Kushina yawned, and realized with a start that Shinigami-sama had highjacked her again. She spotted Minato and a few cameras nearby. So she kicked her husband awake and pointed at a certain pervert walking along the street. Minato grinned and took up the camera. A man passing by slipped something into Jiraiya's pocket without saying a word.
Jiraiya headed out of town to read the orders, and the moment he finished the first sentence he frowned.
'Jiraiya,
I've received reliable reports that state that Minato may still be alive. I want you to check the Toad Contract to see if his name is still on it. If it is I want you to report back in the village so we can possibly try and contact him.
Sarutobi.'
Jiraiya summoned the Toad that held the contract for him (it was too much of a target for enemy nins. Contracts with any animal were rather valuable.) and took out the scroll.
The moment he unfurled it, his face grew pale as a ghost. There, right beside his name was the name Namikaze Minato. It was glowing the same as his own, which could only mean that the one who signed the contract was still alive.
He turned. He heard the sound of odd clicking that was usually associated with cameras, but he could see nothing there.
Meanwhile Kushina and Minato were laughing their asses off at the look on Jiraiya's face. It was even funnier than the time they managed to successfully capture a picture of him running for his life from Tsunade!
Behind them Shinigami-sama appeared amused.
"I'm making doubles, so you know."
"Blackmail for when he finally croaks?" said Kushina with a knowing grin.
"Damn straight. Even gods have to do paperwork, and my workload is hell itself!"
Kushina snickered, and then began to plot for Jiraiya's welcome. Minato felt sorry for the Toad Sage when he died. Between Kushina's evil suggestions and the god's laughter, he was in for a rough time...
"So anyway, I keep hearing a snake hissing in the pipes..." said Kushina.
"You sure?"
"This place runs on magic, not gas. The only other thing that would make a hiss like that is a snake. From the sound of it, it's a fairly big one," said Kushina.
"About how big?" asked Minato.
"I would say...about the same size as a medium large snake from Training Ground 44 at least. Possibly slightly bigger," said Kushina.
Minato nearly choked on his chocolate frog.
"Medium Large?!"
"How big is this medium large snake?" asked Draco warily.
Kushina thought about it, and had him hold a magical conjured rope. She went down the hall and didn't stop until she nearly reached the end.
Draco and the others gaped.
"Oh wait, that's for a medium..."
She kept on going to the end of the hall. It was nearly eighty feet of rope on the ground.
"How the hell did you escape after you measured something like that?!"
"Oh, I just went in and asked them if they wouldn't mind us having a measurement of their length. You should have heard the arguments between them about who was longer!" grinned Kushina.
"Considering the tigers in there kept interrupting you..." muttered Minato.
"Tigers?" said Hermione faintly.
"Fire Country Tigers. Biggest damn things in that forest. I bet Hagrid could probably tame a small one, but it would still be bigger than he is..." said Minato offhandedly.
"You know maybe we should bring him with us...I can totally see the Akimichi clan allowing him to marry one of their older daughters..."
"You kidding? They would jump at the chance for a guy like him!" snorted Minato.
"Akimichi?" said Neville.
"Akimichi...it's a family back home that prides itself on food and being the heaviest shinobi in the Fire Country. But most of their family techniques require a lot of calories to use, so they tend to be pretty damn big. But they're one of the nicest people you will ever meet, so long as you don't comment on their weight," said Minato.
"What kind of things can they do?" asked Draco.
"Well I know of one that can turn himself into a literal giant for a limited amount of time," said Minato.
"Isn't that the clan head?" asked Kushina.
"I think so," said Minato.
"So what are we going to do about that snake?" asked Hermione.
"We find it...and depending on what kind it is, deal with it. If it's poisonous enough or deadly enough we can always give it to Anko. Kami knows she would love having a snake that big as a pet," said Kushina.
"So what is your next class?" asked Minato quickly.
"Defense," said Draco.
"Is everyone at the usual spot?" asked Kushina?"
"Those serious about learning defense magic will be there," said Draco.
