A/N: It is 12:30 AM and I am updating for you all. I am feeling dedicated at this hour!
Please let me know what you think. Stefan is pretty amazing in this update, so try not to hurt from all of the feels he may give you.
"Elena?" Stefan asked, knocking on her door. It was Monday morning – the last week of school – and they were officially going to be late if they didn't leave right then. "We're going to be late" he said through her door. He could hear her shuffling around her room, but she still wasn't answering the door. "Elena!" he said loudly.
"Come in!" she yelled, seemingly irritated with him standing at her door, nagging her.
Stefan opened her door and walked in, only to stop dead in his tracks when he saw her in her panties without any shorts or pants to cover them up. "Uh …" he said, clearly lost for words as he quickly turned his head. "You do realize you're indecent?" he asked, wondering why in the hell she had invited him in. Oh right. Because she was Elena.
"Shut up Stefan" she barked. "It's just underwear. I can't find my damn shorts" she added. She was riffling through piles of her clothes. "I just had them last night when I did laundry and now they're gone" she said, quite irritated.
Stefan didn't see what the big deal was. "So wear a different pair" he said, trying to be helpful. "Like these" he said, grabbing a pair of shorts on the floor. He still wouldn't look at her in her underwear though.
Elena groaned. "Really Stefan?" she asked, walking towards him. He nearly jumped two steps back. He didn't want her that close without being fully clothed. "Do you honestly think that these shorts go with this top?" she asked him, motioning with her hands.
"No?" he asked, a little unsure. It looked fine to him.
"No is correct" she said, turning around and riffling through her clothes once again.
"Well what do they look like?" he asked her. He would do anything to help as long as she covered herself up.
"They're blue" she replied.
Stefan stood there looking dumbfounded. All of them were blue. "Do they have polka dots or something?" he asked. He really did need a distinguishing characteristic if he was going to find them.
Elena glared at him. Clearly she did not get enough sleep when he had put her to bed the night before. Then he thought about how he had put her down on her bed and she held onto him in her sleep, like she wanted him to say. "Stop it" he whispered to himself. He couldn't be thinking of things like that.
"Stop what?" Elena asked, turning to face him.
His eyes caught hers and he couldn't bring himself to look away from her. "Nothing. I was talking to myself" he said, somewhat embarrassed that she had caught him saying that. Elena eyed him closely before turning back around and searching. Stefan busied himself with searching for her missing shorts. He looked under her bed and pulled out a pair of blue denim shorts. "These it?" he asked, holding them up.
Elena smiled brightly. "Yes!" she exclaimed, running towards him like he was now her hero. "Thank you" she said, reaching up to embrace him and kiss his cheek.
Stefan caught her arms though and awkwardly stopped her. "You'd better hurry. We're gonna to have to make up time" he told her, handing her the shorts and walking out of her room quickly.
Elena watched him leave, feeling slightly rejected, but then again, when hadn't she? She quickly put her shorts on and ran some lip gloss over her lips before running down the stairs. "I'm ready" she announced, grabbing an apple out of the bowl on the table.
Stefan held the door open for her and they both rushed out to his truck. "Buckle up" he told her, flooring it as he backed up. Then he put the truck in drive and tore out of the driveway, leaving a cloud of dust.
Elena bit into her apple, watching the scenery pass her by as he drove. When he turned off onto a dirt road she wasn't familiar with, she raised her eyebrow at him. "Where are we going?" she asked.
"Shortcut" he told her, smiling that handsome smile he usually showed her. The one he probably showed all the girls. "Hang on" he said as they hit the first bump.
Elena grabbed for the handle above her and cursed. "Jesus fucking Christ Stefan" she said, looking at him in disbelief. They were bouncing all over the place. Yet the bumps were less alarming than the long stretch of mud she saw up ahead.
