Author's Note: To the readership of Evangelion Exchange... I am looking to receive some solid feedback on this story. I see a lot of people adding this piece to their favorites or author alerting me, but a low review count. I need feedback if I am to continue, especially since this story is teetering on the brink of moving into the M rating, and the direction of the story has changed and become much darker and more explorative than I originally anticipated. I urge everyone who enjoys this story to leave some kind of comment about what they think of it so far and things they might like to see happen in the future. Thank you.

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Being Asuka, or a girl for that matter, was beginning to grate more and more on Shinji Ikari's nerves with each passing hour. Whenever he was in the school hallways, he felt extremely conscious of others and their stares, as if they were penetrating him and exposing his innermost thoughts. The feeling was alien and unnerving. As a boy, the third child was used to going unnoticed, and he preferred it that way. He much desired the anonymity of being plain and unspectacular. But in Asuka's body, he had unwillingly achieved some kind of celebrity, someone worth noticing and observing. Simply put, the experience had thrown Shinji's universe into chaos.

As oblivious as the third child was often noted to be—and he freely admitted he was antisocial to a fault—he was aware that Asuka had a reputation at his school, and one she had labored very long and hard to achieve. It wasn't easy being a foreigner in Japan, he figured, but she did have her looks on her side. While to some fitting in might have been a challenge, Asuka had used fear and awe of Western culture to her advantage. All the girls were desirous of Asuka's long legs, her sparkling blue eyes, and of course, her admirably developed breasts, both of which Shinji was want to conceal to the best of his abilities. All the boys wanted a chance to date her, and realistically, Asuka could have chosen any one she wished. The answer to the question of why she hadn't pursued a boyfriend still eluded him.

At the moment, however, that question was the last thing on the poor boy's mind. He was much more focused on being extra careful not to step on Asuka's metaphorical shoes and on trying to maintain her relationship at the school. He wasn't sure exactly what this meant, however. Asuka, Misato, and Rei hadn't groomed him on the social aspects of being Asuka, much less being female, so he had to improvise. He tried to wonder what Asuka would be doing right at that moment if things were normal. Eat lunch with Hikari, the class rep, was really the only thing he could think of. The idea of eating lunch with Hikari made him grimace.

Shinji walked timidly back down through the hallways looking for Hikari, hardly conforming to Asuka's usual flamboyant gait. The two were somewhat similar, he realized, both very pushy, demanding, organized, and perfectionists to the bitter end. More than likely, Hikari would subject him to a long and dreadful diatribe on how a lady ought to act only before making sure Toji and Kensuke weren't getting any bright ideas. In fact, his two, lecherous comrades had followed him everywhere the entire day, from class to cafeteria, recess yard to bathroom. They were relentless.

"What would you say is the most difficult thing getting used to?" Kensuke asked, holding his camera in front of Shinji's face as the three of them marched down the hallway.

"Shin-kun," Toji said. "We're best buds, right? Come on, show me something! Anything! Just a tiny peek, Shinji! It'll only be for a second! Come on! It's not like it's your body anyway!"

"…and would you say it's been easier so far, or harder, in terms of dealing with the day-to-day?" Kensuke's interview continued.

"Shinji," Toji whispered. "I'll give you 500 yen. Just one peek. You can think of it as a way to get back at Asuka for all those times she clobbered you for something stupid you did!"

"Enough!" scowled Shinji. "You guys, please! I can't take this right now!"

Just then, Shinji spotted the class rep through the throng of high school students, and waved. Predictably, Asuka's height and fiery hair caught Hikari's attention, and the class rep nodded and started picking her way through the crowd in their direction.

"Shinji, if you don't show me Asuka's panties, I'll tell her you did show me them, and a whole lot more. She'll kill you!"

Shinji spun around, angrily. "Are you even serious right now?"

Toji folded his arms brazenly across his muscular chest. "Do I look like I'm joking? I'll tell her you did the dirty right in front of me. While Kensuke filmed it."

"Hey wait-a-minute!" the techno-geek blanched. "Don't involve me in this!"

"Fine!" Shinji hissed. "If I show you one time will you just shut up about this?"

Toji nodded. "Scout's honor."

Shinji reddened, looking from side to side to make sure no one was paying attention, and quickly yanked his skirt up, revealing the yellow and white striped side-tie panties he'd been given earlier that morning. Toji's face melted into an indiscernible puddle of blushing features, and Kensuke's nose began to bleed. There was a sudden shriek from down the corridor, and Shinji's head spun as if struck by Asuka's hand in the direction of the sound. Blood drained from his face as he saw the class rep, her hand over her mouth in astonishment, and his own body standing beside her, eyes bulging in his sockets.

"No wait! It's not what you think!" Shinji started to explain pulling the skirt back down. His words were futile.

