So I'm just going to come out and say it: I hate Clarvel to death and all my good friends know that very well, now you do too. I would rather sink on the Clato Titanic then get on the Clarvel lifeboats. So I apologize if you don't think I write Clarvel well, it's not my intention.

Glad we got that covered! Enjoy this chapter, and please don't favorite/follow without reviewing!


Where there is desire

There is gonna be a flame

Where there is a flame

Someone's bound to get burned

But just because it burns

Doesn't mean you're gonna die

You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Gotta get up and try, and try, and try

You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

-Try; P!NK


Katniss curls up on her hospital bed, feeling useless and shrunken down a size because now everyone knew. Glimmer knew, Johanna knew, Clove knew. And worst of all, Marvel knew.

She wants to throw every machine in this room out the window and onto the street, because then maybe she could believe that she wasn't the one who needed them. She'd never done anything bad, she was a good girl and a friend of anyone who tried.

She feels a hand in hers and closes her eyes. The hand was warm and shaking, or maybe that was hers.

"... why didn't you tell anyone, Katniss?" She can hear the pain in his voice. "I could've—"

"Could've what, Marvel? What's done is done, this is my mistake. The infection's going to be there for the rest of my life." She mumbles sadly, rolling over to face him slowly.

They look at each other for awhile, just sharing gazes and he rubs the back of her delicate hand with his thumb.

"You don't want to be with me." Katniss says, her soft voice catching behind the lump in her throat.

"Of course I do, Kat." He whispers to her.

She shook her head. "No, you really don't. You don't want to be tied down to a.. to a.. disease."

He shakes his head, looking at her with tearful green eyes. "You and I both know you don't mean that."

Seeing this girl in pain was hard, he hadn't even been with her for that long. But Katniss was never this sad, never this vulnerable. It made him wish he could transfer all her pain to himself just so she could be that girl again.

He understands now why she didn't want to tell anyone.

A small tear goes down her cheek and she reaches her arms up to hug him. She bites into the fabric covering his shoulder, trying not to grit her teeth too hard.

"I'm sorry," She sobs into his shoulder, her cries loud and uncontrollable; he rubs her back and curbs his own tears.

"I don't want you to get hurt.." melted from her mouth, like wax.


Clove sits in the bathroom, her legs hanging off the edge of the counter and she eyes her shoes warily. The only thing she ever liked about the hospital was that it was sterile and clean, but otherwise there were germs everywhere and everything was open. Danger was everywhere here.

Why was she worrying so much about Katniss? They were hardly even friends, they were just acquaintances so far. But Katniss had been one of the first people to accept her for her differences in high school. Nobody ever accepted differences, that was why Clove was the way she was.

If people couldn't embrace her differences, she wouldn't embrace theirs.

She now wonders how Cato could be so confident in who he was. Maybe personality trait peculiarities were much more frivolous in Poland, but certainly not here. She frowned, maybe she should live in Europe.

The door opens to reveal the foreign boy himself, peeking in nervously as if she were a queen that must grant his access.

"Yeah," She mutters, and he walks in; shutting the door behind him.

He's standing in front of her an awkward expression, she raises an eyebrow. "What?" Her voice was icy, but he's not scared. "I just wanted to be alone for a bit."

He recognizes the word alone and nods, starting to leave.

"Wait!" She calls. "You can stay, you don't annoy me... sorry for.. snapping." He shuts the door again, slowly moving to sit next to her.

She keeps frowning at the floor, but decides to talk. "Why'd you dance with me?"

She swears she can hear him laugh at her. "Bored." She couldn't wait until he could say full sentences, one word sentences were getting too cerebral for her; she couldn't decipher half of what he meant.

"You were bored, so you decided to embarrass the fuck out of me?"

He nods slightly, but then shakes his head and points at her. "Clove."

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, that's my name. Whatever, just don't make me dance again."

He scowls at her and then takes her hand. They sit there, Cato acting as if nothing was going on and Clove trying to figure out why there were butterflies in her tummy.

Clove spots Marvel sitting in a chair next to a sleeping Katniss, she pushes through the door and into the darkened room. He looks up at her, a compromised look on his face.

She looks down at a curled up Katniss, sighing. "How was she?"

"Okay but really sad."

