My characters are talking non stop to me, I'm loving writing this story.

Thank you to all my readers xxx

As always I don't own anything.

I had feelings today. Feelings I never thought I would have again for a girl.

I'm so confused right now. I hate her for making me feel like this. I feel vulnerable.

Yet for the first time in over a year, I feel alive.

This can't be happening to me, What is she doing to me that a simple touch had my stomach in knots and the feeling of her hands moving down my legs had me excited?

Fuck, I hate her. Everything was fine, I was fine, until she arrived.

Edward closed his diary and placed it into his drawer shutting his eyes, and wide brown eyes replaced the usual dark shadows behind his eyelids, as he slipped into a restless sleep. Then once again images of his childhood flooded his mind, choking him like a thick smoke.

"Get out the fucking way you little shit."

"Tanya can't you dump the kids somewhere, I wanted to party?"

"For fuck's sake Tanya, that kids staring at me again."

Memories of his Mum's boyfriends voices and the smell of cheap alcohol and cigarettes, burned in his nose.

"Edwaaaard bba-b-b-y, take uuuur ssster in the other rooom."

"Let me sleep Edward, I'll feed you both later."

"Edward, get out of my way!"

"I hate you, you ruined my life, I was happy until you were born!"

"You will never be anything, you have a slut druggie for a mum, you might as well curl up and die in a corner kid."

Then dark pools pulled him back from the nightmare, as if they had secured themselves to him with an invisible thread.

Her harsh slurs, her daily neglect and the image of her leaving the house, not knowing, completely unaware it would be the last time they'd see her, circled around and around in his mind..

Again, the brown orbs pulled on his consciousness willing him to rid himself of the nightmares.

"Fuck," he whispered, as he wiped the tears from his gritty eyes, he hadn't had a nightmare quite so vivid in a while, but those eyes?... He thought laying back down, placing his arm across his face.

Bella grabbed her notebook from her room and went on the hunt for Esme. She had ideas and rules she wanted to put into place, but wanted to pass them by her first. She found her in the conservatory, it was bright and full of the most amazing colours and scents.

Perfect, she thought to herself.

She was reading a book and although she hated to disturb her, Bella needed to talk, so she waited patiently for a moment until her presence was noticed.

Esme had felt her energy as she walked into the room, this unknown force they had welcomed into their house, was like a breath of fresh air.

"You don't need to stand Sweetie, did you need something?" she smiled, as she lay her book onto the table beside her, pushing her reading glasses into her mass of auburn curls.

"I'm sorry, if you're busy, I can come back later."

"I'm never too busy to talk to those who need me," she gestured to the wicker chair in front of her.

Bella sat and opened her notebook. Esme chuckled causing her to give her a questioning glance.

"I'm sorry sweetie, it's going to take a bit of getting used to that you're the professional here, you look so young."

She knew she didn't mean it as a derogatory remark, so she simply shrugged.

"Yes, I suppose it will. Dr Cullen said most of Edward's carers had been older?"

"And battle axes," Esme added, laughing. "Sorry, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Bella cleared her throat. "I have some ideas, rules...kind of," she began.

Esme moved forward on her seat.

"Rules?"

"Erm... yes, they are for Edward mainly, but everyone will need to follow them to help him."

Esme smiled tapping her chin, "So, you are giving us new rules, for the house?" she mused.

Bella closed her book. "I'm sorry, that was really presumptuous of me."

She began to get up, but Esme grabbed her hand.

"Sit, I'm sorry, I was teasing you, please continue," she winked.

Bella laughed, shaking her head. "Wow, and I thought Edward was going to be hard work," she said under her breath, just loud enough for Esme to hear.

"Now you're getting it," she smiled.

"So, the rules?"

Bella and Esme spent the rest of the afternoon going over her ideas for the new rules, some had to be compromised because of Edward's medication, however all in all she was pleased at the outcome.

She had decided to go with zero tolerance, feeling it was the only way to break Edward's bad habits.

He was no longer going to be allowed to spend the whole day in his self imposed prison, and Esme agreed that spending time with the rest of the family would help. Although, she secretly thought she was more thrilled about seeing her son around the house, than he would be.

They decided on an exercise routine, starting off with the pool every morning, low impact exercise was always the first thing a patient did after an accident, so she had been taught, even though it had been a year since Edward's. Esme suggested Bella go with Carlisle to the hospital to meet with Edward's doctor and therapist, she agreed that she would be able to treat him better if she knew his physical constraints, and in addition, she would have more confidence working on his mental ones too.

"He used to love the garden," Esme sighed.

Bella shook her head, she'd noticed when people spoke about Edward, they always used past tense. It seemed like they were living in the past with him, and that needed to be addressed immediately.

