CH9.

EDMUND POV.

It's been two months since I left. Two months since I said goodbye to her on that warm summer day. I miss the warmth. I miss her too. I missed her the moment I no longer felt her body next to mine. I missed the feeling of warmth that filled me every time I looked at her. I missed her soft violet eyes. I missed her hand intertwined with mine. I missed going on long rides or walks together. I missed splashing in the sea or in our waterfall with her. I missed her laugh, and how her eyes would sparkle. I missed all of her. I mostly missed just being with her. Whether that was glancing at her from across the table and giving her a playful kick or running through the halls with her. Or just lying on our backs looking at the clouds in our meadow, with her head lightly placed on my shoulder. My soul ached for her. I had never felt this way before. I missed my siblings of course, but I could bear being separated, I had been many other times. But this time…I felt like I had left a piece of me behind in Cair Paravel.

Was she missing me? She said she would. A cold gust of wind blew through the tent and brought a large amount of snow through the opening. It was so cold up here. The snow was everywhere and the wind would bite at any piece of exposed skin. I wondered what they were all doing, back at home. Knowing Peter, he was probably shut up in his office looking over maps or signing papers, he works so hard, but it was evening now. He might be sitting in one of the girls' rooms by the fire. Maybe they were reading a book, or just talking. That's somewhat of a tradition for us. It's rare we ever sleep in our own rooms for longer than a few nights. We are always usually sneaking off to one another's room, looking for a confidant or someone to joke with, or just to be together; it can get lonely in the big castle at night. Sometimes we all pile into one king size bed and look at maps or read stories, or just reminisce about old times. I wonder if those traditions now included Reyna. She would love hearing all of the stories about Narnia.

I imagined them all: the girls sitting on Lucy or Susan's giant bed with scrolls strewn over the covers. Lucy would probably be looking over one with a tale of a knight and a fair maid. Susan would be reading one with boring dresses or something about fashion and would occasionally glance over at Lucy's scroll. I could picture Reyna, lying on her stomach with her feet kicking off the bed peering over the different scrolls wondering which to choose first. I could see Peter gently tap on the door and sneak in quietly. I could see him place a gentle hand on the small of Reyna's back as he sat down on the bed to look at the scrolls she was reading. He would point out interesting things to her and to the girls and they would all laugh and have a wonderful time. As I thought about all of this happening a horrible feeling of longing and jealousy came over me. I wanted to be there with them, teaching Reyna about the history and culture of Narnia. The jealousy soon faded, but the longing still remained.

I guess there was always this kind of rivalry between Pete and me. We never got along before we came to Narnia. I always felt like I was standing in his shadow; like everyone always looked straight through me and up to him, for everything. When my dad went off to war, my mother looked to Peter to become the 'man of the house' and take care of everyone. She always thought of me as so much younger than him, when in reality I was only three years younger. Even when we first came to Narnia, Aslan chose him as High King. Since being in Narnia, we haven't had any major fights or jealousy. After I spent time with the Witch, I realized how much I needed my siblings for strength. When Aslan rescued me, he and I had a long talk about behavior and integrity and what makes a man truly a man, and ever since then those fears of rejection and longing to be in the spotlight have faded. Pete and I were able to look past all of our previous quarrels and realize that we actually had a lot in common.

Ever since then, he's been my best mate. We have never really bickered about girls. Honestly, in the nine years we had been in Narnia, we've never fought over a girl once. Peter never really seemed to be bothered by girls. I mean they ALWAYS fell for him, but he never really batted an eye at them. He was really similar to Susan in that way. Neither of them seemed really interested in romantic relationships. I guess they just haven't found anyone who they liked enough to explore that kind of a relationship with. Lucy though she is seventeen, still seems too young for relationships. She just loves everyone unconditionally.