Light left the hallway. Everyone became shadows. Except Asuka, who stood in Shinji's body, quaking, hands balled into tight fists. Shinji screamed as he saw the flames begin to rise from the back of his school uniform. Asuka uttered something akin to a demonic growl, then began to charge. Toji tried to step in between Asuka and Shinji's imminent destruction, but the German simply karate kicked him into the adjacent wall, and he collapsed to the floor with an agonizing grunt.

"Asuka wait!" Shinji cried, raising his hands as if to deflect a blow. Asuka held her arm out as if about to strike, but then something that might have mistakenly been called mercy registered in her expression as she realized it was her own body she was about to pummel.

"Shinji, as soon as I get my body back," Asuka fumed.

"…you're going to kill me. I know," the third child conceded abysmally.

---

Hikari stared hard at the three of them, looking extremely cross. Kensuke fidgeting in the seat he'd been forced to occupy. Toji's arms were crossed again and he looked rather annoyed.

"I can see we're going to have to keep a closer eye on you, Shinji Ikari," the class rep said at length. "You and your pervert friends."

"I asked him to do it," Toji cut in.

"And he listened to you?" Hikari retorted angrily. "What kind of influence are you anyway?"

"Can I just go?" Kensuke murmured. "I have really nothing to do with any of this."

"I was bugging him all day about it, of course I'd wear him down eventually," the jock said triumphantly. He may really be a guy, but as a girl, he's just as easy as any other chic."

A look of abject horror arrested Hikari's face, and she looked as though she might erupt into tears, but Asuka spun around on the desk she'd been sitting on and smirked.

"Easy, you say? Girls are easy?"

"Yeah," said Toji defiantly.

Asuka pushed herself off the desk, walked over to Toji, yanked his arm toward her and pulled him out of his seat, then wrenched his arm at an awkward angle between her armpit and forearm. Suzuhara yelped, clawing helplessly at his shoulder, which Asuka could have dislocated easily if she applied even a little more torque. "Let's see how easy it is for you to escape this hold," she gleamed.

"Hey, take it easy, Asuka!" Shinji begged.

"I'll deal with you later, hentai boy!" the second child simmered.

"S…sorry," Shinji said, looking glum.

"It's simple really," Hikari finished. "When at school, Shinji will have to be accompanied by either myself, Asuka, or someone from the illustrious student council at all times."

"What? Why?" Shinji stammered.

"Because you clearly can't be trusted in my own damn body!" the irascible German roared.

"You're blowing this…ouch!...out of proportion!" Toji squirmed.

"Can… can I just go?" Kensuke asked quietly.

"No!" Asuka, Hikari, and Toji all boomed in unison.

"Look, Asuka, I'm really, really sorry I did that… it was a stupid thing to do… I'm sorry if it hurt your feelings, and I'll never do it again. I just… I'm so useless."

The word echoed in Asuka's mind, the same words she'd often used to describe Shinji while she berated him—and secretly the way she often felt about herself. Just how much had she affected Shinji's consciousness, she wondered. Was it just because they had switched bodies that she was feeling a strange and unusual kinship to the third child? It sickened her, but excited her at the same time. It made her feel unique; an intensely satisfying feeling for the girl whose synch ratio tests had recently been declining. Being unique set her apart from everyone else. Above everyone else. She didn't want to let that feeling go.

Asuka sighed letting Toji's arm free. He started rubbing it furiously and glared hatefully at her. "Shinji, I hope you know, I don't care if that's your body or what, I'm not missing the chance to give that stupid girl a beat down while I can't get in trouble for it."

"Look," Asuka said to Shinji. "I… I know you probably didn't mean to do it… but you're stupid and you don't think. That's why Hikari and I think it's a good idea to have you followed. There are lots of people who will try to take advantage of you. Your friends are two perfect examples."

"I didn't do anything wrong," Kensuke piped up defensively.

Asuka held up his camera and turned it in the reverse so that the video screen was showing a recorded feed. The video stream showed Shinji walking up a flight of stairs filmed from a rather lurid and explicit angle. Shinji's jaw dropped and he glared at Kensuke.

"Hey, what the hell?" he blurted.

Kensuke turned a deep maroon before fainting in his seat. Shinji looked cross.

"Asuka, I'll just stay home and get my work from my instructors! This is all too hard!"

"Hey dorkwad!" Asuka seethed. "For the moment, you are Asuka Langley Soryu, and that means you better start acting more like her, you got that? No more of this wimp crap!"

"I'm sorry…"

"Damn it, Shinji, stop apologizing! Freakin' stand up for yourself for once, God damn it!"

Toji and Hikari simply stared vacantly at Asuka. The German looked from one to the other. "What? What did I say?"

