Hello again darlings!
Ugh. So first of all, I know the last chapter kinda sucked, and I'm sorry. But I think this chapter's a bit better, so that's good! This story's kinda at to the point where I want to add at least a little bit more before I want to actually start with the plot twist. So yeah, sorry if last chapter kinda sucked. I really want to go back and re-write it, but sadly, its too late for that. oh well.
Anyways, I hope you find this chapter to be okay, and I really want to hear your opinion on it! So yeah, I'll leave you to it!
Alice~
"Ah-.. L-Ludiwg!"
"What's wrong?"
"It... Hurts- Ng!"
"The pain will go away in a moment I promise."
"I-... Ah~!"
"See? I found it. Alright, I'm going to go in now."
"N-no, don't-"
"Shh, it's okay, Feliciano."
"Aaaah~!"
"Does it still hurt?"
"N-no...I-it... Feels good..."
"Here, wrap your legs around my waist like this. I get deeper like this."
"Aaah~! It... Oh g-god! R-ight there."
"Oh God, Feliciano... I already feel like I'm about to cum.."
"M-Me too... Ng... Ludwig!"
Feliciano flew up in his bed, crying out as a pain tore through his midsection as he awoke abruptly from the ridiculous dream. He breathed heavily, looking around him. Where was he? It was so dark he couldn't tell. Was he back home? No, the bed felt too soft to be the one back home...
Ludwig's house... That was it. He looked around once more, his eyes more adjusted to the darkness. When he heard breathing beside him, he jumped in panic, but soon relaxed when he noticed that familiar blonde hair...
He was in Ludwig's bed? With him? He felt his cheeks heat as the memory of last night flooded his mind. He had kissed Ludwig... And he had kissed him back. A smile tugged at his lips as his mind went through the memory. They shared a deep, heated but yet gentle and sweet kiss. And then, he had fallen asleep in his strong arms. It was probably one of the greatest things that had ever happened to him. Something so simple had made him so happy... But it wasn't just the kiss. Someone actually loved him. And he knew he actually loved him. Why would he do all of those things to him and act the way he did if he didn't? Nobody had ever kissed him like that... He loved it. He wanted to a do it again...
He glanced over to Ludwig, who was fast asleep and curled under the covers, his blonde hair that was usually slicked back in a neat manner was now sprawled messily across his face. Feliciano chuckled at how silly he looked. But it didn't change how handsome he thought the large man was. He situated himself back into the mattress, letting out a comfortable sigh as he curled back up to the man, clutching tightly to his arm.
He flinched when he heard Ludwig let out a quiet grunt as he stirred in his sleep, frowning as he watched those blue eyes flutter open.
"O-oh, Ludwig! I'm s-so sorry did I wake you?" Ludwig shook his head, adjusting his position so he was on his side and eye level with the boy, propping his head up in his hand with his elbow on the pillow.
"How do you feel?" Feliciano thought for a moment, a sudden random panic running through him. What does he mean? Does he mean the pain... Does he mean from last night...
"U-uh... F-fine." Ludwig smiled, wrapping his other arm around the boy's shoulder lazily, placing a gentle kiss to his forehead.
"I'm glad." Feliciano smiled, pressing into his bare chest. Peering over the man's shoulder, he glanced at the digital clock on his nightstand. 2:30 the bright red light blinked. Ugh, why did he have to wake up so early? Especially disturbing Ludwig's sleep...
"Oh um.. I'm s-sorry I woke you up." Ludwig chuckled lightly.
"It's fine, Feliciano. To be honest, I'm usually up at this time anyways."
"Really? Why?"
"Well, I'm not sure why I've just always had problems sleeping. But tonight I actually managed to fall asleep pretty fast. Maybe it's just because you're here. I feel so relaxed with you here." Ludwig admitted, yawning quietly when he was done. Feliciano felt the man's grip around him tighten slightly. Not enough to hurt him, just a noticeable difference. Feliciano smiled, curling closer to the german's warm body. He felt his eyelids become heavy, the warmth running through his body in gentle waves. He felt his breathing begin to match the sound of Ludwig's heartbeat. God, why couldn't he just stay like this forever?
"Amigo... Amiiiigo? Hey, kiddo, wake up. Amigo!" Antonio's voice rang through his ears as his eyes slowly opened. Feliciano rubbed his eyes tiredly as he sat up slowly, remembering not to do what he had done last night.
"A-...Antonio? What are y-you doing here?" He asked tiredly. Antonio chuckled as he ruffled the boy's hair.
"Ha, you can't get rid of me that easily. Ludwig had to go to the school for a little while today, so he asked me to come over and make sure you were okay while he's gone. So, how're ya feeling, kiddo?" Feliciano yawned, stretching his arms upwards.
"Actually... I feel pretty good." He smiled to himself, remembering the events from earlier. Antonio raised an eyebrow, eying the boys happy expressions.
"Alright, what happened?" Feliciano's face dropped as he looked at the spaniard in confusion.
"H-huh?"
"What happened to make you so happy and cheery all of a sudden?" Oh god, am I that obvious?