There was one girl, a few years back, who caught my eye. Reyna actually reminds me a lot of her. Her name was Anneliese. She was a Calormen noblewoman. She and her brother had come to stay with us and while she was in Cair Paravel we got to spend a lot of time together. Honestly, I thought she was the one I was going to marry. We fell in love fast and hard. I wanted to spend every second of the day with her. Her presence was intoxicating. We even started planning for our future and discussing our wedding plans until her brother found out about us and threw a huge fit. I guess, he had plans for her to marry another nobleman in Calormen. They left the next day. I didn't even get to say goodbye...I was pretty devastated for a while. That's kind of when I became a bit of a recluse. Whenever visiting emissaries would come to visit, I would always do my best to stay as far away from them as possible. I would go to the meetings with Pete, Susan, and Lu, but other than that I'd sneak off into the library and spend my time there until they left. I didn't really want to risk opening up my heart to someone again, until Reyna, that is.

I didn't even mean to. She is just such an easy presence to be around, and I found myself opening up to her against my will. Another pang of longing went through my body and reminded me why I had built my walls up for so long. Opening yourself up to another person, meant risking getting hurt. I knew Reyna would never intentionally try to hurt me, she was way to kind-hearted for that, but sometimes you can't help hurting the people you love. Not that she loves me. Or that I love her. Oh you get the idea. You don't get to choose who you love, it just kind of happens.

A call from one of my soldiers aroused me out of my reverie and I stood to receive him. The aching in my chest did not go away.

"Your Majesty." He said as he entered the tent, I could see it was Lumencious. He was a noble and wise centaur of about 4,000 years.

"Lumencious, what news?"

"My lord, the scouts have returned with slightly startling reports."

"I see, what do they say?" My stomach started to twist, fearing what he would say.

"Shall I call them in, my lord?"

"Yes, do." As I saw him go, my breath started to quicken. I had sent scouts out to reconnoiter the giant's camps. Our journey had been long and tiring, it had taken a month and a half to get here. The cold conditions and unpredictable snowstorms and avalanches caused us to move with great caution. I hate the snow. It reminds me too much of her. The tent rustled and two scouts entered with the centaur, and another man who I had never seen before. There were a range of emotions crossing their faces, and I couldn't read any of them. I paused for a moment waiting for them to speak. When they didn't right off I said, "Well, what did you find?"

"Your Majesty, I'm afraid it's not good news." Great, just what I wanted to hear. I thought sarcastically.

"The giants' forces are much larger than we anticipated and it appears that the sorceress who is helping them has incredible strength." I felt my body tense and asked, "Is it Jadis? Has she returned?" The entire tent remained silent for a few moments. Finally, fed up with the silence I beat his fists down on the table and exclaimed, "IS IT HER?"

"We believe so, Your Majesty." I felt the energy go out of my body and my knees buckled. I sank heavily into my chair, sighing. How is this possible? How can she return? Is it really her or a different reincarnation? If it is her, is she stronger or weaker than before? A flurry of questions were blowing through my mind and I had no idea of any of their answers.

"Majesty? Do you think we should send word back to the High King and Queens? Should we call for reinforcements?" Lumencious asked, hesitant to disturb me from my thoughts.

"No." I said adamantly, I didn't need Peter's help, besides, I wanted to be sure it was her before I called home. "Not yet. I need to be sure its Jadis." All of the men in the tent tensed, and even I was surprised at the dark tone my voice carried. I took in a calming breath steeling myself for anything that lay ahead.

"Well boys, it looks like we are going on a witch hunt." I said, determination in my heart.

REYNA POV.

I missed him. He hadn't been gone that long, only about two months. It felt like a lifetime since I saw him last. Since I felt his fingers gently run over mine. I had missed him the moment he left my side. It was like he took a piece of me with him, and I didn't understand it. We hadn't been acquainted that long before he left. A little over two months. We had known each other two months before he left, and yet I found myself missing him with a vehemence that didn't make sense. I shouldn't feel like this. There was just something about him. Something that made me trust him the first second I saw his face, staring down at me with that concerned look in his brown eyes…His beautiful brown eyes… They were brown like deep rich dark chocolate. I could just drown in them whenever he looked at me. I felt my cheeks flush. What? What is going on with me? I just miss him, I miss my best friend, that's all.

