Disclaimer - I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. I do own the plot.
'...' Thinking
"..." Inner Sakura
"..." Flashback
"..." Speaking
Song recommendation for this chapter: "Fix you" by Coldplay
Betrayal
Chapter Nine: Confessions
It had been one of the longest nights of Sakura's entire life.
She had tossed and turned in every direction. At one time when she heard Naruto awake at her mattress turning, she shut her eyes up tight and breathed peacefully, in hope that he would have thought she was fast asleep. When she felt that he had settled down again, she turned away from him, tears glistening at the corner of her jade green eyes.
I love him.
Somewhere along the line, she must have fallen into a deep slumber as it was suddenly morning again. Not wanting to be trapped in that bed another second, she threw the sheets down onto the floorboards and proceeded to the door.
"Mmph." A muffled voice caught her attention, she glanced back to see a mop of blonde hair try to untangle itself from the pile of material. Realizing what she had mistakenly done. She rushed back and seized the bundle, Naruto's half naked body came into view.
"I don't quite know what happened," he muttered, rubbing his tired eyes from the lack of sleep that he had too, had the displeasure of experiencing. Sakura roughly gathered the linen up and placed them on her unmade bed. "Did you try and smother me with your sheets or something?"
"Sorry, I forgot you were down there," she apologized, again not looking at him. "Otherwise I would have been more careful."
The pair fell into an awkward silence, both the thoughts in their minds drowning out one another as the headaches started again. They both innocently glanced upwards, when their gazes locked they immediately turned away, blushing madly. Until Sakura had finally gotten sick and tired of it.
"Look, this is silly…"
"-So silly." Naruto scrambled up and raked a hand through his already messy hair. The couple were again met by total silence. Sakura wondered why the birds weren't chirping outside or why any Akatsuki members were making any noise downstairs. Did they all want to listen in to listen in or something? Should she shout so no one wouldn't be hard of hearing?
"Umm," they both chose to say at the same precise moment.
"Naruto, you go first,"
"No its ok, you start,"
"No, I insist-.."
"This really isn't getting us anywhere," Naruto sighed, a little confidence burning up inside of him. "I'll begin then," Sakura nodded, urging him to continue as she settled herself on the bed. He took a seat beside her. "I… Really think we should talk about yesterday… Er. I would appreciate it if you just let me finish before you start because I feel this needs to be said."
"Ok." She agreed, heart beginning to thump like crazy. Those damn butterflies in her taunt stomach began to flutter backwards and forwards like crazy. He clutched his hands together, struggling somehow to find the right words,
"This… Isn't right." He stated finally. As soon as the words left his mouth, a jackhammer started to dig in his stomach, his organs winding around it like a bendy straw.
"W-What?"
WHAAAAAA ?
"Us! It's… I dunno," he stood up and began to pace, hands flailing wildly. "It's like… Two birds that haven't flown away even though they want to, but they can't seeing as they could run into trouble – like a cat or something!"
Sakura raised her carefully plucked eyebrows. "Naruto… What the hell are you going on about?"
"I dunno!"
"-..Are you having a panic attack?"
"-..YE – No!" He took a deep breath and kneeled in front of her, taking both her hands and looking deep into her green orbs so intently that she thought he was lost into them.
"Naruto, are you asking me to marry you?"
"NO! God no – don't get the wrong idea!"
"So you're saying that there's nothing marriable about me?" She questioned, feeling a little hurt from the tone of his voice. He stroked her hands, an apologetic look on his face.
"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm not good at this kind of thing. If I had my wish then I'd have been married to you for years now already."
Yeowza.
"Y-Years?" Sakura whispered. Somewhere deep in the back of her mind, she had always known that Naruto had held a special place for her in his heart. Thing is, that she never knew how deep that space was and how far he would go to possibly protect it. Now she knew.
"Yes," he admitted. "Ever since we first joined the academy. I caught sight of you pink hair and found myself staring into the eyes of an angel. Through all those years, I only wished that the angel would glance back at me."
She felt her face heat up with totally unwanted blood. Of course back then she had indeed noticed him but he was just 'the orange and yellow blob' who was nothing but part of the background scenery. And that blob did nothing all day but run around like a madman and shriek things at the very top of his voice.
"Im… Sorry. I had a rather inflated ego back then." She apologised.
He smiled sadly. "It's alright, no worries."
Sakura however felt far from 'alright'. She had known the constant exile that he had suffered from the villagers, her own parents had even shunted him right up until the very moment they died. Sakura had turned a blind eye to it, pretending not to notice the sad little orphaned boy sitting on his own on the swing. Her eyes began to water, dangerously ready to tip over the side of her eyelashes. She didn't like Naruto to see her cry, yet he was the only one that fully understood her silent pain and sympathised.
Without another thought, she leaned forward and flung her arms around him, quietly sobbing into the crook of his neck. He gently held her shaking shoulders.
"I… I'm in… In love with… You." She breathed, inhaling his sweet scent. She could tell that he was totally in shock as his body went rigid and his hands had stopped caressing her hair. She bit down hard on her lip to keep herself from saying anymore; he had to at least digest this big piece of news first. "And I really don't know want to do anymore! This feeling – it's so different from what I had with Sasuke.. I want to be with you!"
"It's not right." Naruto let go of his hold on her and faced away.
"W-What?"
"I'm sorry, Sakura."
"Sorry about what? Tell me Naruto-.."
"You and me – It's not ok." He tried to inject some confidence into his words and keep them steady. The jackhammer seemed to have drilled every organ he had, to pieces.
