Lily

Alice, Reid, and I met the marauders at breakfast to see them discussing from what looked like, a very serious matter.

"Hey boys, what's got you down in the dumps?" Asked Alice sitting next to Peter.

The four boys exchanged a solemn look. James pushed the Daily Prophet towards me before taking a sip at his coffee brew.

I picked up the paper and started to read:

Found Dead

Ernest McKinnon

Bernadette McKinnon

Marshall McKinnon

Meredith McDonald

Tears filled my eyes and blinded my vision. I couldn't finish the rest, it as just too much for me, it hurt so much that I forgot to breath. Silently, I put the paper down and Alice and Reid picked it up to read, they too fell silent.

"The killing curse is what happened to them, and his mark above their homes!" Spat a raging Sirius.

"Look at them." Growled James motioning towards the slytherin table.

We did as he told and saw majority of the table gloating and smiling. It made my stomach churn. I caught a quick glance at Severus and glared, wondering why he was apart of such a vile and cruel organization.

"They're disgusting!" Snorted Sirius.

"Poor Marlene, poor Mary." Sulked Remus.

I looked over at Severus again before abruptly getting up and racing out of the great hall.

I heard footsteps behind me knowing that he would follow, and swiftly turned around to meet his eyes.

"How could you do it?" I spat before he could speak.

I continued.

"How could you join knowing what they do, how could you join after seeing Marley and Mary suffer like that? Marley's never going to see her family again Severus! She's going home to a vacant house that reminds her why it's empty and Mary without her mother!" I was bursting into tears again.

He stood there silent and guilty.

"Severus, what are you going to do if he wants me dead? I am a muggle- born you know!"

Severus looked as though he saw death himself. I knew Severus still cared for me, I knew what I said struck him hard, but I said it anyway because I knew it would hurt him like he hurt me.

"Lily…"

"Tell me Severus, what would you do if he wanted my head on a platter?"

Silence.

Silence,

Even more silence.

I scoffed out of disbelief even though I knew he would respond this ay, saying absolutely nothing. I shook my head and gave a dry laugh.

"James was right."

I turned on my heel and left him there with knowledge that he was burning with fury at the mention of the Gryffindor's name.

Before I even walked completely through the doors of the great hall, someone had wrapped their arms around me. Someone tall, someone built someone with a musky sweet scent. I looked up and surprisingly smiled to see James looking down at me concerned, and that's when I cried.

James

That snake, I'll kill him! I'll kill him with my own two hands! Ripping at his jugular, and watch him bleed. Cold- hearted bastard, how dare he hurt Lily? Not my Lily, my lovely Lily-

"James?" A sweet saccharine voice interrupted my mental rampage.

I looked down into her familiar glare that as not annoyed or angry at the moment, but more concerned. She then did something that I'd never expect her to do in well- ever. She gently rested the palm of her hand against my cheek before caressing it with her dainty fingers that use to cause me physical pain in the past. Am I is this a dream? Because if it is then i never want to wake up.

"James?" She called again.

"Yes?" It was barely a whisper.

Lily buried her face into my chest and gave a soft giggle.

"Thank you."

And being James Charlus Potter I just had to say the only seven little words that could possibly ruin this moment.

"Lily, will you go out with me?"

Immediately, she abruptly stepped out of the hug, gave me a cold stare and then get this, punched me right in the nose sending my round specks to fly off and me to fall back. Brilliant, blood.

"James Potter, you are the biggest dick in the world!"

"You think my dick's big?"

Lovely, a kick in the crotch now I'll never carry on the Potter line. Fuck my life.

Nell

It's been a nearly two months since we've been back at Hogwarts, nearing to Halloween. September was a rather nice start besides Lily acting weird around James and vice versa, she hasn't been violent with him at all. After Sirius caught me up on the profit, I've been finding myself avoiding Severus even though he's my potions partner, and as for my sister we didn't cross each other's path, Reid and Remus have been getting chummier always locked up in the library together, unless he's on prefect duties with Lily. Alice and Peter are cozy as ever but I have been noticing that Frank Longbottom has been stealing her a few glances, James has been driving the Quidditch team insane by making them practice every free time they get (thank Merlin I didn't join), and I've found myself spending most of my time with Lily and Sirius.

Now it's October, Halloween is in a week and it's my break period, and I find myself sitting underneath a beach tree in freezing Scotland, bundled in my Gryffindor cloak, black gloves, and Gryffindor scarf smoking a joint all alone. Besides being okay, I'm not. I haven't received one single letter from my parents, not one! I began to envy and despise those who lit up at the sight of those bloody owls, to be perfectly honest I have come to loathe them, because they just remind me that I'm alone I have no family and my parents hate me. I haven't even received a blasted howler; at least Sirius has gotten one of those! I know that me and my parents don't exactly see eye to eye, but it hurts it hurts so much to know that they don't love me. Sometimes I don't know what to do with all of that pain and abandonment, sometimes I find myself up on the Astronomy tower shaking in the fetal with a bottle in my palm, thinking then drinking, crying then choking, spitting then puking, thinking some more causing me to drink again until I'm passed out in my own puke. I wake up with a massive hangover, and since I don't know how to whip up a hangover potion and I was definitely not going to go to Lily because she'll think I have a problem, I get high. The thing is, I don't get high with other people, I don't hang with the hippies and stoners of Hogwarts which is everyone in Hufflepuff except for Xenophilius Lovegood and his girlfriend Ramona Tallis. I get high when I'm alone because no one endures the pain I go through, no one would understand, and I get high to escape the pain to get all the water works out before letting anyone see me. And when doing this isn't enough, I hurt myself, because I want it all to end, but not right away, I want to slowly torture myself before going through with it.