In the two months that he's been gone I've gotten to know the other three Pevensies quite well. Sometimes I spend my days with Susan and Lucy doing things around the castle, visiting and getting to know the citizens of Narnia. Sometimes we paint or do shoot arrows. They've also been showing me how to fight with my daggers. I was trained in a minimal amount of combat when I was younger, mostly by my brothers. My father didn't think it was proper for women to fight. He thought they belonged in the home and not on the battle field, but every now and then my brothers would give me some self-defense lessons. They always teased me and said I could use them in case any unwanted suitors came my way.

Susan and Lucy were very skilled with weapons, however. They and their brothers spent quite a bit of time sparring to make sure all of them could take care of themselves and have their siblings' back. I really enjoy learning to fight. It makes me feel empowered and self-reliant. I am by no means a master, but at least I *hopefully* will be able to handle myself in a fight now and won't have to completely rely on others to protect me. Sometimes Peter even came out and showed me a few things. He told me he hadn't forgot his promise to teach me baseball, but things were just so busy, plus he said he'd need Ed to help him. I had agreed to wait until Edmund returned.

With the amount of time I spent with the girls, I think I spent even more time with Peter. Whenever I wasn't messing about with the girls, I found myself by his side. I would go sit in his office and watch him pour over documents or maps. He would take me to meetings with him about kingdom affairs. He always asked my opinion and was open to listening to things from my point of view. He didn't ask people's opinions because he was an inept leader who couldn't make decisions, but because he wanted to make sure that he wasn't only seeing things from his perspective. He works too hard, but he won't lighten up his load. I have to remind him to take breaks every couple of hours.

He's worried about Edmund, I can tell. I think he feels guilty about letting Ed go to Ettinsmoor on his own. He told me that this is the first time he hasn't gone to battle with his brother. I can tell he misses him terribly. His blue eyes don't sparkle as much, and more often than not these days a frown creases his forehead. I don't like seeing him like this.

One day, I came upon him in his office. I had knocked but maybe I hadn't knocked loud enough or maybe he just didn't hear me. I pushed open the door and saw him sitting bent over with his elbows on his desk, he had his head and shoulders bowed and a hand on either side of his head. I remember, he looked completely defeated in that moment. I went over to him and stood behind him, if he heard me approach, he didn't look up. I put my hands on his shoulders and squeezed gently. His body stiffened a bit and then relaxed as he leaned back into my touch. His head moved back to rest on the back of the chair and he reached around to grab my arms, all without opening his eyes. He didn't open them until I was seated gently on his lap. He pulled me close and just sat there for a few moments cradling my body in his arms. Even though he had been holding me, I felt like he was the one who needed to be held. He needed comfort. He was tired and worried. I traced the frown lines on his brow and frowned in return.

When he felt this, he nudged my chin with his head and simply squeezed me tighter. After a while, he had whispered, "I don't like him being gone. He thinks it's because I don't trust him. I do trust him. I just feel like I've abandoned him to go it alone. It doesn't feel right."

At this my left hand came up around his neck and shoulders and I let my head rest next to his. I don't know how long we sat like that missing Edmund.

Susan and Lu notice his absence too.

We truly are becoming the closest of friends. Growing up, I didn't really have any friends who were girls. Come to think of it I didn't really have any friends at all, well other than my brothers… But they're gone now. A pang of fear shot through me. Whenever I thought of them now, my thoughts would fly to Edmund. What if he was dead? What if he was lying on the battlefield soaked in blood? My breathing started to increase. Susan placed a soft hand on my knee and I looked up at her. She had compassion in her eyes and I could tell she knew what I was thinking about, she was thinking about it too.

Susan was not like other girls. She had a way of knowing what you were thinking without having to say it. She could just look at you and then BANG! She knew what was bothering you and how to comfort you. She was always so gentle and kind and just... loving. If I had to describe her in one word it would be that. Love. She exudes it from every pore in her body. On first glance you might not think it, especially because she does such a great job of hiding it, but she cares deeply for everyone around her. Lucy's love is really outspoken, she exclaims it and pronounces it all the time. Susan shows her love through smaller, often unspoken ways. Everyone she comes in contact with feels it and is immediately lifted. It's no wonder every man who talks to her (or even just sees her) falls in love with her. I am surprised that she hasn't married yet. It's definitely not from a lack of suitors, that's for sure! It's like everyday a new one comes to solicit her hand in marriage. Peter just looks to Susan and she sizes them up with her careful gaze. If she thinks they have promise she will nod and take them on a walk in the garden, this always ends with the suitors leaving downcast though. She lets them down easy, though. Making sure that they know that it's not them, but her. She has always had this premonition that she would know exactly who she was going to be with. She says Aslan told her that in a dream.