"You know, it's not so easy," Shinji started. "Trying to be someone who has such a huge, inflated ego and who can't shut up for more than five seconds! It's not like you're even trying to act more like me anyway! Answering every damn question in class! I would never speak unless the teacher called on me! Oh, but sure, I'm supposed to just be able to act like you as if it's natural for me to be loud and bossy and obnoxious! Why don't you just give it a rest for once, ok? God!"

The third child stood up from his chair, looked at each of them, their faces aghast and paralyzed with shock, then walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

"Wh…whoa," Toji said.

It took an extra moment or two for Asuka to shake the shock of Shinji's sudden outburst, but she started grinning broadly. "Now that's much more like it," she nodded agreeably.

---

Fighting back tears, Shinji fled the classroom and his friends and made straight for the restroom. He pushed the door open and ran inside, placing his arms down on opposite sides of the sink, staring down into the basin as if he was going to vomit. His heart was racing in his chest, pounding in his ears. There was a tightening sensation in his abdomen, and he felt his skin crawl.

Who are you? Rei's voice echoed in his mind. Who are you, Shinji Ikari?

Shinji stopped breathing. Everything else around him faded into a feathery white dreamscape. The third child felt a warm breeze caress his skin. Asuka's skin.

Who are you, Shinji Ikari?

"I am Shinji."

Who is Shinji?

"Shinji is me. I am Shinji."

Who is I?

The question caught him off guard, and he didn't know how to answer it, but for some reason he felt compelled to try. The warmness of the wind calmed him.

"I am I. I am the person who is called Shinji Ikari."

So you are I because you have been labeled Shinji Ikari and because you are a person.

"Yes. Well… no… I am 'I' because I am a person named Shinji Ikari who occupies this space. There could be another Shinji Ikari somewhere, I suppose, but not here."

So your existence is defined by the space you occupy.

"No, I guess it isn't."

Then who is Shinji Ikari? Is Shinji Ikari a person who occupies space?

"I have my own thoughts."

You think, therefore, you exist.

"Yes."

Then the space you occupy is irrelevant to your existence.

"No, if I didn't occupy this space, I wouldn't exist. If it wasn't for this body, I wouldn't—"

But then it dawned on him, slowly and provocatively, that although he was in fact still himself, still thinking like Shinji Ikari, endowed with all the emotions and memories of Shinji Ikari, he was not in fact Shinji Ikari. He no longer occupied the same space he used to occupy.

Who is Shinji Ikari? Rei's voice repeated.

The third child lurched out of the whiteness of the trance and back to the dim reality of the bathroom. He looked up from the sink and into the mirror. There was a crack in it, causing Asuka's image to distort. Shinji stared at the crack for several moments before beginning to scream and clawing at Asuka's face.

"Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" he repeated, over and over. "I want to go back! I want to go home! Let me go!"

Asuka pushed her way into the bathroom. Shinji regarded her, his fingers caught in the tangles of her hair.

"What were you doing just now?" she blurted quizzically.

"He…help me," Shinji whispered. He started to cry.

"Oh, Jesus…" said Asuka quietly, walking over to Shinji and taking him into her arms. Shinji sobbed against her. "I… look, Shin… I… I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean all that crap I said before, alright?"

"I… I can't do this…" Shinji stammered.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I think I'm losing my mind," the third child exclaimed.

"Huh? What do you mean? Start talking some sense, idiot!"

"I'm starting to forget who I am!" he told her.

Asuka released Shinji. She looked at him carefully. "I don't understand."

"Asuka, who do you think I am?" Shinji asked.

"You…you're Shinji Ikari. The third child. You pilot Unit 01 for NERV."

Shinji's growing impatience with Asuka was brought to a simmer. "That's not what I mean!" he spat back. "Who am I?"

"What the hell are you talking about, Shinji? You're my roommate at Misato's… you're my competition for synch ratio tests… I mean what do you want me to say?"

"Those are all labels," Shinji shrugged. "Things to describe me. But they don't tell you who I am."

"I think I know what you mean," Asuka smirked. "Where'd you get all this philosophy crap all of a sudden, Shinji? You been borrowing Misato's Existentialist books?"

"No…"

"You want an affirmation of your individuality, isn't that right?" The German smiled.

Shinji looked up at the girl with an expression of disbelief on his face. Did she really understand what he was asking, or was her supposition sheer coincidence. What Shinji desperately wanted, needed, was to believe that he was. He wanted to believe that he existed as something more than a mere placeholder in time. All of his thoughts, his intuition, and his memories—were they meaningless? Did he truly need his own body to be himself, whomever that might be?