He stopped the truck and made a few adjustments while she looked like she was ready to piss herself. "4-wheel drive" he grinned. "Hang on" he repeated, stomping down on the gas and going full force through the muddy path. Mud was flying up on the windows and Elena hated to think what people would say when they got to school. "Ever been muddin'?" he asked her, getting the stupidest grin on his face like this was something he truly enjoyed. Which it was.
"No" she said, quite disgusted with the whole thing. "You're going to wash it when we get home, right?" she asked.
"Nah, the rain will get it sooner or later" he told her.
Elena leaned back in her seat, staring ahead even though she couldn't see anything through the mud covered window. "Disgusting" she muttered.
Stefan just laughed at her. If he could teach her how to ride, he could teach her how to not be such a girly girl.
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"I just don't see why she had to come" Katherine said, kicking a rock with the tip of her boot as she and Rebekah towards the truck.
"Because he doesn't want her to feel left out? Rebekah asked. "She's not so bad" she told her.
"She doesn't belong here" Katherine said stubbornly.
Rebekah sighed. "But she is here" she reminded her friend. "She's living with Stefan and you're going to have to find a way to coexist with her. Otherwise your time with Stefan is going to be very limited for the next year" she warned.
"Well, Stefan and I are going camping in two weeks over the weekend" she said smugly. "He told me he feels bad we haven't spent any time together lately and he wanted to make it up to me."
"That should be fun" Rebekah replied neutrally. She wondered how Elena was going to take the news. "And I think you have the wrong idea about Elena. I think there's a lot we don't know about her" she said, throwing that in there.
"Whose friend are you anyway?" Katherine asked defensively.
"The friend who dropped you off at school and the one who is drivin' your ass home" she smirked.
Katherine's attitude softened some. "I just feel like she's playin' Stefan" Katherine sighed. "I don't want to see him gettin' hurt."
Rebekah looked at her sadly. "I don't want to see that either" she told her. "But I think Stefan knows what he's doin'" she smiled. Katherine still didn't look convinced. "Come on. Let's go and grab burgers before I take you home."
Katherine nodded. "Okay" she said, getting in to Rebekah's truck. She would have called and invited Stefan, but he probably would have brought Elena.
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Rebekah was all smiles when she saw Stefan with Elena later that evening. They were standing by his horse and Rebekah assumed that they had just finished with a riding lesson. She honked twice as she pulled in. "Hey" she said brightly, jumping out of her truck. "I brought those saddles over" she mentioned, walking to the side of her trailer and grabbing two out. "They've got some wear, but they should be a lot more comfortable for you than his saddle" she said, placing the saddles on top of the fence. Elena eyed Stefan suspiciously, and Rebekah caught on. "Oh, he asked me last week if I had any saddles laying around that might fit you better" she said, clarifying what she was doing there. "And trust me, you will feel much better ridin' in one of mine" she added.
"Thanks Rebekah" he said, unsaddling his horse and grabbing for one of her saddles. He saddled his horse again and checked all the points that the saddle touched. "I think this one will work" he said. "You want to try it out?" he asked Elena.
"No, I'm tired" Elena said curtly, handing Stefan the reins. She wasn't entirely comfortable with Rebekah, especially after hearing Rebekah's warning about hurting Stefan. She didn't bother thanking Rebekah as she walked off.
When she was out of earshot, Stefan frowned. "I'm sorry about her" he told Rebekah. "We really do appreciate you lendin' us a saddle though" he said.
Rebekah just shrugged with a smile. "She probably doesn't like the fact that I'm Katherine's friend" she guessed.
Stefan sighed. "I don't know what I'm goin' to do with those two" he said, running his hand over his jaw.
"They're jealous of each other" Rebekah pointed out. There really was nothing anyone could do about that.
"Why though?" Stefan asked. "They both live such different lives. What could they both possibly want?" he asked.
