Disclaimer: Kishi owns Naruto.

A/N: The "contest of the insulters" became more of a tag-team. And, of course, it had to happen at…


Chapter 8: The Hot Springs


Naruto and Sasuke were sprawled on the grass after an evening spar, exhilarated but exhausted. Sasuke was lying on his back, watching the setting sun turn the sky red and the clouds gold. It was a wondrous sight. Naruto was lying beside Sasuke, watching the evening breeze ruffle Sasuke's hair and the waning light cast shadows across his face. That too was a wondrous sight. Sasuke was back in Konoha and back to normal, and everything was just like old times… It was a perfect moment that Naruto wished could last forever.

"NARUTO!!!" came a familiar screech that shattered the evening tranquility.

Naruto sat up, and Sasuke turned his head toward the noise. Sakura, all dressed up, her hair and makeup done, was stomping towards them.

"Sakura-chan?" cried Naruto, alarmed. "What is it?"

"What is it!!??" shrieked Sakura. "What do you think it is!? You forgot our dinner tonight!! I've been waiting for you for half an hour!!!"

Naruto paused for a moment. Oh yeah, he remembered. Sakura had suggested that they go to a fancy restaurant that evening. They had been having unofficial dates like these for a few months, but Naruto had forgotten all about their plans tonight. Wow, he had actually forgotten a date with Sakura!

"I'm so sorry, Sakura-chan!" said Naruto quickly. "I was just sparring with Sasuke, and I just lost track of time…" But his apology was not entirely sincere. He was sorry that he had forgotten about Sakura, but he had truly enjoyed how he had spent the last half-hour.

"Well, all right," said Sakura, relenting. Since Sasuke had just gotten back, she would be lenient to Naruto. Still… Sakura had planned something extra special for Naruto tonight—partly out of guilt at her own inability to keep Sasuke out of her head. Even now, her gaze was wandering to Sasuke…

Sakura cleared her head of such thoughts. "Just remember, both of you, that we're all going to the hot springs together tomorrow," said Sakura.

"Don't worry, we'll be there," said Naruto.

"Is it all right if Karin comes along?" asked Sasuke. "She's not on a mission right now, and I don't want to just ditch her."

"Sure!" said Naruto immediately. "She's more than welcome!"

Sakura sighed inwardly. She would have to put up with Karin again…


A high wall separated the men's pool—where Naruto, Sasuke, Sai, Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba, Shino, Lee, and Neji were soaking—and the women's pool—where Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Tenten, and Karin were soaking. Of course, a high wall was not soundproof.

Sakura and Tenten were distracted from their jealous staring at Hinata's chest by a loud comment from the boys' side.

"My, what small dicks all of you have," said Sai loudly. "Except for—bbblublulublub!!" Sai was silenced when Naruto and Kiba shoved his head underwater.

"Except for who, I wonder?" whispered Ino to Sakura.

"Ino!" admonished Sakura.

"Ah, that proves my suspicion," declared Karin loudly, "that Konoha men are as well-endowed as Konoha women—that is to say, not at all."

"You insulting bitch!" snapped Sakura.

"You, Pink, are a perfect example of what I mean," said Karin. "Just look at your own unsightly, flat—"

Sakura raised her fist.

"—forehead," amended Karin quickly.

"I must say, Karin-san, it sounded like you were going to say 'rack,'" came Sai's voice again. Snickering broke out on the boys' side.

"I'M COMING TO KILL YOU ALL!!" roared Sakura.

"Any excuse to see naked boys, huh?" quipped Karin.

"You b—!!" began Sakura.

"Neji-kun, Shino-kun, Sasuke-kun, it's okay to laugh," interrupted Sai's voice. "You'll die if you keep trying to hold it in. And Lee-kun, you should take a break from training and borrow some books from Kakashi-senpai. It's not normal for a boy of your age to look that clueless about matters of sexuali—" The rest of Sai's comment was drowned out by uproarious laughter from Naruto, Kiba, Shikamaru, and Choji.

"Wait, I don't think I'm clear about who's on whose team," said Karin. "Now, let me see if I have this right: Boobs is with Dog-boy and Bug-boy; Hairbuns is with Bowl-Cut and Cover-Girl; Blondie's with Gluttony and Sloth; and Pink's with Fox-boy and Belly-Dancer."

By the time Karin finished, the boys' pool was a cacophony of cackling and fuming.

"Ahaha! Cover-Girl! Gluttony and Sloth! That's just perfect!" laughed Kiba.

"Look who's talking, Dog-boy," retorted Shikamaru.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with canine pride," declared Kiba.

