Author's Note: Here you go, guys! Please express your opinions on this story, good or bad, it's the only way to improve this fic, plus, it kinda makes my day :)

Disclaimer: All character belong to their respective owners.


Maura gets better. It has been 3 weeks since she and Jane have been sleeping in Maura's bed. After 2 weeks the nightmares are gone. She learns how to fight the flashbacks on her own, until she reaches a point where she realizes she doesn't even need Jane anymore there with her. And that feels her with dread. She is afraid again, except this time she feels fear coursing through her when she thinks Jane will find out how well she is handling the situation on her own, and she will back down. Not that she will distance herself as a friend, Maura knows their friendship is one that lasts forever. But she is afraid Jane will go back to sleeping in the guest room, will no longer hold her hand to remind her she is there, or simply will go back to how they were before the accident. Maura knows that Jane won't cut off totally the physical connection they have, but now that she knows how nice it is to sleep with Jane every night, or always touch her some way or another, the thought or giving that away is unbearable.

She would fake it if the hives didn't give her away. She would even accept the nightmares again happily if they came if the same package with Jane's strong arms around her to hold her and ground her.

But she knows that's not possible. She also knows when it will end her heart will break beyond the point where you can put the pieces back together.

So, instead of having to watch Jane distance herself from her, she does it herself. She pulls her hand away, after a few seconds. She doesn't hold Jane's gaze. At night, in bed, she tries to keep a distance between their bodies. And it breaks her heart every time she sees how Jane tries to hold it together, to keep the hurt look from her eyes. How she tries to act like it doesn't shatter her into a million pieces that Maura no longer needs, or wants her physical support and affection.

She can't have Jane break her heart when she would eventually pull away.

So before that happens,

She breaks it herself.

Except their hearts are bound together with an invisible wire, so when one falls and breaks, the other one explodes from the fall and from the collision with the shattered pieces of the first one.

Jane's heart is the one shuttered twice.

She hasn't been oblivious to Maura's miraculous recovery. To the way her never-ending presence is no longer needed.

But Maura is her drug, and she has taken an over doze.

She has always found the goofy, naive, sometimes socially-awkward doctor breathtakingly stunning. She has always felt a little bit of jealousy in the pit of her stomach when Maura mentioned a good date with some nice, refined, high-royalty gentleman.

She thought it was natural, that it happened because it would mean she would get to spend less time with her best-friend, so she never gave it much thought.

But then she has seen the best friend break down and only find shelter in her arms.

She has seen Maura not being able to sleep, but somehow her soothing whisper would send the doctor into a peaceful slumber.

She has seen how, in the middle of the night, Maura's brow relaxed if she laced their fingers together or ran the fingers through honey blonde hair.

She has seen how Maura leaned into her touch, consciously or not.

And now she couldn't stop from needing more of everything with every passing day.

More of hands on the small of Maura's back. More intertwined fingers. More hushed whispers of "it's ok" "you're safe with me" in the middle of the night. More thankful and loving glances. More embraces.

But not only that she didn't receive more of it, her doze grew smaller and smaller.

Maura didn't close up to her emotionally. They would still talk during the evenings. They would still spend their days together. They would still sleep in the same bed.

But now, when Jane lied down, Maura would turn on her side, her back facing the brunette.

When Maura would head up to the bedroom, she would no longer stretch out her hand for Jane to take, or wait for her to follow.

When Jane tried to convey the way she was feeling in her gaze, Maura wouldn't meet her eyes.

But what truly did it for Jane,

What made her go crazy,

Is that she has no idea what to do now, or how to fix it.

She doesn't even know if this is something for her to fix.

Jane knows it's good Maura no longer has nightmares, or needs her there when she has a now rare flashback. She knows this is what she should be hoping – for Maura to get better and stand on her feet again.

But she also knows it's killing her inside.

Maura's recovery took away her excuse, no, her reason to constantly be physically there for Maura.

Her reason to smell Maura's intoxicating scent.

Her reason to feel Maura's smooth, warm skin under her scarred hands.

And she hates it.