Asuka sighed deeply. "Shinji… philosophy is like… something you can talk and talk and talk about, right? But you just don't ever get anywhere by talking about anything, only by doing something. It's a Western phrase, "Actions speak louder than words." It basically means the stuff that you do in your life is more important than the stuff that you think about. Which is not to say quiet people are stupid or don't get anything done, it's just saying that you define yourself through your deeds. Do you know what I'm saying? Come on, work with me here, numbskull!"

"Yeah, I think so," Shinji said through sniffles.

"Good, cause you've got my brain to work with right now, so don't make me look stupid."

Shinji smiled feebly. "That's true, I guess."

"Shinji, the very fact that you and I are having this conversation is proof that we are two unique entities. I… I'm not sure how that works actually, but that's what I was taught at the University of Berlin. Anyway, look, we've got a full day today. Synch ratio tests and a movie."

"Right. Wait, movie?"

"Yeah, Ritsuko suggest you and I go see a movie or something to blow off some steam." She blushed. "Look, I don't know, it's stupid scientist talk I'm sure, but hey, wouldn't you rather be in an air conditioned cinema then piloting a big hunk of scrap metal?"

Truth be told, Shinji would have preferred EVA combat training drills than going to a movie with Asuka.

"Nobody told me about it or anything," Shinji said dejectedly.

"Don't be a lug," Asuka scowled. "It's not every day Shinji Ikari gets the chance to go see a movie with The Great Asuka Soryu."

"But… I'm The Great Asuka Soryu," the third child argued.

"Baka," Asuka retorted.

---

Gendo sat at his desk, hands folded in typical fashion, staring blankly ahead at the first of the giant panels that represented the SELEE Council. The inquisition never failed, the senior Ikari thought, to make intrusions into his affairs at the worst possible moments. His shoulders moved imperceptibly as he shifted slightly in his seat.

"Gendo Ikari," said the first of the councilmen. "You have not recently been as candid with us as we would have hoped one who is almost entirely bankrolled by our organization would be."

"Oh, is that right?" Gendo said sarcastically.

"We expect you to be more forthcoming with us, especially if you are stepping up the time tables on our operation."

Gendo nodded sagely. "It's under control."

"Is it?" another councilman asked. "We have heard there was a debacle with two of your pilots during an experimental test phase. What of these accusations, Mr. Ikari?"

"All three of our pilots are in perfect working order, and they will in fact be running drills this afternoon. If any of you distinguished gentlemen would like to attend, I'm sure I can arrange the correct paperwork be drawn up—"

"This task was given to you under the pretense of absolute discretion," one of the other panels cut in. "It would seem that NERV is, after all, a free-flowing gutter of information, regardless of how sacred that information might be."

Gendo bristled. "There is nothing sacred in what you do," he said. "I alone have been to the brink and gazed upon the designs of the divine while you sit entrenched at your desks behind the barricades of your bureaucracy. You haven't a clue in hell what any of this means."

"Let us not get into a spat like common rogues," the first councilman interjected. "These are difficult times, Gendo, and we can't have the U.N. and their cronies interfering."

"Of course not, and my vice-chairman Fuyutsuki is making sure of that."

"We are embarking on a great odyssey," the third panel said. "The marriage of science and the supreme has enabled us to see beyond what men see."

"We are the astronomers and the prophets of the new millennium," another panel added. "Mankind has proven themselves repeatedly unworthy to enjoy such a renaissance."

"And you?" Gendo said. "Why are you worthy?"

"That does not concern you," the first councilman said firmly. "We are the demigods, and you are our instrument, the portcullis to the divine. You will continue with Project Archimedes, but you will deny our involvement as well as any connection with Gehirn."

"Fine."

"And one last thing, Gendo Ikari."

"And that is?" the chief commander at NERV inquired grimly, preparing himself for the worst.

"We will be sending you a fourth pilot of our designation, and he will be arriving this evening."

The panels disappeared one by one. "Don't fail us," was the final parting phrase issued by the first councilman before Gendo was left in silence. The senior Ikari grinded his teeth angrily.

"Get up," he said. There was a shuffle, and Ritsuko emerged from beneath Gendo's desk, wiping her mouth. "Did you know about the fourth pilot?"

"No," the woman said.

Gendo smacked her hard across the face. "You should have. And you should have told me about it. Now leave my sight before I have you reassigned to the Antarctic."

"Yes sir," Ritsuko replied solemnly.

Gendo enjoyed his solace for another minute before picking up the receiver on his desk and dialing a number. After a moment, there were several bleeps from the other line, followed by an automated message that said: Code in now.

"Gendo Ikari. One-one-four-seven-one," the commander said. The line clicked several times, then someone picked up on the other line.

"How may I direct your call?" the operator said.

"Get me the Chief Director of Quantum Sciences, Gehirn East Berlin division. Yes, that's right. Kozou Fuyutsuki. Yes, patch me through, now."