Her mouth fell open of its own accord. Naruto was… Reclining her? Rejecting her? Full of a sudden rage, she tackled him by his legs and caused him to go toppling over onto the unmade bed.
"BASTARD!" She yelled, tears again flowing freely. "Are you playing some sick minded game with me? Huh? First you say you love me and what… Now you don't?"
"I…"
"What the hell are you!"
"Bu-.."
"Was this some old stupid bet with Sasuke or something? A game of 'see who can get into Sakura's pants?'"
"No-.."
"Just tell me now Naruto!" She spat. "Do you love me – or not?"
Inwardly relieved that she had stopped screaming right into his ear, he nervously played with the hem of the bed sheet. He tried to ignore the pain of his heart and the tears flicking down onto his face, from her watering eyes.
"No." He whispered, heart suddenly filling with the poisonous liquid in which was named 'guilt.' He glanced upwards to see her looming down on him. Hearing his final answer, she gave a yell of disgust and threw him an incredibly dirty look before storming out.
"She's right… I am a bastard."
"I love him… I hate him… I love him… I hate him…" Sakura continued to viciously yank the small white petals off the small innocent daisy she had found. Cursing Naruto vigorously with every 'hate' petal and still cursing him even with a 'love' petal. She knew that it was totally meaningless but it as least helped to ease the pain.
Why did he lie?
Oh… It's you.
Well don't kill yourself sounding grateful. Jeez…
'Listen, I'm not in the mood right now. Leave me alone.'
"Sakura?" A voice said. She cluched her fists and turned to swear at what she though was that damn blonde shinobi. Luckily though it was only Tobi and no one else.
"Sakura?" He repeated, sitting down beside her on an old log. "Are you ok?"
"Come on Tobi, you not that stupid are you?" Indeed she was right. All he would have to do it take a glance at her red cheeks, tear stained face and puffy eyes to realise what had happened. "I look like some kind of blow fish." She sniffed.
He chuckled quietly. "Blow fishes aren't beautiful. Anyway, yeah I do kinda know what's going on, we could hear you shouting about something but we were too busy trying to sleep ya know…"
"God – I'm so sorry!" She apologised. "When I let rip – I just can't control myself."
He nodded and sighed contently, gazing up toward the sky from the one eye hole in his orange mask. "I like the clouds. You can just sit and look at them all day – the shapes they transform into are amazing. One day is something like an animal, another day its an object in your everyday life," she could tell from the tone of his voice that he was grinning under his mask. She had enough practice from observing Kakashi for many years to tell that. Tobi continued to speak.
"Clouds are more or less carefree. They glide from one side of the world to another, sometimes torn apart completely or made whole," he paused and looked back at her. "Naruto is the closest thing to a cloud that I have ever seen in all my years of living. He floats on day by day protecting his friends and having fun. When he is sad he separates from the cheerful side of himself, when he is with you – he feels complete."
Sakura silently listened intently to Tobi's rare wise words. In truth, she had never thought of comparing Naruto to something as carefree before, if she'd had her way then Naruto would be described as a runaway train for his hyper activeness. But she knew on some level that Tobi was right.
"When did you get so smart," she laughed quietly. "Deidara is always going on about how dumb you are."
"Well, that just proves he doesn't listen does he? He's just too damn absorbed in those damn shitty clay things." They both burst out laughing together. Sakura's heart feeling all but a little lighter, now that her understanding of Naruto was a little less flawed.
And so instead of dwelling on the fact that she had been rejected, she forced it roughly to the back of her mind and pasted a smile of her face and spent the whole day laughing and chatting with Tobi.
"Thank god it's Sunday," Sakura dug into the remains of the ramen cup, succeeding in hovering up some stray noodles. "Deidara works us too hard – I can't believe it's only today that we have a day off!"
Tobi leaned back on the hideously cracked leather sofa. "Deidara is a tough teacher but he's good, really knows what he's on about but he does tend to waffle. When he gets to that point, I tend to play the 'stupid' card and ignore him."
"Too right!" She agreed. "One time last week he spent absolutely ages nattering on about punching with the right part of your fist – as if I didn't know already – we got so bored that Naruto and I just took off-.." She saddened at the mention of his name, eating his favourite food didn't help either but Tobi totally understood and chuckled appreciatively.
"Wow it's late, I have a mission tomorrow so I guess I better go to bed."
She nodded. "Yeah, before Itachi gets on your case." Tobi gave her a brief hug and bid her goodnight before returning the dark hallway that led to his room. She rubbed her full stomach and got up to clear the empty containers away. She dumped them in the silver bin and too, proceeded to her room.
With every step that got closer and closer to her room, she suddenly started to feel a bit sick. Her pace slowed until she was at a near halt, remembering Tobi's words of encouragement again, she forced her stone heavy legs to move forward and at last she was stood outside her room.
Should… I knock?
Don't be silly. It's your room.
She gulped and reached for the rusted brass doorknob, slowly turning it, the door creaked open and she peered round for signs of life… nothing.
Slightly disappointed, she kicked off her shoes and leaned against the now closed and locked door. Closing her eyes, she heard a sound from the bathroom. She silently debated with herself whether to check it out or not.
Rubbish, you know he's in there and yet you're acting like you're scared. Have some confidence in yourself!
I do have confidence. She thought moodily, walking over to enter.
"OOF." Two people exclaimed at once. Sakura was just about to apologise for her clumsiness when she glanced up and saw that familiar blonde boy stare down at her.
"N-Naruto…"
He didn't say hello or smile. Before she knew it, he leaning down and lightly pressing his lips against hers.
"I love you."
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