Kushina had left a notice in all houses that those serious about learning defense against dark arts could meet someone who actually knew what they were doing in a large abandoned classroom. The other teachers looked the other way because they actually wanted their students to succeed.
Kushina walked up to the stage with a grin.
"Welcome everyone to a real lesson about Defense Against the Dark Arts! I would like to thank each and every one of you for actually taking your safety serious and coming here today!"
Kushina's makeshift class succeeded for many reasons, but the main ones were rather simple.
One, everyone had long since figured out she was actually Kaori Potter who was raised somewhere in the East and preferred her adopted name. Two, she actually gave a damn about the students and did her best to help them when they needed it, like when it came to relationships. (Some considered her like a second mother, considering her forgiving nature. Particularly the younger students.) But the main reason was this.
Many had witnessed her basic taijutsu exercises that she tended to do outside every morning before breakfast. And the fact that people still talked about how she took out a troll without any help was still the talk of the school. Draco had confirmed those rumors, so people were eager to learn from someone with actual experience.
"Next, I would like to congratulate those who had enough common sense to actually try the bulletin board course, which I can assure you almost all the teachers support fully since we can never be sure of a proper defense teacher in this place. As it stands I will post the class rankings for each year if anyone is actually interested. Now before we begin, I want to know what you, the students, would actually like to learn from this class. I have some papers here, and once I read them over we'll start the real work. Coincidentally if Dumbledore or the Ministry asks, this is a study group/Defense club for all years."
Kushina gave them all a bow, and everyone took a piece of paper and wrote what they wanted to learn. During their next meeting Kushina got them started on hexes, curses and jinxes that were age appropriate.
The 7th and 5th years enjoyed having a proper teacher in charge of defense for a change. Because of the so called curse on the job, it was highly unlikely that they would get a decent teacher each year. At the very least, Kushina would have them ready for OWLs and NEWTs.
Kushina frowned. There had been another attack, this time a boy from her own house. Colin Creevey, a first year, had been attacked by the snake. His camera had been damaged as well, and the film was lost.
(Yes, I know Colin was one of the first attacked, but Kushina's ongoing humiliation of Lockhart had changed the arrangement a bit.)
No one wanted to gain her attention, because she was on the warpath. She considered all the Lions like her cubs (everyone knew about that quirk, but thankfully no one ever commented on it) and an attack on them was like an attack on her.
Not even Lockhart was stupid enough to cross her at the moment.
Kushina was dragged again from her dreams to see Shinigami-sama waiting.
"Jiraiya will be here in a week. He has been receiving some...assistance...in finding this place. You can find him near the lake edge."
"I have only one question. If the thing attacking the students is a creature, what seal is the best to deal with it?"
Shinigami-sama looked amused.
"The creature has a pair of unique mystic eyes that can kill with a glance. But, in the interest of not interfering with mortal matters, I cannot tell you what the creature is specifically. What I can tell you is that you may find this particular book very interesting..."
Kushina awoke with a seals book she had only seen in the classified section of the Hokage library. It was classified because it held seals that could seal a doujutsu away permanently. If the Hyuga knew it existed, they would raise a bigger stink than the Uchiha had when the people of Whirlpool brought it with them.
As far as anyone knew, it had been burned the day Madara Uchiha had tried to kill the First Hokage.
In reality that had been a copy, and the true seals had been passed down from Uzumaki to Uzumaki as part of their heritage. Kushina knew fully well how to create those seals, but she had forgotten what it looked like over the years.
Her eyes went past the page with the seal designed to rob someone of the Sharingan...and went straight to a chapter that most had overlooked.
The Seal of Mystic Eyes. The very fact that Mystic Eyes existed was something of a long forgotten mystery, since they had been lost in the Elemental Areas.
And she was about to face a creature that carried those same eyes.
Dear Ametarsu...
Kushina went to visit Hagrid who had been acting odd since the entire Chamber of Secrets had been reopened.
"Hagrid, either you open up this door and explain what is wrong or I'm breaking it down," said Kushina with a scowl.
