded.

Alice scrambled onto the desk and stood on trembling legs. Jump, he said. A simple enough directive, especially with only a few feet between them, yet those few feet may as well have been the Grand Canyon so far as she was concerned.

"Get rid of him!" one brother shouted to the other, making a pass at Hatter on his bumblebee.

She couldn't do it. There was no way. But, she had to, or she would die. Closing her eyes, the girl held her breath and leapt, trusting Hatter to catch her. He did. With an "oof", he took the impact of her landing, wrapping his arms securely around her and falling back into the elevator.

"Alice," the man said from beneath her. He caught her face in his hands, looking into her eyes worriedly. "You okay?"

She could only nod, unable to speak just yet. The bees were too large to enter the elevator car, so the twins could only zoom back and forth before the door in impotent outrage.

"Sound the alarm! Call the guards!" they yelled. Charlie was in the elevator too, moaning and murmuring to himself as he ran his hands over the flat steel walls, seemingly searching for something.

"How did you find me?"

Hatter shook his head and released her, spreading his hands in mutual bewilderment. "I dunno. Ask Charlie."

"Believe it or not," the paladin said calmly, not looking from his task. "We're in your head." She believed it. The question is, how would they get out of her head?

"You'll not get away so easy!" hollered a Tweedle. The car suddenly dropped. Alice screamed as a horrible feeling of weightlessness flooded her. Hatter's arms came around her again.

"Charlie!" he shouted. "Hurry up!"

The old man, however, was completely unphased by their shrieking descent. Wind whipped around the open elevator as they fell impossibly fast to earth, the rubble which was all that remained of the building growing ever closer. Then, a muted click and a section of the wall swung open. Hatter scrambled to his feet, pulling Alice up with him.

Charlie stood aside, politely waving the others through first. He victoriously proclaimed, "Sanctus deo!" Whatever that meant. Not two steps into the hall, a massive crash thundered from inside the room, a cloud of dust billowing out through the doorway.

"Come on." Hatter grabbed her hand and they were off and running. Alice's legs were still a bit shaky, but she managed to keep up well enough with his long legged stride. Charlie brought up the rear, clanking and clattering his way down the hall behind them. Her rescuer seemed to know where he was going and led the trio to a stairway that brought them, finally, to the ground floor. They rushed across the lobby, the main entrance and freedom beyond in their sights. Unfortunately, between them and the exit was a small army of Suits, at least twenty of them.

"Bollocks!" Hatter barked, skidding to a stop. They turned to go back, but more suits had followed them down the stairs.

"This way!" Charlie directed, rushing towards an elevator that had just unloaded. The other two followed after, just barely making it inside before the doors slid shut. They could hear the Suits banging on the doors and shouting. Hatter jabbed the button for the roof and the elevator rose, the commotion outside fading away to be replaced by soft musak.

"Up? Why up?" Alice demanded. Like she hadn't have enough of elevators and going up today? Hatter balked at the question.

"Do we have a choice?" Of course, they didn't. From the ground floor there was nowhere to go but up, unfortunately.

"Alice of Legend," Charlie suddenly began grandly. "You're presence in this world is no accident. You ware here for a reason."

Not this again. "God, Charlie, no. It's just plain Alice," she insisted. She certainly wasn't any legend.

"Justplainalice,-" Son of a bitch. "-I shall stand at your side. Shoulder to shoulder. Knee to-"

"Charlie!" Hatter interjected, trying to stop the knight's incessant yammering.

"-wobbly knee," the old man finished his thought anyway.

"Now's not such a good time," the younger implored. Now that she was on relatively stable footing and, for the moment, not being chased by men with guns, Alice had a chance to think straight.

"You shouldn't have come after me!" she told the men sharply. Hadn't she left them behind specifically so they wouldn't get caught back up in this whole mess? "You could get yourselves killed!"

"Did you give the ring up, Alice?" Hatter asked, ignoring her reproof. Shit. That's what it was about. They hadn't found the ring and thought she still had it. Apparently, her hiding place was a bit better than she'd intended.

"You think I'd still be alive if I had?" she retorted. "I'm not stupid, Hatter." Yet, all signs point to the contrary. "I had everything under control."

He was nice enough not to point out what a load of crap that last bit was. "You tried to cut a deal with the Queen didn't you?"

Yes. And it failed miserably, but the way he acted like she was an idiot rankled hard. "I was getting close," she insisted defensively.

"Getting close?" his voice actually cracked, so great was his incredulity at her statement. "Maybe I'm wrong, but negotiations didn't appear to be going so well."