Esme left Bella to add the final details to the new house rules and went to check on Alice, who was in the pool with Emmett. On her way back she made herself a coffee and a glass of orange juice for Bella, grabbing two cinnamon rolls from the cupboard, she placed them on a tray before returning to the conservatory.

They ate and laughed, as she talked about happier times in the household, recalling how she had found Alice out in the garden at three in the morning, the first winter it had snowed.

"She was stood, mouth open, tongue out, catching snow on it," she laughed, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

Bella smiled as her face lit up, talking about her children, not her niece and nephew; her children.

"Now Mrs Cullen, you are going to have to follow these rules, no matter how much of a fight he puts up," she said dramatically, raising her eyebrow. Esme let out a laugh, slapping her leg.

It was an innocent enough touch and she knew that, but old habits die hard Bella jumped pushing the chair back with a resounding crash into some potted plants.

"Bella?" she shouted in shock, as her eyes fell.

"I'm so sorry," she stammered, as she dropped to the floor to clean up the debris she had caused.

As she scrambled to grab the pieces of broken pottery, she nicked her finger on a small shard.

"Shit!" she hissed, sucking the blood droplet, when a soft hand grabbed hers, turning it round.

"Let me look?"

Instinctively she pulled her hand back, recoiling on the floor.

"Bella?"

Jumping to her feet, she headed up to her room, slamming the door behind her with her foot. She made it to the bathroom just in time, sitting on the cool floor, she hugged the toilet until her nausea passed. Deciding a shower would make her feel better, she turned on the water, whilst she waited for it to heat up, she grabbed a towel and some clean clothes.

Bella hadn't brought all her clothes, so she decided on a pair of loose sweat pants, and one of her novelty T shirts, choosing the 'Be kind to fat people, they may just save your life one day' one, that had a grizzly chasing two men, the fat one obviously closer to the bear than the thinner man.

She allowed the hot water to un-knot her muscles in her neck and shoulders. Closing her eyes, she wondered how on earth she would be able to explain the clusterfuck that had just happened downstairs. It had all happened so fast, one minute they were talking and she was beginning to feel settled, not quite at home, but it was hard not to feel relaxed in Mrs Cullen's presence.

She needed to focus, Mrs Cullen didn't have a malicious bone in her body how could she have thought for a moment that she would strike her.

Turning off the water, she dried and dressed herself before sitting at her desk to open her laptop. She brought up her calendar and decided to start a daily diary of how things were progressing or not, whichever the case may be with Edward. She entered the new rules and added some new ones to be discussed with Mrs Cullen, sighing at the thought of how she might be feeling after his outburst.

Could she really confide in her?

Maybe a little, not the whole story? Logging off she went to find her.

Bella found her in the kitchen peeling potatoes for the evening meal, and talking to Dr Cullen, she took a deep breath...

"When she left, he was lost, I'd just finished school and was ready for college," she sniffed as tears threatened to fall.

"My aunt helped out for a while, but even she became fed up of his mood swings," she sighed.

She hadn't noticed that Esme had moved closer until the scent of her perfume filled her nose.

"Sweetie, did your father, did he..?" she started, Bella shook her head fiercely.

"No!" she shouted "He never touched me.." she deflated, sitting down.

"It was verbal and I guess emotional...He couldn't help it, the things he had seen when he had been overseas" she whispered.

"Did he hit you?" Carlisle said, incredulously, "You need to be honest with us"

"He picked fights, shouting at me, banging his fists or punching holes in walls usually when he had been drinking, which became more and more frequent," she explained.

"This makes sense now, you calling me Sir, flinching when I raised my voice, banging my cup down on the table?" Carlisle exhaled, pushing his hands through his short hair.

"I slapped your knee?" Esme whispered, she nodded wiping her eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't think it had affected me that much," she sighed, "It became the norm, same shit different day."

"I'd forgotten what it was like to be in a normal family."

"We're far from normal," Carlisle scoffed.

"You don't raise your voice," Bella turned to look at them, "Or your hand."

"We're so sorry Isabella, if we'd have known..."

"Would you have still hired me?"

Carlisle walked towards her, slowly placing his hand on her shoulder, "Yes Isabella, we would."

Bella shrugged, it's not that she didn't believe him, she just felt that they probably didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"So, you would really want another broken kid in the house?" She bit her lip as soon as the words had spilled past them,"I'm sorry I didn't mean..." she exhaled.

"Maybe, that is exactly why you are here?" Esme smiled, holding her hand out to Bella.

Bella nodded, wiping her face on her sleeve, "I can and will look after Edward to the best of my ability." She spoke with a new found confidence.

"We never doubted it for a moment, but please talk to us if you need to," Carlisle insisted.

"I will, now can I help with dinner, I love to cook when I can?"