Marvel was very worried, Clove could tell. It wasn't in his voice, or in his eyes, or in his face. It was in his choice of words. She plants herself next to him and just looks at him for a minute.

He then laughs sadly and lifts his head to look at her. "Did you even like the song, Clove? I mean are we even friends?"

Clove was confused as to why he'd ask her such a question, she didn't know the answer. She didn't know where she stood with anyone, let alone her ex-boyfriend. She blinks a few times, but doesn't answer.

"I don't even know what I did to hurt you, Clo."

"You didn't do anything." She mutters uselessly and dryly, Marvel shakes his head in defeat. "I'm not kidding, Marvel. You never did anything but treat me nicely."

More quietness surrounds them, shadows from the outside hall swishing across the ray of light cast onto the floor.

"... do you remember how you got me to stop talking long enough for you to ask me out?" Clove asks with a weird little chuckle, staring at the ground as if it provided the memory before her eyes; as though there were a television there.

"Yeah.." He laughs gently. "I kissed you and you looked at me like I had finally gone crazy."

"Marvel, you'd gone crazy a long time ago.. just not that crazy." They laugh together, like they always used to.

".. I remember our first date, I took you back to my house and we ate left overs with my ma and then went stargazing out on the roof." Marvel tells the brunette, who's lips flicker into a smile for only a minute. "You told me that you thought stars were people; angels. You told me you thought the night sky was an ocean of energy, where souls are rejuvinated and sent back to earth in any form it fits into."

"And you asked how I came up with that and I told you—"

"I have very interesting views, not my fault you're bland as oatmeal without brown sugar." He finishes her sentence, playing with his thumbs idly.

Clove exhales shakily. "How did you remember that?"

"How could I forget?"

She looks at him again, but it's not the same. She doesn't feel tingles all over her body, she doesn't feel the pleasant lightheartedness, she doesn't feel affection. She feels indifferent now.

She used to feel butterflies with him, when they were young and innocent and giddy and didn't truly have a concept of what love was. They'd found out about love together, and she'd felt the butterflies all the time with him. She thinks to herself, why'd she feel them with Cato?

Clove moves on before she gets scared.

"I'm sorry," She whispers. He looks at her. "For what?" "For making you handle it. It was never your problem."

Clove knew it was her fault they had broken up.

"Clove?" Marvel heard the refrigerator close. Walking into the kitchen, he found that she was circling the island. By now, there were 8 glasses on lemonade on the counter, and 2 cheesesticks to go with each one. She walked around the island twice with no trace of emotion on her face, opened the fridge, touched the mayonaise, ketchup, and butter with both hands, and then grabbed the lemonade jug with her left hand. She shut the refrigerator and then half circled the island, stopped to flip the lights on and off twice and then getting a glass from the cupboard and filling it with lemonade. She placed the ninth glass on the island, and then opened the refrigerator to put away the lemonade jug, closed it, opened it again and grabbed 2 cheesesticks and put them by the glass. She began to repeat it.

Marvel ran his hand down his face and slowly walked over to her, she was alone in the house. He should've known, he should've checked on her.

"Clove, Clove, hey—" He tried touching her shoulder but she whacked his hand aggressively. "Don't touch me." She hissed.

"Hey, no, look at me." He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "Look at me, what's wrong? What happened?"

Of course he knew exactly what was wrong. She was stressed because she was alone, there had been nothing else to think about but being alone. She was scared because he could tell by the look in her eyes that the thoughts had come and she couldn't stop them, she was scared she would act out and there wouldn't be anything anybody could do to stop it; so she resorted to this creepy ritual to keep her from thinking about it—about anything but the order.

Because no one knew it better than her, she was a monster when she was scared. And now that he was holding her still, she slapped at him in a monstrous way—a way that she never had before.

"I said don't touch me!"

"Clove, you're out of line just listen to me!" He pleaded she smashed a vase to the floor and collapsed in angry sobs. Her face was going red and she looked up at him.

"Why did they want me to go? Why didn't they love me? They kept me for display, all I ever did was be the perfect little girl so they could brag and be better than everyone else, I thought they cared about me because of that! But no.. they left me because I didn't want to be that girl anymore, I thought they would still love me.. even if I wasn't perfect.." She cried, hastily wiping her tears.

Marvel kneeled on the floor by Clove, watching as angry tears stripped down her cheeks.