"N-nothing happened!" He lied quickly, getting anxious as Antonio folded his arms. "I just... I slept really well, so I don't really hurt that much." Antonio gave one of those "Mhm"'s that parent's always gave when they were catching on to one of your lies.
"And I can't help but notice, isn't this Ludwig's room? And aren't you in his bed? Come on, Amigo, I wasn't born yesterday."
"N-no really! I-... He was helping me fall asleep! That's all!" The spaniard rolled his bright green eyes before chuckling.
"Whatever you say, amigo. Now, you're s'possed to take some medicines, right?" Feliciano nodded. "Well Ludwig told me he put some on the kitchen counter. I'll go get them and some water so you can take them. Be right back, alright?" After he was sure Antonio was away from the door, Feliciano let out a sigh of relief. He thought he'd die of shame if the spanish man found out about last night... He was already giving him a hard time about just thinking he had a crush on him. God knows what he would do if he was under the impression that they had "slept together".
But they did... Didn't they? Yes, in the obvious way of them actually sleeping curled up and cuddled against each other, but the other kind of "sleep with". What Ludwig had done for him... And what he had done for Ludwig... Did that even count as "sleeping with him"? But it's not like they had gone all the way... They were just helping each other feel good, right? And it was only his first night here... They had already done those things...
He grabbed a pillow and hid his reddened face in it. He felt so ashamed to do those things with a man so quickly. Even thought he had done even worse things with strange men even quicker, but that was beside the point. He was going to be staying with this man for quite some time...
Did he expect to do these things more often? Oh god... His face burned brighter at the thought as well as remembering his dream from the previous night. I'm already dreaming about those things with him? What is wrong with my brain?!
"Amigo?" Antonio asked, slightly concerned. Feliciano shook the thoughts out of his head, setting back down his pillow to avoid suffocating himself. The spaniard handed the boy the group of pills and the glass of ice water, the italian swallowing all of them easily. Antonio smiled, sitting next to him. He seemed to be doing much better. He seemed much happier than he usually was. He assumed it was because he was away from Lovino...
A sudden pang of guilt shot through him. Lovino... He suddenly wondered how he was dealing with the new life. It had been almost two weeks since the incident. Had they moved him to the asylum yet? If so, how was he handling it? He was so worried about him..
Wait, why was he worried? It's not like Antonio could feel bad for the italian, not after what he did to Feliciano. But he still wondered about him... Did Lovino ever think about him? At all? Did he think about what he would say to him when he got out? Or did he just spend all of the thoughts on him fantasizing strangling him? He shuddered at the thought.
Maybe if I can find out where he is, I can go visit him? He thought to himself. That is, if they would let him anywhere near him not knowing how he might react. He could end up being really dangerous... Antonio was beginning to think against it.
"Antonio? Are you okay?" Feliciano asked when he saw the spaniards dark, lifeless eyes. Upon hearing the boy's voice, he snapped out of his thoughts.
"Lo siento, Feliciano. I was just thinking about something. Is there anything else you need?"
"I don't think so..."
"Do you want me to stay longer? I mean, Ludwig should be back within the next hour or so, but I mean if you want me to stay with you just in case or so you don't get lonely I can." He offered kindly, smiling as well. Feliciano shook his head. He didn't want to bother him anymore than he assumed he was.
"You don't have to." Antonio nodded, and pushed himself off of the bed.
"Well then in that case, I'll be off. Tell Ludwig I said hello, and be nice. He might be stressed from work or something. Adios!" The spaniard waved before walking out of the room. He waited for a few seconds, listening carefully until he heard the front door shut. He pushed up his body with weak arms and forced himself on his feet. Thankful he could stand, he began to wobble over to the bathroom. He figured he could do at least this on his own. Its not like he wanted Antonio to help him use the bathroom...
After finishing his business, he hobbled back over to the sink to wash his hands, using the counter to help him stand properly. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror and winced, his eyes examining his body.
His brown hair was tangled messy, thick knots in some places and strands of hair sticking straight up in others. His face, or at least what he could see that wasn't covered in bandages, was a pale white except for the remaining purple bruises that went from his cheeks down his neck. Some went even further, but he didn't want to pay attention to those. His chest looked hideous in his eyes, that long deep scar that went from his chest all the way down his torso and to his hip. Even more purple bruises littered the pale skin around his hips and stomach. Bones seemed to be jutting out because of how scrawny he was. His collar bone and ribs showed, and when he turned around to look at his back he could see the notches of his spine as well as more bruises. He wanted to burst into tears. How could Ludwig look at him and not be disgusted? He looked so pathetic... So gross... How could the german stand the sight of him? He couldn't even look at his own reflection...
He felt tears begin to fall from his golden eye. Why did this happen to him? Why did he have to look so hideous? His feet slowly shuffled backwards, tripping onto his backside with a painful thud. He scooted back until he felt his back touch the tub. He curled his knees up to his chest, ignoring the pain filling his body, and sobbed.