"I just needed a little more time," Alice protested. Which was true, to an extent, if her plan had worked.

"For what?" The man demanded, growing angry at her persistent naivety. "You really think the Queen is just gonna send you and your boyfriend home?"

"No," she admitted unhappily, all that had happened in the throne room rushing back full force.

"No, of course not," Hatter insisted, but she cut him off before he could berate her any more.

"Because he's her son."

The man stopped, obviously unsure of what he'd just heard. His voice was almost a normal volume when he inquired, "The prince?" She nodded miserably. "Jack Heart?" He tried again, apparently to make entirely sure they were talking about the same person. When she looked away, his voice rose again. "Jack Heart is your boyfriend?!"

She looked up at him, opening her mouth to tell him she was sorry, so sorry for getting him mixed up in this, all over a man who didn't even need rescuing. But the elevator stopped and the doors parted, drawing the attention of two Suits standing guard on the roof.

"Oh no," Charlie lamented softly. With a last glance at her, Hatter stepped from the elevator and made a beeline for one of the two Suits. The other came after Alice. Charlie stepped between them, waving her back. "Behind me, Alice."

She would have left the knight to deal with his opponent then, because Hatter was on the losing end of his own fight, but when Charlie went to draw his sword, the old blade stuck. He tried in vain to unsheathe the weapon until the Suit decked him, knocking the old man to the ground. Bastard, Alice thought angrily, protective of the elderly knight. She squared off with the Suit, an Ace. The man swung a fist at her, which she evaded easily, thrusting her forearm against his throat. He choked and staggered back, leaving his whole body open to attack. Alice wasn't about to let such an generous offering go to waste. She landed a wicked blow to his kidney, throwing a follow up punch to his stomach when he arched back in agony. As he jackknifed forward again, the she brought up her knee, bloodying the man's mouth and dropping him to the ground.

With her Ace reasonably incapacitated, Alice turned to rush to aide Hatter, who was being choked, bent back over the stone wall of the ledge, but he didn't need her. She'd dispatched her attacker just in time to see the former Tea Shop owner slam his fist into the ribs of his assailant. The Ace grunted and Hatter slipped from his hold, smashing the man's face into the stone. As Alice watched, he wiped his bloody lip and retrieved his fallen hat, then turned back to the man who was blinking dazedly. Yes, Hatter had a flair for the dramatic and it seemed it translated into everything he did. Held his hat in his right hand and flicked his wrist, sending the thing spinning upwards to be caught by his raised left. Then, punched the Ace dead in the face with what Owl had referred to as his sledgehammer. The man dropped like a stone, nose and mouth bleeding profusely, jaw at an odd angle and at least one tooth missing.

"Shit on a stick," Alice breathed, reverting to her foulmouthed youth for a moment. She was so focused on Hatter that the girl didn't notice her own fallen Ace beginning to rise. Charlie seized the opportunity to regain a bit of his lost pride from the stuck sword incident. He strode up to the kneeling man.

"Bow to the hand of Diocles," he commanded, catching Alice's attention. He then knocked the man on top of his head with a closed fist. The Ace flopped back to the ground once more.

"What now?" Alice asked her liberators. They were still stuck on a roof with an army of Suits after them. The Queen's airship loomed menacingly overhead. Hatter didn't seem to have an answer until he looked around and his eyes fell on a trio of pink vehicles of some kind.

"We get on one of those," he said and headed for them. Charlie and Alice followed. The old knight simpered in glee over the contraption, but Alice didn't get it. It looked like a hot pink jet ski… with a flamingo head?

"Articulated birds of the Empyrean," the White Knight exclaimed. "What genius!"

"Get on," Hatter instructed, going back to the fallen Aces to grab up their sunglasses. Alice put two and two together.

"Wait, these things fly?"

Coming back, the younger man handed Charlie one of the pairs of glasses. The paladin accepted them joyously and mounted his own pink nightmare. As he got on another, Hatter told her, "We don't have time to think, Alice, just get on."

She never moved. "No, no, no. I'm not getting on that."

"You don't have another choice," he insisted. He pushed the sunglasses at her. "Here, you'll need these."

She shoved his hand back. "No, you don't understand. I can't fly that thing."

"Fine, get on with me then." As though that was the problem. "I'll do the flying, all you have to do is hold on."

"I'm not getting on that death trap."

Hatter scoffed. "It's perfectly safe!"

Alice scoffed right back. "It doesn't even have seatbelts!"

