By the time Jess woke up, the afternoon sun was creeping through the blinds. Her eyes fluttered open to find Cam sitting on the edge of the bed. He'd changed into jeans and a long-sleeve t-shirt. His back was to her and he was pulling socks on his feet, his hair still damp from showering.
"You showered," Jess stated.
"You're awake," he turned and smiled at her.
"You shaved too," she noted that the day old stubble was gone from his chin.
Cam reached out and brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face.
"Yeah, well we can't all waste the day away in bed," he lightly teased.
Jess felt her cheeks flush. Between their current circumstance and their earlier conversation she was feeling very exposed, even if she was fully clothed.
"You roll around a lot in your sleep," Cam observed.
"Sorry," Jess apologized, the red of her cheeks deepening.
"Don't be. Now if you snored, we might have a problem," he was trying to get her to smile. It worked.
Jess rolled onto her back. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. The whole day had been a bit of an emotional blur for her. Having the nightmare, the hours of wrestling with what she really needed, actually saying what she'd been through out loud, and now waking up in Lt. Col. Cameron Mitchell's bed. She wasn't sure what it all added up to.
When Jess opened her eyes back up, she found Cam watching her.
"What?" she asked a little flustered.
Jess had slept like the dead, and it had given Cam time to carefully consider what she shared with him. There was just one thing about what she said that was nagging him.
"Can I ask you a question?" he frowned, picking at the comforter.
Jess sighed, but nodded. She sat up needing to be upright if the conversation was going to turn serious again.
"Why haven't you told anyone else about what happened?" The only thing Cam couldn't grasp was why she'd kept it all a secret.
Jess tried to articulate her feelings, "Regardless of circumstances, I'm not proud of what I did. I used to think I was a better person then that."
"Jess," Cam reached out and cradled her chin in his palm. "What happened to you out there doesn't define who you are. Give yourself some credit. There's more to you then those three weeks."
It was what she needed to hear, and coming from Cam gave it more weight. As a soldier he knew that deplorable things happened in war. In essence he was giving her permission to forgive herself. His understanding wasn't enough to heal the wound, but it was enough to let Jess know that in time, just maybe it could get better.
Cam saw the relief on Jess' face. He hoped it meant she'd finally stop flogging herself for the past and start concentrating on the future.
"Feel better?" he asked.
Jess breathed in deeply, debating his question in her mind.
"I'm starting to," she answered honestly. "Thank you."
"For what?" Cam didn't think he'd done all that much.
"For everything," Jess said sincerely.
"You're welcome," Cam was grinning at her.
Their moment was interrupted by a knock on Cam's door. Cam looked over his shoulder toward the hall. He hadn't been expecting anyone.
"Stay," he ordered. Then hopped off the bed, and walked out of the room.
Cam looked out the peak hole to see who it was.
"Jackson," he groaned. Cam opened the door but didn't invite the archeologist in.
"Hi," Daniel said as Cam stood waiting.
"What do you want?" Cam asked nervously looking over his shoulder. Given her earlier remark about them working together, he figured Jess wouldn't want to be found at his place by another member of SG1.
Daniel raised both his eyebrows. "Ok then. Have you seen Jess since last night?"
"O'Connor? Why?" Cam coughed.
"Because Maggie called me looking for her. She hasn't been home all day and isn't answering her cell phone. Maggie said..." Daniel stopped him self mid explanation, clueing into what was going on. "She's here isn't she?"
"Who?" Cam asked trying to look nonchalant.
"Jess," Daniel answered.
"Why would she be here?" Cam scratched the back of his head.
"You tell me," Daniel's head was starting to ache.
Before Cam could answer, Daniel caught a glimpse of Jess scrabbling into the living room. She grabbed her cell phone from the coffee table where she had left it earlier and disappeared back down the hall.
Jess had gotten out of bed looking for the bathroom, and had overheard Daniel say Maggie's name. She knew that her aunt must be having a fit. Maggie knew she'd been upset last night, and God only knew how long she'd been trying to reach Jess.
Both men watched her go. Daniel snapped back to Cam looking for an explanation.
"It's not what you're thinking," Cam got defensive.
"What am I thinking?" Daniel questioned.
"Coffee," Cam blurted out suddenly remembering the long forgotten pot he'd put on when Jess first arrived. "She stopped by for a cup of coffee."
Daniel wasn't buying it.
"You could have called first," Cam accused his accuser.
"I tried," Daniel shot back at Cam. "Your line was busy and you weren't answering your cell."
Cam mentally kicked himself. He'd taken his land line off the hook so it wouldn't wake Jess. His cell phone must have rung while he was in the shower.
