"Do you think we impressed Kurt?" Leonard asked.
"I'm not taking this class to impress Kurt, I'm taking it to defend myself against people like Kurt; thus I don't care."
"I've never been so sore in my life."
"Me neither. Did you see the way Wolowitz wobbled? Like a duck on Valium. I think it's safe to say Wii bowling night is cancelled."
"Thank God," Leonard muttered, and they parted to let themselves into their apartments. Both groaned in pain as they retrieved their keys.
Amy examined Sheldon, appearing unimpressed. "Your hands are like jelly, aren't they?" she asked.
"You know exactly how soft my hands are."
Amy closed the door. "Why don't you go soak them, I'll cook dinner."
"Thanks." Sheldon moved lethargically toward the bathroom and Amy moved into the kitchen.
-0-0-0-0-
The dinner table was awkwardly quiet as Amy finished serving her family. It was still awkwardly quiet when they had all begun eating. Sheldon's hands were covered in Vaseline and wrapped in bandages, but his fingers were free.
"So," Amy finally said, "I've been thinking...maybe it would be an excellent idea for you girls to join us in our self-defense classes."
"What about our, you know, school classes?" Danielle asked frostily.
"Uh, actually, we talked it over," Sheldon said, "And we decided not to enrol you in public school. We thought you would learn more in less time if...we were your teachers."
"What? I don't want to be here all the time!"
Amy and Sheldon shared a glance. "Danielle," Sheldon began, "School was, for both Amy and me, a living hell. We were rejected, bullied, pranked, teased, tripped..."
"I'm not you."
"Right," Amy answered, "You're young, and beautiful. People who happen to be just one or neither of those things will do mean things out of spite."
"Entirely correct. Now, we don't have to hold your classes here; we can hold them at the university where we work. I guarantee you you'll be two of the youngest people on campus. And while Amy doesn't care if you call her Dr. Fowler or Mom, I'm not so unobjectionable. I will have you call me Mr. Dr. Cooper."
Danielle looked at her silent sister, then returned her narrow eyes to her new mother. "I want public school."
Erica timidly nodded.
Sheldon looked at Amy for advice.
"Are you sure?" Amy asked.
"Positive. Nothing will get me bullied more than the other students finding out my adoptive parents are my teachers."
Amy nodded slowly. "You don't need to explain," she said, "I get it. People are..."
"Stupid," Sheldon filled in. "What's so funny about your parent being your schoolteacher, when your parents taught you everything else?"
"Adoptive!" Danielle shouted, scaring all three. She stood and stomped down the hall.
Appearing red in the face, Erica slowly continued to pick at her food, avoiding all eye contact.
Sheldon looked at Amy, who shook her head. Sheldon quietly loaded his fork before he found the courage to speak again. "I don't know why any parent in any family ships their kids off to school with strangers anyway. Why would they trust strangers to teach their children? Especially if they want them to be taught a certain way to begin with. It doesn't make sense to me..." He looked at Erica, who still wouldn't do anything but pick at her food. He looked at Amy. "And I mean, if you're going to raise a kid, at least have the decency to do your part, teach them, and finish what you started!"
Erica dropped her fork with a clatter. "Some parents don't get the chance," she mumbled. "I'm not hungry, can I be excused?"
"You may," Amy answered, and Erica stood and moved down the hall.
When a door closed Sheldon spoke. "This is proving difficult."
"Well, I'm sure it's difficult, for them," Amy said pointedly. "They're young, they're dealing with two losses at the same time. I think you can deal with two gains."
Sheldon considered.
-0-0-0-0-
Three knocks on the door had Danielle opening her mouth to yell Go away! But before she could say anything Sheldon called, "Danielle and Erica!" He knocked three more times. "Danielle and Erica!" Three final knocks. "Danielle and Erica!"
Danielle got up and opened the door. Amy stood behind him, carrying both untouched meals.
"Special delivery, from Meal On Heels," Amy joked.
Erica and Danielle just blinked at her.
"Never mind."
"Don't get used to this," Sheldon added, as Amy handed each girl her dinner. "You can eat in here just for tonight, but we expect you at the dinner table tomorrow." He turned to follow Amy out, but stopped and turned back. "Say whatever you want once this door closes. But the bottom line is, you'll thrive the most here. We Coopers, we do things right. Except your new grandma, you pay her no mind; she's crazy. Loving, nurturing, but cuckoo for CocoPuffs."
"Dr. Cooper," Erica called, making him turn.
"Yes?"
"I...I don't like your friends."
Sheldon shrugged. "To be honest, I'm not entirely comfortable with them, either." He watched them rearrange themselves on the bed with their plates. "I know this is strange now," he finally said, "But we'll all adjust. All the good things take time."
He backed out of the room and gently shut the door.
"How are you doing?" Amy asked, as he re-entered the living room.
He sat in his Spot with a sigh. "I'm at a weird place in my life," he finally said.
"How so?"
"Well, I'm a new father..." He looked down at his hands, examining them. "But I feel like an old mummy."
Amy looked at him. "Are you still going to continue your lessons?"
He considered, then nodded. "I am. We don't get to run away from our problems the moment they get difficult...We'd never solve anything that way. Furthermore it's time I learn how to stand up for myself. I can't rely on Penny for protection, and still be a respectable dad. I need to know how to protect them, too."
Amy nodded and went back to her reading, and Sheldon sat quietly beside her and reminisced.