"Safe-ish," he amended. She stepped back, but he caught her forearm.

"I've got a thing about flying," the girl insisted even though she knew full well it was a stupid argument. It wasn't fair of him to save her from one terrifying situation just to force another version of the same thing onto her. Several loud pops came from down the roof and all three turned to find they were no longer alone, the Suits had caught up and were opening fire on them.

"Yeah? I've got a thing about bullets," Hatter snarked pointedly. He was right, but she just couldn't- "Look at me." She did as he said, meeting those dark eyes. "I wouldn't let you do it, if I didn't think you'd be okay."

And just like that, she got on the machine behind him. She knew he wouldn't let her do something stupid and dangerous. She trusted him. Hatter put on the sunglasses and… stopped.

"How do you get it to fly," Charlie pondered.

"You don't know how to fly it?!" Alice demanded. So much for trusting him.

"Of course, I do!" her pilot insisted. He had been in the Royal Guard after all. "It's just been a while." Fuck me, sideways. "Red button."

The knight punched said button on the back of the flamingo head and took off like a shot, zipping away into the sky towards the city. Her eyes rounded. "That's fast." Not that she minded going fast, particularly, just when it was done on a flying skidoo a thousand feet off the ground.

"Oh yeah," the man agreed. "Hold on."

She snatched the hat off his head, knowing it would blow away if someone didn't hold onto it, and wrapped her arms around him, holding on for dear life as he pressed the button and they zoomed away after Charlie.

"Alice! Alice! Stop screaming!"

She hadn't even realized she was doing it, but stopped. Hatter grunted, shifting on the seat. "Stop moving!" Alice shouted at him.

"You're crushing my ribs," he informed her. Miraculously, the girl managed to loosen her grip just a little, enough that he stopped squirming. Out of nowhere, he suddenly asked, "I suppose it's his lofty airs and graces, huh?"

"What?"

"Jack," he clarified. He wanted to talk about that now?!

"He doesn't have airs and graces," she insisted. It was half true, her Jack didn't have airs. The one she'd been so rudely introduced to in the throne room certainly had, though.

"Really?" Hatter retorted dubiously. "Well, what then?"

What the Hell was he asking her? Why she had fallen for Jack? "Are you kidding me? Just shut your hole and keep your eyes on the sky!" she shouted. What an ass! She was so irritated, she forgot about her fear for a moment. Maybe that was his intent? Knowing Hatter, probably not.

"We are angels!" Charlie suddenly shouted, sounding very much like he was enjoying himself, the bastard. "The wind and clouds at our command! Oh, heavenly joy!" He leaned back, throwing one hand out in bliss, but that threw off the balance of his bird, startling him into resuming paying proper attention to his piloting. If she hadn't been so scared, Alice might have found it funny. But she was. With eyes squeezed shut tight, the girl pressed her face against Hatter's back, between his shoulder blades. If she didn't look, she could pretend they were just on a motorcycle or something, not on a minijet that sounded like a lawnmower.

A strange bursting sound made her look up once more, thinking Charlie had done something else foolish and broken his flamingo. But no, he was fine, the sound was coming from behind them. She looked back and moaned despondently.

"Aces," Hatter exclaimed. That's right, Aces. Two of them, gaining fast and shooting at the three escapees with some manner of modified twelve gauge. They were sitting ducks, to coin a phrase. No where to go and no weapons of their own. A loud ping stopped her heart and was followed up by a direct hit to Charlie's bird. Black smoke billowed from the engine as the vehicle dropped fast.

"I'm going doooooooown!" the knight yelled.

"Charlie!" Hatter shouted.

"No!" Alice reached for him, tilting the flamingo. Hatter struggled to correct the dip. It didn't matter. One more shot from the pursuing Aces and they were hit, as well. The bird shuddered horribly under her and the girl screamed again as they fell out of the sky.

It was her worst nightmare come true as the lake came rushing up to meet them. Regardless of how tightly she was holding Hatter, the second they hit the water, he was wrenched from her grasp. She might as well have hit solid rock. Alice tried to cry out, but water rushed eagerly into her mouth and nose, filling her lungs with cold death. She wanted to struggle, she wanted to fight, but she never had a chance. She sank down and down into the silent, black abyss.


When the good doctor said "Your daddy left you with a fear of heights", I thought there was more to it than that. When there wasn's, I was bummed. So, I made my own reason. Hope you liked my tweaking of the Tweedles. I thought they needed to be a bit more ridiculous.