"Well, why were you so sure I'd know where she was anyway?" Cam realized how dumb that must sound since she was there.
"I was right," Daniel retorted.
"Yeah, well," Cam struggled with something else to say.
Jess saved him the effort, "So, Sir, thanks for the cup of coffee, but I've got to go."
She'd come up from behind him and was carefully eyeing Daniel, trying to read his interpretation of finding her at Cam's place.
"See coffee," Cam gestured to add emphasis.
"Is everything ok?" Daniel asked. He'd never seen Jess so ruffled or Cam so flustered. If it was just coffee, why were they both so nervous?
"Yeah, fine," Jess asserted. "Maggie worries too much."
Jess could feel an awkward little grin creep uncomfortably across her face. What else could she say? She could only imagine what Daniel must be thinking. She counted her blessings for coming up with the same lame cup of coffee excuse Cam had apparently already given him. At least their story was consistent.
"I'm just going to go now," Jess bit her bottom lip and wormed her way past the two men into the hallway. She offered a little wave before making her less than graceful exit from the scene.
A dumbfounded Daniel looked at Cam. "So I thought there were rules against that?"
"Against what?" Cam was getting defensive again.
"For two military officers to have, coffee, together," Daniel's inflection emphasized what he wasn't saying.
"Jackson I swear it was just Folgers," Cam tried again.
The next day was Christmas. Jess spent it on the ranch with Maggie and Joe. They opened presents after the morning chores and Jess took a long horseback ride in the afternoon. All in all it was a peaceful, quiet, lazy kind of day.
On Monday she got up and saw to the usual chores. She even took time to wash all the tack and reorganize the equipment room. By noon she was back up at the house trying to decide what to do with her afternoon. After a quick bite to eat, she sat down at the kitchen table with a pencil and the morning paper. Absent mindedly she looked at the crossword puzzle, but didn't fill in any answers.
Jess was feeling agitated, almost over-caffeinated, making it impossible to concentrate on the puzzle. She couldn't sit still, and was tapping the pencil in time with her bouncing knee.
Maggie watched all of this. Her niece's behavior had been off since the night of the party. First she disappears for better than half a day, and then she sleeps soundly two full nights in a row. Now she was bouncing off the walls.
"Who put ants in your pants?" Maggie finally asked, snatching the pencil that Jess was tapping out of her niece's hand.
"What? Nobody, I'm just bored," Jess reached for the pencil, but Maggie wouldn't give it up. "Maybe I'll go into town."
"Maybe you should," Maggie wanted this ball of energy out of her kitchen before Jess drove her nuts.
"I don't know, maybe not," exasperated, Jess banged her head on the table. "Ugh! Maggie what's wrong with me?"
"I've been wondering that same thing myself," Maggie sat down, exhausted from watching Jess.
"Maybe I'm sick, do I feel like I have a fever," Jess took her aunt's hand and put it on her forehead.
Maggie had to laugh at Jess' antics. She hadn't seen Jess like this since she came home from school with her first crush. Maggie suddenly realized what was going on. "He kissed you didn't he?"
"What, who? What, when?" Jess jumped up from the table and went to the sink to get a glass of water.
"What do you mean who? Him! That Lt. Colonel the night of the party," Maggie was sure of it. She thought Jess had been upset that night because Cam had tried to kiss her and she didn't want him too, but maybe what had upset Jess was that he had kissed her and she liked it.
"It was nothing, just mistletoe, you know the whole Christmas tradition thing" Jess insisted. She took a long drink of water, watching her aunt over the rim of the glass to see if she fell for it. She didn't.
"Nothing? Nothing doesn't make a woman antsy while waiting for the phone to ring," Maggie crossed her arms.
"Humph! When have you ever known me to wait around for some guy to call?" Jess put her glass in the sink and crossed her arms.
"Never, that's why this is so interesting," Maggie was openly mocking her niece.
Their banter was interrupted when Jess' cell phone rang. She just stared at it. Two ringsā¦
"Would you answer it!" Maggie hollered.
Jess lunged across the room to where she'd left the phone on the table, and picked it up on the forth ring.
"Major O'Connor," she answered. Maggie was biting her nails.
"Yes Sir, I understand Sir, I'll be there within the hour," Jess snapped the phone shut. "I've got to go."
"They're canceling your leave?" Maggie was disappointed for more than one reason.
Jess just shrugged.
"Need me to give you a lift?" Maggie asked.
"Thanks, but they already sent a jeep. It should be here shortly," Jess explained. It was a good sign that she wouldn't be home again anytime soon. The SGC didn't like having cars stacked up in its lot from Prometheus' personnel, and regularly found other ways of getting the crew on base when necessary.
Jess headed to her room to grab her things. Duty called.