Hagrid said nothing, not wanting to explain his past. Without warning the door flew past him and crashed loudly on the opposite wall. He stared at the extended leg of the red head looking very annoyed with him.
"Now, either you talk...or you'll have to deal with me," she said angry.
Hagrid propped to door where it was, and sighed. The more he explained the deeper her scowl got. The moment he told her of his wand being snapped, she slapped the table with both hands.
"That is complete and utter bullshit! How could they take the world of one student over the other without even asking you your side?"
Hagrid had tears in his eyes. Finally, someone other than Dumbledore believed him.
"Hagrid...if we can ever prove you weren't the one to set loose this creature...would you be willing to join me when I return home? I know of an entire family that would be very happy to talk to you, and they could care less about the fact that you're half Giant."
"How did yer know I was half Giant?"
"Hagrid, you're nearly 8 feet tall and are at least bigger than most humans on unhealthy diets. The only explanation is that you are half giant. Do you really think I give half a crap about the fact you aren't fully human?"
Hagrid looked like he was about to bawl. It was nice to know that the most popular witch in the school cared so much about him. Kushina gave him a hug as best she could, and Hagrid finally let his emotions go.
Before she left his cabin, she repaired his door for him.
She had a lot of work to do.
Jiraiya waited impatiently on the cold wet rock. For some reason none of his toads wanted to be summoned, and the only one that came through had a message from Gamabunta.
"Quit trying to summon us. We aren't going to get in the way of your beat down!"
He sensed the presence of two powerful chakra, one stronger than the other.
"Who's there?" he said.
"Hello you damn Pervert. Has that crappy writing of yours gotten any better?" smirked a familiar red head.
If Jiraiya was pale before, it was nothing compared to how pale he became when he saw Kushina. And it got even worse when a familiar head of blond hair came out.
"Kushina? Minato?!"
"Surprise, surprise!" said Kushina with evil glee. She snapped many pictures with precision before his look faded back to normal.
"How?"
"I don't know about Kushina, but Shinigami-sama told me that I was going to be given a second chance if I helped someone I knew complete a very important mission of his. The next thing I knew I was waking up in the form of an infant a few years before the Fox attacked the village and I had a new twin sister."
"Bah. The old goat who runs the castle by this lake performed a foul and forbidden ritual to drag my ass here, and my body ended up returning to that of an eleven year old. Shinigami-sama said we would get a free ride home if we retrieved three items he let loose here centuries ago. If I hadn't been pulled here and taken to the infirmary immediately I would have died from internal bleeding," said Kushina.
"How do I know you're really who you claim to be?"
Minato flew through familiar hand signs and summoned the same toad Jiraiya usually sat on while peeping. Kushina decided to focus on the fact that Jiraiya had never once checked on Naruto and her KI was raised enough that her hair did the nine-way split it always did when she was really pissed.
That was enough to convince him, though the image of the Fox was somewhat worrying.
"I thought it escaped?"
"Oh, it did. Minato here sealed at least 80 percent of it's Yin chakra inside me and placed the Yang inside Naruto...coincidentally Jiraiya..." said Kushina, her anger still present.
'Oh crap...'
Jiraiya was beaten black and blue, and he considered himself lucky that Minato and Kushina were at the same strength as two very high level genin or a low level chunin.
"Now what are you going to do when you return to the village?" asked Kushina sweetly.
"I am going to report to Sarutobi that you two are alive, if slightly younger than before."
"And?" said Minato dangerously.
"I will do my duty and check on my godson like I was supposed to," said the Sage, whimpering.
"You can also bring us some ANBU gear and proper weapons. Kushina has secured a link to some goblins who can create passable shuriken and kunai, but we need real weapons."
"Also tell Anko she might be getting a new pet with sealed Mystic Eyes...if we're lucky," said Kushina as an after thought.
Minato and Jiraiya sputtered.
"Now, Jiraiya, I want you to help my baby get started on seals. I sent him a few books on the subject but the last time he sent me a letter he said that he could use some help."
"Yes ma'am..." said Jiraiya with a whimper. Dealing with a pissed off Kyuubi container was not his idea of a good day.