It's a cold, November night. Maura is already lying on the bed, but Jane can tell the blonde is not asleep yet. The brunette goes over to her side and quietly joins the other woman, but doesn't lie down completely. She rests her back on the headboard, and lets out a deep sigh.

After a couple of minutes listening to the small insistent rain drops fall around and surround them, Jane speaks, but low tone of her voice shows she doesn't quite expect an answer.

"You haven't had any more nightmares in quite some time."

Jane knows Maura probably fell asleep, but that doesn't keep her from going on.

"And you don't even need my help anymore when you have a flashback…"

"Don't do this Jane." Maura hasn't been sleeping, but pretending was her best defense against Jane's presence. She decided to let the brunette talk when she first heard her, but when she caught the crack at the end of Jane's words, she couldn't keep quiet anymore.

"Do what?"

"Don't pull away,"

Jane lets out a shaky breath before answering,

"I'm not the one pulling away, Maur',"

Hearing Jane angry or shouting would've hurt less than hearing Jane say that in a gentle, soft voice. Still caring. Still there.

Before Maura gets to form an answer, Jane continues,

"But it's okay, Maur'." Jane shrugs her shoulders, in a feeble attempt to keep her tears at bay, even though she knows the blonde can't see her face. "Really, it is. I…I get it. I'm sorry if I've been too insistent during these past 2 months, I just…I couldn't let you do it all by yourself, not with me in the corner of the room watching you struggle knowing that I can help make it better…" The brunette trails off and takes a small pause, not knowing how to make her point. "Look Maur', all I wish for is that you won't do something you will regret later. That's all I ever wanted."

Hearing Jane's strangled voice and knowing what that means, Maura turns, but Jane is already on her side, facing away from her. She decides to give the detective some space, now the first time that Jane actually needs it.

They both sleep poorly, but in the light of the almost one-sided conversation that happened before bed, neither reaches out for comfort. Jane dozes in and out of nightmares about losing her friend, physically or emotionally, and Maura dreams about being taken away from Jane against her will.

However, Jane has way more trouble resting, and falls into a deep agitated sleep when dawn breaks, only because tiredness took over her.

When she wakes up and sees the weather outside hasn't improved, she expects to see Maura still asleep beside her, or at least hear her moving around the house. Only, for the first time since forever, she sees a note on the blonde's pillow. She'd recognize that tall, slim, slightly leaned over to the right letters anywhere. The note read "I'm out for a run. Don't wait for me."

Her hearts clenches at the thought that Maura went running without her, and told her not to expect her home anytime soon. She decides to drown her sorrow in some beer and recorded baseball games.


It is soon noon and Maura still hasn't showed up home and Jane begins to worry. She knows very well Maura can take care of herself, but still she can't seem to stop thinking about worse case scenarios. After 2 more hours of fidgeting and walking around aimlessly around the house, she calls Frost and tells him she thinks something happened to Maura. Of course, Frost, being the nice guy that he is, he puts her mind to rest and decides to start doing what he can to find out if anything happened to the doctor. Even so, Jane can't just sit around doing nothing, so she gets dressed accordingly to the horrible weather and decides to follow their old running track looking for a sign of her best friend.

Just as she is leaving the house, her phone rings.

"Frost, please tell me you've found her,"

"Jane…" His voice makes her blood run cold.

"Frost what is it? What happened?"

"I got a call from the hospital. Maura got carried in by a stranger. He said to a resident he found her lying on the street, her face was pale and she was unresponsive. He decided to carry her into the emergency room."

"Shit, no! She had a flashback. Where is she now? Is she still at the hospital? Did you check the man that brought her in? What if he hurt her?"

Jane's rambling is interrupted by Frost's calm voice.

"Jane. She is fine. And yes, I checked him, he's clean. I'll go to the hospital and get her discharged and give her a ride home. Stay there for when we arrive."

"Yes, okay…Frost?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

"No problem."

After the call ended, Jane quickly changes back into her sweatpants and decides to prepare a bath with hot water for Maura when she arrives and a hot meal.

But most importantly, prepare herself.


AN : You'll get some rizzles action soon enough! Just bear with me a little longer :)