I opened my eyes and smiled at Godric the Squid whose giant tentacle waved at me. Then I remembered and then I frowned, I pulled my knife out of my pocket and dragged it across my wrist over and over again, letting the pain absorb me and fully take me in until I felt completely numb and saw a puddle of blood seep on the grass. I pulled out my and murmuring Scrougify to clean the mess up as well as my wounds, feeling relieved when I saw my now pink lines on both my wrist. Everything felt so right.

"Oi Nellie!"

I grinned at the booming voice and ran into the arms of my colossal and fluffy friend.

"Hagrid! It's good to see you!"

"And you, how bou' you join Fang and I fur some tea?"

"Loved to."

I placed my cloak on the coat hanger as well as my gloves, but kept my scarf on in was still chilly. Hagrid poured me nettle tea into his abnormally sized tea cups and gave me a cauldron cake which I actually found delicious.

"So Nellie, what 'ave you been up to?"

"School."

"Everythin' allrigh' at home with your folks?"

I gulped and took a large sip of tea, then set It down letting my eyes wander everywhere but Hagrids.

"Uh, yeah everything's groovy."

I knew that he wouldn't believe that but I didn't want to go into my domestic life.

"Nellie-"

"Hagrid please, can we not I just want to forget."

He nodded knowing when it was enough.

"So anything new and dangerous you've found Hags?" I joked knowing my friend's love for creatures beyond the norm.

He chuckled and took a sip at his firewhiskey which I so desperately wanted, no needed.

"Nah, fang and I just came back from a camping trip with Aragog though."

I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Only you would camp with acramantula Haggy."

"Now Nellie, seriously misunderstood creatures acramantula are, they just nedd understnadin'-"

"And human flesh." I finished trying to hide amusement.

Hagrid shrugged and drank once more; I focused on petting Fang to tear my mind away from the liquor.

"Is that why you were late for our afternoon tea?" I inquired.

Hagrid looked guilty but then chuckled his hearty laugh.

"A giant is never late nor is he early-"

"He arrives precisely when he means to, I'm you've been reading that book I lend you Hagrid but that only applies to wizards, and me when I'm late to class, although it never works on McGonagall."

Hagrid and I spent the remainder of our time laughing at memories and our inside jokes, my troubled life soon forgotten and we were drinking together like two old friends which we are. Hagrid never lets me down; I can always count on him to be the one to make me feel tough and free. I then noticed that I finished break and managed to miss potions and charms, so I bid goodbye to my friendly giant with a hug and a kiss as well as a fist pump, before going back to the castle, I noticed that it was starting to get late.

But instead of heading off to astronomy for my last class before dinner, I took a detour to the headmaster's office. I whispered the password freckled jellybeans and stepped onto the staircase that encircled a phoenix statue. Before I knocked on the headmaster's door, I heard a;

"Come in Miss Stardust."

I did as I as told and skipped over to Dumbledore, and bowed.

"My humble abodes, the all knowing Dumbledore."

Dumbledore merrily chuckled at my childish antics, looking at me with great amusement in his twinkling blue eyes.

"Lemon drop, Miss Stardust?"

"Don't mind if I do Professor."

After having a few, I went over to Fawkes the phoenix and motioned for him to fly over, which he did now standing on my arms. I kissed his feathery cheek before petting him, having him purr into my neck.

"I missed you too Fawkesy."

"Ah yes, Fawkes has been a little down about you're absence Miss Stardust."

I smiled at him.

"How is school for you Miss Stardust?"

"Classes are Zen, life is…good."

Dumbledore gave me a nod and an all knowing look sensing that something was up, but I grinned all the same.

"Miss Stardust, I hope you know that you're friends will always be with you even in the darkest of times, they will help you find the light."

"Sir?"

"With everything going on with Voldemort that is."

I had a feeling he meant something else, but Dumbledore was never that straightforward.

"Well thank you sir."

"Yes well, run along Miss Stardust I can hear your tummy rumbling and I don't want to be responsible for your starvation."

I giggled and placed Fawkes on Dumbledore's desk.

"You know professor, you remind of the grandfather that I always wanted and a lot like Gandalf the Grey who was a wise wizard."

When I entered the great hall, I saw all my friends together laughing and smiling making me warm inside, I love them all so much and probably wouldn't be here without them and for that I was grateful. I then felt like someone was staring at me, I looked up at the teacher's table to see Professor Vinter boring his eyes into me. He's been doing that since the day I met him…playing it off I danced over to my friends and went behind Sirius, covering his eyes with my hands. Everyone giggled and Sirius smirked his heart melting lopsided smile.

"Guess who."

"Is it the bestest prettiest witch named Nellbert?"

I kissed his head and sat on his lap.

"You win!"

I picked up a chicken leg off of his plate and took a chunk out of it, earning me a Sirius scowl and applause of laughter.

James laughed and said;

"Pads, take my advice and dump Daffy duck so you and Little Nell could live happily ever after, have a billion kids and listen to Hendrix records for all eternity."

"You forgot the drinking whiskey and rye part mate while riding a three legged unicorn." Added Sirius.

"Oh Merlin, Nell has taught you her secret language hasn't she?" Chortled Peter.

'Oh Petes you know you wanna learn."

He stuck his tongue out and I threw corn at him.

I love my friends.

I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)