Rebekah about fell on the ground laughing. Was he really that stupid? He looked at her quizzically. "Jesus Stefan" she said, grabbing for her side. It hurt from laughing so hard. "Isn't it obvious?" she asked. "They both want you" she said, slapping his shoulder.
Stefan looked at her for a moment, letting it finally click. Maybe he always knew that, but he had chosen not to dwell on it. Because he wasn't going to date either of them. "Katherine knows we won't work and Elena knows we are just friends" he said uncomfortably.
"Why?" she asked. "You have two great girls who like you. What's the point in bein' alone Stefan?" she asked.
Again, Stefan sighed. He didn't want to admit his feelings for Elena. "Katherine's doin' the rodeo circuit full time next. And I'm stayin' here" he pointed out.
"So what about Elena then?" Rebekah asked. She desperately wanted Stefan to be happy with someone.
Stefan kicked a rock that was near him. "Elena's goin' back home after she graduates next year" he said, trying not to sound disappointed.
Rebekah smiled, and it confused him. "You don't know that" she said softly. "I think she likes you a little more than you know" she told him, thinking back on how quiet and defensive Elena had been at the rodeo. Stefan looked right into Rebekah's eyes to see how sincere she was. "I mean, why wouldn't she like you?" she asked. "You're pretty much perfect" she said, sort of joking but not really.
It got him to smile though. "Thanks. You're pretty amazing yourself" he told her.
Rebekah walked forward and wrapped her arms around him. "You see that brother of yours 'round today?" she asked.
Stefan shook his head. "Nah. I think he's at the rodeo grounds" Stefan said, letting her go. Damon liked to practice every day riding bulls or roping off of his horse. The horse that Stefan had given him.
She sighed. "I suppose I'd best go and get him then" she said, thinking about how much easier it would be to date a steady, reliable and responsible guy like Stefan. Elena would be an idiot to pass him up. "I'll see ya" she said.
"Thanks again" he said, walking with her to her truck and opening her door for her.
"Any time" she told him, shutting her door and starting up her truck.
Stefan waved until she was out of sight. Then he turned back to his horse and led him back to the barn.
He was back inside the house ten minutes later, surprised to see Elena at the kitchen table working on her history project. She had decided to work on it alone, even though partners were allowed. Stefan grabbed a glass of water and sat down across from her. "There's no better saddle than one that's broken in" he said, watching her work on her diagram. He thought maybe she was upset that he hadn't bought her a new saddle of her own. She ignored him. So he sighed. "You were kind of rude to her …" he mentioned.
Elena dropped her pencil and looked up at him with a nasty glare. "Katherine's your friend and I'm rude to her too. What's your point?" Elena asked. She hated how upset she was over the fact that Stefan had friends that were girls. He spent nearly all of his time with her anyway.
"Well I don't like it when you're bein' rude to Katherine either" he told her. "They're both my friends and you're gonna have to figure out how to be around them without throwin' punches or bein' rude all the time" he said matter of factly.
"Or what?" Elena asked him, challenging him. "You're going to stop giving me my riding lessons?" she asked. Then she stood quickly. "I really don't care" she told him. Of course she did. That would mean spending less time with Stefan.
Stefan was about to say something when the phone rang. He quickly got up to answer it, turning to face Elena. He was surprised she hadn't run off. Maybe she wanted to continue the argument. "Hello?" he said. He looked right at Elena and she knew. "May I ask who is calling?" he asked politely. "Jenna" he repeated. He looked up and saw Elena backing away from the table, like she was ready to flee. Then she shook her head no, telling him that she did not want to talk to her aunt. "I'm sorry, but Elena is not in right now. Can I take a message?" he asked. He listened for a few moments. "I will make sure she gets it. Thank you for calling." He hung up the phone and saw Elena's panic slowly dissipate. "She says she loves you and misses you and she would like you to call her" he told Elena.
Elena just scoffed. "Really?" she asked angrily. "She misses me? Well who the fuck does she think sent me to this hell hole?" she spit out at him.