I know how this happened. I let Fratello do all of those things to me. I let him hurt me. I let him... Touch me. I let this happen. Why did I never fight back? Why didn't I? I'm too weak, that's why. I'm so weak... So pathetic... So useless...
More and more tears fell from his eyes, his breathing becoming ragged and uneven. Violent hiccups caused his body to jerk and twitch. I'm so pathetic.
"Fratello..." He whimpered into his knees, sniveling loudly. "Fratello..." His body shook from the cold air around him as well as the icy temperature of the surface of the bath against his back.
He didn't know how long he had been there. Time seemed to fly right by him. Seconds, minutes, hours, he couldn't tell anymore. He hadn't even noticed when the door to the bathroom had opened.
"Feliciano?" A voice called out. He didn't look up. He didn't want to face whomever it was, didn't want anyone to see how pathetic he was. "Feliciano?!" The voice was loud, and almost angry sounding. He felt his body being ripped upward off the ground by his arm, but he didn't give any movement of protest. He barely uttered a squeak as his feet were swept off the ground in a swift motion. Someone was grumbling in an irritated tone, but in a robust language he didn't understand. He tried looking up to see who was holding him, but his vision was to blurred by remaining tears.
He heard a loud sigh as he was carefully laid down properly on the bed, and Feliciano resumed to curl back into his protective ball, his face hidden in his messy hair. He felt the weight on the bed shift as the bed creaked, indicating someone sitting down somewhere else on the bed. He clutched his knees tighter to his body, tears breaking through once more.
He jumped when he felt a large hand on his shoulder, and whimpered in protest when he felt the other's body hanging over his. He wondered what was going on, and was curious as to why the person above him wasn't trying to hurt or use him. Instead of the body crushing him or trying to harm him in any way, an arm wrapped around him in a seemingly protective manner.
"You don't have to be afraid, Feliciano." A familiar voice whispered into his hair. He blinked a few times before sniffing, wiping his eyes. A comforting hand ran through his brown locks in a familiar manner. Feliciano began to slowly calm, realizing he wasn't in danger. He knew who was with him, and he instantly began to relax.
"L-Ludwig?" He muttered, wiping his face with his thin arm. A gentle grunt was his answer. Ever so slowly, his entire body began to relax and unfold out of its ball. He laid back into the mattress, and the body above him shifted along with him so that the man's entire body now loomed over his. The german ran a soothing hand along the boys cheek.
"What happened?" He asked quietly. Feliciano wiped his eye once more before opening his mouth to answer.
"I-.. I saw my self... I look so disgusting... So hideous... And I remembered ... Why I'm so hideous... I'm so pathetic... I-... I'm s-so weak..." He sputtered out, the tears finally gone. Ludwig's eyes darkened, and his gentle expression quickly changed. His lips curled downward in a snarl. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how he was supposed to answer. No, Feliciano. He thought. How could you think that? You're... You're the strongest person I know. For being able to stay alive even with what all has happened to you...
"You idiot..." He growled. Feliciano's eye widened.
"H-huh?" Ludwig's eye glared deep into his brown orbs, staring past them and into his mind. Feliciano squirmed, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze.
"I never want to hear you say those things ever again, you hear me?" He said lowly. The boy nodded slowly, but only did it out of fear. "Everything you said... None of that is true. You're not disgusting, hideous, or pathetic. You're the strongest person I know, Feliciano. You were able to handle everything that you're brother did and live. After all of that, you were able to survive and now you're doing so much better. Tell me, Feliciano, how is that pathetic? How are you a disgusting person when you can stand up and do whats right after all of that? How are you hideous when deep down, you're so worried about other people that you put their lives before your own?!" Feliciano was frozen in place. All of the things the german said... Ludwig really believed such wonderful things about him? He really thought he was a good person... Even thought he had been just some useless slut? He shook his head.
"But I am pathetic, Ludwig." He spoke softly. "I let Fratello hurt me. I let all of those men do what they wanted to me." He explained calmly. Ludwig's scowl only deepened.
"But did you want them to, Feliciano?! Did you ask for them to do it?"
"N-no, of course not-,"
"You 'let' them do it because there was nothing you could do about it, Feliciano! None of this is your fault! Besides, if you had tried to fight back then God knows what would have happened! Lovino might have only been worse! He might have hurt you even more out of outrage! So stop telling yourself these lies, Feliciano!" Ludwig begged, lowering his face into the boys neck so he could he couldn't see his pained expression. "Please..." He whispered. "Don't think such horrible things of yourself..." Feliciano felt his chest swell in happiness. Ludwig didn't think he was disgusting, hideous or pathetic like he had thought. It meant so much to him... words couldn't even express it. He wrapped his arms around Ludwig's broad shoulders and pulled him closer, a single tear of joy escaping from his watery eye.
"Th-thank you, Ludwig... Thank you..." He murmured.
Ahah~ So yes, a little more fluff between Luddy and Feli. I hope you liked this chapter, and please leave a review. Have any suggestions, questions or comments? That's what the wonderful review button down there is for. Thank you so much for reading~ Hope to see you next time!