"But guess what Marv? Not everyone can be beautiful. Not everyone can be famous. Not everyone can be perfect." He was mildly shaking his head as she explained to him with a passion.

"Because when everyone's perfect," She laughed out, but darkened just as quickly. "No one will be." But Marvel still saw Clove in there somewhere.

"... Clove, calm down—" "No!" She yelled, choking on her sobs and stumbling back. She pointed at him. "I hate you! You lied to me! You don't love me, you just want to use me like everyone else!"

"What?! No I don—"

"I want to break up. I'm done, I can't do it anymore. I won't be used again." She pushed her fingers into her temples, and before he could reach for her—tell her he loved her and that he would never use her; Clove scrambled off and locked herself in the bathroom.

Marvel stayed in the house but didn't bother to go get her, he waited until Haymitch got home and then he left. Even on the cold walk home, he couldn't believe what had happened.

His girl. His girl lost her mind that night, his girl broke up with him. Perhaps she'd wanted out all along.

Even though Clove knew she wanted to break up eventually, she hadn't wanted it to happen that way. She had wanted to get off on a good note for her first break up. But nothing was ever easy for her.

"I'll always remember what you said, because when everyone's perfect, no one will be. because it made a lot of sense."

"Yeah, bonehead?" She teases sadly, he chuckles lightly. So Marvel wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, he still got solid B-'s and C's. That was more than enough for him.

"Yeah. Because then everyone would be the same. It would be a false utopia, something that was unrealistic and... ugly. There wouldn't be a balance."

"I know what I said, Marvel. You don't need to explain."

More silence enclosed between them, Clove didn't notice the tears slipping down her cheeks. She remembers her father's smile when he taught her how to make brownies, her mother's pretty sundress when they went on picnics, and most of all when they would tuck her in and tell her that she could outshine the sun any day; and she would kiss them goodnight.

She'd loved her parents, how come they didn't love her?

Everyone she knew had cheated her, her best friend in middle school, her math tutor, and even some of the people she knew now. In her mind, even Marvel had cheated her. But she knew he hadn't, she just didn't want to believe that she had been wrong.

She had always been wrong, wrong about everyone because she didn't want to ask the questions. For that, she was a witch. She was a horrible person.

"When Katniss fainted today," Clove suddenly begins. "You wanna know the first thing I thought?" Her voice was wobbly, it caught in her throat once or twice.

Marvel watches as she gazes into her lap, her wet eyelashes blinking constantly.

"I wish that was me, and then I started to think, you know? Because that's not something someone thinks when someone gets hurt, they think oh! oh my gosh they're hurt! and I've always been a bit abstract, but for me to wish pain upon myself was new."

Clove turns to him, 5 tears dribbling down her cheeks and her face tightening in sorrow. Her bottom lip was quivering and she parts her mouth to take a shaky inhale, his mouth drops a bit.

"I'm just interested in knowing: how much of what you liked about me was because I was desperate and easy, and how much because I was me?" Her voice was choked up, she was on the verge of exploding into her first round of waterworks in years.

For the second time in one night, a girl cries on his shoulder. Turns out today was emotional for everyone.

And he hugs her, hearing her loud sobs being let out into his shoulder as her small body shakes and erupts with pent-up sadness, and anger towards everything and she deserves to vent to someone.

Just because she stopped being his friend doesn't mean he stopped being hers.


Cato watches the boy from the scrapbook carry a sleeping Clove out into the waiting room where he sits, she is relentlessly put into his lap.

The boy smiles. No words pass between them, Cato is thankful. He wouldn't have understood anyway.

Cato takes Clove home. He lays her in bed and puts a Smoky beside her, the tiny kitten curls up next to her warm body instantly. After returning with a glass of water to put on her bedside table, he himself settles down and lets his head hit the pillow. Before dozing off, he feels a hand slip into his, holding tight as if he were an anchor.

"Thank you." A voice whispers.


Finally wrapped up the Clarvel, I was so done with them. I hate that pairing compared to my beautiful Clato... compared to anything, actually. -.- Wait, I already said all that.. oh well, I said it again.

Okay! So.. REVIEW? Please don't follow/favorite without a review! Thanks for reading :) And apologies for any mistakes, I don't get time for writing during the day so I write at night. :/ And sometimes I just mess up on grammar XD