"She's your family" Stefan reminded gently. She couldn't shut her out.
"Family?" she asked, her voice full of pure disgust. "Family does abandon you, Stefan" she said angrily. "You should know better than anyone" she spat at him, having overheard her aunt and Alaric on the phone on numerous occasions, talking about how Stefan's parents had left him at such a young age. Was it hurtful for her to throw that in his face? Absolutely. Did it make her feel better? Not really.
Stefan let the pain he felt slowly sink down inside of him. Of course he knew what abandonment felt like. It wasn't every day that your parents woke up and said they didn't want to be parents anymore. "You should try and work things out" he said quietly, his eyes avoiding hers.
Was he going to cry? Elena felt a sharp pang of guilt hit her, but she pushed it aside and laughed bitterly instead. "I don't need her. I don't need anyone" she told him. "And I sure as hell don't need you" she said.
He winced at how much anger she was unleashing. Then again, he knew that all that anger was just covering up so much other emotional pain that he was terrified of what might happen when she let herself feel all of that instead. Seeing that he wasn't going to reply, she grabbed her pencil and her paper and took off out of the room. He heard her run up the stairs and then slam her bedroom door.
Stefan sat back down, taking slow breaths. He closed his eyes, willing himself to not think about his parents and what they had done to him and his brother.
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It was 2:43 AM when he heard it. A sharp cry followed by a fearful "no" coming from her room.
Stefan put his sweats on as he padded across him room, through the bathroom and slowly opened the door leading into her room.
And there he saw her, in the blue light shining in the window from the moon. He froze, unsure if she was asleep or awake or both. Elena was leaning against the headboard with her knees pulled up to her chin and her arms wrapped around them. He could hear her crying, but he didn't know if she knew he was there.
Slowly, he walked over to her bed and sat down. She didn't move. He was pretty sure she was still asleep, having a nightmare. "Elena" he said softly, touching her arm. She was drenched with sweat, was shaking like she was truly terrified, and she still didn't acknowledge him. "Elena" he said a little more forcefully, shaking her.
"No" she cried. "No."
Stefan reached over and turned her bedside lamp on. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. She really was in distress. He had always heard people say that you weren't supposed to wake them up. But he thought it would be cruel to make her continue to suffer like that. "Elena" he said, shaking her harder.
Slowly, her eyes opened and she lifted her head some, looking and probably feeling completely confused and dazed. She saw his worried eyes looking into hers as she tried to adjust to the light. Although she didn't remember what she was dreaming about, she knew it was probably about the accident. A couple times a week, it happened. But not usually this bad. She slowly took notice of how sweaty she was, and her eyes burned from her tears.
She was so embarrassed that he had found her like that. "I …" she began, only for her tears to come back as she tried to think of a way to explain all of this.
His heart ached for her as he reached his arms out, embracing her tight and pulling her against him. "Shhh" he whispered, letting her know that she didn't have to explain herself. He didn't want her to feel ashamed or embarrassed that he had found her like that. "You don't have to say anything" he told her, smoothing out her hair and placing it over one shoulder, out her face.
Slowly, she reached her hand up and placed in on his shoulder for something to hold on to. She leaned her head against his chest and continued to cry. His hand made slow circles on her back, trying to sooth her.
And it was working. Soon, all she could think about was the rhythm of his hand on her back and how comforted she felt. She hadn't felt like that in a long time. His slow and steady heartbeat against her ear was so calming that she wished she could listen to it for the rest of the night.
After about twenty minutes or so, he looked down at her and realized that she had fallen back asleep. Carefully, he rolled her over and put her down, tucking her into her covers.
His heart still hurt, finding her like that, and he wondered how often that happened to her. He was exhausted, yet instead of going back to his room, he backed up and sat down in the chair at her desk and watched her.
Just in case it happened again.
A/N: It is okay to cry because you do not have your own Stefan to hold you like that.