- Flashback -

I watched the young man go, feeling sorry for his loss. I glanced at Peter – who was seated behind a desk across the room, he had a sort of wistful look in his eyes. Susan came walking in from the side garden slowly, weighing a pink rose in her hands. After walking into the room and placing the rose on Pete's desk, she came and returned to her place next to me on the couch and gave me a smile.

"Hey, Su?" I asked. She looked at me and said, "Yeah?"

"Why do you always send them away?" I felt like a child asking such a stupid question, it was obviously because she didn't like them.

"Because they are not right." She replied. I looked at her with a confused look. "It's not because they have any major character flaws – although some of them do – or physical deficiencies, I just know they're the one for me." I looked at her again, with a skeptical look.

"How do you 'know?'" She laughed at my tone. Lucy scoffed from her place on the floor under the table with her book. Peter and Lucy exchanged a smiling glance. They had obviously had this discussion before and had the same reaction as I.

"I don't know how I know… I just do. It's almost like someone is telling me, 'Susan, even though you may like this one, he is not the right fit.' When the right man comes, I will know him." She said confidently.

"How do you know you haven't missed him?" I asked. She gave me a serious look and said, "Aslan." Just that single word sent shivers down my spine. The other two Pevensies looked up – Peter from his scroll and Lucy from her book – this must be news to them.

"What about Aslan, Susan?" Peter asked, guarded excitement undertones in his voice.

"Has he come to see you?" Lucy's eyes light up, and I could almost feel the energy pulsing from her.

"No. Well, at least not in person." Susan said, both Peter and Lucy deflated a bit, but I could still tell they were intrigued. "He came to me in a dream, a few years back. Before the suitors started to come so often. He told me that I shouldn't worry about finding myself the correct suitor. He said that He would choose one for me; one who would be my perfect match. When I asked Him how I would know who this man was, he replied with, 'Trust in me, my daughter. You will know.' So, I am waiting. Waiting for the time to come when I know."

- End Flashback -

Susan's hand was still placed comfortingly on my knee. My breathing had calmed and I placed my hand on top of hers giving it a gentle squeeze of thanks. We were sitting in the Apple Orchard, off of the Great Hall. I always loved this place, it smelled lovely and always seemed to have a pleasant effect on anyone who entered. The crispness of Autumn was in the air and the leaves were beginning to fall. Lucy was lying on the grass with one leg crossed over the other, her dress slightly falling – it was not a very ladylike position, but none of us cared – reading a book. That was how she dealt with missing Ed. She read. Lucy told me that Ed and she loved to read together when they were younger and whenever Ed went away she would dig up one of the books they loved and would read through it. She said it makes her feel like he's there with her. Right now, she had a book called Great Expectations, I had no idea what it was about. She tried to explain it to me once but I couldn't understand it really.

Susan had returned to her needlework, I knew that I should return to mine, but I just couldn't. I couldn't focus, my mind was too far away. I stood up, pulled my shawl a little tighter around my body and walked away from the place under the trees where we girls were sitting. In the center of the orchard there was a bit of a clearing, the trees were not planted as closely together. You could move around quite easily with a comfortable amount of room. I lifted my face to the sky and felt the sun shining down on me, warming my entire body. I closed my eyes and just stood there, face upturned, hands stretched out, and eyes closed. Just feeling the breeze and smelling the Narnian air.

Narnian wind had an odd way of sometimes making a song when it blew. It would pick up and faintly you would hear music. I can't explain it, but somehow it happened. I heard a faint song playing in the wind and started to sway gently to the music. I kicked off my shoes and began to dig my toes into the soft grass as I let the music take over, my eyes still squeezed shut. As the music began to become clearer, I could hear that it was a lively tune like a jig playing. I began to sway faster and to move my feet, spinning around. Soon I was prancing and spinning all throughout the orchard, not really paying any attention to where I was going, just letting the music guide me. When Lucy and Susan heard the music, they got up and began to dance about with me as well. Our dresses and hair were flying like wild and we were all laughing. We hadn't laughed like this since before Edmund left.