"There's nothing wrong with appreciating your food either!" cried Choji defensively.

"Cover-Girl?" said Lee curiously. "Is that a reference to your extraordinarily long and well-kept hair, Neji-kun?"

"Shut it, Bowl-Cut," snapped Neji.

"Belly-Dancer!" chortled Naruto. "Oh, she got you good, Sai!"

"I admit, Karin-san's nicknaming ability surpasses my own," said Sai humbly.

"By the way, Karin," said Naruto, "what's your nickname for Sasuke?"

"I-I don't have a nickname for Sasuke!" came Karin's obviously untruthful reply.

"Yeah, right," Naruto rolled his eyes. He added in an audible undertone, "It's probably 'Sex-god' or something…"

THWACK! "Can it, usuratonkachi," snapped Sasuke.

And, on the girls' side…

"Ah, Hinata, you are so lucky," Sakura sighed. "I wish I had your…you know."

"Uh, heh heh…" Hinata blushed furiously.

"Do not worry, Sakura-san! You are beautiful as you are!" came Lee's voice. "By the way, Kiba-kun, why are you blushing?"

"I'm not blushing!" snapped Kiba quickly. "It's your imagination!"

"Ah, I see," said Sai, picking up the hint. "Dog-boy likes Boo—bbllublublubb!!!" Sai's head was again shoved underwater by Kiba.

"You know, this is kind of awkward, talking about private parts and such while we're all sitting naked in a hot spring," remarked Shino bluntly.

"I don't think so at all!" disagreed Ino. "As long as we're all satisfied with ourselves and don't have body image issues—"

"Yeah, very convincing, Madam Anorexia," cut in Karin. "During the one time I had dinner with you, you talked about, what, five diets you've been on?"

"Hey!" cried Ino.

"Seriously, I should give Pink, Blondie, and Boobs new nicknames: Flat, Eating Disorder, and Shy," quipped Karin.

"Now, that's just mean!" cried Tenten.

"Yet, it aptly captures their insecurities," came Sai's voice.

"Girls should be self-confident!" declared Tenten. "Be happy with ourselves and proud of who we are!"

"Says the girl who's already snagged Neji," put in Ino.

"Oh, Hairbuns is dating Cover-Girl?" said Karin. "Well then, tell me, Hairbuns, how does it feel to date a guy with longer hair than you?"

"Oh please, who cares about hair length?" scoffed Tenten. "The most important things in a relationship are mutual affection, and respect, and trust—"

"Stop it, Tenten, you're embarrassing Neji," chuckled Shikamaru.

"Well, Shikamaru, what about you and Temari?" said Tenten. "You two have a lot of tolerance for each other, so there must be fondness and caring—"

"Stop it, Tenten, you're embarrassing Shikamaru," chuckled Neji.

"I wish I had a boyfriend," sighed Ino.

"Keep wishing," said Karin cruelly.

"Oh, Karin," said Ino, smiling sweetly. "We all know which dark-haired, dark-eyed, pale-skinned hottie you like, and I'm sure he doesn't want a certain pair of vile, repulsive, filth-spewing lips anywhere near his mouth."

Trumpet-like snorts sounded from the boys' side.

"Oh, Ino," said Karin, equally sweetly. "We all know whose 'gorgeous face' and 'superhot body' you like gawking at, and I'm sure he doesn't want a certain colorless, makeup-caked, half-hair-covered face to traumatize his 'arresting eyes.'"

"I hope you are talking about Sasuke-kun," came Sai's voice, "because I pray to God that you are not talking about me."

That did it.

On the boys' side, Sasuke clambered out of the pool, grabbed a towel, and ran for the changing room. After a moment of confusion, Naruto sprang up, wrapped his towel around his waist, and ran after Sasuke. As soon as Naruto shut the changing room door behind them, Sasuke walked over to the wall, leaned his head against it, and began laughing his head off.

Naruto watched in awe, listening to Sasuke laugh and laugh, not wildly or crazily, but in genuine mirth. Then, Naruto began laughing too, until both of them were just laughing like there was no tomorrow.

Then, Sasuke turned towards Naruto—and Naruto's breath caught at the sight. Sasuke, with laughter lighting up his features, mirth dancing in his eyes, and water dripping across his face and hair and body, as he tilted his head slightly to look at Naruto…

Suddenly, Naruto realized just how very confused he was.


A/N: Okay, that's the last Sasuke-wet-and-naked scene XD. Had to add some physical attraction, without going into full lust mode… Hope it worked…