The music picked up and the tune became even livelier than before. I just started spinning in place. Spinning and spinning. Spinning and spinning. And all the sudden, I felt strong arms encompass my waist and someone was spinning with me. His large hands were calloused and warm. I knew it was Peter. I felt the smile on my face grow even brighter than before and I opened my eyes. His eyes looked like the ocean in the sunshine. We pranced and danced and continued to spin around. We spun so fast that my feet lifted off the ground. I was flying! When he placed me back on the ground my foot twisted in-between his legs and he lost his balance, we toppled to the ground laughing. We laughed until our ribs ached. He still had his arms wrapped around my waist and our legs were all mixed together. When we had both caught our breath, I rolled off of him and onto the grass beside him. Lucy and Susan plopped down beside us. We just lay there together, all looking up at the azure colored sky, watching as the clouds made little shapes. Susan soon nodded off, letting the warmth of the sun lull her to sleep. I could hear her even, calm breath as she dozed.

Peter took a sharp intake of breath and I looked at him curiously. He was looking at me with an odd look on his face. It was a mixture of different emotions which made it difficult to read. It seemed almost melancholy. The breeze blew some of his golden hair into his face. It had grown a bit longer and now hung down in front of his eyes in places. He hadn't had time to get it cut. I reminded myself to cut it later. Dark stubble had formed on his chin and cheeks and dark circles were under his eyes. Carefully, I reached my hand up and swiped the hair out of his eyes, before gently placing my thumb over the dark circles, caressing them tenderly. His eyes closed and he breathed a sigh of contentment; his brow relaxing minutely.

"Peter..." I said softly. "You're not taking care of yourself." He opened his eyes looking just a bit confused for a moment, then recognition showed in his features.

"I will, Rey. Besides, I've got you three to remind me every day!" He laughed gently.

"Pete…You have to stop worrying. Ed will send word when there is news."

"Rey, I'm getting nervous. We haven't heard from him in over a month!" He had turned back to looking at the sky. I cupped my hand over his cheek and turned his head so he was facing me.

"He'll be okay. You told me it takes at least a month to even get there. I'm sure he and his soldiers have pretty much just arrived and are getting situated. Trust him." I tried to put as much confidence in those words as I could, but truth be told, I was worried too. He smiled softly before lifting his hand to cover mine. He then propped himself up on his elbow and leaned over me. I remembered the last time he did this, I knew he was going to kiss my lips then. Instead of leaning down to my lips, however, he just slowly placed the softest of kisses to my cheek. He hovered above my head for a moment before bringing his forehead down to touch mine. His hand was still holding mine to his cheek. His eyes were closed and the wind was blowing his hair. He was so tantalizingly close to me. I felt utterly and completely safe. I was intensely aware of his every movement: the way his chest was easily moving up and down, the feel of his large calloused hands touching my head, my neck, and my cheek, his bicep muscle moving minutely to keep his body balanced. I felt every detail. In that moment, everything seemed to fade away; to become dull. It was like a bubble encompassed us and was blocking out everything else from interfering. I lost awareness of the wind blowing and the birds chirping and the smells of autumn, instead I felt his hair caressing my face and heard his steady heartbeat and breathed the same air he did.

Then, almost as if he had been woken from his reverie he opened his eyes and moved away. I let out a breath that I hadn't known I had been holding. As he stood he looked down at me and smiled his dazzling smile. When he started to walk away, he gently let my hand slip from his. Finger by finger. Each time I felt a part of his hand leave mine, I also felt a piece of warmth leave with it. He turned and began walking back into the castle, back to his worrying and back to his work. I gazed after him with a feeling of loss taking the position he had just left. When he had disappeared inside the castle I looked down and saw Lucy looking at me with a knowing look in her eyes.

"What are you looking at, you goof?" I said before pulling her up again to dance with me